I'll Take Care Of You Part 2
by Holly79
Summary: I'll take care of you part 2. If you haven't yet, you should read the first part.
1. Chapter 1

**I should do cliffhangers more often. This is part 2. I didn't want to have one story with over 200 thousand words so I added a new one. I would have uploaded this earlier but I had to get it just right. **

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**LPOV**

I miss my house. I miss my bed. And Elliot. It was only one night but I miss him. He is usually next to me handing me pillows or rubbing my back. I never realized how much I needed him here. I even woke up early. It's only 7:30. But I'm getting married today. The first thing I do is look at my dress. I just need to make sure it doesn't have any stains. I had a dream that I wasn't getting married today because I was so upset about a stain on the dress. I'm happy to say that the dress made it through the night. I make my way to the bathroom and remove my clothes to get in the shower.

It's pretty calm. That's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to wake up and not be bothered by anyone. I knew that if I got ready with everyone I would be watched non-stop. This way all I have to focus on is my self and trying to stay calm. I was going to have Isabelle sleep in my room but Emily and her were having so much fun that Andy decided to take her. I feel bad just leaving her but she would have more fun with Emily than with me this morning.

I get in the shower and turn on the water. It takes me a while to figure out what way is hot and cold. But my legs feel warm before my head. I'm glad I got a wax yesterday so I won't have to shave today. Not that I could. Elliot usually shaves my legs now that I can't reach my feet.

I don't want to complain because up until the very recent back pain and the incident in Brooks I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. And so far the baby won't be huge so the chances of me delivering naturally are high. I know Elliot worries but I think our compromise is a happy medium. Or unhappy depends who you ask. I love how involved he's been. He goes to every appointment and makes it a point to always ask questions. How biggest worry is that something will happen to me. "We can have another baby but I can't have another you." He always says. I know it's true but I already love this baby so much I don't think I can go through another pregnancy and have no baby. He says we can adopt. Which is true but I need just one baby so I can feel like a complete woman I guess. It's a right of passage in my book.

I make my way out of the shower and get dressed. I have my computer with me so Elliot and I were on Skype last night. I found out I could easily balance the laptop on my stomach. At least until the baby moved and I would have to reposition it. I must have fallen asleep with the computer on because when I woke up the battery was dead. Mia took away my phone so I wouldn't call Elliot and figure out his room number. We figured it out though. I was tempted to walk to his room but I figured one night wouldn't hurt. Besides in a few hours we would be husband and wife.

**EPOV**

Someone was knock known my door. It better not be a stripper. My friend from college, Scott said he was going to send one but he never did. I'm glad though because I don't need Lina to hate me more. I know she only forgave me so quickly yesterday because she didn't want us to get to the altar and be mad at each other. Fuck the altar. This wedding came faster than I thought it would. They knock again. I put some pants on and go to the door. I turn on a lamp and my eyes take a minute to adjust. I unlock the door and find Lina on the other side.

"Morning. My sister's gonna kill you if she knows you're here." She bites her lip and looks down. I tilt her chin up so she can look at me. "Hey what's wrong?" She shakes her head. Something's wrong or else she wouldn't be here. Or she wouldn't look this upset.

"Can I come in?" I step aside and watch her as she holds her bag tighter. She's not getting cold feet is she?

"Lina what is it?" I close the door and lock it.

"We can't... We have to cancel the wedding." Fuck. Why now? Maybe it's because of the bachelor party. She doesn't trust me. I take a step back and run my fingers through my hair. "I know this isn't suppose to happen like this but Elliot I'm sorry."

"Why though? Did I do something? If it's about yesterday I don't do anything I didn't even touch any one of them. Lina I love you. Don't do this baby. Whatever is wrong we can work through it. I love you." I step toward her and force my lips on hers. She responds but not like she normally would.

"Elliot." I kiss her hard again. She has to know I love her. "Elliot I love you... let me talk." I pull her harder against me and feel the baby kick. "Elliot my water broke." I let her go and take a step back. Shit! Fuck she's not due for another three weeks. Fuck. We're not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. Shit! We should have gone to those pregnancy classes sooner. I kept putting them off thinking I had time. And now we don't. Maybe I can just do what they do in movies. Breathing exercises and then when she has contractions I hold her hand. Once she screams bloody murder it's over right? Fuck what do I do. "Baby? Please say something." I snap out of it and see her face. God she must be just as scared shitless as I am. I pull her into my arms and kiss the top if her head. She grips my shirt before letting out a sob.

"What is it? Are you in pain?" I see that she's crying. Fuck maybe I should get my mom.

"No pain. My contractions are 15 minutes apart. My water broke in the shower but I didn't notice until I had a contraction a while later. I'm sorry I'm crying it's stupid." She wipes her tears. I lead her to the bed so she can sit down. At least she isn't in pain, not yet anyways.

"It's not stupid. What's wrong?" She shakes her head. She's trying to put on a brave face. "Don't do that, you can talk to me. I want to help."

"I'm just... I'm scared Elliot." I smile at her. Fuck she's so beautiful even when she cries.

"Of what?" I ask her.

"What if something goes wrong? I can't lose another baby El. I can't do it." I forgot about that. I kneel so I'm in front of her wiping her tears. I press a kiss on her belly button and her hands pull on my hair.

"You won't. And you're not alone baby I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." I kiss her lips so she knows I love her. God even scared the way she is, she's amazing. "I'm right here. I won't leave you. I promise."

"Thanks, for being here you have no idea how much it means to me to have you. Not just now but always." I take her hands.

"There's no where I would rather be." She smiles a little and I could swear she feels better. At least until her grip on my hands tightens. She whimpers. "Contraction?" She nods her head. "Don't bite your lip baby. Take deep breaths." After a few seconds it's over and I wait for her breathing to even out before saying anything. Once she's breathing again I hand her my phone. "Do you want to call our moms? Or who ever is going to be in the delivery room? We never talked about that."

"I... Don't be mad please but I wanted it to just be us. We can call them when it's over. I just don't want a crowd in the hospital. It's our first baby I want to have this moment alone with you. If... Is that okay?"

"Baby if that's what you want. I wanted it to just be us too but I thought you would want them there." I start to put my things in my suitcase.

"El do you want to grab a shower?" Is she crazy? She's in labor.

"We don't have time for that we have to get you to a hospital."

"My contractions aren't too close together. It will probably be another few hours. We have time. And we still have to go home and get the hospital bag ready. And get some extra clothes for me. Just don't take an extra long shower please." I ask if she's sure and she says yes.

"Okay I will, after the shower we'll head to your room and get your things. Do you want to just ignore everyone?"

"Yea. I'll leave a note for Mia but I just don't need an audience." I sit next to her and take her hands in mine. "Are you going to shower?"

"Oh yea I'll jump in as soon as your next contraction passes. I don't want you to be alone for them." At fourteen minutes she gets another contraction. This time she breathes through her mouth and doesn't bite her lip. She might have bled if she bit it again. "You okay?" She nods her head. "I won't take long. Just watch some tv while you're here. I'll get my stuff packed and we can head out." Before she responds I run to the shower and jump in before the water has time to get warm. Fuck it's cold. Good thing too because I woke up with a need to fuck her and now I'm cut off. My right hand is going to be a lot stronger now. Fuck she's in labor and I'm in the shower thinking about being buried deep inside her. I'm gonna miss sex. There always oral. I turn the water even colder to shake those thoughts.

Once I get out I warp a towel around my waist and head out to get some clothes. Of course she has to be packing my shit.

"You should be resting." I get behind her and kiss her neck.

"I'm just trying to keep busy." She continues as I get my clothes on. "You're phone was ringing."

"Shut it off baby. If I leave it on Christian will just track us and it will ruin the quiet-birth plan. We can call the hospital from the house. Ready?" She nods before zipping the suitcase. I grab my laptop and phone and place it on the pocket of my luggage.

I open the door for her and we make our way to her room. She has all her things ready so all we have to do is actually put them in the suitcase. She has another contraction. 14 minutes. She says it was stronger than her last but it didn't last as long. "Actually can you just get the car. I'll meet you on the side of the hotel in a few minutes."

"Yea baby. But hurry I don't want you alone. Give me the suitcase. Leave a note for Mia. I'm gonna tell the front desk to tell my mom to get Isabelle for the night is that okay?" I would feel better if mom had her. Isabelle is very close to my dad so I know that if she feels unloved she can just go to him. She nods her head. "I'll meet you downstairs in a bit." I take both our suitcases and head downstairs. I'm glad she told me to go ahead of her because I don't want her to have a contraction in the street. I'd rather she have one in the car.

I'm trying to be brave for her sake but I'm freaking out. I know I can't act scared in front of her or else she will get scared too. Someone has to be the brave one. Damn we parked far.

I make a mental note of all the things we need: diapers, no we have some I think. We got some on the baby shower. We need to put a gate on the top of the stairs for when he starts moving. He's gonna need a little toilet thing for when we potty train him. Shit? We're not ready. It's too soon he wasn't suppose to come for another three or four weeks. Is it even safe? What am I thinking. None of those things matter he won't even move for a few months. Ok, what do we need now? A car seat. Those bottle things. Unless Lina is going to breast feed. She probably will lately she's been going over food that are healthy or aren't so that the baby has the best weight possible. So we don't need formula. I pull up to the side of the building and see her walking out. I get out of the car ignoring the angry drivers. Fucking assholes. Can't they see there's a woman in labor! I open her door and take her laptop. Once I see she's settled, I close the door and get back in the driver's side.

Damn she must be really scared. I don't know what to do when I see her crying so I just take her hand. I put on her country music thinking it might calm her down. I have to admit the music annoyed me at first but it's growing on me. I starts singing a song that's on and she just looks at me. I must sound really bad with my fake country accent though. But at least I get her to laugh a little.

Once we get to the house I leave the car right in front of the door. She had a contraction four minutes ago so we're good for ten minutes. I stand behind her as we make our way up the stairs. She stops half way through and leans on the wall. "Talk to me." I whisper. I feel like if I talk too loud she'll get scared.

"Just... Tired. Give me a minute." I could just carry her upstairs but I'm afraid something will happen. She starts moving again.

"Where the baby bag?" She points to the baby's room. She follows me and opens the bag making sure we have everything.

"Are we missing anything?" How the hell do I know. I've never had a kid. I get my phone and google it. According to some parents website checklist we have everything.

"Baby let's get your things. We probably won't be gone more than two or three days. If I need to I'll come back and get different things." She starts picking out some yoga pants and shirts.

"Elliot you have to get clothes for you too."

"I will. Are you done?" She nods her head. I put her things in the bag that we left in the bed so she can rest. When I walk into the bathroom I find her doing her make up. "Lina what are you doing? Why do you need make up?" I ask her. God she's frustrating sometimes.

"There's gonna be pictures. I don't want to look like a slob. We have to look at these pictures for the rest of his life. I'm almost done I just didn't want to look so pale. I'm done relax." I shake my head. Relax? I am relaxed. A few minutes ago she was crying and now I'm the one who's emotional. Once she's finished she goes in the closet to get a different set of clothes.

"Why don't you wear some of those black stretchy pants?"

"I was going to but I can't get them up. It's okay I'll just settle for a dress."

"Don't worry about it. I'll help you." I get her the leggings she loves so much. I hate how she can't move. I know she doesn't ask for help because she's too embarrassed. "Sit down. What shoes do you want?" She points to some flats and I put them on her feet. She starts lifting her shirt and I help remove it for her. Fuck her tits are huge. Lucky breast-feeding-baby. "What shirt?"

"Can you get me one of your button up shirts. And my knitted sweater. It's white, it should be on the end. Please and thank you." I help roll up her sleeves and she has another contraction mid way. 13 minutes apart. Once it's over I finish the other sleeve and she puts on her sweater and fixes her hair.

"Ok I'm ready. Can you just get the camera it's on the bedside table." I put the camera in the side pocket. "Did you call the hospital?"

"Yes they're expecting a Grey in about an hour."

"Crap. We're really doing this?" She looks at me. What is she talking about?

"Yes. You'll be fine. Both of you. I won't leave you okay? I'm right here." I bend down to kiss her lips. I meant for it to be a short kiss but when her lips parted I couldn't stop. I reached out to tangle my tongue with hers. "We can't. We have to stop. We really have to get going." She nods and walks out. Going down the stairs is a lot easier for her. Once we get in the car she reminds me about the car seat. I run back to the garage and get the whole box. I was going to set it up but we're out of time. It's almost the 13 minute mark.

The drive to the hospital is pretty quiet on her part. She tried to take a nap but as soon as she fell asleep we arrived so I had to wake her up. One of the nurses recognized me so I had to pull out the whole doctor-patient confidentiality so they wouldn't call my mom. Once we were in a room I helped Lina get dressed again and we waited for the doctor to come in.

I knew that they had to check her down there but it was weird. A nurse came in. She looked pretty young, one of those recently graduated girls. You could tell that she was wearing a push-up bra even though she had scrubs. She kept biting her lip, if Lina was biting her lip I would say it was hot but she did it and I just wanted to shoot myself. "Okay Mrs. Grey I'm going to ask you to lay down." Lina decided that gravity would help her out and she was pacing. I helped her get on her back. "Okay if you could just bend your knees and open a bit." Lina looked away and did as they asked. I couldn't stop staring at what the doctor was doing. She reached down to feel how dilated she was but her eyes were on me. Is she serious? She's checking me out and her hand is in my girlfriend's vagina? Fuck. I look at Lina and she sees when the nurse winks at me. Damn I really don't need some nurse to make Lina insecure. I know she feels like I don't want her but that isn't the case. "You're about five centimeters so your half way there. Dr. Torres will be here in a few minutes. She has another mom in labor right now. Other than that patient she's all yours. If you need anything-"

"We know thanks." I cut her off before she tries to get suggestive.

"I want another nurse." Lina tells me as soon as I close the door.

"Don't be jealous."

"That was so inappropriate. She was eye fucking you right in front of me."

"I know. I saw. But she doesn't mean anything to me. I'm with you and we are the ones having a baby. She's just some slut walking around. Don't pay attention to her." I sit on the side of her bed. I tilt her head up so she looks at me. "You're the only one that matters. I'll get you a new nurse." I kiss her and walk out to the nurses station. Once I get a hold of someone in charge some lady volunteers to be our new nurse. She's a little older probably mid forties. But she's married and that's what I wanted. Lina seems pretty content with that.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey, I see you little one couldn't wait another three weeks. That's completely normal. Very few babies are actually born on their due date. And yours is fully developed. I actually have no other mothers as of now so I have time to talk to you about your birth plan. Last time we talked we didn't get to an agreement."

"She's waiting seven hours. If in seven hours from right now she hasn't given birth then she'll have a c-section." I say before Lina responds. The doctor looks at Lina for confirmation.

"Seven hours. But until those seven hours are up as long as I'm doing fine he can't say anything." She nods her head.

"That's fine. You're at five cm right now. Has your water broken?"

"Yes this morning around 8:30."

"Any contractions?" She is setting Lina up to a fetal heart rate monitor.

"They're about 11 or twelve minutes apart. They last about 40 or more seconds." I didn't know we had to time them.

"Well from the looks of it if everything is going how it is now, you won't need a c-section. And the baby doesn't look too big. Not too small either. You should be cleared to deliver naturally. What about an epidural?"

"No epidural." I'm going to kill Lina. Fuck she doesn't listen to anything I have to say. She grabs my hand knowing it pissed me off. I want to just ignore her but I can't do that, when I know she's in labor.

"What about names have-" she stops talking when she sees Lina grab the sheets. This time I actually count. 53 seconds. I rub her back and pull her he air from her face. "Wow okay that was only 8 minutes from your last one. When did they check you?"that was way too soon for a contraction.

"Half an hour ago." Lina lays back closing her eyes. The doctor decides to check again.

"Wow you're a lucky girl. You're at six. Hopefully it keeps this rhythm. You can walk a little but once you at seven you have to lay down. So just enjoy the last few minutes. Maybe gravity will help you out." The doctor starts walking out.

"Wait is he okay? Like he's not breech or anything right. He should be fine. You've been talking about me but is the baby okay?"

"You're baby is perfect. He's getting into position right now." Lina nods her head. I can't image how scared she must be. Especially because of what she went through.

She stands up and starts walking.

"Holy fuck! Shit! Damn this hurts." She's leaning forward on the bed. "Don't fucking touch me you bastard." She slaps my hand away. Once it's over she apologizes saying she doesn't mean it. I figured that's as bad as it gets with the insults but I found out a few hours later I was so wrong.

"Elliot you son a bitch!" I rubbed her back with one hand and held on to her hand with the other waiting for it to pass. For being so small she's pretty strong when she wants to be. The doctor has been coming in every half an hour and she should be here again soon.

"How are we doing? On a scale of one to ten how's your pain?"

"Eight. Nine." She is checking her again.

"Ok I'm going with the seven hour compromise you two set up for yourselves. And you have been at the hospital five hours. Your labor probably started long before that but now you're just waiting. Don't worry dad they are both fine. We'll start pushing in an hour or so. She's at eight centimeters right now. How are the contractions?"

"Can't I push now? Nine and ten isn't it practically the same thing. Shit!" She starts cursing again as another contraction hits.

"Not yet Mrs. Grey just a bit longer. Dad? The contractions?" She looks at me.

"Three minutes apart they last about a minute some longer. Is that normal?"

"Yes perfectly fine." She smiles at Lina.

"Normal?! There is nothing fucking normal about this shit. Can't you do something? Why the fuck did I come to a hospital if you're not even going to help me. You're just here to talk. If I wanted to talk I would have done this at home." I've never seen her be so rude towards anyone.

"I'm sorry she's just not her self." I apologize to the doctor.

"Not myself? You're not going to be yourself when I shove a stick up your ass."

"It's fine. I'll be back in half an hour. A nurse will check on her in 15 minutes. I know how worried you two are so don't. We will do everything we can to make this as quick as possible." She practically runs out of the room.

"I'm sorry baby. I wish I could help you somehow. Almost there okay?" She let's go and leans back on the pillows.

"It just hurts."

"I'm sorry. Almost there and we can meet our baby. Just think about that. In a few hours we will hold our boy. I'm so proud of you. Do you know how amazing you are just being here. Doing this. You've taken care of our baby all alone these past few months. But just a little longer."

"What if I can't do this?"

"You can and you will don't say that. You the strongest person I know. I love you so much Lina." I kiss her briefly before resting my forehead against hers. She has to do this. I could never do anything with out her. What if something does happen? I could never take care of the kids without her. I wouldn't want to even live without her.

For the past few years I've been pressured by friends and family to have kids and settle down. They never said anything about a wife. Here I have this woman who's giving me everything and if I lose her none of that means anything. I'll still love my kids but I'll be lost. I don't want to imaging my life with out her. She reaches up touch my face.

"I love you Elliot."

"I know."

"I'm sorry I yelled."

I chuckle lightly. "It's okay. I deserve it for putting you through it."

When the doctor comes an hour later Lina finally gets the relief she needs. "Okay it's time to push. Get some one from pediatrics here."

"Why does he need a doctor. Is something wrong with him?"

"No it's just standard. When you feel the need to push I want you to push. Dad can you hold her leg. Ready?"

"Yes." Lina and I say at the same time. Oh she's not talking to me.

"Chin to chest. And push." Her other leg is being held up by her nurse. She's being told to push then to stop. I asked why she was told to stop, shouldn't she just keep going until it's out?

"She needs to rest. This could take from 10 to forty-five minutes." What the fuck? She's going to have him half in half out for forty-five minutes! She grabs my hand and holds it again.

After a few pushes.

"Almost there baby. You're doing so good. Just a little more. I love you."

"Love you." She mumbles closing her eyes. She starts pushing again.

"I see his head. Wanna take a look dad?" Until this point I've been focused on Lina's face. Without letting her leg or hand go I see. I shouldn't have. Fuck I did this to her. It's my fault she's like this. Shit there's blood. I'm tempted to ask if it's normal but I don't want to scare Lina so I keep my mouth shut. She starts pushing. "Keep going. The heads out no more breaks keep going. Almost Lina."

"Hear that? Almost baby. Look at that." I say when I see his face. "He's almost here baby."

"And he's out." She says as she pulls him the last bit.

There's suddenly a silence in the room when they're wiping him down with a few cloths. He's small so fucking small. He's covered in white stuff but we were told that was normal. They do something to his mouth and the silence is replaced by his cry. I'm half laughing. They wrap him in a blanket and place him on Lina's chest. That has to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She looks down at him crying.

"He's perfect. Hi baby. Happy birthday. Your so handsome. Yes you are. Handsome just like your daddy. Mommy's got you. Don't cry." She whispers to our newborn. I move her hair out of her face and kiss her forehead. Then kiss his. "Look at that baby. It's daddy." If it's physically possible my smile widens even more now know that we finally have our baby with us.

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Only one reviewer actually guessed right as to what happened.(Angela76)

Well what did you think. what did you think of Elliot's POV? I've never been in labor so I didn't want to do it in Lina's POV. But the next chapter will be hers. Unless you think I should do someone else's POV. Thanks for reading Don't forget to review.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. Thanks for all your reviews. **

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There were 19 wires covering my baby the last time. She was alive for about 6 hours. Only one of those hours was spent with me. I almost resent my family for not waking me up earlier but it wasn't there fault I couldn't spend more time with her, it was the medicine. I was too drugged to be awake earlier. That's why I needed to do this naturally. I couldn't afford to spend one minute without him if something went wrong.

As soon as they placed him on my chest I knew that there was no going back. If something happened to him I wouldn't have another baby. I couldn't. He was so small. But instantly I knew he was perfect. My perfect little baby. I couldn't focus on many thing else. There was some talking but it wasn't at me so I didn't care. I only worried about the baby who needed me. Who would always need me. "Mrs. Grey, we have to take him now. We have to get him cleaned and we have to get you to deliver the placenta." She must have sensed my hesitation. "Don't worry ma'am you'll get him back in about an hour. By that time you'll be in your room." Reluctantly I let her take him but not before I kissed him. "Dad the umbilical chord." They handed Elliot a pair of scissors and he cut it with shaky hands. I grabbed his hand and he looked at me smiling. After dealing with the after birth and getting stitched up from the tearing, they wheeled me to a different room where I would spend the rest of the stay. Elliot didn't let go of my hand once.

In the room a nurse came to check on us and coach us through breast feeding. She wanted us to try it when the baby came in. She said she would go check where he is. Finally Elliot and I were alone.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me. He has constantly been moving my hair.

"I'm okay. My butt hurts." He chuckles lightly.

"I bet. That did not look fun. But you are a trooper. No meds or anything. I'm gonna shove that in Christian's face." Elliot and Christian have been getting competitive when it comes to the babies. I know it's dumb but Elliot's enjoying the bonding with his brother so I just let him.

"Don't say it in front of Ana. Anyways, we need a name." He gets a chair bringing it next to my bed.

"I know. I brought the list we had at the house. But my father is going to have the middle name you should pick."

"We'll do it together." I was interrupted by someone rolling in the baby.

"Ready to feed the baby?" I nod my head. I instantly smile when I see his small body being lifted so I can see him. I undo the top of my hospital gown and let Elliot hand me a pillow so I can have him elevated a bit. As soon as they hand him to me I smile. The nurse tells me how to position him so that he can latch on. I feel him start to suck but no one said it would hurt this much. "Are you uncomfortable?" I nod my head. I don't want to give him formula but this is actually painful. "If it is, it's because he's not latching on well. I'm going to get another pillow so that you can be more comfortable. As soon as I come back he will be latch on better and it won't feel so painful." She says walking out. She comes back quickly and hands me another pillow. That definitely helped. He's higher now and the pain is gone. "Better?" I nod my head. "Okay You're going to have him 15 minutes on each side and once you're done you can call me and I'll help you burp him unless you don't need me. It's up to you. I can also stay the whole time."

"I think we got it. Thank you. If we need anything I'll page the nurses."

"You're welcome honey. And congratulations he's a beautiful baby." Like I don't know that. After fifteen minutes, Elliot helps me switch sides by moving my pillows.

"What's it like?" Elliot asks. He's been watching silently the whole time.

"Like he's sucking on my nipple. It felt like someone was pinching at first but now it's not so bad." Once the baby stopped sucking I put him down between my legs while readjusting my gown. Once I finish I hold him again and balance him so I can burp him.

"Doesn't that hurt him?" Elliot asks referring to me patting his back.

"No I'm not hitting him hard it just helps get the air out. I helped Andy a lot when Emily was born. I guess I still remember." I hate to remember but I can't help but compare how big he is compared to Arizona. If this is what a healthy baby looks like then I understand why they said there wasn't anything to save her. I should have taken better care of myself. But I did this time. I've held him for over an hour and he has no wires. He's breathing on his own he's eating through his mouth. Not getting feeding tube. He's perfect. My perfect healthy baby. Our perfect baby. Until that moment I realized that Elliot hasn't had a chance to hold him. Now I feel so selfish. He's been here the entire time making sure I'm comfortable and I'm happy and I've been self-centered. The baby let's out a little burp and we laugh. I look at him then at Elliot. Yup, he's going to be a mini Elliot. At first I thought he had dark hair but after he was cleaned I realized he doesn't. He has blonde hair and his nose is just like Elliot's. He hasn't opened his eyes so we don't know that part yet.

"Elliot can you sit on the end of the bed." I would tell him to sit next to me but I can't scoot over without feeling pain. He sits with his legs on either side of the bed. He looks confused but he'll be fine. "Wanna hold your son?" He looks at me and the baby.

"I... No. I don't think he wants me. He's comfortable with you. He knows you. It's okay." I wave of disappointment washes over me. He doesn't want to hold his baby? Is there something wrong? I look sadly at the bundle in my arms. How could he not want him? "It's not that I don't want to I just... Lina I don't want to hurt him." For the past few hours I've been focused on myself and I never even thought to remember that this is the first time Elliot has dealt with a new born. He held Teddy but only for a few seconds. I haven't thought at all of how he's doing.

"Elliot this is your baby." I hand him to Elliot before he has a chance to respond. "See he's fine. Move you elbow. That way you're supporting his head." When I see that he's become more comfortable I reach for our camera sitting on the bedside table. Elliot's been taking pictures the entire time. I take a picture and the baby fusses with the flash. "He's fine baby don't panic." I run my fingers through Elliot's hair as he watches our newborn. He looks completely fascinated. I lean back and watch the baby fall asleep in Elliot's arms.

"You need to rest. Go to sleep the baby will sleep for at least another hour they said." I would protest saying that I want to stay up and watch him but I know my energy is gone.

"Okay. Maybe you can get something to eat while we're sleeping. You haven't eaten anything all day." He's been at my side all morning and even though I told him it was okay to eat in front of me I knew he felt bad that I wasn't allowed to eat.

"Okay. I'll be back as soon as I can. Lina thank you for giving me my family. I love you." He kissed my lips tenderly and closed the door walking out.

I woke up to someone whispering outside of the room. "...Really quiet. I know you're excited to see mommy but she's tired."

"Why she's tired?"

"Because she had to come to the hospital so the doctor could get the baby out. And sometimes that takes a lot of hard work. But she's really strong so she did it."

"Okay I'll be quiet like in the library. Can I see the baby?"

"Sure Isabelle. But he's sleeping too but you can still meet him. Ready?" I heard them turn the doorknob and walk in. Isabelle's hair was straighten from this morning. She was on Elliot's hip holding on to his neck. As soon as she saw me her eyes lit up and she smiled. She was going to say something but changed her mind and waved. I waved back. She wiggled and Elliot set her down. She climbed on the bed. "Here let me help you but remember be gentle with mommy." She rested her head on my chest while I stroked her hair. Elliot took a picture.

"Are you still sick mommy?"

"A little but I'm getting better because you visited me and I love when you visit me. I missed you."

"What happen to your tummy? It's not moving." Elliot and I chuckle at her.

"It used to move because there was a baby but now he's not in my belly. Do you want to see him?" I'm secretly scared she won't like him because he's still a little red and small but maybe she will. She nods her head. Elliot takes the baby like he's been doing it for years and walks toward us.

"This is your brother Isabelle." She smiles and scrunched up her nose.

"It's so squirmy. And small. I thought he was gonna be big. Can I touch him?" Elliot sits on the bed so she can get a better look.

"He had to be small or else he wouldn't fit in my belly. But now that he's out he can get big. You can touch him. Take off his little glove and he'll hold your hand." She pulls it out gentle and squeals when she sees how small his hands is. She gives him a finger and the baby grasps it.

"Look he likes me. See mommy. I'm a good big sister." I wipe the tear from my face. I've never felt so relieved. She doesn't hate him.

"Sure are." I bite my trembling lip. Elliot mouths if I'm okay. I nod my head. "Why don't you sit crisscross on the bed and you can hold him." She shuffles quickly so she can sit on the bed and I put a pillow on her lap. "That's so he's really comfy Kay?" She nods. I pick up the camera as Elliot puts the baby on Isabelle's lap.

"He's so skinny like a doll. Only he smells weird and my dolls smell like strawberries. Maybe if I give him strawberries he will smell like them too. Ew he farted. I don't want to hold him anymore." She scrunches her nose and I understand why. I don't know if I should be excited or not about changing his first diaper. Luckily Elliot and I got a crash course earlier today so we are good to go. Isabelle wasn't too happy but Elliot and I managed to change our baby's first diaper. I jokingly asked Isabelle to throw it away but she did. She held it at arms length will only two fingers but she did it. When it was time to feed him again Isabelle looked like I just asked her to change the diaper. "Why is he eating your boobies?" Elliot tries to contain his laughter.

"Because mom's boobies have milk for the baby. And he can't drink out of a cup." Elliot says.

"Ok. Are me and daddy going to drink that milk?"

"I wish." Elliot mumbles. Kinky bastard. "I mean no it's just for the baby. We are big so we use cups." She nods. She continues to watch me feed the baby. Then she watches as Elliot burps the baby and sets him down for a nap.

"Can I take a nap too?"

"Yes we should all nap." Says Elliot yawning. I get Elliot a cot from to our nurse and he and Isabelle go to sleep. Isabelle is still sleeping when me and Elliot wake up an hour later.

"We should call everyone. And Isabelle has to go to your moms."

"Hello. Oh your daughter is here. She looks like her dad." Says a nurse when she walks in. Elliot winks at me. Probably from the whole lookalike comment. "I'm here to drop this off it's for the birth certificate. Just fill in the name and parent information. It has to be the biological dad. I'm not saying this to you for any reason other than policy. This is a legal document. I'm not saying he isn't the dad, I say this to every parent please don't be offended. Honestly it's beautiful how in love you two are. But I'll come get this tomorrow or you can call me to get it when you're done." As soon as she leaves I look at Elliot seriously.

"Elliot I have to be honest with you. The father, it's not you. It's Brad Pitt." I say laughing.

"Well then Brad can pay child support." He raises his eyebrows at me.

"He looks like you." I say quietly.

"He's my son, he should." He says filling out the paper work.

"That sounds nice, 'he's my son'". He smiles without looking at me.

"Ok Carrick Grey slash Reid?" I shake my head. "I'm not putting Pitt." He says in a warning tone.

"Just Grey. Once we get Isabelle adopted and we get married we'll all be Grey's." He nods. I pull his chin toward me. He looks at me. "We didn't get married today." I comment sadly. He puts the paper on the table.

"We'll get married soon, in a few weeks. When Mia forgives us for walking out. You will be my wife. Until then we can just lie and say you already are. Mrs. Grey." He pecks my lips.

Half an hour later we finish and turn in the paper work.

"Okay who do we call first?" He asks me. We look at each other thinking, while his phone turns on.

"Mia." We say together. We take a picture of our baby and send it to her with the message:

**Meet Evan Carrick Grey.**

Along with the message Elliot sent then the hospital name an room number. I tried to stay awake for when they arrive but breastfeeding makes me tired.

I was woken up again when someone was knocking on the door. I thought the first people here would be my or Elliot's parents but to my surprise it was my bridesmaid complete in their dress and everything. They cam in quietly and circled around the baby.

"He's so small. It's a miniature Elliot. You know I was ready to kill you when you didn't show up to the wedding but after seeing him I forgive you. How was it?" Says Mia.

I scoffed. "Okay. I went into labor yesterday but I didn't know it. But I'm good now you can hold him. If you want." Mia picks him up. I trust her so I close my eyes enjoy them talking about how cute he is. I feel the weight of someone sitting on the side of the bed. They grab my hand and I can tell it's Elliot by how rough it is. And it's big. He rubs his thumb over my palm.

"I can kick them out if you want." He whispers.

"No it's okay. You can kick everyone out at 8. So in two hours. But I think they deserve a minute since we completely blew them off today." Jason walks in the room sighing.

"I have Mrs. Grey in Miss Reid's hospital room. Yes sir." He says into his sleeve. "Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey would like to speak to you." She rolls her eyes than walks out. I look at Mia.

"Andy drove us before Christian could get a word in. She drives like a maniac. We were going 60 on the streets." I giggle then look at Andy as she shrugs.

"They have a really nice car. Why do you think I have to have a minivan?" She asks sarcastically.

"I know why, you drive live a banshie. And Mark explained it to me when he first bought it. Just know you got her in trouble."

"We wanted to be here first before the parents kick us out. See? No we see him. We have held him and now we can go. We just wanted to see how you were." They each kiss the baby and hug me goodbye. Andy decides to be last. "I just want you to know that he's perfect. He was worth the wait and all the struggle, not just with the birth but with everything." She uses her hand to motion around us. "You deserve a beautiful family more than anyone, and now you have it. Congratulations. Both of you." She wipes a tear from her face then gives me a hug and then Elliot.

"Thanks Andy. For not letting me give up. And for everything else."

"Laters Lina and Elliot. And Evan." She walks out and Elliot looks at me.

"I'm glad you have her. She always seems to care about you. It's nice that you have someone."

"I have you." I tell him.

"You do but she's your best friend." I bite my lip.

"So are you." He looks shocked. "I tell you more than anyone else. You know everything about me. Well most things. If I have a problem or a good day or just want to talk I go to you because I know you'll listen."

"I just want you happy." He says running his hand through his hair.

"You make me happy. Loved, cherished. You make me feel adored. I've never had that before."

"You deserve to feel all those things." He looks so sincere and honest.

"So do you. And I have them all because of you." He doesn't say anything because I know it's hard for him to get a compliment. He's this tough sarcastic guy but I know that he just wants to be needed. And he is. I need him.

As soon as Grace comes in she reads both our charts and goes into doctor mode making sure everything is all right.

"Carrick can you take Elliot to get some food. I told him to go earlier but he won't listen. He hasn't eaten all day and I know he's hungry. And bring some thing for Isabelle please." Elliot gives me a look. I know he doesn't want to leave me but he has to eat sometime. I feel Isabelle poking my shoulder trying to get my attention. "Yes baby."

"I want to eat too please. I didn't eat dinner."

"Sure baby. You can go with daddy and grandpa." she nods her head. I know she is actually really hungry because she never asks for food.

"Have you eaten dear?" Asks Grace putting looking away from the baby.

"No I haven't been told I could so I'm just waiting."

"I'll find out dear. When was the last time you ate?"

"Last night. Thank you Grace." God finally I've been starving for the past few hours. She comes back minutes later saying that I can eat. Elliot agrees to buy me food. Even though I already had the baby I'm strangely having craving for sushi. When everyone leaves it's just Grace my mom and the baby. My mom hands the baby to Grace so she can talk to me.

"I'll give you two a minute alone." Says Grace.

"That ain't necessary. You're practically her second mom now. And you haven't had a chance to hold our grand baby." Says mama taking the chair next to me. Grace stays holding the baby. "How you holding on little girl?" She asks me. Sadly. She's referring to how I'm feeling about Arizona.

"I'm... Okay."

"You don't have to feel guilty. Sometimes things happen but their always for the right reason."

"No I know that. I would have made a terrible mother to her. I wasn't all there. I would have just... She deserved better. I didn't want her to die but I wasn't going to be any good to her." I wouldn't have. I was too out of touch with everything to have been capable to raise her right. I would have loved her, but all I would have thought when I saw her is her father.

"It wasn't your fault."

"That's what everyone says but it kind of was. I didn't do it on purpose. I don't know. I'm okay now. More than okay. I'm happy you're here to meet him." I told my mom. Grace comes back in the room picking up the Evan from the cot.

"It means a lot to Carrick that you named your son after him."

"Elliot is very fond of his dad. It made sense. Grace?" I ask her. Elliot comes in setting some food down on the bedside table.

"Yes dear?"

"You've seen his charts right?" I ask her nervously.

"Yes why?" She looks confused.

"He's okay right? I mean there's nothing wrong with him?"

"He's perfectly healthy. Why do you ask?"

"Just making sure." Elliot's looks at me but I avoid his gaze.

"Well you two. As happy as I am to be here and meet my new grand baby, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow little girl." My mom gives my dad a look and he puts the baby down. He kisses my forehead then gives Elliot a hug. Now it's just my family of four and Grace.

"I should head home too. I'm going to take this little one. Lina, he's perfect. You have a beautiful family son. And I'm sure you will have a beautiful life with this woman, married or not." She hugs me and kisses our baby before Elliot picks up Isabelle who has been sleeping all day to carry to her car.

The cot is next to my bed. Although I'm in pain, I move to sit on the edge of the bed so I can see him. I rest my chin on the edge of the bed. A nurse comes in telling me that I should get more sleep. I'll need it for future days when Evan won't let me sleep. I hate to admit it but it scares me to sleep. I'm afraid to sleep and waking up to him being... Gone. People have said countless times that he's healthy, it's not that I don't trust their word, it's that the situation is familiar.

"You should be resting." Says Elliot walking in.

"I'm okay. I just want to watch him for a little while. I'm not tired." Which of course is a lie and he can tell by my yawn.

"Sleep." He says kissing my neck.

"I don't want to sleep."

"You want to tell me why?" I shake my head. "Mom said he's fine. Lina, he's going to be fine."

"I know what she said." I snap at him.

"He'll be here when you wake up." I look at him.

"You don't know that." I say.

"Lina please look at me." I do as he says. He puts his hands on my face. He uses his thumb to wipe away my tear. "What happened last time, it's done. This time is different. You and me have a perfectly healthy baby here. He will be here in the morning. Baby he'll be awake in a few hours." I rest my head on his chest. He puts his hands under my knees and lifts me so I can cry comfortably on his lap. I burry my head in his chest letting the motions fill me.

His fingertips graze over my back lightly as cried into my hands. Regardless of the physical pain my body was in because of the position all I could think of was my baby. Both of them. How unfair things were, one got to live and the other didn't. He's already been alive longer than my little girl was all her life. And even though I was alone the moment I lost her I have Elliot with me to live without her now. When I calm down some, Elliot sets me on the bed and says he will be back soon. A short time later he and a nurse come in with a few machines. At first it scare me but he smiles at me so I know it will be fine.

I watch as she sets our baby up to some wires which connect to a machine that tracks the heart beat. She nods at Elliot and walks out.

"Better?" He asks after listening to the heart beat of the baby.

"Thank you. For not thinking I'm crazy."

"You gave me a child. I'm just trying to give you peace of mind." That's his way of saying that I am crazy. I motion for him to lay in bed with me and he does.

"I love you. Sorry today wasn't how we planned."

"It was way better. We had a baby today. It turned out better. Mia couldn't have planned a better day for us. I love you Carolina Reid." I drifted off into sleep a few minutes after. And just like Elliot had said, the next morning Evan was just as beautiful and healthy as last night.


	3. Chapter 3

The first week with Evan, was as expected. He would cry we would feed him, change him or just hold him. It wasn't a big deal. Elliot and I thought it was because he just came home that he cried a lot but the following weeks we found out that he's wasn't one of those easy babies. No definitely not one of those. His cry wasn't a soft cry either. He was either sleeping, eating or crying bloody murder. The first week, although the labor still had me sore, was somewhat easy. That's when he least cried. Elliot always got up when I did and as much as I appreciate him always helping it wasn't very smart on our part because that just meant we were exhausted together. And when I wasn't sleeping I was working out.

Isabelle spent two weeks sleeping at other houses. She didn't want to leave Carrick or Grace for a week. They were more than happy to take her. When that week was done Amy's family invited her to Amy's grandparents house in Portland for five days. Then she abandoned us for another four days when Mia and Luke took her to go visit Luke's parents. I almost said no but she was all packed and ready to go when I woke up from my nap. Truth be old Elliot and I were exhausted. But she will be back later tonight and she'll spend her last week of summer with us before having to go back to school. I'm just excited to see my girl.

Since Elliot and I have recently, two days ago, discovered the wonderful invention of breast pumping, we didn't even think of that until then, we actually take turns now. I was able to wake up late while Elliot fed the baby. So now that he's asleep and I'm finally rested, I make my way down stairs. Damn. My house is a mess. I spent most of the morning doing laundry and cleaning. I heard Evan wake up and after feeding him he fell asleep again. Once my house was in order agin, I went up stairs to take a shower. I put some make up on and went downstairs. I checked the calendar and realized that today was Elliot's birthday.

"Elliot. Baby I'll be back soon. I have to buy some groceries." I whispered to him. He mumbled something and pet my head. Just incase he forgot I left him a note.

Andy met me at the mall an hour later.

"Hey. You look better." She says sitting down at a coffee shop. "How's Evan?" She says moving his blanket so she can see him.

"He's fine. Cries non stop but he's cute as a button. It's Elliot's birthday today." I tell her.

"Yea? What are you doing? No birthday sex for him." She asks. I chuckle. I'm sure he would love to have sex and I would too. It would be a nice way to unwind. Only four more weeks.

"I don't know. His family is coming later. But honestly I didn't remember until I called you. I've been tired." She takes Evan from his carrier.

"I can tell. You don't look as tired as you did a few days ago but still. Get him that watch he wanted. He was hinting at it for weeks." Elliot was giving me not so subtle hints that he wanted a Rolex watch lately. I've ignored him so he thought I didn't care but I really wanted him to be surprised.

"I know. I already did. I came to get him some new clothes and some running shoes. Not that he'll use them soon with a fussy baby. We've been holed up in our room lately. But we made a routine so it should be better for a while. And I need new bras."

"I noticed." She says winking at me. After a few more minutes we went out to buy some new clothes. Even though I was no where near my pre-baby body I still wanted to look good for Elliot on his birthday so I bought new skinny jeans and shirt that looked good even though I still had too much flab on my stomach. But I did get some new wedges I could wear. "Have you guys talked about actually getting married?" She asked me on our way to a store.

"Not really. We haven't talked about anything lately besides how tired we are. But at least we haven't fought. He asked if we wanted a nanny to help me when we have to go to work."

"What did you say?" She asked picking out a shirt.

"I said no. Obviously. I'm not comfortable having someone else raise my baby. So I'm going to ask him what he thinks about me taking sometime off work. I didn't know how much work an infant would need. Then there's the house and Isabelle and Elliot. I don't think I can do it all. I know people do but if we have the means to live on one parent I kind of want to take advantage of it. What do you think?"

"You were meant to be a house wife. If that's what you want you should. And Elliot will be happy to have you at home. It will be good for you. It's not like he'll say no. What do you have to talk about?" She says looking at me.

"I don't want him to think I'm taking advantage of him. That I'm some... Gold digger." I avoid looking at her.

"You're not. He knows you're not. You have money of your own. Stop thinking about the past. Worry about now and how the hell you're going to make up to your fiancé for no birthday sex."

"Oral dear best friend. We still have that." I say walking away.

"Whats he like? Because I mean he's a big guy. Not in a bad way, like he's pretty cut. I saw him with his shirt off when we went to swim at your house a few weeks ago and let me just say wow. And that was only half his body. Plus you're so small. How big is he?" I laugh out loud.

"He's good. In every form possible. It hurt at first. It felt like losing your virginity because he was big and it had been a long time but once I got used to it... My friend you are missing out." I say laughing. I really missed our girl days like this. I move the stroller between clothing racks and see Evan is still asleep. Maybe it's the motion. I should walk with him around the street more often.

"No thanks. I have my husband. I was just asking you know." I nod my head. "How's Isabelle dealing with the new baby?"

"She's... Well she's been away for a few weeks so we haven't seen her. I think I saw her like three times in the past two weeks. She's coming home today though. I'm glad, I miss her. When's she's here she likes to be around Evan so I guess that's a good sign. Can we got to a men's store to get Elliot some stuff?"

"Sure." We pick out some plain shirts and new jeans for him. I see a few men at the store. One started hitting on me until he saw I had a baby. I was glad though he was standing way too close. When we walked out of the store I looked at another man. He looked so familiar. Something about his green eyes and dark hair. I should know who he is. I saw him in another store that day. Maybe that's where I knew him from. Andy didn't know him either so I brushed it off.

An hour later I was on my way home. I was surprised that Elliot hadn't called yet. I was even more surprised that he wasn't still sleeping. But then again it was four in the afternoon. After nursing Evan again, I set him down and took the baby monitor with me to find Elliot. I know he's here because Luke's car is here. I found them all in the pool. Isabelle and Mia were sitting on lawn chairs while Luke and Elliot did some laps. "Mommy! I missed you." Isabelle said hugging my legs. I grunted when I picked her up but at least I could do it again. Barely.

"I missed you too baby. Are you gonna be with me now? You left me for so long." I said pouting.

"Yes I'll stay with you now. But you got to play with Evan." I sat down with her on my lap.

"I know, did you have fun?"

"Yes I did. I got to see uncle Luke's mommy and daddy. And I saw Amy for a long time we had like three sleepovers. And I saw her at the wedding too because you told her mommy to go but you didn't get married and she said Evan is so cute."

"Wow you did a lot of stuff. I bet you didn't even miss me or daddy."

"I did too miss you." She said hugging me tighter.

"Did you say happy birthday to daddy yet?" She shouted happy birthday to him and he smiled. He swam over to the edge of the pool closest to me. I walked over and kneeled where there was no water.

"Hey. You look well rested." I commented noticing that his eyes no longer had bags and he wasn't moving at a slow pace like he was a few days ago.

"I should be, I slept for 10 hours."

"Good you deserved it." I say combing his wet hair with my fingers.

"How was he today?" He said looking at Evan in his stroller.

"Good. Quiet, asleep. We should take him out more often." I say.

"We will. I'm going crazy in here too. I wish you would have woken me."

"I tried but you didn't get up. Anyways I had some grocery shopping to do."

"Did you buy food because there isn't any here."

"I did." I said chuckling at how sad he sounds. "Happy birthday." I say softly.

"Thanks baby. Don't I get a kiss?" He says winking at me.

"Yes. But you have to get out. And wear a towel. I'll met you in the kitchen." I say before I walk away. I hear him swim to the stairs where all the towels are. Once in the kitchen I hand him a beer and watch as he drinks it and eyes me lustfully. Four more weeks. He sets the bottle down looking into my eyes. I lick my lips and he steps forward until his chest is barely touching mine. "Happy birthday Elliot." I tell him. He places his hands so he's gripping the counter on either side of me. He leans down to press a kiss on my lips lightly once, twice.

"Thank you." He says before pulling back. That's it? I came inside thinking, hoping we would end up having a make out session and that's all I get?

He places his hands at the nape of my neck and leans in again. His lips are soft against mine. I've missed him. I've spent so much time with him lately but it feels as if we aren't together. Like we are in a zombie-like state. Besides bonding over little moments with Evan, we haven't interacted well. Truth be told I missed this. After what feels like the most excruciatingly slow kiss he pulls back. "I'm really wet." I tell him.

"You can't say that to me. Not for another four weeks." He says not letting me go.

"Your swim trunks got me wet." He looks down to see my jeans that are soaked in the front. We chuckle. "I love you Elliot." I say before reaching up to kiss him again. He doesn't let me go. Since I'm already wet, he just wraps his arms around me. Just as I'm getting comfortable we hear Evan on the monitor waking up. "Enjoy your birthday baby. I got it."

"Are you sure?" I nod my head giving him another long kiss before leaving.

"Hi baby." I tell Evan walking into his room. "You have been quite a handful the last couple of days. Making me and daddy tired. But you are the cutest baby I've ever seen so I forgive you. Let's go say hi to daddy." I tell him after I have changed his diaper. I get him into a onesie and head down to the pool. I sit on the lawn chair watching Elliot try to coax Isabelle into getting into the water. She wasn't having it though.

"Come on Isabelle it's going to be fun."

"No I can't swim." She said.

"Isabelle he's gonna catch you. Just jump in." I told her. She was thinking about it. I set Evan on his stroller and went to where Isabelle was near the edge of the pool. "Give me your hands I'll lower you in the pool, daddy can catch you. He won't let go I promise." She sat with her feet in and put her hands up so I could grab them. Once she let me go she wrapped her arms around Elliot. When I was sure she was okay I went back to my baby. I watched as Elliot attempted to teach her how to swim. It wasn't really working though because she was unwilling to let him go. But at least she was in the water. We've tried to get her to get in all summer and she only went in the hot tub. I called for George to sit next to me. An hour later the water was cold so they had to get out. Mia, who was inside offered to take Isabelle and get her ready while I "fed" Evan. He was asleep I just wanted to have a moment with Elliot.

As he was getting out of the shower in a towel I went behind him to give him a hug. He lifted me on the counter of the bathroom and stood between my legs. I took his towel off before he had a chance to protest. It was his birthday after all.

"Lina we can't." He said grabbing my wrists when they were at his stomach. Fuck he looked good.

"No we can't. But you can." I said before I moved forward and pressed my chest against his. I pulled his head down so I could kiss him and he responded immediately parting his lips. I pushed my tongue into his mouth tasting him. He put his hands on my thighs but I moved them, I can't take him touching me with out needing release. I pulled on his bottom lip with my teeth while moving my hands to his pecks then his abs. As our lips moved my hands moved to his hardening member. I wrapped my hand around him. I started stroking him up and down. I felt his breathing become shallow and my hand moved slowly feeling every inch of him. He pulled his face away from mine and looked down at what my hand was doing. I watched his face as his lips parted and when his hands moved on my body I stopped him again. "You can't touch me. I don't want to be teased and we both know I can't." I said with a shaky breath.

I continued with my hands where I left off. The more shallow his breathing got the harder he got and when I knew he would come I stopped. That really didn't sit well with him. I got off the counter and kissed him before he got upset. I kissed his chin his neck and my lips made their way to his pecks. I swirled my tongue over his left then his right nipple. I pushed him lightly so his back was against the wall and ran my tongue over the skin on his chest. His face looked shocked when I was suddenly on my knees in front of him. "You don't..." He said pulling my head back. Before he could continue the thought I licked his tip. Just as salty as I remember. "Baby it's okay. I don't want you to feel forced-" he lost his train of though when I pull his hips forward and push him into my mouth.

I suck and pull out then move my tongue over his tip. I feel his hand fist into my hair. I cup his balls and move them so he starts groaning. I keep doing this until I feel his hand tighten on my hair. He's close. I remember what he used to do when he sucked on my nipples. I push him in as far as I can, suck then pull out. I blow air around his dick and his grip tightens even more. I hear him curse. Push in, suck, lick and blow. After a few seconds I open my eyes and look up at him. He's closing his eyes and breathing rapidly. "Just like that Lina." I hear him moan.

"Lina I'm coming baby." He says. I start pushing him in and sucking harder, faster. Deeper and watch as he throws his head back before releasing into my mouth. I swallow as I try to push him in more. As he's coming off his high I slow the movements on my mouth until I feel him soften inside me. I kiss him from his base to his tip and stand up. I stand facing him and we are both breathing hard.

I lick my lips. "Happy birthday." I say.

"Thanks."

"You should get dressed. Everyone is downstairs." He nods his head. As I'm walking out he grabs my hand turning me and pressing his lips against my hard.

"I love you." He says. I smile then get out of his reach. Once I close the bedroom door I take a deep breathe to try to calm my body. I miss sex.

"Lina dear are you okay?" Grace asks me as I find her in Evan's room.

"Yea I was just changing. Elliot should be down in a minute. Thank you by the way for taking care of the food today."

"Anytime dear. I know how tired you both must be. Elliot tells me Evan has been fussy." Understatement of the year.

"Yeah I was breast feeding him but now I can use the breast pump so I have Elliot to help me." Maybe that was too much info.

"Did he not help you before? I told him he is just as responsible for the baby as you so he should get a fair share of the work."

"Oh no Grace, he's been amazing but it's just that I would feed the baby and Elliot would stay up with me but now we have a set way to do it. It's fine really he's been a big help." Which is true.

"Well I just came up to tell you both that if you ever need anything, to talk, or just a night off from one or both kids Carrick and I would love to help. The house is very lonely with out Mia." Poor Grace.

"Well thank you. I'm sure in the future I'll take you up on that. And the same goes to you and Carrick. You can always just come over. Isabelle loves you both. So do I. I want my kids to be close to their family. We should head downstairs." She nods her head and I follow her lead. We find everyone in the patio sitting in our outdoor table. I guess that's where we are having dinner. The only person missing now is Elliot.

A short while later he takes the seat next to me and Isabelle. Evan is next to Grace who "doesn't see him enough". Elliot looked really happy during the evening. He drank a few beers and teased Mia endlessly. Of course Mia teased back about his age and how old he was.

"What was it like that you had your first child at age 30 Elliot?" He had a serious face on.

"Well Isabelle is almost six. So it's like I had her when I was 25. That's still before Christian." I never really cared about age like that but when he puts it that ways it's like I "had" Isabelle when I was 21. Makes me feel young.

"So I brought you some home videos of Elliot. I think that since this is the first time you guys spend a birthday together it makes sense to see what he did the last 31 years." Says Mia. I chuckle lightly and we all head inside. She really went all out with this. Starting with a video of him with his birth parents. He wouldn't admit it but he did get a bit emotional. He looked like his parents so much. The perfect combination. Then it went on to the first time he spent Christmas with Christian. They didn't look too happy because they had to share the attention. When he had no front teeth. Then it went on to when he first met Mia. He threw a complete fit saying he didn't want another sibling. Especially not a girl. There was videos of his guitar, judo and Spanish lessons as a kid. Boy Scouts.

Then it went on to his teen years. He had braces. There was a video of Christian walking in with the camera and Elliot was measuring his penis. I had to cover Isabelle's eyes for that. She didn't see though. "Seriously Elliot?" I asked him laughing.

"I has the biggest one in the sixth grade. I was making sure it was getting ready for seventh." He said. The next video was of him looking at his muscles in the mirror. There weren't any. His first middle school dance. His first date that Grace was recording from the car in tears. Him talking on the phone in the living room. And what was apparently his first kiss. It was with some dumb brunette with pigtails. They were at his twelfth birthday party playing spin the bottle. His eighth grade promotion. First day of high school. Winning state football title. And going to league finals in swim. His first speedo. Junior and senior prom. Another dumb bimbo. Then his graduation where he gave the valedictorian speech. I didn't know he was high school valedictorian. When it was over everyone clapped and Elliot just kissed my temple. "The best times of my life have all happened in the past year. Because you you three." He whispers. And I believe him because I couldn't agree more.

"Well as you know Elliot and I met our last year of high school and then we went to Washington state together. We were total pussies and even became roomies, so I have a few more to add to this." Scott his best friend said putting in a new DVD. Oh god. I can only imagine what's on it. It's starts with a video of them a a toga party. Then Scott and Elliot joining some fraternity. I didn't know he was in one. Then it shows them with girls, lots of girls. Most of them have big boobs, long legs, flat stomachs. Everything I'm not right now. I try to ignore that. There are videos of Elliot drunk passing out in the lawn. Threatening Mia's boyfriends. Fighting with Christian.

Then it goes to his graduations. Undergrad and graduate study. It shows articles with Scott narrating about how Grey construction began and how they use special green materials only. Him at coping together. It shows a few girls much like the other ones in the video but none seem to last.

It shows how he went to help overseas with the disaster relief. He backpacked through Europe. Went to Africa, Barbados, Mexico, China, and Australia. Donated toys and money and time and so much more to kids in third world countries. It has pictures of him building his house and dozens of other building. More expanding of his business. Some with Mia and Christian and so many with Grace and Carrick. And more perfectly sculpted girls. Then it goes to his 30th birthday last year with Ana and Christian. And a cropped out Kate. I had to chuckle at that. Then it shows his first picture with Isabelle. She's barely smiling as he holds out some ice cream for her. It has a video of her being afraid of a spider and running to him for help. He picks her up and saves her. Then there's one of me and him at his parents house. I remember taking that picture of us. One of him at thanksgivings with Isabelle. Then us at Christmas and the coping together picture we took. Our New Years kiss.

The last minute of the slide show is of me and him. Our engagement video. Us in an ultrasound appointment. His first Father's Day. The last video is of our little family at the hospital. Isabelle is watching Evan whom I'm carrying, and Elliot is kissing my head. "See the best part is you." He says. I rest my head on his shoulder. Then one last video of when he was born.

As I sit watching Elliot's family leave I notice that there is so much about him that I don't know. That I want to know. I miss so much of his life but he also missed mine. I stand to say good bye to everyone. I walk with Isabelle and carry Evan upstairs for bed. I lay Isabelle in her bed and tuck her in. Evan is due for a feeding.

I sit in our bedroom, undo the bra and he latches on quickly. He has his eyes open and they are just like Elliot's. A perfect clear blue. Elliot walks in and closes the bedroom door. I watch Evan nurse as his eyes start closing slowly. He stops sucking so I touch his cheek and he starts again. Elliot gets under the covers watching me. It used to make me nervous but he does it so often I'm used to it now. I hand the baby to Elliot so he can burp him while I get dressed.

When I get back to our room I pick Evan up from Elliot's chest take him to his room. After turning on the monitor I head back to Elliot and snuggle up to his side. He's asleep but still manages to wrap an arm around me.

Isabelle started school the following week and she was really excited. I was due back in work in a month hut I hadn't talk to Elliot about staying home for a year. After almost a year of having Isabelle in his custody Elliot finally was going to file the paper work to formally adopt her.

God a year? I feel like it's been longer than that.

A month after i gave birth I was planning Isabelle's birthday party when I got a call I wasn't expecting.

"Hello Carolina, this is Jessica. I wanted to know if you could come in to the office today so I can talk to you about something. It's about an old case you had."

"Yea I'll go in about two hours." She thanked me and hung up. I left Evan in the capable hands of Mia as I went to the office. I didn't think much of it because I knew that all my cases would have to be transferred to a new person so I figured they had some questions.

When I was outside the office I quickly saw that it wasn't a little question. Outside the building was police officers and detectives. I tried to walk in the building but I needed Clarence. Jessica came out to walk me inside.

"What's going on?" She gave me a look that said to not ask. When we turned a corner to what was my office I saw there was a body on the floor. It was covered with some fabric so I couldn't see who it was. Honestly I was glad to not see. I thought we were going to my office but we ended up in a different room. She closed the door and asked me to take a seat. She sat in front of me taking a few deep breathes.

"Someone broke in yesterday. We don't know who. They killed the guy working in the security office." Our office had cameras because this was a government building and we had private client information. "It wasn't just some in the moment thing because they had to find out how to get in the building and once in the security room they wiped out all the security footage for the past month. So we think that he's been here for the past month."

"What does this have to do with me, I haven't been here for longer than that." I said shifting in my seat.

"Once he was inside he made his was to a few offices. He took a few files for things here and there nothing of importance. It looks like he went in order of how the offices are arranged. Your office was half way through the second floor. After yours there is no trace of him going in or out to the other offices."

"Okay so he was looking for me? Or a client that I had?" I ask.

"I don't know. All I know. All they have told me is that he, we think it's a he, was looking through your things. Is there anything there? Anyone who was hostile towards you?" Plenty. I work for with abused, neglected kids all day. Most parents aren't fans of me.

"Not particularly no. Why do you think it's a man?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Because he strangled the security guy. There were also some signs of torture in the victim. Lina. You have to be careful. Whoever this guy is, I personally, from what I've been told by the police, I think he's after one of your clients. If he didn't find anything about them today. He definitely found out information about you. He'll find them or he'll look for you." She said holding my hands.

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**So I've had writers block on he what to write next and I thought now is a good time to bring in some danger into Lina and Elliot's life. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed.**


	4. Chapter 4

Damn, four weeks off really causes a lot of problems. A few guys quit because the guy in charge was an ass, I don't blame them he was. But now it's my fucking problem because I have to hire new people. The fucking raining causing us to shut down early didn't help much. Now we are four days behind on a house we have to build. And the guy I left in charge was new so I didn't really know what he would be like. Turns out he's a fucking dick and didn't do any paper work and he's behind on paying people for one of my sites. Most of them have worked for me for years so now that I'm back they know I'll fix this shot but that takes time away from helping Lina. At least it gets me home earlier. After getting all the paper work into my car I drive home.

I've been texting her as much as I can but I've had things to deal with. I don't want her to think that I only helped because I wasn't working. I know I have to put in my fair share of the kids especially when she goes back to work. I'll still be working longer hours than her but she keeps our family afloat so I can't say she doesn't do anything. She does everything. She wakes up with me to make me breakfast, feeds the baby, get Isabelle dressed and in school, takes care of the house, and the dog. Fuck she does so much and doesn't complain. I know she wants to but she doesn't because she feels bad that I spend all day working.

At least I know when I get home that she'll be there and everything will be taken care of. I arrive at the house and take my boots off before getting in, I know she'll be pissed if I get the carpet dirty. I make my way inside and see that everything is quiet. Isabelle is in the kitchen cutting up bananas with a plastic knife and Evan is in his rocker sleeping peacefully. "Hi baby." I say walking up to her.

"Hi daddy. Look I'm making a snack for later. I can share if you want some." She shows me her plate which has some soft fruit in it.

"Sure baby thanks. Do you know where your mommy is?"

"She got some new shirts because Evan got her shirt dirty." She says matter of fact. I nod my head before placing a kiss to her head and heading to our room. I see her coming down the stairs looking at her phone. Damn she looks good. She's wearing some shorts and one of my loose t shirts. She has her appointment sometime next week and it couldn't come and sooner my balls feel like they weigh a million pounds. She's been hiding her body from me but I know she wants to get back in shape. I haven't seen her naked in weeks. Damn this is the longest I've gone without sex since I first had sex. She's looking at her phone so she doesn't even see me when she walks by.

"Isabelle are you almost done?"

"Yes can I give daddy some?" She says picking up her bowl of fruit.

"Sure when he gets here. Do you want to save him a plate?"

"He's right there silly." She turns around surprised to see me. Usually she would be happy but right now I can't tell. She smiles but it's not her usual I'm-happy-to-see-you smile. It's more of what she does when somethings wrong.

"When did you get here?"

"What no i missed you? Or I love you?" What the hell is wrong.

"Oh... You just surprised me that's all." She puts her phone away and comes to greet me. She stands with her hands on my chest looking up at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Did you want dinner?" She asks stepping on her toes. I reach down to kiss her briefly.

"Sure." I figured if she wants to talk about something it will be after dinner. "Aren't you going to eat with us?" She been in the kitchen for a few minutes while Isabelle and I wait for her to join us.

"Not now. Evan's hungry. I'm gonna feed him. Did you need something?" She hasn't looked at me.

"For my wife to tell me what's bothering her." She looks down at our son in her arms. She sighs.

"Later. I have to feed him. I'll be back in a little bit." She walks up stairs without telling me anything. Isabelle spends dinner talking about school and I'm not really paying attention. I just nod every once in a while. When we're finished I pick up our plates and she goes into her room to finish some homework. I walk into my office and start figuring how to fix all the shit that happened while I was on vacation.

Lina knocks on the door before coming in and sitting in the chair in front of me. "How was work?" She asks quietly.

"Fine. How was your day?" Are we really going to make small talk now?

"Um... Okay. I went for a walk with George when it wasn't raining."

"Yeah I haven't taken him out in a few days." She nods her head. We sit in silence just looking at each other. Just as I'm about to say something she walks toward me and straddles me. Her arms go around my neck and she hides her face in my neck.

"Are you going to work late today?" She mumbles into my neck. I know I do have things to do but I don't want to do it now. I'd rather just stay like this with her.

"No."

"Okay." She pulls back to look at me and sits on my legs. "I'll let you finish and I'll see you when you're done. I love you." She kisses me briefly before getting out.

What the hell? Fuck it I can finish this tomorrow. I put everything away and find her eating in the kitchen. I move her so she's on my lap and she can still eat. "When's your next appointment?" I know when it is but I can't stand this silence.

"On Monday. It's for me and Evan. Are you going?"

"Yea but I can't take the entire day." I say taking a bite of her food.

"That's okay. It's during your lunch so just take a long lunch and you'll be back at work." She says. "So, today, you can't get mad. I need to you to stay calm."

"We'll see." I say drinking her soda. She has to get up to get more food since I practically ate everything. She comes back and sits on my lap again before continuing to eat.

"Thank you for eating my food." She says sarcastically. I know she doesn't really mind. "Any ways, my boss called me and told me I had to go in and talk to her." I know Lina wanted to go back to work after the baby but she really doesn't have to. I haven't talked to her about it yet but I'm thinking about it.

I know Christian and Ana got in a fight because of that. They still argue about it and even though Teddy is four months old Ana still hasn't gone back and Christian is telling her not to. Lina would just tell me to fuck off if I try to make her do something she doesn't want to which is why I haven't said anything, yet. But so far I know she'll be here at home at least another month. I don't give a shit what her boss wants she isn't working till then.

"About what?" She gives me a look.

"Shhh just let me talk. Well when I got there turns out someone had broken in. They were looking for something. Whatever hey were looking for was in my office. Jessica thinks that it was probably information on a client I had. The guy who went in had to have messed with the security feed and they kind of... They killed the guy who was working in the security office. Anyways, she just told me that I should be careful. I just didn't know how to tell you earlier. I don't want you to worry." She takes a bite as if this is just some normal conversation. Is she serious?

"You don't want me to worry? Lina they could be looking for you. How the fuck do I stay calm with this shit happening?" I tighten my grip on he leg. She puts her hand on my cheek.

"Because it's not a big deal. I mean it could be but I don't think so."

"If it's not a big fucking deal, why were you so quiet earlier. You don't get like that for no reason."

"Elliot." She drags out my name. "It's just not and if it is then we'll deal with it then but I think everything is going to be fine. Please don't worry too much. I only told you this because I don't want to keep it from you. And some detectives are going to come by later, probably tomorrow actually, to see if I can find out what he took." She is trying to act casual about what's happening but this is serious.

"Lina! It does matter. Why can't you see that? Someone could have hurt you. Hell they might have been looking for you for all we know and you don't give..." I stopped and lowered my voice. I didn't need Isabelle to freak out. "You don't worry about your safety and you should. Where was Evan when you went? Did you take him?" Fucking perfect, not only does she not give a damn about her safety but she puts him in danger.

"What? Why are you asking?" She stands up to look at me. She's mad at me? She's the one who's being irresponsible here.

"Because I want to know if you took my son to a fucking murder scene." I say standing up.

"It's not like I knew it was a murder scene. I went because someone asked me to. And so what if I did. There were dozens of police officers." She's really fucking asking for it. I walk away to our bedroom knowing she'll follow me. "Elliot where the hell are you going? Are you seriously just going to ignore me?" She says. I close our bedroom door knowing this room is practically sound proof.

"No I'm not ignoring you. I'm thinking about my kids. I worry about them when you take one of them to a murder scene. I don't give one shit if there is secret service men there. You shouldn't have taken him. That could have been dangerous. As soon as you got there and saw all those police officers you should have called me. You should have left and called Jessica to fuck off. Tell her you are on leave and until you start working again you don't have to answer to her." I practically shout.

"Your being so dramatic about this. It's not a big deal. You don't even know what happened." Fuck do I have to spell it out for her. She's been so... Stupid. I honestly can't take this. She just didn't think. She's usually really smart but how could she just do something so stupid?

"It is a big deal I don't want my son going into a dangerous situation. Just because you don't give a fuck about your safety doesn't mean you should be an idiot and take Evan into the same situations. You can't be doing shit like that. I'm not going to just sit here and let you risk his life because you don't give a shit!" She steps back to look at me.

"Is that what you think?" She asks quietly.

"Yes Lina that's what I fucking think. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." God she's frustrating. I pull on my hair before walking into the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe when I'm out she'll be more logical.

I heard that after birth woman get crazy. That's probably what been going on with her. I know she's been all emotional. Happy one minute and the next she won't stop crying. Last week we were shopping and everything was fine but when she went to a store to buy a shirt her mood changed. She was practically dragging us all home. When we got home she fed the baby then locked herself in our room. She said she wanted to be alone. Another time was when I left my boots in the living room she went ballistic. She was yelling at me for not being able to do something as small as picking up my shoes. After a ten minute lecture I put them away and then I found her crying wiping off the mud from the carpet. Okay that was my fault but I didn't need a fucking lecture. All she had to do was tell me that I needed to pick them up.

Once I was out of the shower I found her tucking in Isabelle. I didn't want to interrupt so I just went to do the gym. Fuck I really have to come here more often. I met up with Scott who usually spots me during weights.

"How's the baby mama?" I shake my head. "Is it the not sex thing? How long till you can screw her again or are you going make sweet desperate love to her?" He saying laughing. I ignore him. I finish my set then spot him.

"She's pissed me off today. Don't talk a both her like that. I'm mad but she's still my wife."

"You know I'm just messing with you. I like her. Anyways what did she do?" He starts his set. I tell him what happened including our conversation when I got home. He doesn't say anything, not that he can he's bout to pass out. Fucker is always trying to outdo me. "So why is she mad?"

"Because she thinks I'm worrying too much. But she's just doesn't worry enough. Not about this anyways. Aren't I right about this?" I ask him.

"No I think you are. Just don't tell her that. Women don't like to admit when their man is right. Just wait it out." He's right if I just let her come to it she'll see that I'm right.

"Yea I'm just, hold on its the brother. What's up Christian?"

"Where are you?"

"At the gym with Scott." He tells me about some shit that's going on with Ana so I invite him over. Twenty minutes later he shows up. "Look at that Scotty the baby bro has blessed us with his presence." I say when he arrives. He looks pissed as hell. Maybe I should have listened to what he was saying.

"Shut up Elliot."

"Alright bro tell me what's up." I tell him joining him in the treadmill even though I already ran.

"She being unreasonable. I think she shouldn't get back to work and she's insisting that she can do it. Is it so wrong to want my wife to stay home with our kid. So many parents would love to be able to stay home and watch their kids grow up but instead she wants to work. I don't know what the fuck she does. It's not like we are struggling." Oh brother, when he didn't have Ana he would spend money on some useless shit just because he could. And he ends up with the only woman, well besides Lina, that doesn't give a shit about material things.

"I'm sure she knows that but Ana just graduated. People don't go to college and think about how great it will be to have a piece of paper. She didn't go to college to sit at home and be Betty Crocker." I hear Scott laugh next to us.

"You are both idiots. You're trying to control your women by telling them what to do. Instead you should be convincing them of why you're right. If you don't want her to work you have to show her why staying home is better. Just because she has a kid doesn't mean all she does is watch him. And he's a baby doesn't he sleep all day anyways?" He's right. And Ana has a damn nanny.

"You should fire your nanny and send Gail on a vacation Ana won't leave the baby then. And you sure as fuck aren't going to stop working. Just sell SIP." I suggest. Problem fixed. Scott's a fucking genius I don't know why Christian and I didn't think of this shit sooner.

"That's actually the smartest thing you have ever said Scott. I knew you graduated for a reason. I don't want to fire her though. I'll just send them both next week on vacation. I'm thinking two weeks. Fuck I'll even give Taylor the time off. Maybe I can get him to take Sophie too. Just to make sure they don't come back suddenly." Bastard that was my idea. "Have you talked to grandpa lately?"

"Yea he called me the other day so I could take his car to the shop why," our 78 year old grandpa lives with our grandma Sydney in a house close to my moms. They have lived there since they got married 56 years ago.

"How'd he sound. Mom said he was okay but you know how she is with them. She tries to downplay it." Christian has always been close to grandpa Theodore, so I know it's been hard on him seeing him age. To be honest when it comes to Christian we all downplay it for his sake. Even Ana caught on a while back and she tries to steer off that subject.

"He looked good. Just tired said he wasn't getting enough sleep. I was gonna get a new bed for him this weekend if you want to come and he wants to buy Isabelle a gift for her birthday. If you want to join us. Mia's coming." I tell him. He nods his head so I know he'll be there. Lately he doesn't miss an opportunity to be with grandpa. I know he's worried about living without him. I am too but Christian doesn't handle people leaving him well. I already had my talk with grandpa about what he wants when he's gone. I think I'm better at that. I'm not so cold hearted bastard but grandpa hasn't been like he was before. I can't really explain it but it's been difficult. He's getting old.

"He's stubborn. Maybe we should get them a nurse."

"Christian he doesn't want that. You know he would hate it and bitch non stop about it." Mom did get him a nurse a few years back but he fired her and ignored mom for days. It had something to do with having strangers in his house.

"I'll talk to him about it."

"Okay." I figured I shouldn't push the subject after. "Hey Christian I have to ask. What's sex like now? I mean is it bad after she had the baby?" I ask him when we are changing in the locker room.

"It's never bad. It was different but after six weeks I was ready to blow."

"Not that it matters because your wife is mad at you." Says Scott. Fuck he's right. I know he is. She better get fucking over it by Monday.

"She'll get over it."

"Better hope so." He says picking. Up his things.

"I'll see you guys later." He walks away and Christian and I are left alone.

"I have to go. I need to apologize to Ana or else I won't get any sex and to be honest it's been too long." He says.

"What a whole two hours?" I say laughing. He joins in and I know that I'm right. Those two fuck so much I don't know how she isn't pregnant yet.

Im not looking forward to going home for once. I don't want to fight with her but she needs to know that I'm not okay with what she did. I guess leaving wasn't the best idea but I wasn't in the mood to talk with her. Once I take a shower and change I'll look for her. She's probably downstairs doing laundry or something because the baby monitor isn't here. When I finish I walk into Evans room and I find her asleep in the rocker with him in her arms. God she's beautiful. She's frustrating and crazy but beautiful. She looks tired. She always looks tired lately. She also isn't as happy and energetic as she was before. That's what happens when she's stuck inside all day.

The lights are dimmed and she has her hand on his back. Shit he really does look like me. Even his eyes are just like mine. He has the same freckle over his eye that Lina points out so often. There is nothing about him that resembles Lina. I should wake her.

I decide to take Evan and set him in his crib. I grab one of the blankets in the closet that is too big for him and place it over her. She'll wake up soon and come to bed. I just can't let her think I'm not mad at her.

The next morning I wake up alone. Lina is in the kitchen making me breakfast for me at four am. She looks exhausted. She can sleep in tomorrow since I will be here. She sits next to me just like she does every morning but she stays quiet. She rests her head on her arm and I watch as she closes her eyes. I take my plate to the sink and get my things in the car. She must have fallen asleep in the kitchen. "Lina. I'm gonna go. Go to bed." She takes a deep breathe and stands up. "Laters." No definitely not caving this time. I can tell she's hurt but she'll get over it.

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**So I don't know what to write. Or I know what to write but I can't seem to put it onto word. Hopefully I'll figure it out soon. I might do a few filler chapters just to keep updating what do you think? Thanks for reading. And reviewing. **


	5. Chapter 5

Things didn't go my way. After four days Lina and I are still in the same spot as we were a few days ago when we got into a fight. I've tried to get her to talk to me but she's been quiet. And she's been avoiding everyone. Everyone except the kids and me on occasion. But mostly she only talks to me when I ask her something. She's been different. I don't want to ask her what's wrong because she just doesn't want to talk to me. I'm starting to think I should just cave into what she wants even though I have no idea what it is. Mom noticed it too and she told me she asked Lina's doctor to ask her about it so that if it's something serious we can help her.

She has her appointment today and I'm not sure I'm still invited. I figured she might be mad but I want to make sure they are both okay.

I get to our house an hour early so I wouldn't miss her. She's still here because all of our cars are here. I walk in and she is playing some music. The house is spotless as usual besides the dishes in the sink. I go to our bedroom and find Evan surrounded by pillows on the bed. He's dressed in a full baby suit with small gloves. Lina says he has to wear them because his nails are too long. She asked me to cut them because she was too scared a few days ago but I forgot. I would do it now but he's asleep. Later today I'll do it. I walk into the bathroom and in the closet and change my clothes. The shower turns off. I change into some jeans and a t shirt in black because I know she likes when I wear that color. I put on some clean shoes and get out a jacket.

Before I know it Lina walks naked in the closet. She sees me and let's out a scream. "What are you doing in here? Get out!" She grabs a robe placing it over her body.

"I was getting dressed. I'm sorry I scared you." I put my hands up in surrender and take a step toward her. She steps back holding the robe tighter.

"I said get out!" She screams again. Evan starts whimpering. He must have woken from her screams. "See what you made me do. Damn it Elliot." She gets her robe on before I have a chance to take a peek and walks to the crying baby. "Shh it's okay baby. I'm sorry." She starts rocking him and his cries quiet down.

"Why don't I take him while you finish changing?" I say waking towards them.

"I can take care of my own son." She snaps at me. Fuck I was just trying to help. She looks at the clock. She goes to where his bag is to get him his bottle. She takes a seat on the small couch in our room and starts to feed him.

"Lina I can do that. I just want to help." I say cautiously. She looks down at the baby sucking peacefully then at me. She hands me the baby and watches me for a few seconds before going to change.

Ever since our argument I haven't really been with Evan. He still cries a lot so Lina takes care of him.

* * *

"Elliot where's Lina?" My mom asks. We are having our usual Sunday lunch and Lina has been missing since we got here.

"I don't know. She has Evan. She's probably in my old room he's been tired lately. He doesn't sleep well so Lina is up most of the night trying to get him to sleep." Lina has recently thought that he shouldn't get accustomed to being held all the time. So now she only does it when he's eating or he really can't fall asleep.

"What are you doing?"

"Right now I am talking to my beautiful mother." I say pulling her in my arms. I know that's not what she's asking.

"Elliot she's exhausted. I hope you're not just sitting around letting her go insane. He's your son too."

"I know but she's upset so shes been avoiding me lately. And when I try to tell her to give him to me she refuses. I know she's tired. I know she hasn't slept in over a week but I can't help her because she won't fucking let me." I take a deep breath. "Sorry I don't mean to yell at you. It's just frustrating when you pin this on me. I'm trying to help but I can't because she won't let me." I say before I hug her again. She asks me to join her outside where we can talk comfortably.

"What happened? Why is she upset?" My mom already knew that they called Lina in to do a run through of her office because I called my dad.

"Well I told her that it was irresponsible for her to take Evan there. She tried to justify it saying it was safe and she didn't know but that doesn't mean I want him in that situation. As soon as she saw the police she should have drove away or called me. Both really. I said that she's an idiot for thinking that it's okay! For not caring about his safety. And it's not just that but lately she's been so emotional and I know woman have that baby blues shit after birth but it's like all she fucking does is yell and cry. I don't understand her." I say running my fingers through my hair. I tell her about the shopping incident and how Lina isolated herself for hours.

"Oh Elliot. Things have changed so much for her. It's what new mothers go through. They feel insecure and unloved. She probably feels the same way. And you sure aren't help by tell her those things you said."

"Why would she feel that way though. I haven't done anything that makes her feel like I don't love her."

"It's not necessarily that you do something. Maybe you aren't doing something." What the hell does that mean. "You should show her. I've seen new moms who often feel like their partners don't want them or don't love them. It's not that he does something to signify that but maybe they just need to work on their relationship. They date each other." She says winking at me.

"Date each other? We're engaged why the fuck do we need to date?" This is stupid.

"Because it takes you back to times when it was just you two."

"It's never been just us to mom. We didn't even date really we went from friends to moving in basically."

"Well you should date now. Just take her out to dinner or the movies. Spend time with her. She needs reassurance that you love her Elliot."

"I can't because she won't talk to me."

"What did you say?" She asks looking at me.

"All I said was that she was being irresponsible and she should care more about his safety." She smiles at me and takes my hands.

"She what?"

"I already told you. I just told you she was... Being..." Shit. I guess I did say that. No wonder she's upset.

"You hurt her feelings dear. She doesn't need that. She needs you to be supportive and affectionate. Don't pressure her into being intimate but show her you care."

* * *

She was right. She usually is. Now what do I do? I was going to get her some flowers but I always do that when she's mad. She always forgives me but I want more than forgiveness. I want her to be her old self. Not that I don't love her now, but I think she's sad all the time. Sometimes I eavesdrop on her when she's with Evan and Isabelle and she's happy with them. I want to have her be happy with me again. I miss her. I miss my wife.

She still hasn't come out of the bathroom. I'm tempted to knock but she'll just become more and more upset and I don't need that for her. Ten minutes later I knock. "Lina. Are you okay? I don't want to rush you but you still have the check up soon." She doesn't respond. "Lina can you just make some sort of noise so I know you're okay in there." I hear the door knob rattle and she opens the door. To my surprise she's crying.

"Why are you here?" She asks quietly.

"I thought you had a doctor's appointment today." I tell her.

"I do." She starts playing with her ring.

"Am I not allowed to go anymore?"

"You still can, I guess. We have to leave soon." I nod my head. I offer to carry Evan but she declines. Instead I help carry his diaper bag. Fuck this is huge. Why the fuck does he need all this shit. I can fit two Evans in his bag, maybe three.

I clear my throat when we stop at a light. "So my mom wants to have the kids over on Friday." She didn't really say that but I know she wouldn't mind.

"Oh she didn't tell me anything. She called today." She looks out the window.

"Well yeah. Is that okay that they spend the night with her?" I look at her but she seems so unemotional.

"If she wants." She looks at me briefly before turning away.

"Well if she's going to have them I thought you and I could go out. You know like have a date night."

"If that's what you want." She shrugs.

"I like that shirt on you. Is it new?" She really does look nice.

"You bought it for me a few months ago." I'm an idiot. I should pay attention to her more.

"What happened with the detective the other day?" I ask trying to make conversation.

"Um they did a whole list of paper and client names that they found. I have to go over it and compare it to my backup files to see if anything is missing." I nod my head.

"Do the know who it was?" She rolls her eyes at me.

"Obviously not. They have a possible witness but he may be useless. Anyways they are doing a sketch of the suspect. Well they already did and they are suppose to email it to me either today or tomorrow."

"Good because that way we can ..." Do what there's nothing I can fucking do unless I'm with her all the time and she won't even allow that. "Well maybe we can help somehow."

After parking I beat her to get Evan so she'll at least not be so tired. I keep him in his car seat since he's already asleep. She signs in and we wait quietly. They call us in a few minutes later.

"Mr. And Mrs. Grey how's everything going?" The doctor says as soon as she walks in.

"We're okay." Lina says sadly. They check on Evan first. Luckily he's fine. He's progressing normally and he has to have some shots in a few weeks so we just go over that.

"Now, how is mom adjusting?" Not well I think to my self.

"I'm doing okay. He isn't a very good sleeper so I'm tired a lot." She says while they take her pressure.

"That's normal. Usually around the second month that's when babies cry the most so it may calm down in a bit." Good. "Now there is something we have to talk about. It's not mandatory but I like to do it. I like to talk to the moms about how they're feeling because there is a lot of postpartum depression. Do you mind?" She shakes her head. "Will dad be staying or ..."

"He can stay." Thank fuck.

"Okay it's nothing medical just to see how you are." She writes down somethings on her paper. "How have you been feeling? Okay and fine are not feelings." She says smiling.

"Um I guess tired most of the time." She looks down.

"Most of the time? Well when you're not tired what are you doing?" She smiles slightly.

"Playing with my kids. They make me... Happy." The doctor smiles at her. And writes it down.

"What about with your husband. Are you happy when you're with him?"

"Um... Yeah. He's works a lot so..." No, what she wanted to say was no. A month ago she would have said yes but now she's hesitating and saying no.

"Does it bother you that he works a lot?" She asks looking at me.

"No. I like that he works a lot. I mean I don't like that he's gone a lot but he likes his job and it makes him happy. That's all I want for him."

"What about with the kids, how is he with them?"

"He's great. He's an amazing father and husband, he is."

"So what's wrong? Because from how you're talking and your body language I think there is something wrong and he can tell too." She says pointing at me. I guess I wasn't keeping a straight face.

"We got into an argument and I was hurt by what he said. That's all. Usually we are fine it's just been these last couple of days."

"Lina," I say but the doctor puts her hand up to silence me.

"What did he say to you?" She asks. Fuck now she's going to think I am abusing her or something.

"He said I was being an irresponsible mother. That I didn't care about Evan's safety." I'm an ass.

"Elliot is that what you said?" I can't lie to her.

"Yes but I was mad. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Lina." What the fuck can I say?

"Do you feel like Lina is an unfit mother?" The doctor asks me.

"No she's amazing I was upset and tired. It was a long day." Now would be a good time to start begging but it won't matter.

"You're not the only one who's tired Elliot. Just because I'm home all day doesn't mean I'm sleeping all day." She says looking at me for the first time.

"I know that. I never said that." I tell her.

"But you are still moving around. Have you had trouble getting up in the morning, discouraged?" She asks looking intently at Lina.

"I mean I want to sleep more but I know that I can't. I really don't think I'm depressed. I'm sure everyone says that but I'm fine. I mean I'm frustrated with myself and I do take it out on Elliot because I've been at home so long I have no one else to take it out on. But he really was being... A jerk the other day." She says looking up at the doctor.

"What time do you usually wake up?" She asks writing some notes down.

"I wake up at three to make Elliot breakfast and Evan eats at around four. So I'm awake for about two hours. Then I wake up again at seven to get Isabelle ready for school. Evan eats around nine so I'm awake at seven. I usually do some house work or run some errands. I feed the baby. I take a nap around three maybe two o'clock for an hour. I make dinner, pick Isabelle up and help her with her homework. When Elliot's home we eat dinner as a family, I feed Evan, and I stay up until about ten or eleven. I wait for Evan to eat before going to bed. Some times I exercise before bed. And he wakes up around two for a diaper change or just likes being held. He doesn't sleep through the night. Sorry that wasn't what you're asking." She looks embarrassed. She really has her shit together. I didn't know that crap.

"So you're basically getting five or six hours of sleep? You should sleep eight. Especially because you're breast-feeding. Dad I'm going to need you to watch her." I nod my head. "What about time for yourself. What do you do for yourself?"

"Oh I just exercise. I don't need too much time. There are more important thing." She says quietly.

"Many times postpartum happens months after birth. The best thing is prevention. I'm going to ask you to take maybe some time to yourself. Maybe you can go out with some friends or just get out of your house. Can you do that?"

"She can." I say without thinking. Well she can, I'll make sure of it.

"Good. From what I can tell, obviously this isn't my area of study but if you continue to neglect yourself you'll end up with severe symptoms of postpartum and that could be dangerous. Not just for you but for your baby, your husband and your daughter. I've seen families fall apart and I wouldn't like for you to be another." The entire time I've been sitting in a chair in the corner and now I'm wishing that I was closer to her. "Well now that we've done that, I'm going to take a look at your sutures to see if you've healed. So I'll leave this gown so you can change. I'll be back in a few minutes." She says walking out. Lina looks at me biting her lip.

"Do you mind?" I would argue about how I've probably seem her body naked just as much as she has but I'm not going to argue. I take Evan and stand outside. I see the doctor go in but I rather just wait.

"Mom what are you doing friday?" I ask once she answers.

"Hello Elliot. No I'm fine thank you for asking." She says sarcastically.

"Sorry. Hi mother how are you?" I'm sure she'll just hang up on me if I don't greet her properly.

"I'm doing well thank you for asking. What did you need Elliot?" She laughs.

"Well if you're not busy can you watch the kids on Friday for a few hours. Please mom. Lina is starting to hate me and I need you." I hear her laugh on the other end.

"Sure. Why don't you just leave them over night. I'm sure Lina could use a break from everything. Should I pick them up at five?"

"Yeah. Oh and if Lina asks I didn't ask you to, you offered. Thanks mom I have to go." I hang up before she can yell at me. Perfect timing because Lina walks out. "How'd it go?" I ask her.

"I'm fine. I'm all healed up." She says awkwardly. I nod my head.

"Good. Do you want to get some lunch with me?" Obviously with me. Fuck I haven't felt this uncomfortable with a girl since high school. It's like I'm talking to a stranger.

"Sure. If you have time."

"I always have time for you." I see her smile slightly. She walks I front of me and I notice that she's walking a lot slower that usual. Her head is down. She never used to walk like this. I know from watching her sisters that their mom was very strict about their posture. Even when I first met her she didn't walk like that. Is this what I'm doing to her? I'm making her depressed. If something happens to her it would me my fault. Why the fuck did I listen to Scott, there's a fucking reason he isn't married. Besides the fact that he can't commit, he's always been a dick to his girlfriends. He's constantly trying to control them. Fuck he's just like Christian, no wonder they get along. I can't be treating Lina like that. She's not the kind of person to just cave into someone's demands, she's more likely to stop talking to them or fight back. The fact that she's not fighting me now shows how tired she is emotionally, of me. Sure he's right in the sense that I shouldn't cave either but I have to be nicer to her or she'll just hate me, kind of like she does now. She shouldn't be like this because of me.

"Elliot?" She says waving a hand in my face. How did we get to the car so fast.

"Yes?"

"Where are we going?"

"Wherever you want."

"I don't really have anything in mind. So what ever you want." She puts Evans bag in the back while I strap him in. I finish just in time to open her door for her. I haven't done that in a while. It's not that I don't want to it's because usually she gets in the car while I fix his seat.

We ended up at a Mexican restaurant. Once our food came she ate a few bites then pushed her plate away.

"Did you not like it?"

"No it was good I'm just not hungry." This better not be part of her diet. Lately she's been eating a little so she can lose weight. Not that she needs to.

"You should eat. I don't want you hungry later." She chuckled.

"Ok Christian." She takes another bite and I roll my eyes at her despite the seriousness. "I ate before you got home. So I wasn't hungry to begin with." She says rocking the carrier in the seat next to her.

"Then why did you agree to come?"

"Because I know you would be hungry and taking me home, then getting some food would take up some of your time." Why is she acting like this? It's like she thinks I'm only with her because I have to. "And I know you made the effort to get out of work for us. So I should make an effort to be with you. To not ignore you so much." She moves her food around.

"If you didn't want to come Lina, you should have just said something." I say more harshly than I intended to.

"We've been fighting too much. I mean it's only been a few days but I'm exhausted from it. I just want to get over this and move on. I mean we have to right?"

"We will. We're just being stubborn both of us. I was an ass and you... I was an ass." Was I really just going to insult her again.

"Maybe we can talk more tonight. I don't want to do this here. We can talk in private later." Shit.

"Well I have to stay late today. I took a three hour lunch and I have some deadlines I can't miss. With the three weeks I took off I left some idiot in charge and he fucked up."

"Ok well tomorrow or sometime this week."

"Of course. Are you ready to go?" She nods and stands up. Once we get to the house the tension is not as bad as when we were leaving to the doctors. It still is awkward but at least she's talking to me. I help get Evan inside and she walks to the car with me as I leave. "I'll see you tonight Lina."

"I'll wait up for you." She says to me.

"I won't be that late probably till six or seven. I have a lot of work to do and if I bring it home Isabelle distracts me." She smiles.

"I know. It's okay. Just be safe."

"Always." I'm at loss to whether I should kiss her. Without thinking I hug her and let go and get in the car. It isn't until I'm halfway back to the construction site that I think about how pathetic that was. Did I really just hug her. A one arm hug. What kind of shit is that. God it's like fucking elementary school when you have a crush on some one. Next thing you know I'll be pulling her hair and calling her names.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	6. Chapter 6

Just like he said Elliot wasn't home that night, when we went to my appointment, until late. I think he got home around eight and went straight to bed. I wasn't sure because I was tired. On Wednesday afternoon I got a call from the police about some footage that was recover by the cameras. I knew I wasn't going to take Evan, even though it would have been perfectly safe. So I called Mia to take him for a while tomorrow. And I would tell Elliot today. The immature part of me was thinking that I should just pretend to forget but I also knew that that would only add to our fight that in my opinion was going on for too long. I know he felt the same way but regardless we were both being awkward around each other. I mean a one arm hug really?

After the appointment Elliot has been trying harder to help me with Evan. I know I have to talk to him about not working soon but I don't know what to say so I've been putting it off. But I'll talk to him soon.

After finishing Isabelle's homework nod dinner Elliot arrives at five o'clock. He used to pick up Isabelle but now I do it. Ever since that time I freaked out on him about his muddy shoes he leaves them in the garage. So he walks in barefoot.

"Hey Isabelle." He says kissing her head.

"Daddy I missed you!" She's about to jump in his arms until she sees him shirt is soaked. It's been raining a lot and his new site isn't waterproof. "Guess what I'm gonna eat. I'm eating macaroni. You want some?" She says.

"Sure did you make enough for me. Because I eat a lot."

"Yes we did." He gets down to kiss Evan who's on his back on the floor. "Are you going to kiss mommy?" She asks him before he gets upstairs.

That's my girl always pushing Elliot and I to work things through even when we don't want to. Even though right now I want to work it out. Hell a week ago I wanted to work it out.

"I don't think your mom wants to kiss me baby." I look away pretending I'm not hearing their conversation even though it hurts me.

"Probably not you're smelly."

"Well that's what happens when we mess up and mix up the sewer pipe with something else."

"Oh. Why did you mess up?"

"Because people weren't paying attention to the blueprints." She nods as if though she understands what's going on.

"Did you yell at them. My teacher yells when Amy doesn't pay attention." She says smiling.

"Why doesn't Amy pay attention?" She bites her upper lip.

"I don't know. Maybe because I have to tell her stuff." I suppress my chuckle Elliot doesn't though.

"Well maybe you shouldn't talk in class and she won't get in trouble." He says in his fake stern voice.

"Maybe." She says casually.

"I'm gonna shower okay? You can tell me about your day when I come back. Lina?" He says looking in the kitchen.

"Yea?" I say looking at him.

"I'm gonna take a shower. I'll be down soon." I mumble an okay and he sighs. I'm so sick of this. Every time I get an opportunity to talk I blow it off. It's not on purpose but I just don't know how to start. I feel my eyes start to water but manage to pull it together by the time he comes down again.

"Isabelle, come help set the table please." He says to her.

"Ugh I don't want to." She says not getting up.

"I don't care if you don't want to, you have to help."

"But I don't want to." She whines again.

"Isabelle if you don't do it you're not watching tv today." He says sternly.

"Ugh fine." She says then proceeds to set the table stomping back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room. I don't hear Elliot for a few minutes so I assume he went to get the paper work from his car. He doesn't like to carry it with him because he always comes in muddy or wet. I watch Isabelle be upset as I take the plates to the rightful place on the table.

"Isabelle I need you to take George some water." I say when she's done.

"Why me?" She asks whining again.

"Because it's your dog and I'm busy." I tell her with out looking at her.

"Why doesn't Evan do it?" I almost chuckle but I know that won't help my parenting.

"Because Evan is a baby, he's too small. And I'm tell you to do it. So can you just go?" I watch her cross her arms.

"No." She says confidently.

"No?" She shakes her head. "I can go tell you're dad you aren't listening."

"Daddy says I don't have to do it. I asked him." I stop what I'm doing and look at her.

"Well I'm telling you that you have five seconds to go give the dog water. If you don't go you aren't going to stay with your grandmother and father on Friday is that what you want?" I say in a calm voice even though I'm getting pissed. "One, two, three..." She runs off to the laundry room where George is.

She comes back a short while later looking upset. As much as I hate seeing her upset I know that she has to listen to me. I can't have her thinking that it's okay to not listen to us.

"Can you please wash your hands before you eat?" I ask calmly. I know she let's George lick her hand when she gives him treats and it's gross but she loves that dog. We all do.

I see Elliot walk in with some flowers. He sets them next to me and leans on the counter. "What's this?" I say eyeing the flowers.

"For you?"

"What for?" I say quietly.

"It's for you." He says again.

"No I get that but why? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Because." He removes an imaginary price of lint off my shirt. "You are an incredible mother and wife. And I want to tell you that I appreciate everything you do for us." I smile a little at him.

"It's my job as the woman of this family to do those things that I do." He steps closer placing his hand on my cheek, moving it to my neck the running his thumb over my skin. I've missed his touch. His skin is a bit rougher than other man but that's because I know he has to do manual labor when his guys are slacking.

"Maybe but you do more than most. I mean you wake up to make me breakfast in the mornings and take the baby all day. Then Isabelle, you take her to school and go to any parent meetings. Walk the dog and still manage to keep the house spotless. That's a lot. And you can be all humble and shit but I really do appreciate everything. I don't say thank you enough but just know I do." He says looking straight at my eyes.

"Thank you Elliot." I say shyly because what else can I say.

"Thank you." I put the flowers in a vase then turn to face him again. I step toward him and wrap my arms around his waist. I've missed his scent. This is as intimate as we have gotten the last few days and I've missed him. His arms go around me and hold me tightly. I groan when I hear Evan begin to whimper in this seat. He just loves to cry right as I'm about to eat. I unstrap him while Elliot get me his bib.

"Are you going to breastfeed him?" He asks playing with Evan's toes.

"No I have a bottle in the fridge. I'm just going to warm it up and give it to him. I haven't eaten so I was just gonna leave him to it." He recently discovered how to hold the bottle. Every once in a while he drops it but once I set it for him he goes right back to sucking.

"Well I'll warm it up for you." He sets in in the microwave for thirty seconds so it's not too warm. "Why don't I take him while we eat." He suggests.

"I can just set him down. He can hold it while we eat." I tell him.

"I miss my buddy though. I got it Lina. You just eat. You deserve to at least eat." I'm surprised by his request. Then again I do take care of Evan before he even has a chance to help. I know if I asked him to, Elliot would go out of his way to help me but I feel like I can do it on my own.

"Ok. Go with daddy Evan. He missed you." I say kissing my baby as I hand him off. Elliot's arms are extended and as I let go Evan falls and I about have a heart attack. Elliot had a him but pretended by lowering him a few inches with the illusion that I dropped him. "Elliot! That's not funny." I say to him as he controls his laughter.

"I'm sorry I won't do that again. I wouldn't drop him baby I got him. You've been so serious the last few days I thought that would lighten you up." He says smiling at me. I roll my eyes and give him the bottle.

"You're a jerk." I say hitting his back with the drying towel. He still chuckles when we get in the dining room and Isabelle is sitting waiting for us. She's not too happy but still eats all her food. She waits patiently for me to finish before taking her plate to the sink. I decide just to let her cool off and not worry too much. Elliot carries our boy feeding him during dinner and burps him. I quickly take a picture of them. They look so handsome. He's struggling trying to eat himself and feed him.

"Thanks for dinner. I'm gonna take him." We stand up, I go to the kitchen and Elliot follows. As I'm loading the dishwasher I feel them stare at at me. Once I'm finish I notice Elliot still with Evan's head resting on his shoulder. I love my boys. "Do I put him in his crib?"

"Yes but make sure you keep the monitor on." I tell him rubbing the baby's back. He nods his head and waits a minute before walking away. Another opportunity where I chicken out. I sit to watch tv when I think of how this really has gone on for long enough. I decide to call him. The phone rings five time before he answers.

"Yes?" He says into the phone.

"Hey." I start.

"Hi. How are you?" He asks.

"I'm fine. What are you doing?" I ask him.

"Nothing. I'm just in my office with Evan." He says quietly.

"Oh are you busy?"

"No did you need something?"

"Do you want to watch some tv?" I ask.

"Um sure. Let me get Evan and we'll be there soon."

"Ok. I'll just, you know wait I guess." I say slowly.

"Then I'll just you know, be right there." He says mocking me.

"Can you bring down a blanket please."

"Yup." I hang up and mental smack my forehead. Could I be anymore awkward. Yes I can. I find that I don't know how to sit or which couch to sit on. Instead I stand up and take the blanket from him. He sets Evan on his chair then sits on the couch groaning when he sees that I'm watching a reality show. I don't really care what to watch I just wanted to talk to him. And if he made the effort to come downstairs then I have to make an effort to talk with him.

"This is what we're watching?" He asks pointing at the tv.

"It's a good show. Don't worry I'll fill you in on what's been going on during the season. We're only like three weeks in. At least it's a bunch of women not men." I say trying to defend my show.

He lays on the couch and in a moment of braveness I move so that I'm between him and the back of the couch. I rest my head on his chest as he starts to run his hand up and down my back. I tell him about how it's a dating reality show and he just mumbles through it for a few minutes until I'm done talking. I know he hates this show but he puts up with it for me. I don't know how long we lay there not saying anything but I know we should. We sit up when Isabelle comes to say goodnight and I decide that now is the time to talk. He takes her upstairs to tuck her in as I wait for him to come back. When he does I feel myself get tired.

"I can't do this anymore Elliot." He looks at me shocked. "The fighting and not talking. I don't want to." I say exasperated.

"Lina please." He says looking upset. Maybe that wasn't the best choice of words.

"I'm mean. When is the last time we had a conversation a week ago? I don't want us to be like that. I'm sorry I didn't call you last time. I didn't even know what I was going to talk to her for. And I didn't take him. I dropped him off at Mia's while I talked to Jessica." I realized that I was forgetting why we were fighting in the first place and it all seemed so useless and stupid now.

"Lina why didn't you tell me." He asks sitting on the other side of the couch.

"I tried but you didn't give me the chance. Then I didn't want to because I was mad. You said I didn't care about his safety. How could you say that? He's my son, of course I care. Then you started basically saying I wasn't a good mother to him and Isabelle and maybe I'm not, but for you to do that just... You said all these things to me and I didn't want to talk." I have to stop because of the lump in my throat. "He's my son too. You kept saying how you care about your son but they're suppose to be our kids. Not just yours. And not just mine. I understand that you were upset, I'm sorry if what I did wasn't something you liked but I had to."

"I'm sorry Lina I didn't know. And I never meant those things. You a wonderful mother. You're right though, they are our kids. I just need to know that I get a say in raising Evan and Isabelle." I cut him off before he says more.

"You do have a say. Your opinion matters the most to me. And we are suppose to be doing this together and I know you've been busy making up for the time you had to take off but I've... It feels like I've been doing this alone. I don't like that. I want to do it with you."

"I didn't know you felt that way. I can... I'll do more. I just don't know what to do. When I try to help you just push me away."

"I know. That's my fault but I did it because I wanted to prove to you that I can take care of him." I admit.

"I know you can. Trust me I see you do it everyday." He says.

"I can't though. I need your help. I want us to do it together." I say wiping a tear from my eyes.

"We will." He sits close to me and kisses my head. "We'll figure it out. We can find a way. We have to." I nod my head looking at him. He pushes a strand of hair away from my face. "Lina what's going on with you? Don't say nothing I know somethings wrong I can see it. You've been depressed and you haven't been your usual self. Don't say nothing if any thing is wrong tell me so I can help. I can try." I take a deep breath before talking. I know if I don't tell him now I never will.

"I feel like everything has changed. I know it's suppose to with the baby but I feel different. Like I don't know..." I stop and lean back on the couch closing my eyes.

"Tell me. I can't help if you don't talk to me." He says quietly.

"We always talked about having a lot of babies and a big family and I want that but how can I do that if I can't even handle two kids. I don't want to disappoint you."

"Let's take it one at a time alright. Don't worry about that. We have to find a way to cope with what's going on now. I don't want another baby right now. And if we never have another one that's fine we have these two and they're already more than I expected. I love our family Lina. You're not disappointing me."

"I am. I know you want more kids. You might not right now but what about if I don't when you do? And we won't even have kids because we don't have sex. I don't feel like having sex. I'm just not in the mood ever. I feel like sleeping or eating. Or anything but not sex. What kind of wife does that? What wife doesn't want sex with her husband? Or fiancé? Because that's what you are. We aren't even married."

"Don't worry about imaginary kids. And as far as sex... I love you I don't want sex if-"

"You don't?" I ask him standing up.

"No." He says standing next to me. He places his hand on my face but I push him away. He doesn't even want me that way. Don't all men want that? Is there something wrong with me? I suddenly feel rejected. All those fears I had about him not wanting me after I had a baby are true.

"Why? Is... Did I do something?" I ask stuttering.

"No you didn't." He says looking confused.

"Then do you just not... Want me. Is there something wrong with me?" I ask taking a step back looking at floor. Now I can't even look at him.

"What? Lina, I do. There's. Nothing wrong with you. There never has been."

"Is it because I had a baby? You just don't find me... Attractive?" I say whispering so I don't feel so embarrassed. As if the quieter I say the less likely it will hurt when he turns me down.

"What?" I shake my head. I don't want to have to repeat that. I already know the answer. "You think I don't want you? Answer me!" He shouts making me jump. I can't answer him. I have to just shut up and keep myself from crying all the time where he's concerned. "Lina I love you." But I don't want you like that. I can already hear what he's going to say. "I want you. Always. All the fucking time I want you. I would have sex with you everyday if you and Evan would let me. You're beautiful and sexy." He steps forward and holds my head in place so that I'm looking at him. "You're my beautiful, amazing, sexy as fuck wife that is too damn insecure for her own good. It's not that I don't want sex it's that I know you don't want sex and I've put you through enough to force you into having sex." Put me through enough? What does this mean. "You had a baby and you take care of our kids practically all day. You make me breakfast in the morning even when you're pissed or tired. Which you really don't have to do by the way. You're an amazing person. I'm lucky to have you. Anyone would be lucky to have you but you chose me. And I chose you. I find you attractive. Very attractive. I'm Just not going to pressure you on that. We'll have sex when you're ready." He strokes my cheek.

"What if I never want sex." He smirks at me.

"That's not going to happen. You won't live you're life without sex. You love sex. I know you do. More specifically you love sex with me." He says winking. I smile just a little knowing he's completely right. "You're the one who doesn't think you're attractive not me." He's right. I take his wrist and push it away from my face. I intertwine out fingers at my side. "That's another thing you have to stop killing yourself with the working out. I know you're trying to get back in shape but you were small to begin with how much more are you planning to lose. You're already where you were before the pregnancy. I know how much you weighed because I heard you telling Andy. So don't lie about that." He let's go and picks up Evan from his rocker that was next to the couch. "See this guy. This is the reason your body changed. If I had to gain weight I would do it because this little one is a damn master piece if you ask me. I know I'm not the one who gained weight and got pregnant but you can't look at that face and tell me it's not worth it." I smile at him because he's right.

"He is." I tell him.

"And you made him. You and that incredible body of yours has made sure he is healthy. He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Don't feel insecure. I will always love you because you have given me best things in my life." I kiss Evan's head before looking up at Elliot again. "And your tits are amazing now. Before they were good but now..." I chuckle at him. Always the jokes with him. No matter how serious he always make me laugh.

"I love you Elliot."

"I love you too." He presses his lips against my forehead. Then moves back to the couch when he asks me to sit next to him. I sit down but. Then he moves so that he's laying down with Evan on his chest and Elliot has his head on my lap. I'm tempted not to tell him about tomorrow but I know it's not right so tell him.

"I have to talk to the detective on the homicide case about the break in tomorrow. I already called Mia and she's going to take Evan for a few hours." I watch him as he takes a few deep breathes before looking up at me.

"Okay. Did you want me to go with you?" I look at him completely caught off guard.

"Umm why? I mean sure if you want to."

"You can say no if you don't want me to go." I use Elliot's shirt to wipe the drool off Evan then use the blanket to cover him. He's wide awake right now and it makes me smile to see him trying to lift his head.

"I didn't say I didn't want you to go but I'm surprised you aren't mad at me."

"I'm not mad because one, you are telling me about it before not after. Two, you aren't taking Evan. Even though you didn't take him last time. But I'm glad you talked to me about this. I like when you talk to me about things."

"I like when we talk in general." He chuckles lightly looking at the baby. "He looks like you." I tell him.

"He does. So will you go out with me Friday?" He asks without looking at me.

"Are you asking me out? Like on a date?" I say with a fake shocked expression.

"A date." He confirms.

"I don't know it's kind of sudden and I might have plans."

"We'll tell me when you decide."

"Okay."

"Just say yes." He says looking at me.

"Sure. Are you going to stand me up again?"

"No I'll be here I promise."

"Where are we going?" I ask standing up and placing a blanket on the floor for Evan to lay on his belly. I lay him down and show him a toy that he watched but can't really grab because he can't control his movements enough. Elliot gets off the couch and lays resting his head on a pillow facing us.

"Did you want to go somewhere specific?" He runs his finger over Evan's foot which he moves. "He's ticklish."

"Do it again. Not really. Dinners always nice." I comment getting on Evan's other side. He moves his foot again when Elliot runs his finger over his arch.

"Well I had an idea of something we could do. Do you want to eat dinner before or after." I shrug. "You know what, I'll just surprise you. You're too indecisive." I smile at him. I run my finger tip lightly over Evan's back and he arches his back. It's too cute to not do again so I keep doing it until I see his lips pull into a smile.

"Ah! Look!" Evan extends his hands because I startle him. "Sorry baby." Elliot looks at Evan when I start to run my hands over his back again. When he sees that Evan is indeed smiling he gets his phone to take a video. "He's smiling. Aww he's so cute." I want to just pick him up but I want to see him smile. Before I know it I'm crying and I can't take it anymore I have to hold him.

"See he's totally worth it." Elliot says standing behind me as we lay him down on his crib for bed.

"I know." I take his hand and lead him to bed where he lays behind me. We've slept in the same bed the last few days but it feels like we've been so far away. I woke up at three am as usual but Elliot wasn't in bed. I found him changing Evan's diaper. I made him breakfast like I usually do and Evan was asleep when I went to check on him after Elliot left. I agreed to call Elliot later that day to see if I would need him to go with me to the police station. I dint though. I'd rather have him come home early than see him for an hour during the day.

* * *

**To the reviewer who was interested in Mia's story, I am writing her story with Luke to input as a chapter but it's a work in progress. When I have writers block with Lina and Elliot I usually write about Mia. So that will come, soon I hope. We will find out what happens with Kate and maybe jack Hyde but from Lina's POV. Also, there will still be a wedding but not yet. A few things need to happen before the wedding. everyone seems to think Lina waking up at 3am for Elliot is ridiculous. So do I. But that's the kind of person she is. I was going to have them be in a fight longer but thats not who they are. So any date ideas? Or anything else I need to add to the story? Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	7. Chapter 7

"Miss Reid thank you for coming. We were able to recover about thirty seconds of footage and thought that maybe you would see it and recognize the man. He's wanted for a murder so you know how important this is." As if I didn't know that. "We are going to play the footage and just let us know if you've seen this man before." They sit me down in an interrogation room and bring in a computer. The footage is slightly blurry the first few seconds but there is about five seconds where his face shows up completely clear. And I know who it is. But I don't.

I remember his face clearly since he attacked me. I came in here thinking it would all be fine but now I know it's not. Now I know that this is a much bigger issue. He's isn't just looking for someone. "We're going to play it a few times for you." He says as the video begins again. He must have played it about four times and I stayed quiet. I had to be sure, without a doubt that it was him because if it wasn't then it won't be a big deal. But as I keep looking it is him. "Miss Reid?" I must have spaced out because many people were looking at me.

"Um a few months ago there was man who attacked me outside the building. I don't know who it was but that's him. I don't know his name sorry." I looked away at the detective who was writing something down.

"Do you know what day it was?"

"Sometime last December probably the twentieth. I'm not sure."

"Did you tell anyone?" What a strange question.

"Of course. I told HR and they tried to investigate but we couldn't find anything."

"Miss Reid we are going to need to tell the other detective and see if we can work together to find him. But you'll need to stay here until we get all the facts together. Can I get you something while you wait?" I shift in my seat.

"I need to call someone. So privacy would be nice."

"Miss Reid this is important." He says clearly annoyed with me.

"I understand that but I need to at least call my fiancé to let him know." They exit giving me some privacy while I call Elliot. This is so not going to go over well. He doesn't pick up and I'm secretly happy about it until I realize that just because he didn't answer doesn't mean I don't have to tell him. I call his work phone to see if he answers.

"Grey construction." Says a male voice on the other end.

"Hello can I speak to Elliot Grey?" I say tapping my fingers on the desk.

"Who's this?" He asks rather rudely.

"This is Lina. Umm Carolina Reid. Can I speak to Elliot please?" There is some shuffling before the phone comes to a stop.

"He's not here right now. He had to check something out. I'll tell him you called though."

"Okay thank you."

"No problem ma'am." I hang up. I text him telling him to call me back. The detectives comeback in the room to talk to me.

"He didn't answer. But he'll call back soon I'm sure. Do you know how long I'll be here?" I don't mean to be insensitive but I'm not up to having an argument with Elliot so my priority is him. Always him.

"A few hours." I'm tempted to roll my eyes but I have authority issues.

"Well then I'll just wait for him to call back." He leaves again before I have a chance to answer him. A short while later Elliot calls me back, finally.

"Sorry I missed your call. How'd it go?" He asks out of breath.

"Um I have to stay here longer than I thought I would. So I called Mia and she's going to get Isabelle later." I ask hoping he doesn't ask more.

"Sure what's going on?" He asks skeptically.

"I have to talk to some other guy and he isn't here yet." Which is true but not the whole truth.

"Okay. Are you sure that's all?" He asks concerned. I sigh, perfectly aware there is no way to answer that avoiding the whole truth.

"It's not."

"Okay?"

"Can I tell you later tonight?"

"I rather know now. I don't want to have to worry all day about this Carolina." Oh he's not putting up with my shit today. He even used my whole name. That rarely happens.

"They showed me the footage and it's the same guy that came up to me last December." He goes without saying anything for a minute which worries me. "Elliot? Are you there?"

"Yea."

"Please say something."

"Carolina. I'll be right there. I don't want you alone for this."

"El I'm okay. I'm perfectly safe." I try to down play it. "But if you want to come then I'll be here."

"Lina I know you think I'm being a dramatic about this-"

"But you do it because you care. It's okay I get it. I love you too." I smile at myself. At least he's being reasonable. Not like last time just yelling at me like I'm some child.

"Lina," he sighs and I can just imagine him running his hand through his hair.

"Elliot just come. We'll figure it out together. And I love having you with me. In any situation."

"I'll be there soon."

"I know." I hang up and just wait for him to get here. I should be thinking about all the bad things that could happen but I'm sure Elliot is worried enough for the both of us. Instead I try to distract myself with things I have to do around the house.

I have to get more diapers. And some new clothes because Evan. Even though Evan has a ton or two,of clothes he's growing so fast. Most of my favorite onesies are fitting a bit snug lately. I can go this weekend. I'll have Mia go with me. I could use the girl time. Well girl and baby time. I'm sure Ana would be the more obvious choice so maybe I'll ask her. I have to get more dog food. Usually Elliot buys it but I could do it. If I can somehow carry the huge bag in the car. And I have to go grocery shopping. I make a mental note of the things I need to buy. Isabelle has another project due soon that I have to help her with. She has to build a safari. Complete with animals and sand. How the hell am I suppose to put sand on a freakin board? These projects are ridiculous. I still have to decide on her birthday. It's three weeks from now. Elliot gave me the go ahead to have a party for her but I'm not sure I want that. Or her for that matter. Maybe she could do a sleep over. But it is her first birthday with us. I can't believe she's almost six.

"Hey." Says Elliot walking in.

"Hi you got here fast." I tell him. He must have been close.

"I guess. How long have you been in here?"

"For about two hours. They came to talk to me but since then I've just been sitting here waiting for that other detective. Were you running. You sound out of breath."

"No." He says smiling which tells me that he was. We sat and talked a both somethings that I was thinking about earlier. Mostly we just agreed to have Isabelle enrolled in a sport. We decided gymnastics since that's what I did when I was little. He told me about how when he was younger Grace had them in a martial arts, an instrument and a foreign language. I told him I'll look into it.

"And we have to look at getting a nanny."

"Elliot I really don't want that."

"I know but if you're going to start working then we need someone who will take care of Evan for a few hours. Unless you were thinking of day care."

"I wanted to talk to you about that actually. I know it's been crazy being home and I'm stressed but I think I'd be more stressed if I left Evan with a stranger."

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that maybe I could not work. If that's okay with you. I just. I want to enjoy my time with him while he's small I mean he's almost two months already. And I don't want to miss all the little things. Like when he started picking up his head, I was so excited and it was a little thing but I would miss it." I say playing with my ring as he watches me.

"Miss Reid, I'm detective Vega." Says a man walking in who shakes my hand.

"I remember." He's the same man I talked to last time.

"And this is?" He asks extending his hand to Elliot who stand to shake his hand.

"My fiancé. Elliot Grey." I tell him.

"Grey? Are you familiar with Christian grey?" I can sense Elliot wanting to roll his eyes.

"Yes he's my brother."

"Really? I heard the trial is next week for the kidnapping."

"It is." After a year they are finally having the trial for the incident that happened with Ana and Mia last year. Jack's lawyers are trying to prove that he was mentally unstable to get a not guilty verdict. Which is pretty stupid because we know he's fine. But everyone's doing it now. When Christian found out that jack might actually walk he was pissed. And rightfully so but still it was no excuse to go around punching walls and throwing things. Getting drunk, sure but the hole in his office was a bit much. Or maybe not. Depends who you ask. Even Elliot was pissed. That was about three months ago.

"Well I hope it goes well for your family. Shall we sit?" We sit back down Elliot moving a little closer to me. I grab his hand and he squeezes mine reassuring me. I give both detectives a repeat of what happened last time. I'm not sure what good it will do because they should have everything from last time. "We want, we need you to go through the office and find if anything is missing. I'm aware that you have had many people in the last ten months but you have to remember something."

"I can. I can go Monday and do it thoroughly. I can get all my copies and just cross reference it with the originals that should still be there."

"What?"

"Oh I have back up saves at home. We have to do both in case something gets lost."

"Right. When does your maternity leave end?"

"Next week is my last week." I tell him.

"Well I'm sure you'll be happy to be working again." Gosh he's annoying. Well his voice is. It's like he's sucking up to me. Maybe it's because I'm with a "Grey". I've noticed people really go out of their way to please Elliot's family. Especially Ana. From a business standpoint I get it. But after a while it has to get old having to deal with people kissing your ass all day. I should ask her. I know Elliot hates it.

"Is that all. Because we would really like to get home to out baby now." He says quite rudely.

"Yes." Elliot and I shake his hand and walk out before he can keep me here any longer.

"Elliot are you going back to work?" I ask him as he walks me to my car.

"Yea baby I have to. I'm gonna stay a while after too. If that's okay with you. I'll take Evan once I get home." And that's why I make him breakfast in the morning. Because even though he works all day he comes home and takes the baby so that I can rest when he hasn't. It's really the least I can do.

"That's fine. I'm gonna be at Andy's for a while and I'll see you at home."

"I'll see you then. I love you." He says pressing his lips against mine, finally. Even though we've talked things out a short peck is as far as we've gone. I think he hasn't initiated anything because he doesn't want to pressure me but it's unnecessary because even though right now I don't want sex, he's right that I will.

"Love you. Laters."

* * *

"Do you guys always hang out and not invite me?" I ask Andy and Mia as I walk in.

"It's Thursday. We have lunch on Thursday. Which turns into some shopping or a spa morning. You're welcome to join us." Says Andy.

"That's sounds like an invitation because you feel sorry for me." I tell them. I'm kind of hurt because usually Andy would tell me everything and things have changed. Maybe I've been too focused in my world.

"We started this after the wedding now, it's routine. We would have told you sooner but we thought you've been kind of... Off." Says Mia.

"Off?" I say as I grab something to drink.

"Yea like when you went to moms house last time you just shut yourself in Elliot's room all day. I thought maybe you were just resting but I overheard mom and Elliot talk about how you were stressed. I thought it was because of the baby but then I talked to Andy and she said you might be depressed. Are you?" Leave it to Mia to not beat around the bush.

"No Elliot and I got in a fight. We're okay now but I was hurt and didn't really want to talk to him."

"What did he do?"

"Why do you think it was him?" I chuckle lightly.

"It's my brother." She gives me an obvious look. I give then a quick run through of what happened.

"Oh god he's just like Christian sometimes."

"But he's kind of right. He worries a lot. And I know how you like to make things seem like they're not a big deal." Says Andy.

"I don't want him to worry. He has other things on his mind."

I hear Andy scoff. "Yeah everyone does but you're his girlfriend and that's his baby. He's going to put you at the top of the list. I would be worried if he didn't. Maybe he didn't go about it the right way but you need to take him seriously."

"I do take him seriously."

"Let him worry. That's his job. He's loves you."

"She's right I read somewhere that if you act too independent and don't let a guy take care of you you're practically cutting his balls off. It's like you're telling him he's not man enough." Says Mia.

"Well I don't know about all of that but just let him take care if you. Just because you can live alone doesn't mean you have to." I nod knowing she's right.

"Where's my baby?"

"He's in Emily's room. You can get him if you want." I go upstairs and find him awake surrounded by pillows.

"Hi baby. I missed you." I immediately smile when I see him. I don't think I've been away from him of for so long. And it's only been like five hours. Ok maybe me being crazy makes sense. But I love my baby how can I not want to spend time with him. I carry him downstairs and sit him on my lap watching Mia cook for Andy. "Where's Emily?"

"She's at day care. We leave her there Tuesdays and Thursdays for a few hours. She needs to interact with kids her age."

"That's good."

"How's he doing?" She asks pointing to Evan.

"He's good he's been sleeping longer lately which is good for me. But when he cries, he gets really loud and it bothers Isabelle. The other day I found her on the couch of Elliot's office because he kept her up. Yeah she's not happy with him."

"It gets easier." That's what I'm hoping for because Isabelle was a storm that night. I feel bad but there's only so much I can do."

"So have you talked about more kids?" Asks Mia.

"No. We are not talking and I'm not thinking about anymore."

"At all?" They ask at the same time.

"Well not anytime soon." Mia's phone rings and she puts it on speaker.

"Hey mom you're on speaker."

"Mia what do you need a fertility specialist for?" Says Grace practically screeching.

"Geeze mom it's not for me. It's for a friend. I told her I'd ask you if you knew anyone good."

"You should have said that. Mia it's no time for you to have a baby. You haven't even been with Luke a year and you're so young and not married." Mia freezes and I can see her feelings are hurt. Everyone always treating her like a child.

"So what? I'm not trying to have a baby. And Elliot and Christian had babies in under a year of meeting Lina and Ana. Ana is my age and Elliot isn't even married so none of those are good enough reasons. If I wanted a baby I could but I'm not asking for me."

"Mia i know you don't want a baby now. It's not time for you."

"Forget it mom I'll ask someone else. I'll talk to you later." She hangs up and turns back to cooking. Andy and I look at each other. And shrug. It's quiet besides Evan's toy making noise.

"Mia? You okay?" She sighs.

"Yea. I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult your relationship or anything. It just... I'm fine."

"No it's okay. I get it. Me and Elliot kind rushed things. And we aren't married."

"I'm just tired of being treated like a kid. She's always telling me what to do and how. I love her but it's frustrating sometimes." I can't even say anything to her because I love Grace but I know she's at a breaking point with everyone.

"So stop listening. I know you love your mom. She knows it too. Even Luke is sick of it." We both look at Andy shocked. She must have let it slip.

"What?"

"Nothing." She shakes her head and takes Evan.

"Andy what did Luke say?"

"You can't say anything because I was eavesdropping." She looks at both of us. We nod our heads. "Well Luke and Mark were watching a game and I was taking care of Emily upstairs anyways I went to the kitchen and they were talking about how you cancel dates just because your dad tell you to. And something about how you haven't planned the wedding because your mom can't get vacation time to do it. Anyways he was saying how your world revolves around them and he's thinking maybe you aren't... Well you know ready, for marriage. He loves you and he knows you love him but well..."

"When was this?" I asked Andy.

"Like a month ago. I'm sorry. I should have said something but I felt bad." I watch Mia's usual smile gone from her face.

"Oh ok."

"You want to talk about it?" I ask her after a few seconds of silence.

"What's there to talk about. He doesn't want to marry me. It's not that I do everything they say. I like to spend time with my parents. I've always been close to them. I'm not going to push them away because Luke wants attention. He should know that they are important. Nope. Nothing to talk about."

"Mia he wants to marry you." Says Andy.

"Maybe he just needs for you to show him he's important." I tell her.

"He is. I'll talk to him about it."

"Maybe you could say no to your parents if you already have plans with him."

"Okay that was one time and dad needed my help with grandpa. I just didn't want Luke to worry so I didn't tell him why." I smirk at Andy who is looking at me. I guess I'm not the only one who down plays things.

"Well maybe you should tell him. Let him take care of you." I say in a very bad imitation of Mia's voice. She turns around and throws something at me missing.

"Bitch." She says laughing.

"Well speaking of not planning weddings," Andy says looking at me. "When are you having yours?"

"I'm telling you now I'm so not planning it. Do you know how hard I worked on that wedding?" I wrap my arms behind her laughing.

"Yes I do. Thanks Mia. Even though I didn't go."

"Well it was a fucking amazing party I'll tell you that." Andy says shifting Evan. I take him from her and put him on a blanket where I can see him. Lately he's really quiet when he's on the floor.

"What happened?" Mia throws he head back laughing.

"Well after your parents left is when it started. Not that they're boring or anything. They are pretty nice when they let you talk to them." She stops talking to laugh. Andy's laughing too so I'm standing here like an idiot with no clue.

"Your sister got drunk and Rob got Carrick drunk and Christian was a little buzzed. I don't even know because honestly we were all kind of out of it. We were in a hotel no one was driving and Emily was with your parents so we were having night. Anyways Virginia being the wild child of your family gave coffee flavored alcohol to Ann who got drunk too."

"Who wasn't drunk for this?" I interrupted her. She couldn't stop laughing so Mia continued.

"Well she apparently thinks my dad is very handsome and then she went to Christian, I think she fell a few times on the way. And kept asking him 'do you know my sister? You missed out because she's monster in bed'. She was walking around telling everyone that. Virginia got a lot of numbers that day." I can only imagine how stupid she must have looked. Oh god, no wonder she didn't want to visit me when Christian was at the hospital.

"It was a fun day. Good thing you guys bought so much booze." Says Andy.

"Honestly your sister is the funniest person I know. She had everyone dancing even you boring ass sister in-laws who were too cool to drink. That's okay Noah and Toni had fun." Says Mia.

"But when are you getting married?" Asks Andy.

"We haven't really talked about that. It's just kind of been on the back burner lately. Now we kind of want to get things settled with Evan and Isabelle. We haven't even had time alone for months. Which sucks because I know I'm not spending time with Elliot. He hasn't said anything but still."

"He said something to me." Says Mia as she finishes dinner. "He told me that you don't really pay attention to him. It's because you're so busy with the baby that you don't even make time for yourself. Much less him. It's bothering him not in a I-don't-love-you-anymore way but he thinks that you don't love him. He wouldn't say it in those words but he really was upset." He has a right to be upset. I've been spending so much time with the kids that I don't make time for him anymore. We used to spend hours talking and now it's like I rather sleep than be with him.

"He's really excited about tomorrow though. He has this big plan for you two. He's being a little girl about it. He just wants time with you. When was the last time you guys spent a night alone. No baby or Isabelle." I shrug my shoulders because I don't know. When Isabelle spent the night at Elliot's parents house. That was probably three months ago. And we have never had time for just us. Never had a vacation together.

"Do you know where he's taking me?" She says she can't tell me. We spend sometime talking about what I should wear and how we all seem to have really bad communication skills in certain areas.

"Are you ready for next week?" I ask Mia.

"Not really. I mean I'm not as traumatized as Ana because I don't even remember anything but I guess the only thing that worries me is that he might walk and come after Christian again."

"Why do you think he'll walk?" Asks Andy.

"Because daddy was telling mom how their psychologist thinks he's crazy. He's been following Christian his whole life. He has articles and pictures. It's crazy. He's been stalking Christian since he was adopted. How he did it I don't know but I feel like he'll walk."

"I'm sure Christian has it covered. You shouldn't worry." I tell her.

"Well if he gets out security is going to be tighter." She comments looking at me.

"You'll be fine Mia."

"You'll have your own security too." Hell no. I'm so not doing that. I can put up with a lot of bullshit but I refuse to have someone follow me around all day.

"I doubt it."

"We'll see." She says smirking at me. "You'll at least get one next week. Ana said that Christian's hired at least five other guys for during the trials. I can't really blame him. Grey publishing has so much press outside when Ana goes to work Christian hates it. She needs at least three or four guys just to get in the building. Imagine how it's going to be at the court house. Dads had to pull in every favor he can to get police to do crowd control. Even when Elliot and I went to lunch a few days ago they've been crazy. Elliot almost hit one of them but my new CPO stopped him. He would have been arrested or something." Elliot told me about that and as much as I don't condone violence I understand how Elliot was so upset. He hates when people talk bad about me and Mia. To have people yelling at them when they walk into a restaurant is a bit much. I know because I saw them on the news.

"He's protective of you. You're still his baby sister." She rolls her eyes.

"Are you going to the actual trial?" Asks Andy.

"No I'll have the kids. Elliot's going though."

"I'll take them. I'm sure Elliot would like you there. And so would Mia."

"Yea if that's okay. Just for the verdict though. I know sometimes they take a while." And I don't really like court.

"Sure if that's okay."

"Yeah. I need the practice anyways." No?

"You're pregnant?" I see Mia shake her head in a warning to drop the subject. Oh, she's the one who need the fertility doctor.

"No but I have hope." She smiles sadly at me. "Have you talked to Elliot about not working?" She changes the subject.

"No I'm talking about it tomorrow. I told him about it but we got interrupted."

"Your not going to work?" Mia practically shouts.

"I don't think so. Why? What do you think he'll say?" What if he doesn't want me home?

"He's going to love it. If that's what you want. Elliot will totally support you. Hell you could become a stripper and he'd support you. He's crazy about you. It's actually really cute to see." She smirks at me. I can feel myself blush at how she's looking at me. I know he loves me but for someone else to see it is...

"Well I'll have you know I feel the exact same way about him." I tell her shyly.

"I know."

"Well I'll see you next week then. And don't worry I'm sure your brother has the lawyers working to make sure everything is fine." I get my things and drive home. I really needed that. I have to spend more time with people not just Evan. I love my baby but I'll go crazy if I keep going how I did the last two weeks.

Isabelle is in a much better mood this afternoon which is a first for a while. It's probably because she knows she's going with her grandparents tomorrow. She doesn't know Evan's going too though. She goes to bed earlier than usual and Evan and I stay up and wait for Elliot to get home. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up Elliot was already leaving for work.

"Lina." He says shaking me from my deep sleep.

"Yea?" I mumble trying to stand up.

"Lina I have to go. I'll see you later tonight."

"Ok." I get up putting a sweater to go down to the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" He asks me.

"Breakfast." He smiles at me.

"I told you, you don't have to do that. Just rest baby. I dont want you half asleep tonight."

"I won't be. I've been looking forward to tonight for a while. I have to feed Evan soon anyways." He grabs my hand just as I'm about to step downstairs.

"So have I. Trust me. I need you." He says moving my hair out of my face and playing with my earlobe. I take a step toward him, closing my eyes when I rest my head on his chest.

"I miss you."

"It's just while I catch up on work. When things get settled I'll be home earlier."

"I meant I miss being with you alone like this. I love our kids but sometimes I need time with just you." I say looking up at him.

"I love that you're letting me hold you again." He says rubbing my back. "We'll make more fine for us." He said kissing my for head letting his lips linger on my skin. I pull back biting my lip and let my hands make their way to his chest up his shoulders until they reach the back of his neck.

"I love you."I say against him lips. As I speak I feel the slightest pressure from touching his lips. "I love you." I repeat. I purse my lips so they are fully against his. We pull back a fraction of an inch to open our eyes and prepare for a kiss that was so mind and boy consuming. I close my eyes again. His lips touch mine and I pull on his bottom lip with mine. I do it again. Slowly, so that I can fully taste him mouth. His hand fists on the fabric on my shirt. When his lip is between mine, my tongue reaches out to feel him smooth lip. Slowly, our mouths are moving so slowly. Once I let his lip go his mouth opens up for me and our tongues move together. His tongue invades me and I can't help but suck on it lightly causing him to moan. His grip on my shirt tightens before one hand slides down to my ass.

He's being caution so I give him the go ahead to feel me. I moan. He grabs my ass. My hands move to his back and I scrape my nails over his T-shirt on his back. He sucks on my lip as a mean to distract me of his hands. One is now between both my cheeks and heading right when he wants me. The other moves to cup my face. My hands move to his ass and without pretense I push his growing erection onto my stomach. The hand that was on my face moves down to cover my breast but applies no pressure. His legs goes between mine and my core has enough pressure for me to realize I need more. The thin fabric of my shorts allows me to get some sort of friction. He leans back on small sitting chair we have in the hallway and I sit on his leg. I involuntarily move my pelvis and the friction makes me moan. It feels so good. I can't even kiss him I'm so distracted but how good it is.

"Daddy?" I immediately get up and see Isabelle coming out of her room. She's rubbing her eyes so hopefully she didn't see. He gets up too.

"Yea baby?" He somewhat discretely fixes his pants.

"I had a bad dream." She steps toward us and opens her arms for him to hold her. He picks her up and rests on his shoulder.

"Why don't you sleep with mommy so you both aren't lonely. But just tonight okay?" She nods her head.

He lays her in our room as I wash my face. I get back in bed watching Elliot tuck her in on his side of the bed. "Good night baby. Be good with mommy and Evan." He says pulling her blanket until it's below her chin.

"I love you daddy."

"I love you too baby." He kisses her and walks to my side. "Sorry we got interrupted. I already fed Evan so just sleep. I love you too. I'll see you tonight." He gives me a lingering kiss.

"Tonight." I say watching him walk to the door.


	8. Chapter 8

"Remember what we talked about?" I ask Isabelle as I get her clothes packed.

"I have to be good and not be mean to Evan." She repeats what I've been telling her all day. The last thing I want is to have to come home because she and Evan won't sleep through the night.

"And what happens if he cries at night and you can't sleep?"

"Ask if I can sleep someone else." Someone, somewhere? Same thing. I'll let that slide.

"Good. What about when grandpa is busy carrying Evan?"

"Don't be mean. Take turns."

"That's right because sometimes, Evan gets a tummy ache and he need someone to hold him. Like when you have a bad dream, you want me and daddy to hold you. So if that happens, I put Evan down and I take care of you."

"But you don't pick me up no more."

"Because you're too big for me. But I hugged her all night remember?" She nods her head. "Get me some jammies baby." I point to her closet where her pajamas are. She gets off her bed and brings back two different ones. I mentally roll my eyes. At her.

"I can't pick." She tells me when she sees my reaction shrugging. I chuckle at her. Mia has turned her into a true clothes addict. It's cute right now because we have time but in the mornings when we have to get to school it's frustrating. Honestly how hard can it be? She wears a uniform, yet can't decide between brown or blue pants. Let's not forget the hair. Does she want a part to the left or right? Ponytail or braid? A French braid or fishtail? Now that I've been growing her hair out, it's past her shoulders and she's loving all the different things I can do to her hair. And as cute as she is, she frustrates me to no end. So I let Grace deal with it later tonight.

"Ok let's go get your tooth brush and stuff." She follows me as I walk to the bathroom attached and get her travel bag. I fit all her things in a reasonably sizes rolling backpack. "Anything you need to take. A bear? Or a blanket?" She hands a blanket Elliot and I bought her when we first went to buy her things.

"Isabelle. We have to go pay. Do you want to hold my hand?" She looks away from a display. We are waiting on Isabelle and she's getting tired. We all are. This is our last stop before we take a break. Elliot's been so nervous. He doesn't know what to get her and she isn't much help. She talks but when we ask her what she wants she looks as if we have cornered her.

She looks at my hand then back at the display. "Is this bed okay?" Elliot asks her pointing to the brown bed frame that he picked out because she wouldn't give input. She just shrugs. "If you don't like it you can tell me. We can find something else." He tells her. She keeps looking at the display.

"Is there something you want? If you like something just come show Elliot maybe you can get it?" I look to him for approval. She walks away bring back a purple blanket. It's considered a large blanket because it's meant for babies. She holds it up to Elliot quietly.

"You want this?" She looks at the floor, biting her lip. She nods once. "Okay if that makes you happy. You can have it, let's go." She smiles the tiniest smile and holds it to her chest.

"Thank you." She whispers to him. She grabs his hand and Elliot smiles at her.

"Alright. We are done. let's leave this in Evan's room and you can color while I get ready." I drag Evan's roller, with him in it, across the carpet to my and Elliot's room. I give him his pacifier and he sits watching me as I get ready.

"What are you doing?" Isabelle asks me walking in.

"I have to get ready."

"Why?" She asks sitting on the toilet seat.

"I'm going out later." I tell her as I begin to do my hair.

"Where?"

"I don't know." I tell her.

"Why not?"

"Daddy hasn't told me."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"Why all the questions?" I ask her.

"I don't know." She says giggling. "Do you like daddy?"

"I love your daddy."

"Daddy loves you too. He told me." I smile to myself.

"He loves you too." Once I'm finished with my hair and make up i sit in bed to nurse Evan and Isabelle follows me. She watches him eat with curious eyes.

"Why do you do that?" She asks me.

"Because he's a baby and this is how babies eat. When he's older he'll eat big people food like me and you but for now he just drinks milk."

"Are we gonna see you in the night?"

"I don't think so honey. Daddy and I are going to hang out today. And we'll pick you up in the morning okay?"

"Ok. What is gonna eat?" She looks at me again. Once Evan is done I fix my shirt and burp him.

"Milk. I put it in a bottle so when he's hungry he can eat. Do you want to help me make him burp?" She nods her head. I sit her on the bed and place Evan on her chest tell her to pat his back until he burps. When he does she doesn't want to let go so I lay him on the bed and she stays with him. "If you want to get up let me know okay? But don't leave him alone." When I'm mid way through changing Elliot calls. "Hey."

"Hey baby." I wait for him to say something else. "So I need to ask you something." I really hope he doesn't have to cancel.

"Okay." I try to keep my voice from giving away my fears. The last thing I need is to make him feel bad if he does have to change things.

"Do you have a passport?"

"Elliot we're... Why do I need a passport?" I ask him.

"Why do people need passports?"

"Baby we are only going for one night. I mean that's what you told Grace right?" I only packed for one night.

"Yea we are just going up to the border a bit. Canada." Oh ok.

"Yeah I have one." Andy and I used to go a lot.

"Ok. Well it's a two hour drive but if you don't want to go that far we can do something else."

"No it's fine. It doesn't really matter." I say sighing in relief.

"Oh. Is there something you do want to do." He says.

"I meant it doesn't matter what we do. I just want to be with you alone. For the first time in months."

"Well then I'll see you in a few minutes. I had to pick up some things for us." He hangs up and I change Evan's diaper with Isabelle's "help". Which consists of her handing me things.

"Baby come here." I tell Isabelle as I sit on the couch in our room. She sits on my lap and I run my fingers through her hair. "I just want to tell you that I love you okay? I know I'm busy with Evan a lot so you and me don't get to spend all the time together but that doesn't mean I don't still love you a lot. Maybe tomorrow or Sunday you and me can spend the day together. Just us girls. I'll take you shopping for new shoes."

"Really?" She bounces excitedly holding my neck. I giggle at her, nodding my head. "You can get new shoes too. Or we can walk in the mall." She starts throwing ideas around and I just watch how animated she is. We must have sat there longer than I thought because Elliot comes inside and she's still talking. Once she sees him, she jumps to greet him. I stand up walking toward them.

"Hey. You ready?" He asks me.

"Yeah can you just take their bags down?" I place my hands on his chest and stand on my toes to kiss him. He pulls back quickly.

"Of course let me just take a shower real quick." He kisses me again. "You look beautiful by the way." I smile at him and turn around to take Evan downstairs while Elliot gets ready. "Wait Lina, I was thinking we could stay the night out and drive back in the morning."

"Yea sure. I'll get a bag packed. Do you want me to do you? I mean do your bag. "I say stuttering. He smirks at me.

"Sure." I put Elliot and my things in one bag so we don't have to carry two and take all of the bags to the top of the stairs. They're way too heavy for me. Plus he likes doing all that lifting stuff for us so I just let him. I'm aware that the entire time I'm in the closet he's naked in the bathroom.

Isabelle, Evan and I are downstairs feeding George before we have to go. Elliot and Isabelle built him a dog house a few weeks ago so that when we go out he still sleeps inside, kind of. It's has his bed and a place to put his food. So when we are away the food is released as soon as everything from the bowl is empty. We tested it out and it can basically hold enough food for three days. Which is a lot since he's such a big dog.

I packed something that i may not be comfortable wearing but i miss the romance and i know we are bound to be intimate sometime soon. It might as well be tonight when we have no kids to interrupt us. I know he saw me pack the piece but didnt say anything. Which im glad for. "Baby ready to go?" He asks me putting his hand on my back.

"Yea. You checked what I got for you right? You don't need anything else?" I ask him.

"No. I'm gonna take the stuff in the car." He kisses my temple before going upstairs. I take a deal breath to calm my nerves. I shut off the lights before heading to the garage where he's buckling in Isabelle. I put Evan in his seat giving him his pacifier it pushes it out. I give it to him and he just smiles at me when he pushes it out. I start teasing him with it and he just keeps smiling. Elliot walks to his side where I am and puts his hand at my waist watching Evan.

"Alright buddy, that's enough funny business we have to get going." I put his pacifier next to him since he isn't going to take it. I turn around getting in my seat before Elliot has a chance to make a move.

Midway to Bellevue Elliot takes my hand kissing each of my knuckles as he drives. I had the biggest grin on my face for something as small as that. He usually holds my hand when he drives but I felt like some love sick teenager today.

Carrick treated us at the door with Grace close behind. Isabelle ran to Carrick meanwhile Elliot and Carrick got the things from the car. Once we were inside he door was shut, I turned around and saw two guys in suits watching us. One gave Elliot a nod then they both walked outside. I could tell from the glass that they were standing outside. I gave Elliot a questioning look but he shook his head. I dropped it. Tonight I wouldn't worry about any other shit going on. Just me and my fiancé. Carrick and Elliot were talking about the trial while I talked to Grace on how to care for Evan. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, I was just worried that something might go wrong or something. She's perfectly capable of taking care of him but I was nervous for him to be away from me for so long. This is the first time I don't sleep with him and I just want to make sure he adjusts well because knowing Grace and Carrick's relationship with Isabelle, Evan will probably spend lots of time here. She listened patiently and when I apologized for being paranoid, she said she understood. "Next time it will be easier, now you're just a worried mother."

Elliot had to practically drag me away when I kept kissing Evan goodbye. "Baby he'll be okay. They'll call if they need anything and they want to do this. Let them enjoy their grandkids." Elliot tells me as we are half an hour in to our driving and I keep checking my phone.

"I know. I trust your parents I'm just worried. I'm sorry I don't want to ruin tonight."

"You're not. If you want we can just go out to dinner and get them in a few hours." He says looking at me. I reach over and kiss his cheek.

"No I want this time with you. I know I've been neglecting you lately so tonight is about us. Just give me a minute to get over it."

"If you change your mind I won't be mad." He tells me look away from the road briefly.

"But you'll be disappointed." I tell him.

"Lina I don't... I didn't bring you because I'm trying to fuck you. I mean don't get me wrong I'm not opposed to it but I just want to take you out every once in a while. So we can date." He smirks at me. It's that special smirk that tells me he's up to something.

"Date?" I repeat cautiously.

"Yea date. What's wrong with dating?" He shrugs switching lanes.

"We have a baby. Aren't we past that?" I ask skeptically. He takes a drink of his coffee we picked up before getting on the highway. He said he wasn't tired but he's been up for hours I don't see how he isn't tired. So I forced him to get a coffee.

"It's never too late." Someone cuts us off and the car swerves just bit. "Sorry."

"Am I missing something?" What the hell is he talking about.

"Well I do think you've put our relationship on the back burner to the kids. That's okay. Well it's not. I fucking hate it but they are our kids so I see why you've done that but does that mean we can still like each other after kids?" He looks at me waiting for an answer.

"I still love you." I sit so that I'm facing him even though it's uncomfortable in the car.

"Sure but... Okay when I went home Monday and you walked into the room naked you told me to get out. You screamed at me to get out. Why?" Where's he going with this?

"Because you scared me. And I was getting dressed." I pointed out.

"What if you knew I was in the closet would you still have told me to get out?"

"I was getting dressed."

"So?" He shrugs his shoulders.

"So I needed privacy."

"That's all?" He raises his eyebrows. I nod my head when he looks over at me. "I've seen you naked. Plenty of times. I've seen you walk around our room naked I've seen you shower, in a bath, in a very thin shirt with no panties on. You used to love the days when Isabelle wasn't home because you got to walk naked everywhere. And I loved watching you. Love watching you. I see you breast feed. So how is you coming out of the bathroom any different than those other times?" So that's what this is about. I really don't want to talk about this.

"Because that was willingly." I lie.

"So what? It's the same body of the same person."

"Can we not talk about this?" I ask him quietly sitting back on my seat.

"Baby we have two hours to go. We are gonna talk about this." He says in a commanding tone.

"Is that why you dragged me out here, so you can force me into things?" I hear him sigh. His hands go from the top of the steering wheel to the bottom.

"Is that what you think of this? That I dragged you here. I'm not you dad Lina you could have said no. And if you think I would force you into-"

"It's not the same body." I interrupt him. I'm being cruel and he's at the end of his patience level with me. I'm at the end with me too. "Okay you win we'll talk about it. But you can't laugh. And no jokes. I love that you can turn any situation into something funny but if you want me to talk I need you to take me seriously even though I'm being a bitch and I'm being dramatic." I warn him.

"Scouts honor." He holds up three fingers. I roll my eyes at him. He grabs my hand kissing it again. "Sorry I'll be serious. It's not the same body?"

"I yelled because I don't want you to see my body. When I first had the baby I didn't care because I was so tired but then when I started not being so tired, I saw the flabby skin and it bothered me. I see how other woman look at you El. Someone hit on you while I was in labor! And all I could think about when she was in the room was about how I would be different when I had the baby. Look different. I've always felt like I wasn't good enough for you." He opens his mouth to say something. "No you promised to listen so let me finish. You've been with so many other women, and I hate to admit it but it makes me self conscious. All new moms feel like that. And what if sex isn't the same for you?" He can read between the lines on that one. "What if my vagina feels different?" I say looking out the window. He doesn't say anything. He just drives. Drives and rubs his thumb over my hand.

"I'm sorry are you finished?" Was he not listening?

"Seriously? You wanted me to talk and you don't pay attention?"

"You said I couldn't talk till you were done. So if you're done then it's my turn." He clears his throat. "You're hips are bigger. They say that after birth hips get bigger. But it gives you curves. It makes you look like a mother and before you bitch about me calling you old, let me tell you. I don't give a fuck. I rather have you be fat because then have perverted assholes won't be looking at you. You're my wife. You don't need to impress people. I hear what people say and baby I don't like that people talk about you like some piece of ass. Even though you do have a great ass. We've talk about how you made a perfectly healthy baby. You're still not comfortable and that's okay but don't dwell on it. And as far as the other women, they were mostly one night stands or flings. There's a reason they didn't last. As far as your... Well we will figure that out. Maybe it isn't the same but I just want to be with you. You will always be beautiful to me. Always." He sighs. "Always." There is a car accident so there is traffic. We are at a complete stop which must be fate stepping in. I grab Elliot's chin and kiss his mouth hard. The cars start moving and I pull back.

I leaned on his shoulder for the next few minutes thinking about how redundant I must sound bitching about the same thing over and over. I make a mental note to not bring it up again. Elliot loves me. Hell, he asked me to move in before sex if that's not a sign of a reformed playboy I don't know what is.

"Hey we got off topic." I tell him. He looks at me questioningly.

"What were we talking about?"

"Dating."

"Oh well my mom was telling me that if you are insecure that I should find way to make you feel loved or some shit like that. That we should date. Did you know we never dated. We skipped that part of our relationship."

"Well then pull over."

"Why?" He asks even though he pulls over. Once we are safely on the side of the road I get out of the car and he does the same. He walks toward me.

"You've been awake for hours. I love talking to you but you're distracted. Take a nap and I'll drive. We are headed to Vancouver right?"

"Yea."

"Then I'll drive for an hour. Just sleep and I'll wake you up when we are near. If you fall asleep during there is little chance of a second date." He smiles sweetly at me and gets in the passengers side.

"Just head up to Vancouver and when you're five miles within city limits tell me."

"Yes sir." He chuckles and closes his eyes. Elliot had his hand on my leg the entire time. When I did wake him up we switched seats. He loved driving his car.

"So can you tell me where we are going?" I ask him.

"Well I was talking to Mia and she said you would think this is 'cute'. So we are going to go old school." That really helps a lot. He just pats my leg. We pull into a park that is is decorated in lights. We park in the structure, and instead of heading to the closest spot he drives until we are at the fifth floor. He walks to open my door and I take his hand. It's a lot colder than I thought it would be. He pulls out a bag and hands it to me. Inside is a coat with some gloves. "I knew it would be colder, but if I told you to bring something it would give it away. Don't take anything. Maybe just a phone and your id. Come." I take his hand as he guides me to the elevator.

"It's beautiful here." I tell him looking at the trees wrapped in lights. There are a few vendors selling food and I'm tempted to get some thing because it's cold but decide against it until I know what we are doing.

"It is. I thought we could walk a bit."

"How was work?" I ask him. He begins telling me about what he's doing which leads into other topics. He jokes about how I'm going to be his hot, dirty secretary one day. But I love how he's so open with me. We walked for ten minutes just talking and reminiscing on things that happened in our life. Today was one of those moments that people are suppose to have at the beginning of their relationship not a year in. I don't regret anything that has happened but I know that we have been so unconventional about things that we had to bypass certain stages. Such as this one when we just go out and be together. "Seriously?" I ask him looking at where we stopped.

"Yea. If you want." He holds his hands up. I can't stop the goofy smile spreading on my face.

"This is actually very cute." I tell him. Ice skating. Who would have thought he brought me here. It's an outdoor skating ring and most of it is lit by lights around the ring, which is pretty big. We both start out awkwardly but once we get the hang of it, it's not so bad. No I see the need for gloves. "You know this feels like a real date."

"Does it make you feel young?" I can't help laughing. I'm laughing at pretty much anything he says.

"Yes. I've never been before." I tell him.

"Me either. But I thought this would be fun. To try something new with you."

"It is fun. Thank you for bringing me here." I tell him placing a kiss on the side of his mouth.

"Yea you look so carefree. I haven't seen you like this in a while. Not with me anyways."

"We agreed to not talk about bad stuff tonight. Let's just worry about us. Just you and me."

"Right." He says smiling again.

"How's your ankle?" I ask him. I made him trip when we first got on the ice. On accident.

"Good, no thanks to you." He winks at me.

"Oh come on that's so obvious. You would made me pull you up and instead just drag me on top of you. We both know that was you're plan. I could see it from the smirk on your face."

"Still you just laughed." He says loudly.

"I'm sorry." I pull his head down to mine smiling. "I'm sorry." I say again before pressing my lips on his initiating one of most beautiful moments with him. I can feel how much he wants me and loves me. It's only until someone cleared their throat.

"Sorry." The guy introduced him self as Jackson told us how his brother was proposing to his girlfriend. "So if you guys could bump into her and be like 'oh sorry' something like that and just give her the rose. Then just leave. That would help my brother who's freaking out. She doesn't know he's here."

"Yeah sure." I tell him. He points to a girl with black jeans and and a black sweater with bright pink gloves and a hat.

"You can't miss her. Anyways thanks man. Don't make her fall but just do it casually." He thanks us again and goes to talk to another person.

We are third to give her the rose and I almost couldn't stop so I almost made her fall but Elliot stopped us. We gave her the flower and she just laughed. She knew what was going to happen. After about fifteen more people the lights were dimmed and her boyfriend showed up. I don't know what he said but it was so cute just to see her smiling. I kind of reminded me of when Elliot proposed. Not in the location but because I remember how happy I was. I wasn't screaming like this girl but if I wasn't pregnant I probably would have. Elliot put his arm around my shoulder while everyone clapped and the lights went back on.

"Do you want to stay a while longer or we can go eat?" He checks his watch frowning.

"We can eat. Did you make reservations?" I ask him. Loosely knotting my hands behind his head.

"I did in half an hour. That should be just enough time to get there." He laughs at me on our walk back to the car.

"What?" I ask him. I have my hand on the crook of his elbow and his hands are in his pockets.

"You keep looking back at the food." He says chuckling. There are a ton of food truck and to be honest they look way more appetizing than anything else right now. "Do you want to get something here?"

"Yes." I say stopping mid step. He doesn't when I say I don't care or make him decide, so if he's asking he better be willing.

"Okay. Where to?" We must have gone to at least five different food trucks. But I couldn't help it. It's not like I could blame the pregnancy so these craving were all me. I took his hand making him turn around to start off with a hot chocolate. We got crêpes, burgers, he got the most delicious drink I ever tasted but I only had a sip because I was still breast feeding. There was also had fries which had way to much salt but kind of worth it because of the meat.

"I think maybe we overdid it with the food." I commented when we were sitting on a bench drinking water while watching the skaters.

"You think?" His voice full of sarcasm. "God Lina I don't think I've ever eaten so much. Look at all the shit we bought." I had a bag full of small containers. He was right.

"You want to try my mini mint chocolate cupcake?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yes." He said before I burst out laughing. I took out the cupcake and he took a the mini cupcake in one bite. I just watched him completely shocked at how he could eat it so quickly.

"I said try not eat the whole thing." I told him. He just shrugged. He grabbed my hand before I cleaned off the frosting and inserted my finger tip in his mouth. My jaw dropped as I felt him suck on my finger then continued to my thumb. I don't think he did it to seduce me but suddenly I had a strong urge to kiss him. I closed my mouth and swallowed. When he opened his eyes he saw that I wasn't thinking about food anymore. I wasn't thinking about anything other than him. Without warning our lips collided in a fast kiss that was too indecent to be done publicly. My tongue touched his and I could taste the minty chocolatey flavor of the cupcake he just ate. My hand landed on his thigh. He pulled back.

I stood up and offer him my hand. We walked for another hour. This time we took the long way to the car just talking about our week when the phone rings. Isabelle had to call and say good night to us. Which was strange because it's late and she's usually asleep by now. Grace says that she took some candy they had hidden and she was on a sugar high but after going crazy for an hour she was about to crash. After thanking Grace and Carrick about ten times we hang up and are finally in the parking structure. Elliot opens my door before walking to the drivers seat.

We pull up to the Rosewood hotel which is a huge building. Elliot hands the keys to the valet and they take our suitcase. We check in and they hand us our room key. "Your things will be taken up shortly. Enjoy your stay." The staff tell us. In the elevator Elliot takes my hand while I rest my head on his shoulder. I feel him kiss my hair constantly going up to our floor. He opens the door to our suite and let's me walk in ahead of him. It's very modern. It has dark walls and white furniture. I see that the bedroom double doors are open, I can see the bed which is both good an bad. Suddenly I get nervous for what is going to happen here. The door slams shut so I look back at Elliot who is watching me.

"Can you get room service to bring up some tea?"

"Sure." He steps forward to kiss me chastely. Maybe I'm the only nervous one. Of course I am he has nothing to worry about.

They bring our suitcase up and I change into the lace strapless bra and panties I bought this morning with Mia. She couldn't even look at me knowing it was for her brother but she put it aside to help me. Over it I put my robe on. A silk nude colored one that makes my skin look tan. He's digging through the suitcase when I walk out.

"I'm going on the balcony." He must be frustrated because he doesn't look at me.

"Yea I took your tea out there. I thought you might want it outside. It's a nice view. I'm gonna change. I'll be right there." Without looking at me he steps into th bathroom. He must have turned on the outside fire because it's on. It's a bit chili so I grab one of the blankets that was in a drawer to place over my legs. He's right though. It's a beautiful view. I drink my tea waiting for him to join me. He comes outside with only his bottoms on looking completely glorious.

"Have you ever been here before?" I ask him sipping on my tea.

"This city yes. Not his hotel. I thought we should try it out. We could make this a home away from home. This could be our place." He takes a seat on the bigger chair across from me.

"I like it here."

"We could get a house here. For when we need to get away."

"A house that will only be used once a month?" I raise an eyebrow to my fiancé.

"Or an apartment. A loft if you'd like. Something for us." He puts his hands out defensively.

"I'll think about it. Maybe when we retire." I tell him.

"Speaking of retiring, are you going to work next week?" I look away at the view.

"I want to stay home. When ever I try and talk to you about it we get interrupted. I love being home. And it will only be for a few months. I'm sure I'll want to work again but I want to be with Evan for his firsts. Maybe just a year. If that's okay?" I ask removing my ring and trying it on my other fingers.

"I'm glad you want that. I want you home. I just didn't say anything because I thought you would say no. You're so independent. I don't want to tell you to do something, not that you'd listen. You've been living on your own for so long when I first asked you to move in you fought me on bills constantly. You still do. I love how you don't have to sit and wait for me to do things you want to do. But at the same time I'm glad you talk to me about it. Like this."

"So you're okay with it?" I ask cautiously.

"Yea baby. Just, if you get overwhelmed let me know. If you need anything from me just ask."

"I will." I wrap the blanket around me tighter. He sees me then gets up to turn the fire up more. "Thank you." I tell him. He's much closer to the fire than I am. The point of today was to be together so, I stand up and decide to sit on his lap. He pats my legs so I move them over him. I can feel him breathing through his nose because it goes down slightly over my face. I can smell the faintness of his cologne on his bare chest. This is definitely much warmer. His has an arm over my back while his other hand runs up and down my calves. I tilt my head up looking at his perfect jawline. And his lips, those lips that drive me crazy in every way possible. They drive me crazy anytime they are touching any part of my skin. And I see the faint color of his eyes. His beautiful icy blue eyes that are just as if not brighter than our son's.

I pull his chin so he looks at me. "I love you." I say just before reaching up to kiss him. We kiss slowly allowing each other to taste one another. He runs his fingers through my hair lightly. I though his jaw with my thumb, moving my hand higher around the curve of his ear then to his hair. I feel his hand move from my head to the nape of my neck while his other hand keeps me in place on his lap. As beautiful as this moment is I need more. I can feel he does too. I pull back but he continues to connect his lips with mine. I press my fingertips against his lips but he kisses those too. I stand in front of him my robe loose from moving so much. I turn around to shut off the fire before heading inside. He's still sitting down watching me. With as much confidence as I can claim I walk back to stand in front of him swaying my hips a bit more than usual.

"Let's go inside." He stands, so I walk back to our room. Once I reach the bed I turn to see him close the double doors unnecessarily considering we are the only ones here. It's probably a habit now. He walks to the light switch making the light become dim. Enough to where I can still see him but not as bright. The light creates an intimacy feeling mixed with romance that he knows I so desperately need to feel comfortable with him. I untie my robe before he turns around. He knows how I can't even function after sex so I have to sleep it off right after, so he pulls down the duvet until it's at the end of the bed. When he turns around he sees that I have the robe pooling at my feel. I unconsciously bite my lip. He hasn't moved from the end of the bed so I walk toward him. Once I'm at arm length he grips my waist while his thumb runs over the soft lace of my panties. My hands slide up his arms, my eyes completely captivated by the flawless skin of his chest. "You're beautiful." He said eying my body.

"I love you Carolina." He whispers.

"Show me." I look into his eyes just before closing them allowing him to show me.

His hands went to my cheeks as my hands moved to his back so I could feel him against me. I allowed his tongue to claim dominance over mine because I was so weak from how passionate he was being. There was no point in trying to deny the fact that I want him. I undid the tries of his pajama bottoms and pushed them down so they were against his ankles. He stopped the kiss to look down so he could step out of them. I took my time kissing his chest each pectoral then down between his ab muscles, to his belly button. As I was going to kiss his manhood over his boxer briefs he pulls me up roughly smashing his lips against mine. As we kiss fast, his hands move down my back and grab my ass almost painfully but I moan at how hot it is. He picks me up and lays me on the bed then begins to kiss my neck and shoulders. He places wet hot kisses down my body. He reaches behind me to unhook my bra wasting no time licking and sucking on my nipples.

"Elliot." I say moving his mouth harder against my aching skin. I slide my leg up the back of his thigh until it's at his ass then down again. "Baby," his hands move to each of my breast and start massaging them, pulling my nipples. He sits between my legs watching as I struggle to contain my desire. I open my eyes and see how hard he's breathing watching me come apart at only his hands. I kneel so we are close to the same height. I reach to stroke his already hard dick with my hand. I push him slightly back. He gets off the bed to remove the last of his clothing.

This is it. There's no turning back. My biggest worry really wasn't that it would be different but that it would hurt. After so much time without sex. I would have to get used to his size all over again. He wasn't small by any means but I was worried. Would I bleed or would something go wrong and I wouldn't enjoy it. Or he wouldn't enjoy it?

The moment of truth came when I laid back and he slid off the last piece of clothing. He grabbed my ankles pushing my legs apart. "You're so wet baby. I can see how much you want me." He said huskily. He moved his tip over my wet folds. "El," I moaned to him.

"I'll go slow baby. Tell me if you need us to stop. Okay. Just tell me and we won't continue." He kissed me and while his was using his hands to support his weight over me I reached between us and positioned him at my entrance. "I love you." He said as he was pushing into me.

"Oh god. Oh Elliot. Fuck I missed this." I felt so complete so damn satisfied even though there was no friction. He pulled out slowly so I moved my hands to his ass and pushed him forward into me. He groaned looked ahead of me at the wall.

"You okay?" He said between breathes.

"Yes. You can move baby. I want you to move." He gave me a long passionate kiss as he started grinding his hips into me.

"Elliot. You... Oh yes." I said. So good. He was so good in and out. He pulled out slowly only to slam back into me. I pushed his body so it would touch mine. My breasts were touching his chest and he liked it. I know he did.

"I'm gonna move your leg baby. Fuck you're so damn tight. So fucking wet."

"For you. Only for you." I tell him. He makes me so happy and horny. So... Fuck I can't even think. It's so much movement so much passionate and need that we haven't had in months. Hell I don't think I've ever had this before. He moves his hips faster and I bite into his skin. I suck on his neck leaving what I'm sure tomorrow will be a hickey but fuck he's so good at this.

"I need you to come. I can't hold on much longer." He says after what feels like for ever. The thing about sex is that it's so frustrating. On one hand you want to just climax but then you'll miss all the build up. But we've been at this for what I'm sure is hours. I've had enough build up. He's holding on so I can come with him. His hand starts rubbing my clit at the same time he hits my spot. He always knows where to move so he hits it at just the right time and now is time. My legs move higher up his body. My toes curl and I have to grab on to the sheets.

"Elliot." I say his name. Louder and louder each time. So close. I'm so fucking close. I throw my head back as I come apart saying his name. And he does the same. His slow grinding turns into hard, rough thrusts into me as he releases inside me. I feel the warm liquid enter my body like it has so many times before. Moans are replaced by labored breathing on both our parts. He rests his head on my neck before turning so my body is completely on his.

"Lina." He says once we are breathing like normal people again not someone who just ran a marathon.

"Yes?" I say into his chest as I trace patterns.

"I didn't use a condom." I look up at him resting my chin on his chest.

"I know. It's okay. I'm on birth control." I tell him. Which is true. I got my shot a few weeks ago.

"Good." He says chuckling nervously.

"Elliot. Thank you for today. It was wonderful." I kiss his chest.

"You're welcome." He says smiling.

"El?" I ask again.

"Yea baby. "

"Ready for round two?" I ask smiling hopefully at him. He laughs before pinning me down so my back is on the mattress.

* * *

**Redds77: I don't hate Ana I just think that Ana and Christian live in their own little world compared to the rest of the Grey's. There is some competitiveness but that will unfold later. But since you have so faithfully followed this story I will try to bring back some of the old Lina. Just for you. **

**And to everyone else. I was going to do some over the top date but what I've wanted to do with Lina and Elliot is to keep their lives semi-normal. So I though something like this would do. Of course there will more Lina and Elliot times to come so let me know what you think their next date will be. to all the reviewers who want a wedding. Just know that there will be one. Thanks everyone for reading And reviewing. **


	9. Chapter 9

As much as I loved last night, and this morning with Elliot I miss our babies. Both of them. I was just ready to get to them already.

"When are you coming?" Isabelle asks me right as I say hello.

"Soon."

"Like five minutes?" She says excitedly.

"No more like two hours. We are bit far away but I'll be there soon okay?"

"But I want to see you now." She whines.

"Isabelle I'm not there yet. I need you to behave okay? Just a little longer. Then we can spend time together."

"But you don't spend time with me. Only Evan."

"I'll tell you what, you be good and in two hours when I get to your grandpa's house you and me are gonna spend all day together. No Evan or daddy. Yes?"

"Promise?" She asks me still upset.

"Yes baby I promise. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"Love you too." She says before hanging up on me. How the hell does she even know how to hang up.

"How are the kids?" Elliot asks from the driver's seat.

"Good. Grace said Evan was pretty quiet and Isabelle was with Carrick as usual."

"So where are you going later?"

"I told her I'd take her out. So can you spend the day with Evan."

"Sure on one condition." I wasn't really asking him because he's the father therefore, he should just do it.

"Okay?" I ask.

"Well the press has been crazy the last few days with the trial and everything. I don't know why the care so fucking much but there was an incident where they followed Ana to work and almost crashed her car. Christian wants all of the family to have a CPO for next week. Just until the press backs off."

"Elliot. You can't be serious." I tell him.

"Please. For me. Just do it. I want you safe and I'm not allowed to go apparently since Isabelle doesn't want me to go."

"Elliot." I drag out his name. "No."

"Lina please. I saying please here. I respect your privacy and shit but come on." I know he's desperate for me to just agree.

"You know Mia told me that you guys would do this to me." He chuckles humorlessly.

"Yea she told me you would fight me on this. I wouldn't do this to you unless I thought it was absolutely necessary. You know I hate it too." He says taking my hand.

"Please don't make me." I say resting my forehead on his shoulder.

"I don't want to but it is regarding your safety and that I won't take lightly."

"Ugh... Fine. But I don't want them in the bathroom with me. And they can't be in suits. They have to blend in at least. And they can't be reporting to you on everything I do. Or Christian. Unless I'm like dying or something. I don't want them keeping tabs on me."

"You have something to hide?" He smirks at me.

"No but I don't want them to act like a freaking monitoring anklet. Where they tell you every where I've stepped. Wait is that what the two guys outside Grace's hour were doing?" I ask recalling the two men outside Grace's house yesterday.

"Yes. It's only for a little while. Once the press is over the story and that fucker Hyde is locked up I'll tell Christian to shove it." He kisses my hand.

"And he has to be hot. Preferably young." I smirk at him.

"See that is too far. Everything else I can live with but no. I'll give you a nice hot woman. Preferably young." He says in a bad impersonation of me.

"Sure I can work with that." I say winking at him. He laughs at me.

"Will you have a shadow for the next few days?" I shift so that I'm facing him with my feet on the seat.

"Not really." What a hypocrite. "I can take care of myself. I took judo as a kid. If you were traveling with the kids something could happen. The paparazzi could get too close and well you never know. Or if you're with Isabelle she could get scared. If I'm with you then I take care of you. But alone, I'm just not sure it's a good idea."

"It's okay. But only for a little while. This isn't going to be something permanent." Now I feel like such a bitch for always saying how Ana just puts up with everything. I just caved. This isn't what I want but it's what Elliot needs to get peace of mind. I reach over to place a kiss just below his ear.

"Thank you." He says smiling at me.

"So, where are we going next time?" I ask him.

* * *

"Hey open the door!" Isabelle shouts knocking on the window of the car as we pull up to Grace's house. I unlock the door and she opens the door for me hugging me tightly as I'm about to get out.

"Hey baby. You missed me?" I say chuckling at her response.

"Where were you? You took forever! Like 18 days. I counted." She says not letting go. I don't want to let her go but I would like to get up.

"I think you mean hours sweetie. I was with daddy but now I'm here and you and I are going to spend the day together. How's that?" She plus back still not letting go.

"No Evan?" She asks me.

"Nope. No Evan and daddy. We are going to have a girl day." She shrieks and holds me tighter. I see Carrick and Grace looking at us.

"Let's go gets my stuff." She says pulling on my hand.

"Hold on you didn't even say hi to your dad."

"Ugh.. Hi daddy." She hugs his legs briefly then runs back to me. I cave into her demands and walk inside. I greet Carrick and Grace on my way in and they tell me Evan is sleeping.

"Look me and grandma made cookies in the morning for you. You can share with daddy. But not for Evan because he can't eat cookies. He's a baby." She guides me to the kitchen and gives me one. She's beaming when I tell her how good they are. "I sleep here in daddy's room. Grandma says we can make it so it's my room now. So when I have sleepovers I have a room. I'll have two rooms. One here and one with you." She shows me all the pictures she colored with Carrick and how she was fixing the old clothes Elliot had at this house so they can be put in boxes to put in the attic.

"Sounds like you were busy." I tell her after she stops talking.

"Yes I was so tired."

"Okay well are you super tired and can't go with me today?"

"Not that tired."

"Hi. What happened to all my stuff?" Elliot says walking in the room.

"Your mom is taking your things to the attic and this is going to be Isabelle's room." I fill him in on what Grace said.

"Fine." He scoffs sarcastically. "We have to get going. Evan should wake up in an hour or so. So you can feed him then go to where ever you two are going."

"Sure. That's fine. Isabelle where's your stuff?" She points to her bag.

"Daddy can take it let's go!" She pulls my hand again. I hear Elliot laugh at how eager she is. "Bye grandpa and grandma. We're leaving." She says as she tries to pull me past them out the front door. I stop and talk with them for a few minutes. She's very impatient today. I see Elliot walk out to take the kid's things to the car. Once he comes in he's carrying a smiling Evan in his arms. He gives me Evan who immediately rests his head on my shoulder. I know he hasn't, but he looks like he's gotten bigger in the half day we were gone. Isabelle doesn't look too happy about me holding him though. I see her glaring at Evan. Elliot must have noticed as well because he carries her and that seems to be enough for now.

When we finally do make it home Isabelle is glued to my side. I don't mind and she doesn't bother me but I also know that it's because she wants to leave.

"Isabelle why don't you go put the clothes in your bag away. When I'm done with Evan we can go." I tell her and she runs out to what I'm assuming is her room.

"She's excited." Elliot comments sitting on our bed. Evan latches on instantly sucking away.

"She is. So I'm going to leave milk in the fridge for later." I tell him.

"Okay. What if it's not enough? What do I do?" His eyebrows come close together showing how worried he is. This will be the first time he's alone with the baby.

"You won't need more but if you do just call. Just keep him on his belly when he's awake. It will make him tired so he'll fall asleep. You'll be fine." I tell him running my hand over the stubble on his cheek.

"And you'll come home right, if I need you." He looks up at me.

"Yes Elliot I'll be here. But you won't need me because you're a great father. And Isabelle and I need some time alone."

"Maynard is waiting for you. She'll be your 'shadow' for a few days." Good I like her. She isn't as formal as everyone else. And she seems more entertaining, for Isabelle's sake, than other security details Christian has. Not that I've met them all.

Evan stops sucking and I shift to burp him but Elliot volunteers to do it. "I'll see you later baby. I love you." I kiss Elliot's lips quickly after readjusting my bra. "And I love you baby." I kiss Evan's head before grabbing my purse and some more comfortable flats. I'm sure Isabelle is going to drag me to a million places today.

"Ready?" I ask. I love seeing her face so happy. She nods taking some shoes. I tie them for her and she practically runs down the stairs.

"Which car? This one? Or daddy's? Or his truck?" She loves Elliot's truck and as much as I would love to make her happy I simple hate it so my car it is because I rarely use it. "I need a big girl seat." She yells before going to get one. We always have one extra in the garage for times when we drive off with one. I think we have three for Isabelle alone. She puts it in her self and waits for me to put on her seatbelt. I show her how to do it so she learns. "I want music please." Fortunately, for me, I have made my musical tastes grow on her. Which means she knows a majority of the songs that come on. Elliot hates it. But he loves me so puts up with it.

Our first stop is a salon where we are going to get our hair cut because honestly we are both in need of it. Considering my hair is so long I cut three inches hopefully it doesn't look like a lot. Isabelle just got a little trim. She been loving her hair lately. Then we sit and get our nails done. "I want pink please." She says to the lady.

"You can't have pink on your fingers because you're not allowed to have painted nails in school. You can get pink toes though." She pouts but I give her a look telling her that this is not negotiable. "You can get a clear so they at least look shiny though."

"Okay. Can I get a shiny please." The lady smiles at her and nods. I decided on a beige so they look natural.

"Why are we sitting here?" She asks me.

"We can't get up until they are dry. Because if we put our shoes on they'll mess it up. So why don't you just tell me what you want for your birthday while we wait."

"Um. We can make a cake." She says looking at her toes.

"What about a party? You don't want a party?" She shakes her head. "Do you want to tell me why?" She shakes her head again. "You know if you want a party daddy and me will get you a super fun party. We can invite Amy. And other friends in your class. Grandpa and grandma can come. Mia, Luke, Ana-"

"And Mr. Grey?" She asks me.

"Yea him too. I bet you'll get lots of presents."

"I don't think so." She says matter of fact.

"Why not?"

"Cuz it's only one birthday so only one present. So only cake right."

"You don't want a present?" I ask her.

"It's okay I like cake. If I get a present I can't share. But cake can be for everyone."

"You can get both." I tell her. She hasn't looked at me. Somethings wrong I can tell.

"It's okay I know you don't have lots of money. I like cake." Money? What is she talking about?

"Why don't I have money?"

"Because Rick takes it. It's okay. I like cake." Rick, that was the moms boyfriend. I've never even seen the guy. Isabelle doesn't talk about him. I know from what she's told us that he was controlling, abusing. A no good piece of trash as far as I'm concerned. She doesn't like to talk about him. And I don't want to hear much either. I can't handle hearing how he treated my baby for all those years.

"Rick?" She nods her head. "Well Rick doesn't take my money. Daddy works really hard so he can buy things for you. You are so small sweetie. You don't have to worry about money. That's me and daddy's job okay. We worry about that and you worry about school." I say pushing hair out of her face.

"I do good at school." I smile even though she won't look at me.

"I know that's why you get a present for your birthday. And cake. Auntie Mia can make it. You know she makes super yummy cakes." I see her smile just a little. "So do you want a party with your friends?"

"No just my family. And Amy. And my two friends. That's it. Please." She looks up hopefully at me.

"Your family will always be there because we love you so much and you are the best daughter anyone could hope for. And such a good big sister. I love you Isabelle."

"I love you mommy." She put her arms around my neck tightly. Forget my nails I hug her back.

After getting our nails done we buy a few things around the mall.

"Can I get these?" She asks pointing to a pair of rain boots. They're three hundreds dollars. She doesn't need three hundred dollar boots. But she looks so happy. She tries them on then walks to the mirror doing a very Mia-like pose. She turns around to stick out her butt. It's Mia all over again. Not that I mind, I love Mia but it's the cutest thing to see. I take a picture sending it to Mia before she gets shy. I really don't understand her logic though. She'll ask for overly expensive shoes yet worries that I'm spending too much on her birthday. Maybe it's because it's a "present". Whenever we label something as a present she becomes shy and talks about how she is either a good or a bad girl.

"That's what you want?" She nods quickly

"For the rain." She says.

"Okay but you better take really good care of them. And tell daddy thank you when you see him later."

"I will thanks mommy." I just smile at her. Now I see how people end up spending so much money on their child. "Can we get Evan some shoes?" She asks me.

"You want to buy something for Evan?" I ask her. Up until now she hasn't even mentioned Evan. So I'm surprised she actually wants to spend some time on him.

"Yes. He need something too."

"Sure but maybe not shoes. We can buy him a little outfit at a different store." She picks out some jeans and a shirt that won't fit him for a few months but she wanted that for him and I'm not about to discourage any choices she makes. As long as she wants to get him something I'm all for it.

"Why don't we go to dinner then the movies." I tell her as we walk out.

"I want some pasgeti please."

"It's spaghetti baby. But sure let's go." We went to an Italian restaurant where we have spaghetti and some dessert. I was pretty amazing and she thought so too. I didn't even remember Maynard was with us until I saw her drive in a car behind her. It seemed like a really useless day for her since nothing exciting happened. I felt bad that she was just following us around all day so Isabelle and I agreed that she should eat dinner with us. She's actually really funny. She has a daughter that lives with her dad. They're in a long distance relationship, which I don't understand but she said it worked for them.

After the movie Isabelle was pretty tired so I called it a day. I've really missed time with her. Maynard followed us back. She must have told Elliot we were on our way back because he greeted me at the door and helped carry Isabelle who was fast asleep to her room. I left her shoes in her closet before making my way to Evan's room. He was asleep too. I stored some milk in the fridge because I felt so full after not pumping all day. He was asleep with his thumb in his mouth. He didn't have any baby acne anymore so now his face was perfectly smooth. His hair was getting curly just like Elliot's. He's probably going to grow up to be a perfect clone of his father which is a good thing. But there is no trace of me in him.

"You coming to bed?" Elliot asks quietly walking in the room.

"Yes I was just checking on him."

"Come. Let's sleep." I look back at him smirking.

"I don't want to sleep."

"Then come to bed and we'll not sleep." He says cocking his head. I turn, leaning forward to kiss my baby good night. I put a blanket around his body then turn the monitor on. I feel him watch me as I turn the lights down and get ready to leave Evan for the night. I motion for Elliot to follow me downstairs, which he does. I sway my hips a little more than I usually do.

* * *

**The next chapter will be in Mia's POV. This was just a filler chapter while I write out Mia's story. For the reviewers who were interested in her story. But tell me what you think of this one. Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Mia POV One year ago. **

Oh god my head hurts. I feel like I can't move. I can't even open my eyes. I try to remember what happened. I was at the gym. There was a woman and she had a gun. Oh god I have to move I have to do something but I can't. I try to move but I don't. I can't feel anything. Except the damn fly on my lip. I try to move my hand to swat it away. I think I'm moving it. I am moving it I feel it on my lip. But the fly is still there. I open my eyes and everything is bright. It takes a moment to focus and when I do I see I'm in a hospital. I pull on the tub under my nose. Shit I have to get out of here.

"Hey don't move that. You're okay. Miss grey, you're okay. You're in the hospital." Luke, one of Christian's security is here. He gets my hands holding them so that they aren't pulling on the medical equipment. "Do you remember what happened?" I nod my head still unable to find my voice.

"You were taken by some people. You're okay now. You were drugged. But you're fine."

"Mom" I croak unable to speak a full sentence.

"Your parents went to get something to eat and a change of clothes. They left a few minutes ago. They'll be back in a few hours."

"Why aren't you with Ana?"

"Mr. Grey is with Ana. He hasn't left her side." What happened to Ana. "They asked Ana for a ransom and she took it to the kidnappers. You were just bait. They wanted to get to her. She's fine thought don't worry." Good. Christian would die without her. I feel like an idiot though. If I hadn't been so stupid and tried to ditch my security then this wouldn't have happened. I don't even know what happened. All is remember is someone coming behind me then everything goes black. "I'm going to get your nurse. She has to come check on you." I grab his hand before he leaves. This is so embarrassing what do I do now? I didn't want him to leave. He picks my hand up and brings it to his lips. "I'll be right back. I promise." He drops my hand walking out. What did I do. I have a boyfriend. Kind of.

Ethan and I have never really called it official. And now I don't really want to. He's so boring doesn't talk at all. All he does is listen to me talk. As much as I like when someone just listens, he does it like I'm some psychology case it makes me feel so damn crazy. And he's boring all he ever wants to do is watch stupid documentaries. Or go to dinner to the same place. I'm so over it. But I didn't consider it when I first met him. Now it's like I can't break up with him because his sister is marrying my brother.

I don't know who's worst, Kate or Ethan. She's so bossy and the opposite of Ethan. Kate, from what Elliot tells me, always has to be doing something. And Elliot was into that at first but now that their relationship is more settled he doesn't have time to just stop what he's doing and go on random vacations.

Elliot always tells me that he wants to have just quiet nights at home. Watch tv and "hang out" I was at his house once making his dinner because he had worked for 14 hours straight and she kept going on about how bored she was and he wasn't paying attention to her. He wasn't paying attention because he has a business to run. Then the bitch had the nerve to compare how Christian would leave work early for Ana. They hadn't moved in at the time so he told her to go out and not come back. I was so happy I made his favorite cake that day. I know he was stressed so I went over the whole week to make him dinner. To top it off he had to apologize to her. I didn't really get them.

But with Ethan I have to make an appointment. And I have to call weeks in advance. I'm over it. The nurse came in and Luke stood on the door frame with his arms crossed. He was in his usual black suit. I never notice how good he looked. Well that's a lie I noticed but he didn't notice me. The nurse removed my IV and the tube thing under my nose then left saying that I was fine and I would be discharged immediately. They had a massive trauma coming in and anyone that didn't need to be here wouldn't be.

"Your parents aren't answering their phones to pick you up Mia." Says Sawyer.

"Oh it's ok I can take a taxi." I hate taxis but I don't want him to think I'm a brat.

"I'll take you. I'm technically off the clock now but I don't mind." Oh god yes! Car ride alone with Luke any time. But I have to act like it's not a big deal. I nod my head. I stop by Christian and Ana's room and say good bye. He looks a mess. We get him some food before we leave and get in the car. It's sawyer's car.

"So do you think we can get something to eat? I'm kinda hungry."

"I'm suppose to just take you home." God I feel like such a baby. My chaperone can't even drive me to get food. That's so embarrassing. "If you want I'll make you something there. I just think that your parents want to see you. They shouldn't worry more than they already have." He's right. Mom is probably freaking out and dad must be miserable. I know I'm going to get put on house arrest by Christian for not allowing him to get me two security guys but I didn't know they would come after me.

"Why did he come after me?" His grip on the steering wheel tightens and his mouth is set in a hard line.

"Because you were the easy access. We weren't more careful with you and as much as we hate to admit it. We fucked... We messed up."

"You don't have to filter things for me. I know all about that language. Fuck and shit and asshole. All those words I grew up hearing because of Elliot. He was like a fucking sailor. It drove my mom crazy but he learned to tone it down. When he was like 17 he got hurt in football and came home saying fuck this fuck that and my fucking foot. Anyways he was being a little bitch about it. He was about to graduate and mom knew it was the last few months she had where she could ground him. She took away his cellphone and his door. And if he wanted to go out he would have to take me. He had a date once and he didn't want to cancel so he made me pretend to be some kid that their parent forget at the movies and he 'took care of me' with his date. She totally fell for it." He was laughing by the end. So was I but not because of the story but because his laugh was contagious. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh before.

"How old were you?" He said smiling at me.

"I was like eight or something. Maybe older." I said giggling.

"What about when you had to go home?" He said as we pulled up to the house driveway. He input the key code without having to ask for it. It's crazy how he's not family and knows the code to our house. I don't think Elena even knows and she's my moms oldest friend.

"He said that he was going to take me to our mom because she's a doctor and my dads a lawyer so they would know what to do. Yeah they dated for a few weeks I think because she kept coming around."

"And she didn't recognize you?" I chuckled before I answered.

"Nope. That how he liked them blonde and dumb. Plus he would pay me to hide around the house. Not that she came over much maybe once or twice. Then he went out with her best friend. This I learned years later because she was related to a friend of mine."

"Blonde and dumb?" He said as we got out of the car. He leaned on the car with his hands in his pockets.

"Yea he hasn't changed much. I think he's been with every blonde in Seattle. He's such a player. Still is really. I mean engaged but I don't buy. I think he feels old because Christian settled down. Christian, our gay brother who is a total loner. Honestly I was so surprised to find out he was straight. Even mom was. When we were teenagers mom would always tell Christian she loved him no matter what. And that we loved him and we will always love an accept you. He just rolled his eyes but she was making it clear that we still would love him. And we would but looking back now it's funny. I mean what would your parents say if you said your gay? Are you gay?" Did I really just ask that. Oh my god I'm a loser a complete and total loser. He's looking at me like I'm some joke and smiling. Is he going to laugh at me yet?

"No Mia I'm not gay." He's smirking at me. Maybe I should just shut up. I like how he said my name. It sounded so smooth so ... Hot.

"Well good." I said sighing. He starts laughing. "I mean for women out there that's good for them. Because then they have a chance to sleep with you. I mean after, you know they get to know you. Not that it matters because you're kind of amazing and any girl would be lucky to sleep with you." He laughs even harder. Damn those drugs must have turned off my brain to mouth filter. "We should head inside." I suggest awkwardly. I mentally smack my forehead as he follows me inside.

"Mia I have to be honest with you." He says grabbing my hand. "I don't really cook." He said embarrassed.

"Well can you order or should I?" I say.

"I can do it. You should go say hi to your parents." I go upstairs and find my parents sleeping. I should wake them but mom must be pretty tired to be sleeping in the middle of the day. I go to my bathroom and take a look in the mirror. Damn I look like shit. I brush my hair and change into some jeans and a fitted top. Shit I don't want him to think I'm desperate. And I have a boyfriend. But I still want to look good. I change into some tight yoga pants and a cropped top that goes off the shoulder.

I must have taken longer than I thought because the food and arrived by the time I went downstairs.

"Oh thanks for getting food." I say when I get behind him.

"Don't worry about it. It's part of my job." He says chuckling.

"Is it really?"

"Well I'm sure it's somewhere in my contract that I have to do anything you want. Anything your brother wants anyways."

"Is that miserable. Being his personal slave?" I ask bluntly.

"It's not miserable. I mean there are other things I'd rather be doing but for now that's what I want. Maybe one day I'll get sick of it."

"So Luke. Tell me about yourself." I say sitting down in the breakfast bar with him.

"Well I live in Seattle. I work for the Christian grey."

" I know that. Tell me something new."

"Why do you want to know me?" He eyes me.

"Because I think that you and I could be pretty good friends. But see you know all about me, being friends with someone means that it goes both ways. So you tell me about you and I'll listen because chances are that you know everything about me. Am I right?"

"Everything Mr. Grey has allowed us to know." For the next two or three hours we talk and it's comfortable. This could be the only person who has talked more than I have. Or maybe it feels that way. I don't know what it is about Luke that makes me so comfortable. He told me about how he met Taylor. He, Ryan and Reynolds are all ex marines. About his family that lives in another state. How their apartment has no furniture besides the kitchen and his bed. He said it's because they started working so soon for my brother that they didn't have time to settle. And he's required to work long hours so he's not in the mood to take care of things when he gets home. I talk to him about Paris. I lived there for about a year training and now that I'm done with school I'm not really sure what I want to do. Mom put me in charge of the upcoming coping together Christmas event so that should keep me busy. You never really know how much work something takes until you have to do it. I told him about why my parents started the charity and he listens patiently.

I was flirting. Not a discrete flirting. It was those obvious types where I giggle like an idiot at everything he says. Then I move closer to him touch his arm. When I stop to think about it, it's really embarrassing that I'm acting this way. Then I realize he's not pulling away so either he's being polite or he likes it. But he likes it. I could tell because he's constantly moving hair out of my face. God every time I feel his fingers touch my skin I get goosebumps. He gives me his jacket so that I won't have to walk upstairs because it's cold. It's very big on me. He has very wide shoulders so it makes sense. I offer him some cheesecake which he accepts with the exception that I eat some too.

"I would but there's only one piece left." I tell him.

"Then you take it."

"Just share. Unless you're not okay with that." I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Okay." He smiles a wide smile. Of course there's another piece, I just wanted an excuse to be closer to him. Which worked. It worked very well. This moment could not be more cliché. I don't care though because after a few minutes of eating and talking he pressed his lips against mine. There's a reason people use lips to show they have feelings for another person. Lips have more nerve endings making the sensation so much more intense. This isn't my first kiss, but it might as well be. I immediately put my fingers on his head fulling lightly on his hair. His hands did the same. He knew what he was doing. You can always tell the difference between a guy who's experience and one who isn't, and judging by how his lips and his tongue moved he knew exactly what to do.

"Mia. Miss grey I don't think this is a good idea." He said pulling back resting his head against my own. Miss Grey? Great so that's what he thought of me. "I don't... Mia you're already in a relationship." He reminded me. I pulled back. He was right. Just because I'm not into Ethan as much as I was a few months ago doesn't mean that I should be kissing someone else.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I don't even know what I was thinking." I see his face fall. "I mean I want to but it's just wrong. Ethan and I are together."

"Mia I want to kiss you. But I'm not that kind of man to take someone's woman. And I work for your brother. It will never work."

"Right and I'm with Ethan. Even though I want you that doesn't mean I should forget about him." Luke left shortly after that. I odors know why but it pissed me off that he could leave so easily. Like I didn't matter. When mom woke up she was surprised to see me home. I was angry all day but everyone just passed it as me being angry about what happened. And I was but I didn't want to think about it. It's just easier this way.

I must have been exhausted because I slept for over twelve hours that night. And when I woke up all I could think about was Luke and that one kiss. He basically consumed all my thought for the next few days. When Ana was feeling better I went to see her at Escala. Luke greeted me at the door that Sunday. It was Taylor's day off.

"Um. You're brother is... Busy. He and Mrs. Grey should be out shortly." He says awkwardly.

"Don't do that. The awkward thing. It's horrible. I get it you're not into me. Which is fine. I don't hate you for it but you don't have to treat me like I'm some girl you aren't going to call, I mean it was one kiss. That's all it's not like we dated so you don't have to be weird with me. Just act like you used to."

"Mia. I'm not trying to be awkward. He really is just busy." He says emphasizing the last word giving me a look that says that I should know what he means. Busy. He's busy, with Ana. Ok great too much info. But I can't help but smile at him.

"Ok good." I say because I don't know what else to say. Christian is always busy. He tries to hide it but Ana is no help. Her face is flushed when ever he whispers something to her which shows that they are up to some thing. I can't even be mad because I've never seen him so happy. One day I'll get sick of their PDA but until then I'll let it be. I'm just jealous. But can you blame me? They're all in love and happy. "Busy." I repeat.

"Yes."

"I'll go get him." I joke walking past Luke. I just want to see what he does. He gets in front of me body blocking my path.

"Mia. You don't want to go up there. They're having sex." He says looking down at me.

"I know I just wanted to see your reaction. Lighten up. Come have a drink with me." I grab his tie pulling him after me. He could easily say no but he hasn't so I'll just go along.

"How's Ethan?" He asks me when I sit on the counter with whine. He's watching me.

"We haven't talked in a few days." I tell him. I take a drink from my glass of wine without breaking eye contact.

"Did you break up?" I shrug. "Do you have feelings for him?" He says crossing his arms over his chest.

"Not really no." I admit.

"Then why are you with him?" He asks leaning in the counter.

"At first I did but he's always so busy. And he's boring. All he talks about is psychology. When he talks. He treats me like a patient. But now it's because we have siblings who are engaged. I don't want to cause more problems with Kate and Elliot."

"So when are you going to break up with him?"

"Do you want me to break up with him?" I say smiling sweetly at him. He shifts looking down.

"I... Meant how long can you stay with someone until you get tired. Don't get me wrong it's very selfless of you to consider their relationship but one day it will be too much. You're a beautiful person Mia. You shouldn't have to settle just to spare other's feelings." I couldn't help myself. I really couldn't. Or maybe I didn't want to. As soon as he stopped speaking I got off the counter and pulled his face down to mine. I kissed him like my life depended on it. I pushed him so his back was against the wall. It's like I couldn't get close enough. Suddenly he pushed back until I was leaning back slightly on the counter. This was hot. A hot kiss that really never happens in real life. Oh god I don't want to stop ever. But I do need to breathe. I pulled back but his lips only moved to my jaw and my neck. As soon as I was breathing again I kiss him again. No one should ever have that much power over me. But he does and I barely know him. I don't even remember when he lifted me on the counter. All I registered was sitting down. He kissed my skin but I didn't want that. I want his lips on mine.

His hands slid down my thighs to my ankles only to pull them apart. He stepped away from me. I was breathless and horny as hell. Confused as hell. He just walked out. Did that really just happen? Suddenly I hear Luke talking to Christian and Ana. So that's why he stopped. Ugh my brother is such a buzz kill. I fix my hair as much as possible and jump off the counter getting back to the wine glass.

"Mia." Christian says seriously.

"Ana I heard you were doing well." I say walking up to her hugging her tightly. Maybe too tightly because Christian growls at me. Always so protective.

"I am." She says.

"What are you doing here Mia?" Christian asks taking my wine.

"I wanted to thank Ana. For risking her life for me. I apologize for not calling. It's the first time mom has let me out of her sight. You know how worried she has been. I'm doing better though." I tell him sweetly.

"Yes we have spoken. Did you come alone?" He asks looking at the foyer.

"No of course not. I have Reynolds. He's in the lobby."

"He's in Taylor's quarters sir. He arrived 22 minutes ago." Sawyer telling him. "Will you need anything else?"

"No Sawyer. Mrs. Grey will be here the rest of the afternoon. If Ryan is here, you may leave." He says dismissing him.

"Thank you sir. I'll see you tomorrow." He nods at me.

"Well I just came by for that. To say thank you. I'll leave now." I hug Ana good bye then Christian lingering more than usual. "I'm glad she's well. You need her." He looks lovingly at Ana who is no doubt blushing. I kiss his cheek than use the excuse to find Reynolds to follow Luke. I just need to talk to him. Not about anything in particular but just see him. I needed to see him. I walk in the staff quarters and Luke and two other men are talking. Their conversation stops when they see I came in. They smile at me then look at each other.

"We're going to go change a light bulb somewhere. That should take five minutes." Says Reynolds smiling at me.

"Have dinner with me." He says abruptly.

"Yes." I say instantly. I smile at him.

"Tonight. My place." He says with out room for questions.

"You don't have furniture." I remind him.

"Then go buy some with me right now. You don't have plans right?"

"I have to get ready for dinner tonight." I say smirking.

"You're beautiful Mia. Already." He says walking forward caressing my cheek.

"How about I make dinner at your place and you buy the furniture." I say placing my hands on his chest.

"Yes." He reaches into his pocket taking a key from his many set of keys. "I'll text you the address. I'll see you tonight."

"Reynolds?" He shouts without breaking eye contact. "She's ready to go home." I could tell Reynolds wants to say something by he keeps his mouth shut. I get home changing my outfit.

"Mia. Where are you going? It's late." Mom says as I'm holding the doorknob to head out.

"I have a date." I tell her.

"Oh. Be safe dear. Take security with you." She reminds me before hugging me. Lately she hugs me every time she leaves a room.

"I'm okay mom. I'll see you later. And I'll text as much as I can."

"Please do. You know how I worry." She says looking at me. "Tell Ethan I said hello." She says as I walk out. I stop mid-step. Ethan. I call him. He doesn't pick up as usual. I suddenly feel guilty. I'm cheating. I'm a cheater. I go to sawyer's house anyways.

I made him a French dish that I learned. It's pretty amazing actually. He gets home smiling at me. I smile too but then realize that I'm cheating.

"So I couldn't get it delivered today but I brought some chairs and I thought we could eat at the breakfast bar. You okay?"

"Yes... No. I don't think I can do this. I mean I want to but regardless of how I feel this isn't fair to Ethan. I'm sorry. I made you dinner. So I'm just going to go. But enjoy it." I say kissing his cheek before stepping out.

"Mia stay. We can have dinner. Nothing will happen. I'll ever sit arms length from you. I'll talk about my ex. I'll talk about hot women. I won't hold out a chair. Or offer you a drink. I'll be a complete man. Stay as a friend. Have dinner with me." I look at his hazel eyes. He looks so honest and despite my better judgement I stay.

He does everything he said he would do. Even when I asked if he could get me a drink he just pointed in the right direction. We sat talking for the longest time and I didn't feel as guilty, but he's right I have to end things with Ethan. I just can do this anymore.

Well I had planned to break up with him but truth be told I kept putting it off. The next month I saw him twice where we went to the usual restaurant and once when we had a dinner for Kate. That night I was going to do it but as usual something came up.

"Kate I heard you started working. How has it been?" My mother asks during dinner. everything has been going well tonight. No bickering on Kate and Elliot's part. Christian and Ana aren't sucking faces. and Kate is actually being really nice to dad. Not that she's rude but she is actually going out of her way to talk to everyone.

"It's going well but I'm more focused on the wedding lately. My mom has narrowed down the guest list. It should be a medium sized wedding. And I was thinking that the colors should be pink and black." She went on and on about the wedding. I was actually really excited. I loved weddings.

We all hear Elliot laughing next to her. "She asked about work not the wedding." He says taking a drink. He's right so I join in his laughter but he must have commited some crime because Kate is pissed.

"Well it's hard to think about work when I have a wedding to plan. I'd like for our wedding to be perfect. But you obviously don't care about anything that concerns me." She says angrily at him. The table is completely silent. Christian looks like he has a lot to say but probably won't. He much more quiet.

"Kate you should worry about the marriage not the wedding." He says.

"It's a lot of people going."

"How many guests for your family?" I ask trying to steer them from their growing argument.

"500 so that gives you about 100." Ana nearly spits out her water. Holy shit-

"Six hundred people? Are you fucking kidding me? That has to be a joke. Why do six hundred people need to go? Who's going?" Elliot says what I'm sure most people at this table are thinking.

"Because I want them there."

"Well baby do me a favor and go through that list again. Take off the people you haven't even talked to or seen in the last month." He says in a voice that is joking but he's dead serious.

"Excuse me?" She says.

"You heard me. I'm not having this fucking circus as a wedding you're crazy."

"Or what? It's not like you're paying for it. It my dad's money they can spend it however they want."

"That's not what this is about." He says seriously.

"Then what does it matter. Elliot. What are you not going to marry me if I don't do what you say?" She asks jokingly. She rolls her eyes taking a sip of her wine. When he doesn't say anything she gapes at him. "Are you fucking joking?" She nearly shouts. Everyone in the table is looking at their plate unsure of what to do.

"Just cut it down Kate. I don't think that's too much to ask for."

"Maybe it is." She fired back at him. "Maybe I want a big wedding and you're ruining it!" Oh god she's so annoying.

"I'm fucking ruining it. You're-"

"Elliot that's enough." Mom says clearly exasperated. "Maybe you should talk about this later. When you are at your home. Can we please just finish dinner without any more arguing." She says resting her head on her hand.

Suddenly Kate throws her napkin on her plate and pushes her chair back causing it to screech on the wood floor. She walks away and Ethan excuses him self. She's a bitch. Honestly how Elliot my carefree, fun brother ever fell for her I'll never know. It's probably the sex what else could it be? She doesn't want kids, he does. She could care less about his work yet he always worries about everything she does. He has dinner with mom and dad at least once a week she never talks about her family. Or at least that's what Elliot tells me.

"I'm going to take her home." Ethan says when he comes back a few minutes later. He gives us all a nod and apologizes for her behavior This week, I'll break up with him this week.

"You wanna talk about it bro?" I say walking into Elliot's room later that evening.

"Nah. She'll get over it." He says brushing it off. I can see it bothers him but I don't want to pry. That's a lie yes I do.

"Are you happy with her because every time I see you two she's yelling at you and you just kind of take it. All our lives you have been the sibling that stands up for us not taking shit from someone. So I don't get why you take her crap. And you just don't seem happy anymore. Maybe the first month or so with her but I always thought that engaged couples are happy their entire engagement or am I wrong? Maybe I watch too much chick flicks. Not that I'll stop watching them but maybe I have high expectations in my love department."

"You know Mia sometimes when you talk you go into these rants where you talk a lot. It fucking adorable or annoying. Now it's in between. I love you little brat but I'm not sure of what you want to know." He says laying down on his bed.

"Are you happy with her?" I ask. Joining him in the bed. He puts his arm out and I lay on the side of his chest.

"I'm thirty years old Mia. I have to settle down sometime. I want kids and a wife. I've lived the single life, fucking everyone that interests me. Sewn my wild oats. Don't get me wrong it's fun but I don't want to look back and think that's all I've ever done. Fucking is easy. But I want more. Does that make me sound like a fucking chick?" He asks leaning down to look at me.

"No. You're human. And you deserve all those things."

"You will too. I can't believe Christian, our damn gay brother beat us to it. I thought at least you would be first." He says making me giggle. I can't stop the full laugh that comes out of me when I realize he's right. He joins in. Once we go quiet again the realization of what he says hit me.

"You know. In what you just said you told me what you want but you didn't mention Kate." I point out.

"She loves me I guess. She has her bad days but she isn't so bad. The past two months she's been difficult but We'll get back to where we were. And I think that she'll come around to wanting kids one day." I'm not sure even he believes that.

"And if she doesn't. What happens? You'll get a divorce?" I ask quietly.

"Maybe it won't come to that."

"You don't sound so convinced." I tell him. He scoffs.

"I'm not. I love her though." I really don't believe him. I don't think he believes it either but he has to. I have to give him credit for trying so hard with her. She's a lucky girl.

"So I'm thinking maybe I could have lunch with her this week. Just to see where she's at and report back to you. If you're set on marrying her the least I could do. She's going to be my sister after all."

"Thanks brat." I slap his chest. He knows I hate when he calls me brat. "So what's going on with you and Kavanagh?" He asks looking at the ceiling.

"Ugh nothing Elliot." I really don't need him to worry.

"When are you gonna dump the bastard? Or is he gonna dump you?" He says laughing.

"What?"

"Grandpa and I made a bet on who will dump who. I said you would dump him. So if you could actually do it I'll be very thankful. I'll take you to dinner with the money I'll win."

"What?" I said again.

"Come on don't pretend you actually like him. You could do so much better. You've been together what three months and seen each other maybe 10 times. And half of those times were because of family obligations he had with Kate. He's a nice enough guy but he's too serious for you. You like to be out and enjoy life. Find someone like you. Just less annoying." He says laughing. I can't help but join in though.

"You're a jerk." I tell him standing up. We have to go back downstairs soon.

"Maybe but you still love me." He says putting me in a headlock. When I manage to pull away he just picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and carries me to the living room. I stop the shrieking when we see mom on the phone. It must be the hospital. She has her brows close together. She always does that when somethings wrong.

"What's going on?" I ask when she hangs up.

"They just brought in a five-year old with extensive bruising on her legs and arms. They say she's pretty malnourished. Maybe a few broken bones." She says sadly. Every time she sees patients like that she thinks of Christian.

"Five-year old?" Elliot asks trying to make conversation.

"Yes a little girl. Social worker brought her in. She called me. The girl isn't much of a talker. And she hit a nurse when they tried to treat her. I'm much better at these cases. Anyways I should go." She says looking away.

"Well I'm on my way out. I'll drop you off. And you can call me when you want me to bring you home." Elliot offers.

"I don't want to bother you Elliot. Besides I do have my own car." She says.

"Maybe I just want to hangout with you?" He says. Mom smiles and nods her head. "Besides I have no other responsibilities. I'm a free man." He says as they walk out.

* * *

**This is the first of two parts that are Mia's side of things. There will be more Luke next chapter. What other event should I cover in this flash back? Let me know. Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry it took so long. I'll do one last chapter of Mia and then back to Lina.**

* * *

"Grey residence." Says a voice on the phone. Oh go she can't be serious. Elliot brings home a random girl when he just got custody of a five year old. A five year old that I haven't met, yet. He's had her for maybe what three, four days and is already fucking the other half of Seattle he hasn't yet fucked.

"Can I speak to Elliot?" I ask in a snarky tone. I don't mean to be rude but my brother can be such an idiot sometimes.

"He's upstairs. Do you want to wait or I can have him call you back when he gets downstairs." She says politely. Fine I'll play the polite sister.

"I'll call back later." I say hanging up. When is later, 2 am? It's already 11 pm. Shouldn't he be sleeping or having the little girl asleep. And where the hell is Kate?

An hour later he calls back. "What did you want brat?" He says surprisingly cheery.

"I just wanted to know how you were holding up."

"I'm fine Mia. She's fine. Everything is good." He says robot like.

"Ok good I just want to make sure she's okay. How's Kate? Are you two fighting again. You shouldn't fight with her in front of the girl. What's her name anyways? And who answered the phone? Oh my god are you cheating on Kate?"

"Mia! Shut up one question at a time. Shit I'll just see you this weekend. She's waking up."

"No I'll wait. I have nothing to do tonight anyways." We'll not anymore. I went out earlier with Luke. We went out to try some new restaurant that he's been wanting to try. And just like he promised weeks ago he's been a total man about taking me out. Besides the fact he won't let me pay. He won't even open the door for me. Hell, he just laughs when I crash into the door because I expect him to open it. It's kind of a jerk thing to do but he's keeping his distance. And he's pretty funny. He and Elliot would get along.

"Fine. I'll call back in a few minutes."

I sit looking at my phone waiting for something. I answer before it has a chance to end the first ring.

"Ok what's her name?" I start off.

"Isabelle."

"Why was she waking up at night?" Shouldn't kids her age be sleeping all night?

"She gets nightmares or starts to cry asking for her mom. It's okay I can handle it." He says simply. I believe that he can. Besides being this huge guy Elliot has the biggest heart.

"Kate?" I question him.

"She left. I asked her to." He says sighing.

"Left where?" I ask trying to contain my excitement.

"I don't know. I asked to to leave. She didn't want me to take custody of Isabelle so we broke up." I really want to sound excited and celebrate but I have to act cool.

"Oh I'm sorry lelliot. I'm sure if you talk to her..." I have to consider his feelings. I can celebrate later by myself but he did love her and I might as well be compassionate.

"Cut the bullshit Mia. You can be excited." He says chuckling. I join in the laughter. He knows me so well. "And you can break up with Ethan now. So grandpa can give me my money." He says joking.

"And you can take me to dinner." I comment playing along with his stupid jokes.

"Take you? No. You should have done it weeks ago now I have a child to raise. I'll put that to her college fund." He says laughing.

"So that's it, no more Kate?" I ask.

"No more. She has to pick up a few things on Tuesday but until then I won't see her. Feel free to celebrate." He says clearing his throat.

"Elliot are you okay?" I ask cautiously.

"Yea why wouldn't I be?" He's so casual about things.

"She was your fiancé?"

"Mia you and I both know it wouldn't have worked. I was just too stupid to admit it."

"Who answered the phone?" I ask changing the subject.

"Oh Isabelle's social worker. We had to buy Isabelle some things and she helped me out?"

"You could have told me."

"Yea but she's hot. Nice perky tits and everything. She's... Yea..." He says. What a pig. I was right. Sawyer and I knew he would be fucking the next person he could as soon as Kate was gone.

"Did you have sex with her social worker?"

"No, she's not like that. Be nice brat."

"You're defending a woman's honor? Whoa she must be really hot. I bet you kissed her though." I say laying in bed. Why do I feel like this night is going to be long? At least he's fun to talk to.

"She is. She's... I don't know. She looks like one of those people who have shit to hide. Not like a criminal record but she looks borderline depressed. But other than that she's pretty nice." We spent an hour on the phone just talking about his day. I have to admit that he sounds pretty happy. Happier than he has been in a while.

When I did finally meet little Isabelle she was pretty shy but she opened up to me easily. She cried when Christian tried to talk to her but he has an intimidating factor which isn't so good. He did try to make it up to her so he played her a few songs on the piano. She smiled but when he looked at her, her smile disappeared, like she was afraid that he would see her. But she couldn't hide it well enough.

I've been seeing Luke for our casual dinners for a while. The weekend that Elliot told me he and Kate broke up I went to Ethan's apartment unannounced. There wasn't much to it really. I told him that I didn't think we would work out. He said he didn't really get why. He actually thought our relationship was going great. I almost started laughing. Almost but not quite.

"Are you working?" I asked Luke later that day.

"Yes." Luke said on the phone. I needed to tell him. I don't know if he would care but I just had to see him.

"Are you mad at me?" He was giving me short answers not even trying to talk to me.

"No Taylor." He said emphasizing the Taylor.

"Are you with my brother."

"Yes I'm with Mr. Grey we are on route to Escala."

"Oh should I call back later?" I ask him.

"No. My shift ends in a few minutes. No... I'll be staying at my apartment Taylor. I'll see you when I get there." He says. Okay so he wants me at his place. That's kind of perfect.

"I'll see you then. Bye Luke."

"Taylor." He says shortly and hangs up. That's kind of hot. The whole sneaking around. I get my things ready and rush to his place being escorted by Reynolds.

"Where to Miss Grey?" He asks me as soon as I step out.

"Your place." I say winking at him.

"Miss Grey this isn't my place to say but be careful. Your brother is a very possessive and powerful man. That's a bad combination. If this thing with Luke is not serious just stop it because you could ruin him. In many ways." He adds giving me a knowing look.

I know that there are dozens of other guys I could have but there's something about Luke and I. We feel so natural and easy. And the sexual tension is ridiculous. Maybe it's because I know we both shouldn't do any thing about it. I think that's what Reynolds meant.

Some how Luke arrived to his apartment much faster than I did. Reynolds let me know that if I needed to leave to call but otherwise Luke would watch over me.

"Hey you're early. I thought there would be traffic. You look nice." He says eyeing me as I step inside. He nods at Reynolds before closing the door.

"I broke up with Ethan." I tell him quickly before nerves get the best of me.

"Oh." He look around awkwardly. There is no way I was reading him wrong so why isn't he happy or something. "I'm sorry. Do you want something like ice cream? Or to talk? Isn't that what girls do when they break up?" I shake my head. Why would I come be upset with him. Not that I am upset but he's so slow to think that I need comfort.

I take a slow step closer to him. "Luke I broke up with Ethan." He cocks his head to the side looking at me. Can't he see that I want him.

"Oh." He says moving his head back when it hits him. "Oh, good." He says as a smile slowly creeps on his face.

"Yea... I just wanted to tell you."

"I'm glad you did." Relief rushes through me.

"Good I honestly thought that I was making a mistake by coming here. I didn't want to embarrass myself any more than I already with you. Like when I asked you if you were gay I should have known that you're not but for some reason I couldn't stop myself. It wasn't even that I thought you were I just needed to say something and that was the only logically thing. Anyways I'm glad that you know because ...why are you smiling?" He looks at me chuckling.

"Because you're adorable Mia." He says as he cups my cheeks.

"Adorable? I would have hoped you think I'm hot. I mean adorable is nice but that's like you think I'm your sister and I would like to think that I'm more than a family figure than that."

"Well you are, adorable." He kisses the corner of my mouth. "You're a lot more than adorable. You're hot and sexy and a lot of other things but I can't really think right now knowing that I can actually have you now."

I close my eyes enjoying the contact of his thumb with my cheek. Before I know it his lips are on mine and I respond, eagerly. More eagerly than is suitable but I can't help my self to him.

I've never had this. I've never had some one kiss me like this. His hands move to my back pushing me harder against his body. No, never like this. How could I have gone so many years without knowing what a kiss like this felt like. For the first time it's as if he's holding nothing back as his tongue explores my mouth and when I need to catch my breathe his mouth moves to my neck sucking and nipping lightly. He moves lower until he's at the edge of my shirt. We could definitely keep going I know we both want to but is this the right time?

"We either stop now or keep going Mia. I want to respect you but I don't know if I have control if we keep going. What's it going to be? We can wait if that's what you want." He says placing his lips on my forehead.

"I want to keep going. I just need some wine." I say looking down.

"Why do you need wine? If you don't want to it's okay I'm not going to force you. You're my friend Mia you should know me better than that." Friend? Is that all I am?

"You make me nervous. I don't want to disappoint you."

"If sex is bad it's because both people aren't doing it right Mia. So if the sex between us isn't good I'm just as responsible. You and I have had this tension building for months all you had to do was break up with Ethan. And you did so now the only thing holding me back from making you mine is you." He says in his usual mysterious tone.

"Yours?"

"I want you. In every sense possible. I intend to show you when you'll let me." He steps forward until I'm on the armrest of the couch. "Mine. I won't share Mia. There's a very real possibility that if I have you I won't let you go." He looks as if he's just admitted something very big.

"Yours." I confirm. "I'm yours." I say before getting completely lost in him. It was easy being with him. Sex was easy. It came natural to me to be with him. He was by no means letting me take control of the situation but he also was force full. It was almost as if we were both fighting equally. He let me take control but he was also willing to show me what he wanted from me. I would touch him and he would respond with his body. And that worked both ways. I loved every second of it. But when I came he was not far behind. Everything about him was perfect. The ways he kissed every inch of my skin. The way his skin felt against mine. How his body responded to me. You always think that you do things so that your partner can feel turned on but it was almost absurd that I made him sound the way he did. That I was the reason he was breathing hard. I was the one driving crazy and moving in ways that pleased him as much as they did. My body was what he was so turned on by. He was a god so it's no surprise that I enjoyed it but to know that me, with little experience being intimate with someone, caused a man, because that's what he was a man, to lose control the way he did was probably the most amazing thing ever.

"God Mia." He said breathing into the crook of my neck. "You are amazing Mia."

"We are amazing." I said.

"No that was... Fuck that was good. Really fucking good." He kissed my skin. I felt sticky from the thin layer of sweat that our bodies had acquired in the last few hours. His body weight was on me and it wasn't uncomfortable. It was comforting. I needed to feel him as much as possible. How the hell do I get up after this.

He rolls over so that he is laying beside me. He's on his side and moves me so my back is to his front. I wasn't expecting this intimacy. "Thank you." I tell him. Thank you? Did I really say thank you. People only say that when sex is done as a favor. When it's a one time thing. There is no way I want this to be a one time thing. I want more. I want him more than one day.

"How long are you staying here?" He asks when he kisses my shoulder.

"I don't know I never told anyone I was coming. Besides Reynolds."

"Call your parents or who ever. Tell them you'll be home late and Reynolds is with you. You aren't leaving. Not because I want to fuck you because you..." He pushes my shoulder so I'm flat on the mattress. "Are mine." I smile against his lips. I call my mom telling her that I'm with a friend and we are going shopping them the movies so I'll be home late. I hate having to lie and sneak around but I want this to be serious before we have to tell Christian something.

"So does that mean you're mine?" I ask as we eat pizza half naked later that day.

"Yea I guess I am." He says taking pizza on a plate to Reynolds who's in his room. Earlier we told him to come in. We felt bad that he was sitting in the car outside of his own home. He's giving us alone time.

"I don't share." I tell him.

"You won't need to. You're all I need." He says running his finger tip on the inside of my thigh.

And he was all I needed. The next few weeks passed by quickly. I'd spend as much time with Luke as I could. He had Taylor work his schedule so that the days he had off were days when I wasn't planning the coping together Gala. Taylor didn't know but Ryan and Reynolds did. Reynolds got the flu for a week so he had to take the time off. I told Ana that Ryan wouldn't cooperate with me when I wanted to go shopping so we switched CPOs for the week. Luke and I went to California that week with Maynard. She was pretty cool actually. She said that if she didn't see anything then she wouldn't have to lie to Taylor. So we acted like a couple, who didn't participate in PDA, when she was with us. Which was easy considering we spent a lot of time in our hotel room. We were making up for lost time.

I found out Elliot was dating the social worker when we got back. I was kind of unsure of why until I met her for lunch. Elliot begged me to get to know her so I agreed. Then she told me that Elliot said I asked her to meet me. I know he does that but then I felt bad because she so easily agreed when I had to practically be dragged. It was that I didn't want Elliot to date, I just thought that he should stop the fucking and settle down. When I met her I understood how he so easily fell for her. She's a sweetheart. Exactly what my former playboy badass brother needed. And she's so good with Isabelle.

I told her about Luke. I didn't mean to but she was like Elliot in a girl version, except maybe a little more serious. She listened the entire time and even asked about him. What he was like, how we met, things that a girlfriend would ask. I'm terrible at secrets. I hate them. So it was nice to finally be able to talk to someone about my relationship. In California Luke and I talked and he told me that he was serious about us. It wasn't a big dinner or romantic walk on the beach it was just us watching tv in bed when he looked at me.

"I love you." He said. I thought I'd be dramatic and what not but I wasn't.

"I love you too Luke." I said simply. That's how it was. Besides the hiding we were simple. We just enjoyed each other. And he made me happy. He smiled just before kissing me. His hand squeezed my thighs as I moved to straddle him. Just when things were getting good his phone went off. We made it a point to always answer our phones or else people would suspect. It was Christian, he wanted to know what I was doing and that I was cooperating with security. Which Luke says that I was being very cooperative. He used a neutral tone though because Christian would suspect and things are getting good I don't need the extra drama.

"I don't want you to lie to anyone anymore." He said as he hung up. I was still naked straddling him. I sat back on his legs.

"What?"

"I'm tired of us pretending that we aren't together. This sneaking around, it hot and exciting but you're lying to everyone about where you go who you talk to. We can't even talk on the phone without being scared of your brother. I don't want that. I want to be with you. Really be with you. I'm not saying this, what we are doing now isn't real, I love you. You shouldn't have to lie to people about that." He pushes my hair away from my face. "Mia." He says my name as if he's worried.

"I don't want to lie either. I'm tired too I just never said anything because you could...no, you will lose your job."

"Baby I can get a new one. Don't worry about that. I love you." I smile shyly at him.

"We should start with our parents." I suggest putting my hands behind his neck.

"My parents know. Yours don't."

"Yo told your parents about me?" I ask surprised.

"Yes." He says as if it's the most simple thing in the world.

"We should tell mine. We can go on Saturday." And with that we set a plan to tell my family. I had it planned out. First my parents then Elliot and Christian last. Luke was fully aware that he would have to get a new job a new place to live because the apartment where he and his friends lived was paid for by Christian. I felt selfish knowing he would lose so much but I wanted him and he said that he wanted this too.

"How was California?" Elliot asked as he Christian and I all sat down for dinner that Friday night.

"Amazing. You should take Lina." I say trying to contain my smile. I couldn't help but to think about all the amazing sex I had. But thinking about all the sex I had just reminds me of how horny I am. So I text Luke asking him if he can take a quick bathroom break. He says yes and Taylor and him switch spots while he goes. I excuse my self and go into the woman's bathroom.

"Hey I just wanted to see-" I'm cut off when he pushes me on the wall trapping my hands over my head. With his other hand he's pushing up my skirt until it bunched up at my hips. He inserts a finger inside me moving it around my walls. My knees go weak so he stops and lifts me so my legs are around his hips. He sets me on the sink and runs his hands on my thighs before moving to the inside of my legs and closer to where I need him. Just as he's about to touch me there he's pulled off of me. "Christian stop it! Let him go!" I scream as my brother repeatedly hits my boyfriend. Luke isn't even trying to stop him. He's blocking but not fighting back. Not that he would. This is my brother and Luke respects that. But I don't want him to, not now. Not when he's getting hurt. "Elliot stop him!" I say looking at my asshole brother who is basically just watching. Just then security walks in and pulls Christian off Luke. "Are you okay?" I ask as I kneel in front of Luke. I grab some wet paper towels and wash off the blood coming from his nose and lip. He winces and I feel responsible for this. I should this is my fault. "I'm so sorry." I say as tears roll down my face. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you hit him?" I scream at Christian.

"He was taking advantage of you!" He says pointing at Luke as he pushes off the security.

"He wasn't. I told him to come in here. I love him. And you're being an ass. More than usual." I feel Christian grab my arm but I push him away. "Let go." I yell at him before focusing on Luke again. "We have to get you stitches for your cheek." I whisper when I see that the bleeding hasn't stopped. Christian says something to Taylor but I'm not paying attention. Before I register anything Christian throws me over his shoulder as if I weigh nothing. He manages to drag me outside and in his car.

"Sit in the fucking car Mia. Don't you dare move a fucking finger or else I'll tie you down understand." He says yelling at me. He never yells at me. Not like this anyways.

I see as he gets Ana in the car and says something on the phone. I know I should get out and see Luke but I'm to afraid to move.

As we start driving away I realize how stupid I am for leaving like that. I'm an adult and perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I shouldn't be here scared I should be with Luke making sure he's okay. When we stop at a red light Christian has finally shut up. He's been giving me a lecture on something about how what I was doing was wrong. The car wasn't moving. Christian was driving and it was just us elliot and Ana in the car. That's all. Before i had time to think I unlocked the door and ran.

I went into a building and looked back to see that no one was following me. How could they. Christian made all his guys stay back with Luke and he wouldn't leave Ana in the car alone. I thought about going back to the restaurant but that's the first place they'd look.

I had to use my phone to look up Lina's address and printed a picture of directions at a coffee shop. I took no more than five minutes and left my phone. I know Christian would find it. Two hours. That's how long it took to get to her freaking apartment. Luckily she welcomed me so the walk wasn't for nothing.

She helped me find Luke and he was sleeping when I walked in. I had to hold in a sob. This was my fault. I did this. I touched his hand and he woke up instantly.

"I'm so sorry." I said as I sat on the edge of his bed. He shook his head.

"It's not your fault I should have been more careful. We were gone a long time." I heard that Lina was talking to Elliot and I was scared but then she said something about them leaving and I relaxed.

"It's my fault too. I shouldn't have pushed the limits so much. I should have known. I'm so sorry Sawyer. Why didn't you fight back. You shouldn't have let him just hit you." I said looking at the stitches he had on his head.

"He's your brother Mia. You love him and I couldn't."

"You should have. I love you too."

"I know. It doesn't matter anymore. I love you. Let's just move on from this." Besides the fact that this yesterday, because it's past midnight, was crap I couldn't help feel happy that we could move on. I thought that would end it.

"I'm so sorry." I gently pressed my lips on his careful not to apply too much pressure.

"Stop saying sorry. This isn't your fault." He says wiping away a tear.

"Where is she?" Says Christian as he storms in.

"Leave! Get the hell out of his room you can act like an ass anywhere you want but not here. You're mad, then take it out on someone else because I don't give a shit about you." Where the hell is Lina? She was suppose to be here to warn me about this. She and Elliot come back. That's where they were. I'm about to ask Lina if she can drive us to his place but he's probably banned from there already considering that he lives in a Christian's employee apartment. Maybe I can stay with her. I can't go home. I don't want to leave him. How is it that things came crashing down so easily. Everything was perfect yesterday. Hell a few hours ago. "Leave Christian." I say in a much more calm voice. He says something to Elliot and Taylor then leaves.

If looks could kill Lina would be dead because Elliot is pissed at her. "I'm sorry." She says to me.

"Lina can we drive him home?" She nods and agrees to get her car. Elliot follows her. I thought since Christian was gone things would at least go smoothly but I should have known that wasn't even a possibility. I slapped Elliot. I didn't mean to but I was at the end of my patience. I have to admit that it felt pretty good.

Lina and I talked a little after we got to her house so that was relaxing. Not as good as when I got in bed with Luke though.

"Move in with me?" He said. "I know I'm not helping my case with your family by asking you to but I don't care anymore. Your brothers are going to hate me regardless."

"They'll come around to it." I say unsure.

"I'm sure we both want that but is it true. Mia I love you."

"I'll move in with you. But just rest for now. We can talk tomorrow. And every day after that." I pull up the blanket so that it is covering us completely.

"I'm gonna marry you one day." He says before kissing my temple.

"I know."


	12. Chapter 12

I've been sitting in my car for hours. Literally hours. Ok it has only been forty-five minutes. Christian is inside though. I really don't want to see him. But it's true that if I don't do this now I never will. I called ahead and Gretchen told me that mom was here. Daddy too.

"Come on Mia. Pull it together and grow up." I say to myself as I get out of my car. I'm sure Christian will see me soon and when he does he's going to take my car. I'm worried about that. I'm not stupid I know I need money and he usually provided it. I never asked but he always paid for most of my things. Luke and I are running on pure emotions but soon reality will catch up with us. I don't care so far. I tried to put this off as much as I could but Lina is only so distracting.

It will be easy, just one foot I front of the other. As I'm walking in Christian walks out. He steps in front of me not saying anything.

"Give me the keys." He says simply. It's just a car like is worth way more to me than a stupid car. It's true but reality is coming to me and it's coming in the form of Christian Grey. I take my keys out of my purse and looking at him dead on I hand them to him. He needs to know I'm not budging. I don't need him I have Luke. Okay I love Christian but there's more to my life than all the things he gives me. "You really think you'll be happy with him?" He says in a tone that is meant to insult Luke.

"I've been happy for the last three months. And so far between me and him things keep getting better."

"I hope you know he's fired. Still getting better?" He says trying to intimidate me.

"Here," I say shoving my purse at him. Inside I have my wallet with my credit cards and money. I take the wallet Luke bought for me a few days ago. I remove all my credit cards, bank cards, cash, everything but my license and a key to Lina's apartment. "Take it. If you think I'll leave him for your money or your gifts then I want nothing from you." I say angrily. He just smirks. "Nothing from _you_." I say clarifying. I leave him standing there before he throws another insult at me. Christian is a great person but he also has the ability to make anyone question themselves. I take a moment to sit in the living room where we used to put the Christmas tree. I remember all the good times we had and how we fought but Christian always stood up for me.

I'm grateful to him for giving me everything but it's time for me to grow up. I just wish that I don't have to lose my brothers in the process.

"Tell me what's going on?" Mom says walking in. I give her a sad smile before crying. "Oh Mia. Don't cry. You're not meant to cry. You my happy girl. I hate to see you like this." I hear the emotion in her voice.

"I'm dating Luke Sawyer. He was Ana's CPO. And it's been going on for a few months. We just didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to be fired. And Christian saw us in the bathroom yesterday. We were... Kissing. Anyways he just hit him. Like when he was a kid, I haven't seen him so upset in years. I hate disappointing him mom. He's my brother and I hate that I lied to him but I don't know what to do. I don't want him to hate me. What do I do?" I say as she hands me a few tissues.

"You are essentially his baby Mia. Dear, he has always seen you as the little newborn that came home one day. For a long time you were the center of his world. You had him around your finger. And from what he told me the position he found you, you and Luke was very inappropriate." I'm sure I was blushing. God what did he tell her?

"But he was so harsh. Luke had to get stitched and has a concussion."

"No you're completely right. But you should be more discrete. No one wants to see two people having intercourse in a public restroom."

"We were not having intercourse! We err just touching and yes it was very inappropriate but it wasn't sex sex. It was just.. It wasn't intercourse." I state simply.

"Well do try and restrain all that emotion you two have for each other. Elliot also called me earlier about what's happened in the parking lot. You know better than to physically hit some one." She says.

"That's a double standard." I point out.

"Ok you know better than to hit your brother for unkind words that he said. No just listen. I agree with you. They were dramatic with their reactions but you and Luke are adults you should know better than to have a secret romance. I'm sure it sounds romantic but it was handled completely wrong on both your parts. I expect more from you. And you do have to apologize for how you acted with Elliot. As far as Christian, just give it some time then talk to him. I would hate for things to ruin our holiday season."

"I'll apologize to Elliot soon I promise." I look out the window to the rain.

"Wait why aren't you surprised?" I ask her. Usually she be all over me asking questions and wanting to know who I'm dating, how long, where we met. The whole works.

"Because I saw you and Luke kissing once when he was dropping you off." She says smiling at me. It's her I'm-your-mother-I-know-everything smile she used to always use on us when we tried to lie about where were as teenagers.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I ask completely shocked.

"I talked to Luke. He's a good man. Good for you. I think you'll be happy."

"I already am. He amazing mom."

"He loves you." She says matter of fact.

"He does. Did he tell you that?"

"Mia he said he loved you since he met you."

"When did he actually tell you?" I ask.

"It was a week after you came home from the hospital." That's was before we has sex. Hell that was before I even broke up with Ethan. It was one of those moments when the attraction overpowered my moral judgement.

"I love him." She starts chuckling.

"I know. I can see it. It's beautiful to see." I wrap my arms around her neck like when I was little and just inhale her smell. She always smelled of cookies baking to me. Maybe it's because that was the only thing all three of her kids could do without fighting. "He wants to marry you. He asked for daddy and I's blessing."

"He asked you. Gosh I don't know anything." I say sarcastically.

"Don't be silly. If you knew when he would propose it would ruin everything for you." She knows me well. I've been planning my wedding for years.

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"Because you should know that regardless of your hardheaded brother know your father and I give you our blessing. I'm so happy for you Mia. Just promise not to get married without me there. I couldn't bare it."

"Are you kidding I can't wait. But we have to limit our guest list to five hundred people." I say impersonating Kate. She laughs at me.

"God did we all dodge a bullet when Elliot called off the wedding to that woman."

"He's much happier now or I think so. I think him and Lina got in a fight."

"They'll make it through a fight. They are one of those good couples. They're very alike. I actually set them up on a date once but Lina got called in to the hospital so she had to cancel. And Elliot reluctantly agreed to date someone I approved of but he did it as a favor. If they would have listened to me, they would have been married by now." I couldn't believe her but when I got home Lina confirmed that my mom did set her up on a blind date.

"Just remember that they are still your family. I agree that they do treat you like a child but don't give them reasons to." She says as I'm walking out. I'm glad I went to her. She always knows just what to say to make me feel better. She also says she'll pass on what happened to daddy so I won't have to retell how it was that we were found. When I'm walking out I realize that I don't have a car anymore. I bet Luke doesn't either anymore.

I end up staying at mom's, making dinner here that I'll just take to Luke and Lina. She says that she'll pick me up on her way home.

"Mia actually I remembered that I'm meeting Elliot tonight but I have another car at home. If you and Luke want you can just use it. I don't really use it. Use it as long as you'd like. " She is a gift sent from god honestly. Luke picks me up and we have dinner.

Everything was going pretty well that day until we found Lina in the bathtub that day. She said she was getting out but she looked so upset I wasn't even sure whether or not I could believe her. Luke thought she would have but I wasn't sure. Especially after she broke down yesterday about Elliot. She really loves him. She's so afraid that he will just walk away from her.

"What Mia." He says when I called him that night after she fell asleep.

"You have to make up with Lina." I tell him. I was willing to just ignore him for the next few days but Lina needed him.

"You're really not in a position to tell me what to do." He says seriously.

"Elliot she loves you. Like really loves you. She came home upset that you didn't and how you left her. I know this isn't my business but just talk to her. I think she's good for you. And you love her too I can see it. I know that you hate when people lie or keep things from you but she did it because she was afraid that this would happen. That you would just walk away from her. Lelliot please call her. I'm worried about her." I use his old nickname knowing well that he'll give into it.

"Is she hurting herself?" He shouts into the phone.

"Elliot please. She upset. Very upset. Please talk to her."

"You're right it isn't any of your business." He says just before hanging up. Maybe he's mad at me too. Okay I know he is.

The next day she looked so much better. And later that night she looked nervous. I understood why when she told me Elliot was going to come to dinner. I really didn't want to see him. When Luke talked to me he said that this was good. That way he can see Lina and he can see me.

"We'll all be on our best behavior tonight. And I promise if dinner goes well baby," he says as he starts sucking on my ear. "I will make sure that you'll have a night you won't forget." He says cupping my sex. Promises, promises. At least he actually follows through on them and not some empty words.

After dinner Luke and Lina left us alone so that we could have a moment to talk.

"I'm glad you called." Elliot said to me.

"She loves you. I just wanted to help her. She's done so much for me these last few days."

"She does that. Go out of her way to help people." I nod my head awkwardly. "I don't want to see you and him together. I want you to find someone good. I just don't want to see you two sucking faces. I love you Mia but you'll always be the baby of the family. If he makes you happy then good. I just don't want him to take advantage of you."

"He's not. I know you think I'm just a kid and that's okay. But how you see me and how he sees me are two different ways." He says.

"You'll always be the little brat to me." He says smiling at me. I throw my arms around him.

"Ok let go I want to talk to Lina." He shoves me lightly before he walks up behind her.

"Everything okay with you two?" Luke asks me as he stands in front of me.

"Maybe." I say shrugging.

"Maybe?"

"It's fine. He's having trouble with me growing up."

"I don't see why. You've been growing for years. Let him know that it's too late to stop it."

When Lina moved out Luke and I moved in permanently. We would argue about little things every now and then but most of the time we lived in complete bliss. I had called his family and invited them over for new years.

He would bring up marriage but it was a topic that we talked about as if it was hypothetical. He has been telling me how he wants to get married and I do too but I know better than to think that he would ask me so soon.

"Why are we here?" He was leading me to a restaurant that I've always loved. It wasn't anything special today so it was surprising to be here. We were the only people eating outside which was good because it was much more intimate. And it was dark so the view was great.

"No reason I thought we could all have dinner." He says holding a chair out for me.

"Thank you Luke for including us." Mom says as she and dad take a seat.

"You know it wouldn't be the same without you." He responded. They all chuckled at some inside joke that I was clearly not part off. I enjoyed seeing how well Luke and my dad got along. They talked about dad's case that he had to go to court for earlier. Luke always tried to converse with my parents. He thought that even if my brothers hated him at least my parents had to like him. Which they did. He even took my mom to breakfast last weekend.

"We'll be back." Dad said just before taking my moms hand and kissing my forehead. I can't help but to think that they're up to something.

"Is it me or are they acting weird?" I look at Luke who looks up from his phone.

"They're your parents. You should know how they act more than anyone else. But no they seem fine why? Maybe you're the one acting weird." He says sarcastically.

"Be nice." I tell him as I place a hand on his thigh.

"I am being nice. I invited them here."

"True. Thanks for trying so hard with them."

"Makes you happy." He says looking at his phone again.

"You make me very happy." I say moving my hand up his leg.

"I'd like to think you want me for more than just my body."

"I do. You're good when I have car trouble." He sighs sitting back. "Luke I'm joking." I turn my chair so that I'm facing him.

"I know." He says when he opens his eyes.

"I love you." He leans into me kissing me softly. I close my eyes savoring his lips. He tilts his head to kiss me deeper and his hand holds my head in place. I don't know how long we kiss but it must have been longer than I thought because when I open my eyes after he pulls back he's pulling me up so I stand. Somehow the fire that aligns the glass border of the patio is lit and there are lights on the floor. They were here when we arrived but they weren't lit. He stands in front of me smiling. Oh. My. God. He kissed me only last time before getting down on one knee.

"Mia Grey, I have never loved anyone the way I love you. And if you'll let me I spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you. I can't imagine a life without you. Marry me?" I cover my mouth as I look at this amazing man who want to may marry me. Me? I give him my hand and nod my head. "No say it Mia. I need to hear it." He says.

"Yes. Yes I'll marry you. Yes." He slips on the most outrageous ring on my finger. Oh god it's amazing. He stands up and I start shrieking like a loser before jumping on him. He catching me and I wrap my legs around his waist kissing him. "I love you." I say between kisses. "So much." I kiss his cheeks and his nose until I get to his neck and just stay that way. I'm hanging on to him for dear life and god it beautiful to just be with him. "Husband." I say into his neck and he chuckles.

I kiss him again but relax my legs so that I'm touching the floor again. "Really? You want to marry me?" I ask in disbelief.

"Mrs. Sawyer." He said against my lips. That actually sounds nice. Like I'm his. His love. His wife.

* * *

**My original plan was to have Mia as one chapter but there was too many things to include. I have found that I like doing Mia's POV so I will continue them but as a different story and these chapters will be erased from ITCOY2. I won't update nearly as much as this story because Lina and Elliot are my favorite. But it will be for fun. Any suggestions for the tittle? The new story won't be added for a few days because I have finals once again. The joys of being a student and deciding to take classes in the summer (not). Also I'll be going back to Lina and Elliot next chapter since not everyone cares for Mia and Luke. Well now you won't have to read about them. Any ways, thanks for reading and review as to what should happen with Jack and Lina and Elliot. And Isabelle, can't forget her. Ps. I don't hate Christian! I just like to make it out so he sounds like a jerk, because every jerk has to redeem themselves in a very sweet way.**

**Also, did you hear the trailer comes out on Thursday?**


	13. Chapter 13

"How was it?" I ask Elliot as he comes home. Tomorrow they are doing closing statements and they should have a verdict after two days of the trial. Elliot goes to work and shows up in the court room for a few hours then comes home. He's basically working part time but that just means that he brings home a lot of paper work. He sets it all down on the hallway table before stepping up to me. He leaves the keys on the counter just before his hands find their way to my hips then make snake to my back. He rests his chin on top of my head taking a deep breath. My hands are on the back pockets of his pants as I wait for him to talk.

"I missed you." I feel as he kisses my head. Before I can react he pulls back and smashes his mouth on mine. I'm assuming it was bad today based on how forceful he's being. It's not that him being this way is bad but I know well enough that when all he wants is sex that he must have had a bad day. When he's having one of those days he comes in ignores the kids or anything I'm doing and starts to initiate sex. I don't mind except that I'm in the middle of dinner and the kids are awake. Isabelle is in her playroom's desk coloring a picture for Carrick. She been working really hard to make him a picture. She's probably made about ten in the last half an hour alone.

"He keeps dropping it." Isabelle says handing me the pacifier for the millionth time. Evan seems to think it's funny to take it then push it out of his mouth so it rolls on the floor, which means I have to wash it. Elliot pulls back then looks at Isabelle. "You're always kissing." She says making a face at us.

"Because we love each other very much." I tell her as I clean the pacifier. She's waiting for me to take it back. "Don't give it to him just until he cries." I say handing it to her.

"Do you love me very much?"

"Yes."

"You don't give me a lot of kisses." She says. Elliot smiles then kisses her and tickles her. She runs away but he keeps chasing her. I hear her squealing from another room telling him to stop tickling her. To think that once she wouldn't let us hold her. They come back a short while later with Isabelle out of breath and Elliot in a much better mood. "He catches me fast." She says getting some water.

"Let's get some dinner." I tell the two children as they keep running around the house. Even George joined them.

"You don't have to go tomorrow." Elliot says to me later that night.

"Why not? You've been begging me to go everyday and now you change your mind? What happened?"

"It's a lot of press. I don't want you to be overwhelmed."

"That's it? No other reason?" I ask him.

"Yea, give me five minutes to think of something else." I give him that but he just falls asleep. As far as I'm concerned I'm still going.

"I'll pick you up at eleven." Elliot says as he's walking out the next morning.

"I'll be here." I say kissing him quickly. I can tell he doesn't want me to go but he doesn't say anything.

* * *

After dropping Evan off at Andy's house for a few hours I get to my house at around nine thirty.

"Why aren't you dressed? I thought you were going today? You are still going right? I thought I could ride with you and Elliot. If that's okay. Luke had to be at work this morning so I told him that it was fine and I'll meet him there. Now I'm wishing he didn't go. God everything has been horrible. His lawyers are making it seem like Ana provoked him and he's some victim in this whole thing. I don't even know how he has such good lawyers. Christian won't even tell me. Are you going?" She says out of breath.

"Yes I'm getting dressed soon I just had to pick up some breakfast and drop Evan off. We still have time." She was a little too worried or maybe I just wasn't seeing how things could turn out.

"Time, we have to be there in twenty minutes." She says shouting.

"It's at eleven." I remind her.

"No it's at ten but we have to be there earlier. I mean we are already late." He wouldn't? Would he? He would. Elliot said I didn't have to go I just didn't think he would lie about the time. I dial his number and tell Mia to not say anything.

"Hello?" He says.

"Hey baby. What time are you going to be here again?" I ask casually.

"It got pushed until twelve so I'll see you then. Where's Evan?"

"He's at Andy's. I'll see you soon then."

"Love you." He says before hanging up. I look at Mia shaking my head. I don't even have time to be mad because I'm being rushed upstairs to change.

"I'm sorry he lied to you." Mia says in the car.

"It's not your fault. Where's your security?" She points to the SUV parked in my drive way. I walk over to them and let them know that they can't tell anyone I'm with her. They just have to say Mia is on her way.

Elliot is an ass. I get he's trying to keep me safe but does he have to lie about things like this? Why can't he just stop treating me like a piece of glass. It's frustrating, having to find this out. Then he just lies to me on the phone. We make it to the court-house with five minutes to spare. Carrick is outside waiting for us.

"Lina I didn't know you were coming. Elliot said you changed your mind." He says as we walk.

"I felt bad not being here. Mia wanted me here and I promised her I would come. Plus you're family. If I'm the only one not here what does that say about me?" I smile kindly to him as he opens the door. Elliot's face drops as soon as he sees me. I sit between Mia and Elliot. He just keeps looking at me but I look ahead. This isn't the time to talk about it. He takes my hand, I want to just pull mine back but I can't cause a scene. I can see how nervous everyone is. Jack Hyde however looks quite relaxed twitching but relaxed. If what everyone is saying is true then it's possible that he might be found not guilty by the cause of insanity.

"You look beautiful." Elliot whispers to me. I can hear in his voice that he's sorry but I'm still mad. And rightfully so. "Lina," he turns to look at me.

"Now isn't the time. I'm here because Mia wants me here."

"Your only here for her?" He asks looking hurt. No, he doesn't get to be hurt or feel sad. He doesn't get to pin this on me.

"She is the only one who asked me to come. The only one who... cared enough to tell me." I say. I could say a lot more but I can't without my voice breaking.

"Don't try to say I don't care about you. You know that isn't true." I know he's right but I'm still mad. Is he embarrassed of me, is that why he didn't want me here. Or maybe I did something wrong? I dont have time to ponder over it anymore because it starts. I'm hoping it takes a long time that way I won't have to talk to Elliot, yet.

* * *

"Lina, no," Elliot grabs my hand just as I'm about to step outside. "There's too much press we have to wait for Christian's guys." He holds me close to him placing a protective hand on my waist.

Once Mia and Luke join us the doors are opened and Elliot's grip on me tightens. There are cameras flashing everywhere asking question at everyone. "Mrs. Grey do you agree with the verdict?" "Is it true you had a relationship with Hyde?" "Why of you think he did it?" "How long was your affair with jack?" Questions that honestly knowing Ana seem ridiculous but they seem to think it's true. "Don't worry Miss Grey you'll see him in a few months." I know that must have hit a nerve with Mia. No only do they accuse Ana of being intimate with Jack but Mia too. I've seen the magazines I know what they say.

"Don't listen to them." Elliot says taking my hand and walking in front of me. Once we finally get to where the cars are he walks me to where his car is and opens the passenger door.

"Elliot my car is here." I remind him.

"You aren't walking out alone. We can pick it up later now we just have to get to Bellevue. Please don't argue. You're pissed and I get it but please just put up with me for a while longer then you can hate me all you want." He says. He's fucking pissed. It's for a combination of the verdict and the damn cameras. I'm mad too but he's getting crazy.

Once we stop at a red light away from the chaos I grab his hand off the wheel.

"Calm down." I tell him quietly.

"Calm down. He could be out in what four, five years? He tried to fucking kill my sister and Ana and you want me to fucking calm down."

"You're scaring me." I know it isn't right to manipulate him but I also think that with his crazy driving we'll end up in a hospital room. He takes a deep breath then takes a sharp right to an abandoned parking lot.

"I'm sorry okay? I didn't want you to be part of the fucking circus with all the press and I didn't want Jack fucking Hyde to see you. I thought he would get out. I thought that they would say he's not guilty and he would get out. If he did and he knew you what you looked like I thought he'd come after you so I lied about the time. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you there. I was going to go home when this was over and apologize for lying then." He doesn't look at me.

"I think that both of us often do things with good intentions but we go about it all wrong." I say simply because that's all I know to say. Even though I'm mad about the lying I do think that him over worrying about me is incredibly sweet.

"I'm sorry I lied."

"It's okay. I forgive you." I kiss his cheek. "because I love you." He smiles just before turning to give me a proper kiss. He let's go then sits back on his seat turning on the car. Just as he's about to drive I place my hand over his and look at him. "You know what sucks about breast-feeding?" I ask him.

"That you're boobs hurt when you don't feed." He's right, mostly because I'm always complaining about it when just as I'm about to feed Evan.

"That too. But also that my hormones are crazy. I mean they were worst a few weeks ago and during the pregnancy but now it's just every once in a while."

"What, you changed your mind about forgiving me?" He chuckles.

"Actually I was thinking that you could take your pants off because I really need you... inside me." He looks at me shocked.

"Now? Here?" He looks around but it's empty.

"Now. Wherever." He starts unbuckling his pants as I remove my panties and pull my skirt up. "Take off your shirt and bra." He looks at me. He loves my breasts. He pushes back his seat and moves the steering wheel so that it's higher. Once he's ready he looks at me waiting.

"Fuck baby you really did need this." He says as he starts feeling how wet I am. I feel as if it's been weeks since we last had sex but honestly it was just yesterday morning. I was willing last night but he fell asleep.

"I always need this. Lately," he sucks on my neck. "I've been so turned on by you." I move my hand between our bodies and stroke his dick along my wet core. "Do you have any idea how hot it is watching you. And today I woke up and needed you so much. All I kept thinking was how I could get you to fuck me even though it so been a hard day." I bite his ear and as soon as he groans I lower myself on him slowly. I lean back and put my hands on his knees. As soon as he starts kissing between and around my breast I have to move. Even after all this time with Elliot it's hard to get used to his size but god does he feel amazing. It's as if I've been waiting for this moment forever and the friction of him moving in and out of me is so satisfying. Like that itch that you can finally scratch. Or finally getting sleep after days of being tired. Except I'm not tired. I just want to move. To keep moving on him and keep feeling his length move in and out of me as if it's our last time. It always feels that way because with two kids sex has become unpredictable. Spontaneous which is either hot as hell or as frustrating as not being able to come. Which isn't a problem with Elliot. Never has been. Every time I think I'm close he slows his movements or stops completely. At first it bothered me but now I get it. It makes me come even harder than before. I thought I knew what an orgasm was but ever since we started having sex after Evan was born it's like Elliot tests my limits as to what I can do, how I can flex my body or how I let him take me or me take him. Regardless it's ridiculous. But nothing is better than that glorious feeling of when he finally makes me cum of when I can't contain my emotions and my movements. Just like now. He has to move my hips up and down as he finishes off inside me.

By the time we are done I'm sure our agreed "fifteen minutes" had come and gone. Much like my energy. He pushes me back slightly so he can press his lips against my lips, then moves to my nose, each eyelid, against my cheeks and to my mouth again. His hands are sprawled on my back feeling my soft bare skin.

I know my phone has been ringing for a while but it was on vibrate so we easily ignored it. "Hey Mia." I say into the phone with out moving from my position on Elliot's dick. He tries to pull out but I move his hands over my breasts and start massaging them. As soon as he catches on to how I want to be touched he stops struggling and just goes with it. He looks completely captivated by the view.

"Are you coming to Bellevue? We are waiting for you two so we can decide on what to make for dinner. Teddy is on his way here." She says in an attempt to lure me into going. I look at Elliot silently asking him what he wants. He shrugs and continues his massage.

"Sure. We are almost at Andy's and we have to get Isabelle from school."

"Alright I'll see you here." We say our good byes and I can focus on his god given hands again.

"We have to go." He says. I nod my head I slowly lift my pelvis and watch as we become separated again. Once he's out of me a few drops of him land on his legs. He reaches into my bag knowing I have moist wipes inside then cleans up between my legs. He is getting another one but I run my index finger on the bead of cum. I slowly put the finger in my mouth tasting his salty ness sucking. I do it again with the rest of the liquid but instead I hold it out in front of him. He looks at me quizzically.

"Trust me it tastes good." I say biting my lips. He takes my wrist and sucks on my finger.

"You want to taste something better?" I nod my head. He guides my wet finger between my breast and down my stomach. He guides me so that we both have a finger inside my self. He pulls my hand and pressed the pad of my finger in his mouth and his finger in mine. As we are about to repeat the process my phone rings.

"Listen Mia, me and Lina didn't have sex for two months after the baby so she's pretty horny lately, in fact I'm balls deep inside her right now. I really like to fuck her. Because hearing her moaning is a hell of a lot better than hearing you so just stop callings so I can fuck her properly and-"

"That's wonderful Elliot. I'll pass that along to Mia. Actually I have you on speaker so the whole family knows not to bother you both now. But I just wanted to tell you that the fire department has been trying to contact you. I'll let you go son so you can just finish." Says Grace just before hanging up.

Oh god could that be anymore embarrassing? I cover my face with my hands and lean into his chest. Balls deep? God everyone is going to think I'm so horrible for being less considerate of what happened today. Elliot kisses my head before chuckling. Soon enough we are both laughing even though the situation really isn't that funny. It's actually not funny at all I don't see why we are laughing.

"That's embarrassing." I tell him frowning.

"I'm sorry baby. Come let's get dressed." He says still smiling. "Feeling better?" He asks me as I take a seat in the passenger's side.

"A little."

After picking up the kids we make our way to Bellevue. Elliot opens my door and kisses me swiftly before going to open the door for Isabelle. Once it's open she doesn't waste a moment running inside. "I'll take him." I grab my smiling baby and walk inside. Christian just looks at me at me smirking. Oh god I really don't want to be here.

At least everyone looks more relaxed now. I spent a good part of that day avoiding eye contact with Grace but could you blame me? And Elliot was completely exaggerating. Elliot acts like nothing happened but that's because he's a guy he thinks it's completely hilarious. "You shouldn't worry so much, we have sex everyone knows it. I don't know why you're so embarrassed. They know how this kid happened." He says making a face at Evan.

"Elliot have you called the fire department yet?" Grace says as she comes in. "It seemed urgent."

"I was going to just as you walked in." She gives him a look walking away. "Do you want to start heading home Isabelle has to shower."

"Yea just call on the way home and I'll drive." I say as I grab the keys from his front pocket. As we are saying our good byes I notice that Ana is still watching her phone like she was an hour ago.

"Hey is everything okay?" I sit next to her and take Teddy. Gosh he's heavy. That's probably because I'm so used to Evan and he's three months younger. He's still adorable though. He has Ana's eyes. He sits up straight and keeps opening his mouth. Ana takes out some baby cookies then hands them to me so I feed him.

"Yes today has been unexpected I guess."

"He's still going to jail, I know he isn't going for as long as he should but it's still 15 years. Just be glad that he'll be gone."

"But that's terrifying. He'll get out when Teddy is fifteen. I don't want him to come after my son when he is released." She says holding on to his legs.

"I'm sure Christian will find a way to protect both of you."

"Yes by locking us in his ivory tower." She responds with a scoff.

"His what?" She smiles at me.

"Sorry it's a joke that Christian and I have."

"He's very protective of you." I comment.

"And I love him for it but I need some time to breathe. That's why I need to keep working. I mean I love my job reading manuscripts. If I could do that all day I would. But now I have to be involved in the financial and logistic aspects of grey publishing. It is not what I imagined for myself. I'm thankful that he loves me enough to give me such a grande gift but I feel like I don't deserve it. I've been given everything on a silver platter since I met my husband and it's been amazing, he's amazing but it's too much. I'm used to working for things."

"So you think you don't deserve it?" I ask. Teddy is focusing hard on the little cookies. He looks so determined.

"Exactly."

"So maybe you should earn it. For yourself. Prove to yourself that you do deserve to be CEO. There is a reason he gave it to you. Not just to keep tabs on you. If all he wanted was to control your work then he would have kept you where you were as an editor." She looked at me puzzled. "Mama always said that if some one gives you something it's ain't so it looks pretty on a shelf. It's so you can make something out of it." I tell her in my best southern accent. "And Ana if you ever feel the need to get out of the house to talk or whatever you could come to our house. I know it's because of me you don't have your best friend as much as you'd like to." I tell her. I do feel slightly responsible. I guess that's why I always feel some competitiveness with her. It's all in my head of course but it's like she's Kate's friend. She my fiancé's ex's best friend. I really have to stop being such a bitch to Ana. This is a start.

"It wasn't your fault. She made her choices. And I made mine." She says smiling at Teddy who can't seem to stay still. "There is this class for moms and their baby's it like an exercise class on Saturdays. Maybe you could join me."

"Yea that's great."

"There you are. Is everything alright?" Christian says walking towards Ana purposefully. He always walks like that. Like he's on some mission.

"Yes actually Lina just invited me on Saturday somewhere. Well it's like a date. Teddy and I with her and Evan." She gives me a look. I secretly love when people tell Christian what to do instead of asking. I'm all about rebeling against the rules.

"Yea it's a baby class. I'll pick you up " I ask standing up not giving room for him opposing to the idea.

"Ana, is this really the best idea. We can have some one come to our home. Or Elliot's if that where you would feel more comfortable." He says looking at me. Ana knows how much I love pushing Christian so she just smiles at me.

"No don't go through the trouble. I'll pick you up. Plus I need to buy something for... Elliot. Especially after today. I'm sure Ana needs something for you Christian. Anyways I see you in a few days. Bye bye Teddy bear." I say kissing him and handing him to Christian. I practically run out of the room. I don't need him to protest anymore.

"Let's go." I take Isabelle's hand and buckle her in her seat and Elliot does Evan. I'm surprised he let me drive. This never happens not in his car.

I hear Elliot talking to someone and he goes silent. I look over quickly and something is wrong. Maybe something happened to one of his construction sites. Maybe a gas leak? I don't know. I keep watching his every now and then until he finally hangs up.

"Can you drive to out old house." He says leaning his head back letting out a breath.

"What is it?"

"There was a fire. Look at the road!" Shit I'm in the middle of two lanes.

"Sorry." I say as I swerve back to my lane. I prefer not to ask questions until we get there, I don't want to cause an accident. Especially not with my family in the car.

We pull up to the house and there are a few officers and some people from the fire department. The gate opens and as we drive closer we see that the side where the kitchen is, was on fire. Where the kitchen was. How the hell is it possible that the house had a fire if no one was here? Someone stops us but Elliot explains this is our house. Their lieutenant walks toward us and Elliot and I get out of the car parking it as close as possible. I lean on the car door as he introduces himself but I'm too focused on the house. Sure I didn't like it but it was Elliot's pride and joy. His baby. I took his hand. God I can't even image what he's thinking. He loves this house.

"A neighbor called about someone breaking in, once the police got here there was a small fire followed by an explosion. So far we think this was arson. You don't get a fire like this so quickly. Looks like most of the damage is done to the kitchen and the bedroom directly upstairs from the kitchen. You have a daughter Mr. Grey?" Elliot's jaw is still on the floor. I can see he's upset by this.

"We do." I answer because Elliot isn't listening.

"That's where the explosion was. You can't stay her tonight or any time soon. I suggest you find a relative or a hotel until the damage is fixed but the police will need to do a formal investigation."

"We don't live here. It my fiancé's house but we moved a few moths ago we just haven't decided what to do with it yet. Can we see the damage?"

"Afraid not. It's too dangerous we don't know how stable the roof is and it could collapse any time. We can't risk it. The fire obviously is out but we were checking for gas leaks. We didn't find anything wrong in the house so we are thinking it was a homemade bomb. We'll have to wait longer and the insurance company will look into it." Someone calls him and he has to leave. Elliot hasn't moved. He's just standing looking at the house. He has a strong grip on my hand but nothing about his stance has changed.

"Elliot!" I turn to see Patrick our neighbor. "Sorry about the house. Have they told you how he got in?" I shake my head. "He delivered a pizza to my house next door. I thought it was my daughters so I let him through the gate and he left. I thought he did but the pizza delivery car was parked on the street. He went in my property and jumped over to yours where there are wooden boards. I looked through the security footage and took a still frame. I thought I'd give it to you guys. I have my guys getting the security tapes to the police but I would want to know who the son of a bitch who tried burn my house down was." He hands me a picture but Elliot grabs it first. At least he's moving again. He shakes his head.

"I don't know him. Lina?" He hands me the picture and sigh. No, no, no, no, no. This can't be really. It can't be him. It's the same guy from the break in at work. It has to be. I'm trying to find differences but the only things I can think of are based on the fact that this picture was taken in the dark. Fuck this isn't good. Not good at all. "Lina?" I close my eyes briefly before looking up at him.

"He's... The guy. The guy from work, the one who broke in." I say handing back the picture. I don't want to look at it. Not anymore. If I look at it then I'll start getting ideas about how he's after me and he wants my kids. How he could hurt them and I can't even protect them. How I don't even know who this guy is.

"Thanks Patrick." Patrick takes the hint and leaves. Evan is whimpering so Elliot takes the picture throwing it in the back and giving Evan his pacifier. "We'll figure it out." He says to me. I nod my head. "We have to tell them. We'll tell them and leave. Just tell them you can go to the station tomorrow." I nod again. I can't even think about anything else other than my babies. Now they're asleep but what about when they wake up. I cant take care of them then.

The police asks a few questions but everything can wait for tomorrow. Right now I want my kids safely in my house where I can image everything is fine and I can take care of them.

Isabelle must have woken up when we were looking at the house because now she's awake. I watch as she puts on her night clothes and lays in bed. I read to her until she's asleep. I just have to make sure she's okay.

I feed Evan then go back to bed where Elliot is waiting for me. As soon as he's wrapped his arms around me I feel safer. A few minutes later there is a knock on the door so Elliot gets up. I'm too scared to open the bedroom door. It's just Isabelle though. She looks so upset I can see that her eyes are watery and as soon as she sees me she begins to sob. She gets in bed with us and I hold her as she cries.

"I don't want you to leave me please. I want to stay here." She says between shaky breaths. I'm confused as to what she's saying but I just listen.

"I don't want to go with Rick. I want to stay with you and daddy and Evan. Please." She begs hysterically.

"Hey calm down baby. You aren't going anywhere." Elliot says as he gently rubs her head. She grabs my shirt tightly.

"You aren't going to make me go with him?" She asks with her blue eyes puffy from the tears. "Then why do you have a picture of him?" Elliot stands up and brings the picture from Patrick.

"That's Rick?" He says showing her the picture. She nods her head.

"Please daddy I'll be a good girl." She says not letting me go. I see Elliot's shoulders drop in defeat. He throws the picture somewhere and gets on the other side of Isabelle. "You aren't going anywhere okay? You belong right her with me and mommy and Evan. You are never going back there."


	14. Chapter 14

"We have to talk about it." I tell Elliot for the millionth time. He keeps pushing off the fire and what Isabelle says.

"How was Ana? Christian said she had fun when you two went out today."

"She was fine. It was good to go out with her and talk about all this shit since you won't talk about it." He rolls his eyes and goes back to playing with Evan. "Elliot he's looking for her."

"You don't know that."

"Elliot, something could happen to her if we aren't careful. Why would he want her?" I ask him.

"He's hungry." He hands me Evan and walks away just like he's done everyday this week.

"Daddy's ignoring me because he's scared Evan. He's not always a jerk baby. He'll get over it. We can corner him later. Now, you are going to eat, go to bed and then I'm gonna say good night to your sister and her friend. She's gonna have a sleepover." He starts babbling which I find too damn adorable. I think I have at least two hours worth of babbling videos of him. He's getting so big I don't want to miss a thing. Plus mom really likes when I send her videos of the kids.

"Girls it's time to go to sleep." That's followed by them pouting and trying to convince me to let them stay up late. Ten is late in my eyes so they shouldn't complain. "I'll tell you what, you guys can wake up really early and play in the morning." I say using a sarcastic voice. That's not the best deal but it gets them to go to sleep by some miracle.

"I'm putting Evan to sleep. Do you want to come?" I ask Elliot. He stacks things on his desk and leads the way. "I'm going to give him a bath first."

"Let me put him in his crib while you get the water ready. I'll get his clothes." We have a routine with the kids. I get Isabelle ready for bed, he reads her a story until she's actually asleep. With Evan I give him a bath, Elliot changes him. He really is a great father, I don't understand why he was so worried when he was first going to take Isabelle.

I start giving him a bath which he loves because he's all smiles and Elliot comes in with the camera. He knows that I love taking pictures of them. When I'm done Elliot takes Evan to change him. I take a picture of them but put the camera down, instead I get behind Elliott to put my hands flat on his stomach resting my head on his back. Later I sit on the floor watching Elliot rock Evan until he gets sleepy. Elliot read somewhere that if he falls asleep in our arms that's how he'll get used falling asleep.

I expect Elliot to just want to go back to his office but instead he asks if I want to watch tv. Which I do, with him. "Lift me baby." I say in a playful tone so he smiles. He bends down and throws me so my upper body is facing his back. "That's not what I meant." I meant for him to lift me so I could see him. He just smacks my behind chuckling. I do the same so he hits me harder.

He sets me on the floor and I take my pants off throwing them on the armrest of the other couch. The kids are asleep and my shirt is pretty long so it covers the essential plus I have panties on. He takes his off and throws them over mine. "Why don't you put a movie on?" He asks sitting down.

"Just order one on pay-per-view." I shout from the kitchen. I get him his usual beer along with an iced tea for me. I don't know why he's so insistent on a DVD but I put on a movie from his collection, PearlHarbor. It takes me forever to get it to play until I realize that he has the remote and keeps turning it off just so that I can keep bending over so he can get a good look at my ass. When I catch on I shake my butt so he at least enjoys the view. He takes a large drink of his beer when I'm walking over then lays back on the couch. I move to straddle his hips and lean forward so I can kiss him just before I lay directly on him, my legs between his and he has a hand playing with strands of my hair.

"Why do you think he's looking for her? After all this time?" I ask in the middle of the movie.

"We aren't doing this. Let's just enjoy a quiet night okay." He turns the volume up using the control. I take it and mute the sound.

"No we have to talk about this. What ever it is you're scared of just know I'm scared too. But if I don't talk about this with you who else can I talk to? You're the one that is there in the good times and in bad right? Or does that only apply when we are formally married?" I say straddling his hips looking down at him.

"Of course it applies to now as well."

"Well I'd say this is the bad and if I don't have you who do I have?"

"You have me." he says regretfully.

"Then talk to me baby." I ask kindly.

"About what? We don't know anything there isn't a conversation to be had."

"I need to talk about it. I need to know that it matters because I'm freaking out and you don't want to talk about it. You just ignore me or blow me off."

"I'm not doing this Lina." He says. "Get off please." I feel his grip tighten on my legs so that I can get off.

"No we need to talk. We are talking about it now. If you want me to get off then you'll have to forcibly push me." I know he won't do it. He wants to but he is took much a gentleman to do that.

"I'm not playing around Lina get off." He says trying to sit up but I just press my hands on his chest keeping him down. "Carolina damn it will you please get up." He might have said please but I can see the last thing he wants is to do is be polite.

"Why won't you talk to me?" I ask on the verge of giving up.

"Because you're being ridiculous. Now stop." He sits up and waits for me to get up but I'm not budging yet. "We were having a perfectly good evening and you have to ruin it." He right I did.

"I'm scared for her. I keep thinking something is going to happen and we will lose her. That he is her dad and he can take her away. I love her. She's my baby. I need her to be okay."

"You're annoying as fuck sometimes I hope you know that." He sighs. I give him a look that tells him I'm not joking. "I don't know what he wants. I think he wants her to use as a ransom. He hasn't come close to us in a year so maybe he ran out of money that he would get from Stephanie. Or maybe he is the father and wants his kid back but knows that we'll never let that happen. There are a lot of things that could happen."

"I don't want to lose her." I feel the warm air from his mouth go over my skin.

"I will try my hardest to make sure that doesn't happen." He has his hands on the side of my face.

"I love her."

"I know you do. Lina we just have to be careful." That's all he said. I guess there wasn't much to say. I just needed to get it out of me. I needed to think and it's easier when I know he's listening.

"I'm sorry for being rude." I say as I get off and take a seat next to him. He kisses my head and pulls me falling back so I am between the back of the couch and his body.

"It's okay."

Elliot and I didn't tell his family about Rick. There wasn't a reason to I just didn't want to worry them plus Elliot said it would only cause them to hover and Elliot didn't want that. Christian was the only one that knew because they wanted to upgrade the security cameras and gate. Everything was schedules to arrive the next Friday and be installed that Saturday.

Aside from the crazy guy running around Elliot reminded me of something that I had not paid attention to.

"Why are we going out again?" He asked me to get dressed up for a date. His parents were taking the kids agin and we were going to go out.

"Because Lina I want to take you out." He said on the phone.

"I just don't think now is a good time to go out. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you because you know I love our date nights but it's just after the house, well maybe we should just-"

"Lina it's our anniversary." He says. Crap it is. Oh god how could I forget. I never forget these things. Ever!

"Oh." I smack my forehead like an idiot. How could I forget?

"Yea oh. So can I still take you to dinner?" I smile besides the fact that I'm terrible.

"Elliot. Baby I'm sorry for forgetting." There's no point in lying he already knows. "Of course you can."

"Think about it this way in the future I get a pass for forgetting. Plus we never had a definite date, so I'm declaring today our anniversary."

"It's been a wonderful year. Thank you." I say running through this year in my head. All the wonderful times I have had all thanks to him.

"Thank you. You've made it the best year." I can hear it in his voice how he's happy.

"I would say more but I'll save it for when you are actually here."

"I'll be there soon." He says just before hanging up. I rush to get ready. I was trying to look nice but now that he reminded me of our anniversary I feel like I have to look really good.

I'm surprised to see him five minutes later. I hear the clicker of the car as he's getting in the house from the garage.

"I need to shower then I'm going to pick something up then come back for you." I don't care I just want to kiss him. I run to him as he's walking in and he catches me just as he sees me. I have legs around his hips and he's caught off by my welcome. He drops whatever what was on his hands to keep me held up. I have my arms tightly around his neck. I refuse to let him go, not yet at least. Unfortunately I do have to breathe so I pull back smiling at this beautiful man. "Hi." He says out of breath.

"Hi."

"This is quite a hello. I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me." I kiss him again.

"I'm always happy to see you. But today I feel like I can show it." He chuckles shaking his head.

"Silly woman, you can always do this. Always." I bite my lip or else my cheeks will start to hurt from the pain of smiling so wide.

"Happy anniversary baby." I whisper. It feels like if I talk to loud I'll lose the intimacy of this moment.

"It's been a great year Lina. Thank you for everything."

"I feel like you're the one who gave me everything."

"No you gave me a beautiful chatter box daughter who is too good for her own good. Then you gave me the most perfect always happy son. And you gave me you. No one has ever been so open with me. It's good to wake up everyday knowing you'll love me all day. And I know going to bed that you love me more than you did in the morning. Thank you for loving me. For being mine. You've changed your entire life to be with me."

"Best phone call I ever made." I say shrugging my shoulder shyly. He's such a sap.

"I'd love. To. Keep. Mmmm doing this." He says between kisses.

"So would I." I say just fast enough for me to go right back to kissing him.

"I really want, to take you. Fuck baby. Dinner." He leans back evading my kiss. I pout at him. "Don't pout. Just dinner and we can rush back here."

"Love you." I say just before my feet are back on the ground.

"The kids?" He asks when we walk hand in hand upstairs.

"Isabelle's room. Evan is on his mat, Isabelle wants to baby sit apparently. And she's reading him a story. She just started learning so she likes to practice. She loves books."

"Yea I know. We have to get more books for her. She was getting mad because I've already read her all the ones she has twice. Which is saying something because Ana gave her a lot. I'm just going to shower because I have to pick something up. Once I get it I'll come back and we can take the kids." I make myself busy getting ready for tonight as he showers. He changes into a pair of dark jeans and button up shirt. I prefer this to a full suit. It's very Elliot but still dressy enough for a nice restaurant.

"It shouldn't take more than an hour." He assures me kissing my neck.

"Take you're time it's early. Get some diapers please."

"Do you want me to take Evan?" He asks kissing my shoulder.

"No go we'll be safe here." He kisses me again.

"No panties Mrs. Grey." He commands, winking before he grabs my ass playfully. Well who am I to deny him something.

I'm almost done. I just have to find some matching shoes. I'm wearing a blush colored dress that has a high neck line ties behind the neck, no cleavage but is backless. Just like my fiancé requested no panties. No bra either. I just have to find some shoes. I do have some black ones but they are in the downstairs closet. Oh well. Ive been texting Mia because she wants to know if we are spending thanksgiving with the Grey's. I tell her we probably will but I have to ask Elliot. I feel guilty not spending it with my family again but when she suggests I invite them all here I can't help but agree. It's in two weeks so I'm sure they can make it. I set my phone down so I can look for the shoes but George scares me and starts barking. I watch the dog run in circles and whimpering. I grab my phone and shoes and peek in the crack door to see Isabelle still reading. At least it got Evan to fall asleep. I leave her door slightly ajar and my door wide open so she knows she can just walk in.

God I made a mess. I couldn't pick a dress so I just threw things everywhere.

"Mommy?" Isabelle walks into my room shyly.

"Yeah baby?"

"I think someone is here." I put the shirt down and look at her. She looks terrified.

"Is it daddy?" I ask hoping it is.

"No. He's outside my window." She near tears but I have to have her show me. I follow her to her room holding her hand the whole way. She points to the window and I get there just in time to see someone who is not Elliot walk in to our house. I calmly walk over to her tv and turn the volume up high disturbing Evan. I grab his bottle and his pacifier then pick him up.

"We have to be really quiet okay. We are going to my room and we are going to play hide and seek with this person." I tell her. I have to somehow force a fake smile on my face because I don't think I can panic. She nods her head. I think she can sense my fear because she doesn't smile. I take her hand. I have to take my kids somewhere safe. I could go down stairs but I don't know if he's armed or something. I'm not going to risk them to find out either.

My room. That's the only place I can think of. I lock our bedroom door and grab the key quickly off the bedside table. We keep it in case it is locked and we can't get in. It's also used to unlock the bathroom and closet door. That's about as safe as we can get. "In my closet." I order her, she goes without question. Thank god. She sits with her legs crossed. I go back to the room and turn off the lights. I close the bathroom door and lock that too. I miss Brooks for a minute. Damn I wish I had daddy's gun. Daddy used to take us hunting, me and the boys so I shoot pretty well but Elliot is very anti-gun. I didn't like to see dead animals so I would pretend to have bad aim. I used to shoot trees closest to the animal so they could run away. When daddy figured me out he stopped taking me.

I turn off the bathroom light and use the small dimmer in the closet. I lock the door and take a seat with Isabelle. It isn't until I sit down that I think I should call someone. But I'm afraid to move and leave them I don't know if it's worth it. My phone is just outside though right where my bed was. I'm pretty sure I left it on my bed and even if I didn't, the house phone is here. "I think he's gone I'm going to check Kay? Watch your brother." I wait until she nods her head. Everything will be fine. Every thing will be just fine. Regardless of that I kiss her forehead, then Evan's. I'm not saying goodbye, I just want to kiss them that's all. I'm not saying goodbye because I don't want to leave them for a minute. God I sound crazy.

First call I make to is 9-1-1. I tell them there is a break in at my house and they ask stupid question as to whether I'm sure or not. Once I convince them that I'm sure they tell me someone will be here soon. Fucking bastards. Isabelle is watching me intently. I have to act calm for her. The second call is to Elliot.

"Hey baby I'm almost on my way." He says cheerfully.

"El someone is at the house." I say looking away from my kids.

"Tell them to leave it's our night tonight." He says laughing.

"No Elliot someone broke into the house it think it's ... You know who. He had the same body build. I didn't see his full face but I'm sure." I can't say his name! Isabelle will become upset.

"Where are you?" He says loudly.

"Don't yell. We are in our bedroom locked upstairs. We're okay but we called police they're on their way." Pleas stay calm Elliot. I say to myself.

"I'm on my way okay. Stay where you are. Don't fucking move got it?" He says. I hear someone yell his name but he ignores them.

"Okay. Please hurry Elliot."

"I will. Just stay calm got it."

"I love you Elliot." I whisper into the mic.

"Don't do that. We aren't saying goodbye. I'm going, police is going, they are going to take care of the fucking psycho and then we are all going out to a hotel where we can celebrate our anniversary as a family. We can get movies and room service. What ever you want." He says desperately.

"Please just say it." I haven't been this scared in a while. Not even when I for attacked was I this scared. I guess it's because my kids are here. I can't have anything happen to them. And I shouldn't just sit here waiting for someone to save me.

"I love you baby." He isn't too happy to say it but I know he says it wholeheartedly. "I'll be there soon. Stay safe. Don't move from that spot." I mod my head even though he can't hear me. "Tell the kids I love them." I nod again. "I'll see you soon."

I always was taught to not let life pass you by. Now i felt as if my possibility of living or not was roaming around the house.

"Are we going to die?" Isabelle snaps me out of any thoughts forming.

"No you are not going to die. You understand? You will be okay. Daddy will be here and he is going to take care of us." She nods her head then continues to pet Evan.

"Maybe George can save us." Why can't I fucking think of that. Elliot has been training that dog as if it was getting ready to go to the police force. He trained it so that after a phrase he attacks another person. I never thought we would actually need it. Plus I have a taser gun in the laundry room. I should have one up here not down there. But the problem: it's downstairs. Is it worth it to go downstairs? I can't just sit here waiting on someone to save us. I have to do something and that's my only option.

"I'm going to get something from downstairs. You you h...have to stay here okay? Because your brother is sleeping. I... I can't ... Wake him or he'll get loud. I'm going to play you a video. And by the time the video is done I'll be back."

"What if you're not?" She looks at me panicking.

"Then you keep playing it until I am. Me or daddy. Only. Not anyone else. Not police, or gramps, or grandma or Mr. Grey, no one, but us. Let's make a password. It's going to be baby, if we say baby then it's us. Got it? If we get it wrong then you don't open the door." She nods quickly. I find a netflix episode to entertain her and hand her my phone. It's been three minutes since I called. That's all. Time goes slow when I need it to go faster.

I grab my key and lock all the doors on my way out again. I run from the from the room to the stairs. I can't see anyone so I head down.

"Where is she?" He says when I am in front of him. I turned a corner without checking first and now I'm here. I'm right on the door to let George in, I just need a few steps back.

"She isn't here." I lie. I need to lie better.

"She is I saw her through the window. Why don't you just give her to me so I won't have to hurt that crying little shit."

"Why do you what her?" Elliot would, Elliot will be pissed when he finds out I didn't run.

"She my daughter."

"No she isn't. You weren't on the birth certificate." Stupid Lina stupid. That's all I can fucking think of?

"You want to know why?" He smiles a crazy smile stepping forward. I move back. "Because I need a new whore. And imagine how much fun I could have with her. Someone that small. I could have her for years. " He smiles and it's as if he's picturing. Picturing how he could use her for his ...fun.

"The police are on their way. I called five minutes ago. They'll be here soon. You won't get to her. You won't find her in time." I ran out of ideas. I don't even know what to say I just want him gone. I take another step back.

"Do you think that boyfriend of yours will still want her when he finds that she's the reason his little bitch is dead. What about the little shit? You'll both be dead. I don't think he'd want her." That smile that he has is haunting. He's enjoying this. He is actually having fun messing with my head. I reach the door and touch the door knob. I hear George's paws scratch the wood. Good. At least he's there.

I turn the knob and pull open the door just as he takes a step toward me. "Bite hard George." I point at Rick and George jumps on him biting his arm. I go to the laundry room but the taser gun isn't there. I don't want to look for it. Instead I run past George who is still biting. I just hope nothing happens to him. I see through a window that there are police coming but they aren't close enough. I dial the number on a house phone and open the gates.

I call George back because I know he'll start to run which he does. Once George let's him go I run back upstairs unlocking then locking the door again.

"You brought George?" Isabelle says when I kneel next to her out of breath.

"Yes so he can keep us safe." I sit just holding her and she holds Evan as I let tears run down my face. That could have gone badly but it didn't I close my eyes and count waiting for someone to come upstairs. Someone opened the bedroom door. They also opened the bathroom door. Just one more door. Isabelle and I both tighten our grip. George looks like he's ready to attack again. I close my eyes. There's nothing I can do if it's him again. Just use George. The door opens but I don't look, all I can do is hold on tighter to my kids. Isabelle let's go.

"Daddy." She jumps to him so he can hold her. I look at him and just start crying. It's okay. Everything is okay. He kisses my head just before walking out still with Isabelle in his arms.

"They're over here." He says and someone follows him back. It's Christian, Luke, and Taylor.

"Help her I'll get Isabelle." Christian takes a reluctant Isabelle and carries her out of the room. Good I don't want her to see me like this.

"You're okay." He says. I nod my head. He takes Evan from me and helps me up. "Everything is okay. I'm sorry I took so long."

"I didn't know what to do. Where to go. George had to attack him and-"

"Hey you're safe." I are perfectly safe.

I couldn't even think after that. All I knew was that I had to get out of there. We stayed in a hotel for the next few days. Christian took George to his house. There was nothing wrong with our house but I just didn't want to go back. Isabelle didn't either. She didn't know it was Rick, everyone was instructed to not say a word to her about it. She was upset enough I wouldn't add to it. The day we did go back Elliot hadn't come to bed and it was already 12. I

"Please come to bed." I told him as I walked in. He's been here for hours.

"I was talking to Christian." He said not looking at me.

"I need you." I don't want to talk about Christian.

"You know I love you three more than anything right?"

"Come to bed. We love you too." I say as I make my way next to his chair.

"Did you know I have an apartment in New York?" He says looking at me.

"So?"

* * *

**EPOV is the next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	15. Chapter 15

We've been driving for an hour and Lina hasn't said a word. I know she doesn't want to do this but it has to be this way. I can feel her looking at me but when I look she looks away. Just as we pull up on the drop off zone she looks at me. "Just so you won't have to walk." I tell her.

"Elliot." I don't want her to get wet walking in. "We can walk together." She says. I can't deny her this or anything for that matter. I'm already dragging her across the country. It wasn't easy to convince her to do this but I can't have a repeat of the other day. I'd rather have this. It's only temporary though, she knows that. Doesn't change the fact that I don't want to fucking do this either.

I park as close to an elevator in the parking structure of the airport. It's raining so I don't want her or the kids to get sick. I unbuckle my seat belt but just as I'm about to open the door she grabs me by my shirt and pulls me to her. I respond to her mouth instantly. I have to taste her. I can feel her crying but she doesn't stop. Fuck I love her. I cup her cheek and run my thumb along her jaw. I nibble on her lip with my teeth just how she likes. She pulls back and shakes her head. She smiles sadly and I just want to keep reminding her of why we need this but she's heard it all before. She presses her lips on mine a few more times before she gets out of the car to get to Isabelle.

I get the luggage out of trunk before getting Evan in his car seat out of the car. She gets an umbrella, one of the rolling suitcases, Isabelle and walks toward the elevator. We check in and grab some food for Isabelle before the flight. I'm trying to give her space because I know she's pissed but I just want her to say something. Sure we had sex yesterday and this morning but I need her.

"Now boarding for flight 278 to New York City." This is it. No going back now. I take Evan from her because I need my little buddy. And Isabelle's hand.

"This is it." She says biting her lip. I kneel so I can talk to Isabelle.

"Remember what we talked about yesterday?" She nods. "What did we agree on?"

"If a boy talks to mommy tell them she's married and hit the road." She's listens well.

"And?"

"Don't talk to strangers. And take care of Evan." We share our secret handshake and she starts laughing. Damn I'm gonna miss this kid.

"Ok. If you need anything anytime you can call me. No matter what time I'll be here any time got it?"

"Why can't you come with us?" I've been hearing this question since we told her that they were leaving but she asks anyways.

"I told you I have something important to do here."

"Catch the bad guy who was in my house?" She moves her head to the side and scrunches her nose. I touch her nose so she relaxes her face.

"Something like that. I'm gonna miss you baby. Be good. Listen to your mom even when you don't want to and she's being mean. She's you're mom and she's going to be very busy with you two in a new city. And just because I'm not going to see you that doesn't mean I don't love you. I love you more everyday. That won't ever change." She nods her head. "Come here." I pull her into my arms and she holds on tightly. Just like she did when I found them the other day. I kiss her hair then mess it up because that's how I show her I love her.

"I'm gonna miss you daddy. Can you read me a story before bed?"

"I won't see you later. It's gonna be a few days remember?"

"You can tell it to me on the phone." She's so smart.

"Yea baby I can do that. Just tell your mom."

"And we can come back one day?"

"Soon, I hope." I hug her again before letting go.

I stand up grabbing Evan from his car seat. There isn't much I can say to him he doesn't really listen but I hug his little body. I strap him back in then look at the one person who actually understands what this is.

Shes biting her lip again. She's been doing that the last few days to suppress the tears but it doesn't work. "I love you." She says in that voice that is a second from her breaking down. She's just trying to keep it together for Izzy's sake.

"I love you more you know that. And it's only a few weeks." I take her hands to put them around my waist.

"I know it's just that I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too. But at least you have company."

"That's true. Be safe here. I know you're sending us away so that we can be safe but that doesn't mean I won't worry about you." Always worrying. She'll have wrinkles in the next year if she keeps worrying this much.

"I need you three safe. I can't have another repeat of last time. Now that we have a visual things will be better, easier to find him. And then you can come home."

"Will you be safe? You've been worrying about us and I love how much you worry but we need you too. They need a dad and I need my husband. I would like to marry you one day."

"I will be safe for you and them. I get my own CPO now." I say smiling even though the thought of needing a body guard seems stupid but I just want her to know I'm safe.

"Well if you change your mind you can come to New York or we can come back. We'll be on the first plane back." I lean down to kiss her and she holds my face in her hands.

"Don't do that baby please." This shouldn't be so hard, she's coming back. I wipe her tear but they just keep coming. "I have a driver picking you up at the airport to take you to the apartment. He'll be with you the entire time you're there. Your sister got sometime off so she'll be there too. And just try to have fun okay. Explore New York take the kids out do whatever you want except go out on dates." SShe smiles besides the tears.

"Like I could do that. I love you too much. Take care of George. Don't destroy my house. Just because I'm not there doesn't mean you should eat so much junk remember that." They announce the final boarding call but it's too soon I have so much I need to say. I can see she's waiting for me to say she doesn't have to go but I can't do that. This asshole is out there and I'm not about to let anything happen. This is making Lina miserable but for now she's miserable and safe.

"Remember anytime rain or sun. It doesn't matter the time or what it's about. Nothing is too small. If I don't answer keep trying I probably lost my phone or call the house or the office. You are never a bother. And I'll call before bed every night. You are more important." I look at both my girls. I lean in to give Lina one last kiss then I pick Isabelle up. She has help from someone from the airline because she cant take the luggage and the kids and I can't pass this point with out a ticket. I should have just bought one so I can walk her up to the plane. I would have done that but then I'd be tempted to get on the plane.

"Bye daddy be safe." She grabs her carry on back pack and takes Lina's hand.

"I love you guys. Be safe." Safe, that's what it's is about. That's the reason that they are going away for a few weeks. Isabelle had to be pulled out of school but she'll have a tutor going to New York while they're away so she won't miss anything. I step back watching them board a plane that is going to take them thousands of miles from me but it's for the best. I stayed in the airport until it was announced that the flight took off. When I got back in the car it was quiet. The house was the same. No baby babbling or Isabelle reading out loud. Lina wasn't in the kitchen listening to music. Just me. Well George was with me so that was something.


	16. Chapter 16

"I love you guys. Be safe." Safe, that's what it's about. That's the reason that they are going away for a few weeks. Isabelle had to be pulled out of school but she'll have a tutor going to New York while they're away so she won't miss anything. I step back watching them board a plane that is going to take them thousands of miles from me but it's for the best. I stayed in the airport until it was announced that the flight took off. When I got back in the car it was quiet. The house was the same. No baby babbling or Isabelle reading out loud. Lina wasn't in the kitchen listening to music. Just me. Well George was with me so that was something.

Fucking dog practically saved them. I knew he would come in handy one day but I wasn't expecting this to be when we would need him. Maybe I should get another one. Their plane was early so now I have to stay awake all day. It's 7am their plane was at 6 I'm suppose to go to Christian's to try to figure this shit out but maybe it's too early. Yea right the man never sleeps he's always busy going at it with Ana. Poor woman never has a break. I get a bag ready to head to Christian's gym for a few hours. Taylor buzzed me in so I won't wake them and it's not like they'll care, well Ana won't. Plus I'm not even bothering them till later. After three hours I take a shower and head to the kitchen where Gail is.

Thank fuck she's making food because I'd be stuck with a cereal and I'm starving. Get used to it, I think to myself. Teddy is in his chair and squeals when he sees me.

"Good morning Elliot." She says when she sees me.

"Hey Gail. My brother still having sex?" She tries to contain her smile.

"No he and Ana went to buy groceries. Ana forced him into it." That's a first, Mr. CEO at the super market?

"Are you gonna feed this kid?" I put my finger next to his mouth and he turns to try to find food. He's cute little fucker that's for sure it just makes me miss my kid.

"Yes I was right after I make your breakfast." She knew I'd ask so shes making me a spinach omelet which is the only thing I eat when I'm here. Not because Gail isn't a good cook but that just happens to be my favorite.

"I'll take that Gail." I take the food for Teddy she has out and start feeding him. Once she sets my plate I tell her to relax and I'll take care of Teddy. She smiles leaving me alone. "You might be the only one that I have right now kid." He just opens his mouth waiting for food. Fuck this is messy he has a bib but he isn't even eating anything. Lina made it look so easy when she did this last week but she makes everything easy. I miss her already. Their flight will get there in another few hours so I'm just waiting for her to call.

"Elliot you're early." Ana comes in setting bags on the counter.

"Sorry I had nothing to do so I thought I'd hang out with this kid for a bit."

"It's fine he's very fond of you. Did he eat?" She looks at Teddy's messy face giggling.

"Not much he kept pushing it out."

"That just means he's had enough." Shit I'm force feeding the kid, great.

"My mistake I didn't know."

"It's fine. Christian does that too, he doesn't understand the idea of a baby not finishing a full meal."

"Where is my baby brother?"

"Carrying in groceries." She points and my brother has a shitload of bags and is bitching about them not being Eco friendly. A waste of material in his eyes.

"Gail told you about the other bags but you didn't want to take them so now you're stuck using plastic." Ana says annoyed.

"I can see shopping is a very enjoyable task for you both."

"Do you know how long we waited in line? Ten fucking minutes. What kind of fucking service is that. They didn't even open another line. Everything would have been faster if they did. What if someone has an emergency. If my parents are at the hospital I'm expected to just wait."

"Bro I'm pretty sure if Grace was in the hospital you wouldn't be grocery shopping. And that isn't a long time. You're just not used to all that normal people shit. Just because you're a millionaire doesn't mean we all answer to you."

"Oh yes because you are not a millionaire." He has a point but not to his extent.

"Anyways is Taylor here?" I need to get down to business. The sooner we find this guy and turn him in the sooner they can come back. He comes close to me hinting that he wants to talk about this elsewhere.

"We have some business to take care of. We'll be ready by the time we need to head to Bellevue." Ana agrees saying she's going to work on some things with Teddy. I love how she just goes with it.

"As far as I'm concerned no one knows about the break in. I told Ana about the fire but everything has been kept to ourselves. No one needs to worry more than they already do. I would like to keep it this way my wife doesn't need the stress." He's right the less people know the better we can deal with this. I follow him to his office where Taylor, Luke and Barney are already sitting. Why is Luke here. Christian hates Luke. I mean he's isn't such a dick but to have him in his house is kind of a stretch for the olive branch Christian extended after Mia talked to him.

"How's Lina?" Luke asks as I take a seat. He set the room up to look like a conference room so it has a full length table.

"She's okay. She's still shaken over what happened Friday but it's getting better. Her plane left this morning."

"Have you called her?" Christian asks.

"No she's still in the air. She'll call me when she lands."

"It was a good decision, sending them away. It's easier to look for him when Isabelle isn't a sitting duck in Seattle. Also Lina and Evan won't be in the way should the worst happen." If he gets them he'll kill Lina, Evan along with anyone else that is in the way.

"Have you seen the security tapes?"

"No I had made the copying then sent them to the detective without looking at them. I've been too busy trying to get Lina to agree about getting on the plane. She agreed two days ago. I would have put her on the next flight but she wanted one last day so the kids could spend together."

"She's stubborn but she cares more about her kids than anything." Luke said. He knew her well, they often spend time together when we are at family dinners.

"We have someone watching her in New York so there is nothing to worry about." Christian fills them in. I didn't tell her but the driver is going to be her CPO while she's away. That was a last minute precaution. "Elliot are you sure you want to see the tapes? Watching it won't matter, nothing affects how we look for him." Christian asks me.

"Listen bro I get you like to keep things in line and safe which is fine but this is my family. Keeping them safe is my job. Not in line because Lina would..." Lina would bitch about how they need some freedom, I think to myself but that doesn't matter. They don't need to know how pussy whipped I am. "Anyways this is my job I'm asking for help not for you to do it for me. So what ever is going on I want to know, you won't get to keep shit from me or hide it or not tell me what ever excuse you're going to use just shove it. If all you're going to do is keep shit then I can figure this out my way." I'm not about to be treated like a little bitch by my little brother because he needs to be in control of everything. Control went out the window when this bastard broke into my house and lit it on fire.

"Elliot I just want to make sure you do. You're in charge here." He assures me.

"Then play the stupid tape." It's not a tape. It's just a DVD that was edited by Barney so that it would play the 30 minutes that the he was in the house. Lina didn't want to talk about it so this is the first time I'll know what the fuck happened.

I watch to see that he went it through the gate by punching in our code. How he got it is beyond me. As far as I know just our family knows. Then he goes around the house until he finds a spot to stand. "From that angle you can see into Isabelle's room." Taylor tells me. How the fuck can I fix that? He stands there until the DVD shows a clip of Isabelle running down the hallway to Lina's room. A few seconds later Lina appears holding her hand. Just as she walks in Rick steps into the living room sliding door. Goes back to Lina who walks to our bedroom with the kids. He walks around a bit looking at things. He goes into my office and takes out a paper. "We zoomed in on that." Taylor says just as I'm about to ask.

"We have a clear picture of what he wrote i have not seen it." Christian says.

Just then Lina walks out of the room. What the fuck is she doing. Why is she leaving? I want to call her just yelling for something so stupid. My anger subsisted when I hear what he says to her. "So he wants her as a prostitute?" Luke asks taken back. "She's just a kid. She just turned six." Because this would be more appropriate in a few years. But now I understand why they didn't want to show me.

"Elliot?"

"Keep it playing." He really thinks that I would blame Isabelle for his shit? That's fucking crazy. She's a kid none of this is her fault. But if I ever see that fucking bastard-

"Elliot!"

"What?"

"The paper was things regarding her adoption and some details on Evan's birth. Nothing was relevant. I'm guessing it pissed him off so he went looking for her upstairs. Did he take anything? Anything of value."

"A watch in my office." Lina was upset when I told her but she could replace it. It's just a watch. "He took some credit cards from Lina's wallet she had it in my office from the night before."

"So we track them. Have you canceled them?" Taylor asks.

"No I thought about that too so I was going to tell you. She took mine to New York. So if it's being used in Seattle it's him. I'm sure someone as desperate as him will use them."

By the end that was our only lead. We just had to sit hoping that he would be stupid enough to use the cards. Lina still hadn't called me when we were leaving to Grace's which worried me but she had her hands full so I couldn't complain.

"Elliot how are you dear?" Mom says walking up to me.

"I'm fine mom. What's for dinner?" Everyone beat me here so I was the last to arrive. Everyone was seated around waiting for dinner. I knew this wasn't going to go over well because mom had set two other plates.

"I made Isabelle's favorite. For her anyways. Where is she. Are Lina and the kids almost here?" She looks at her watch slightly frustrated. She hates when people are late for dinner. Christian and Luke both look at me expecting to say something. Everyone is looking at me.

"They aren't coming mom." I say pulling on my hair.

"Where are they? Did something happen?" She asks worried. Christian must not have thought things out well because I wasn't sure how I was suppose to explain how I sent my wife away so she wouldn't get killed by some murderer who is after my daughter to force her into prostitution. I raise my eyebrows at Christian letting him know there is no fucking way out of this. I guess I'll just give them a watered down version of things.

"Someone broke into our house. We think it's a plan to get to my family so I sent them away to New York for a few weeks. They left this morning." I lean back waiting for her to yell.

"You sent them away without letting us even say goodbye? Elliot how could you? How could you send them away in general? If anything you should stay close together now. How could you not tell us about the house. You could have come here, you know that Elliot. We are your family all we want is to help you instead you throw her into a new city alone with two kids."

"I didn't throw her anywhere. I want her safe. You're house is practically down the street. I don't want this house to be added to the list of houses this guy has gone into. I especially don't need to add you and dad to his kill list. I'm doing this for their safety. I'd love going there with them but I have to stay here so they can find that piece of shit. Mom I did what I think is best for my family. I wasn't... It's done." I look down. I don't want to be mad at her but I can't have her thinking I'm sending them away for my benefit.

"Elliot I just think that-" I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. Fucking finally. I walk out to the back porch ignoring whoever is calling me.

"Lina?"

"Hey I just wanted to let you know we have arrived at JFK. I found the driver but now we are waiting for the luggage"

"Good. I'm glad it all went well. How are the kids? Were they okay to travel with?"

"Yeah we sat next to this old man in first class who wouldn't stop talking except when Isabelle was talking. She made a new friend on the plane. Evan fussed at first but once we took off he was his usual babbling self. How's everything over there?"

"It's fine. We have a plan. I'll tell you later so you can get settled."

"Okay well I love you. I'll call later tonight. Or I'll Skype." She says sadly.

"I love you too." I sit outside thinking that I should go back inside but I'm not sure I want to deal with mom right now. I'd go home but there is no one there.

"You okay son?" Asks dad walking out. He hands me a beer but I don't drink it. If I drink then I can't drive and I might have to leave suddenly but I won't drive buzzed. "Who called that made you run off without a word?"

"Lina she called to tell me they're in New York."

"You're mom is upset that we didn't get to say goodbye. Don't be so upset with her." He says defending her. I get it but they don't know what's going on.

"She's coming back. It's not like you'll never see them again. I don't have to explain myself to you anymore. I think I'm old enough to know what I'm doing without having to ask permission. You guys can still call her any time I just don't want them here."

"What's going on with you? Everything was going fine a few weeks ago. Did something happen with you and Lina?"

"No our relationship is going well."

"Then talk to your mother Elliot."

"I'm just going to get home. I told Lina ill call when I wasn't busy. No offense but I have work to do so I'd like to get it done early so I can call them." I stand up heading inside. I consider just walking past everyone but I can't do that to mom. I tell her goodbye hugging her but walk away before she says anything.

I was going to stay there a while but turns out I'm not good company. I start working on the plans to fix the part of the house that was burned last week. I'm thinking that I can fix it then sell the house. I'll end up selling the place in New York too, it's not like I ever go there anymore. Last time I went was over a year ago so it's just been sitting there.

I'm surprised to see her call me so early but still happy.

"Baby hey." God I sound so eager.

"Hi we're just about to go to bed so Isabelle wanted to say good night."

"Already?" I ask surprised.

"Yes with the time difference it's past her bed time already." Shit I forgot about that. Good thing she called or else I would have woken her up.

"Right well let me talk to her then." I'm glad she's happy to talk to me. I throught she'd be mad but she's just excited to show me the apartment so we get on Skype form Lina's iPad.

"Look daddy, look. Look at my bed it's so big and look," she sets the iPad down so I can watch as she climbs on the bed and begins to roll around. "It's so big and I never fall. Doesn't that look super fun? It's almost like moms new bed." She takes the ipad again walking to the living room. "And it's so pretty outside with all the lights. Mommy said that we can go the park maybe tomorrow or the next day. I forgot the name of the park." She stops to think about it.

"Central Park?"

"That one. And we are going to get Evan a stroller so we can walk a lot because cars are so slow. In the street there was like a million cars. Mommy said there was traffic but I didn't see anything called traffic."

"Traffic is when there is a lot of cars in the streets."I explain to her.

"Oh yes that was traffic. What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting in my bed talking to my little princess."

"Where is she I don't see anyone?" She moves the device so she can see me from a different angle but only succeeds in moving her camera around.

"You are my princess. I'm talking to you." She starts giggling. "Want to see my room again?" I nod.

She shows me what will be her room while she's there then moves to what's her aunts room even though Virginia won't arrive until tomorrow. Lina had to buy something for Evan to sleep in so she shows me that. It works well for Lina because while I keep Isabelle entertained she has time to bathe and change Evan.

"But I'm not finished." Isabelle wines when Lina takes away the ipad.

"Isabelle you can talk tomorrow it's bed time."

"Good night baby."

"Can I call you when I wake up?" She asks yawning.

"You can call anytime. As long as you don't wake your mom to call. I told you anytime. I love you baby."

"Love you too daddy." Lina sets the iPad down so I can watch as she tucks Isabelle in bed.

"So she's in bed. Hopefully she sleeps through the night. Evan has been asleep for a while because he doesn't care about time zones so I'll be up early. It's a nice place by the way. Just hold on while I change." I lay in bed staring at the screen waiting for her to appear again. Being alone in bed waiting for her to talk to makes me really regret making her go. I don't want Evan to forget me. It could be like when someone new holds him he starts to cry, what if that happens to me when I see him again. There's also the possibility of her meeting someone there which means she'll leave me, probably take the kids with her. Right now I have full custody of Isabelle but there is no way she wouldn't fight me for her. She loves the kids more than she loves me. That's a good thing because it shows what kind of mother she is but I don't want to lose her. If I do though it would be completely my fault.

"Hello?" She says snapping me out of it. I see this woman smile at me through the screen and I'm brought back to the fact that she still loves me now. Maybe it will change but she's mine now. "Where'd you go? You seemed out of it." She says as she positions her self in bed.

"I was thinking. I like your shirt." She took some of my shirts before she left.

"They smell like you. In a good way, plus it's not like you use them." She's right I don't, not to bed anyways. I'd much rather feel her skin.

"You sleep naked too."

"Because you take my clothes off in the middle of the night." That's true.

"You've never complained. Except that one time."

"I was asleep and you were ready to have sex with me. You were having sex with a corpse."

"You were moaning."

"I thought I was dreaming." She sheiks but then covers her mouth looking at Evan.

"Still sleeping?" She turns the camera so that I can see that he is still sleeping peacefully in his new crib. "A very hot corpse." She scrunches her nose the same way Isabelle does and it makes me laugh. "Tired?" The last thing I want is to keep her up when she could be resting.

"No my body is still on Seattle time."

"Your body." I say slowly. Lina's always been very innocent and traditional when it comes to things, sex. Very vanilla as Christian would call it. It doesn't bother me but sometimes I want to see how far I can push her.

"My body misses your body." She whispers.

"I know the feeling." Now seems like a good time to test it. "Take of the shirt."

"What?" I caught her off guard.

"Take it off." I repeat.

"Evan is in here." She looks to where the crib is. Shit I guess not tonight. "You know I'm still mad that you sent us all the way here away from you. I think that you can wait for release until I get back. Consider that your punishment for sending us away."

"Is that what you think? That I sent you away from me?" I ask seriously.

"Isn't that what you did?" She says smiling.

"No... I." For some reason hearing it from her really pisses me off. She knows that's not the reason yet she continues to think that I somehow enjoy being away from them. She might be joking but it isn't funny. This fucking asshole running around isn't funny. Her looking for him when he could have easily killed her isn't funny. "You're tired. I'll let you sleep. Goodnight Carolina." Fuck I didn't want to call her by her full name. I don't do it on purpose, it just slips out when I'm pissed off like I am now.

"What? No Elliot I want to talk. Please don't hang up."

"Night baby." She says something but I've already hung up. I change into some shorts and a hoodie so I can go on a run. I need to think and get all this fucking sexual frustration out of my system. Not that it will help but maybe I'll be exhausted enough to sleep. I'm not sure how far or for how long I ran but I know that it was a long ass time. I have my phone but it's off. As soon as I turn it on then I'm sure I get a fucking load of messages and missed calls. I'm not ready to feel guilty for hanging up on her. I must have been gone for over two hours. Later I find out that I was right, over two hours. It felt good though to just be away from the quiet house.

After taking a long cold shower I get something to eat and check my emails. Everything is pretty normal which is good because outside of work my life is a mess. I miss the days when it was normal with my family. When I could go to the fucking store and not worry about someone hurting her. I know if we'll get back to that life soon but for now we'll have to settle for this long distance. For conversations on Skype and phone calls.

I should call and apologize. She deserves that. She does what I ask her to, yet I act like a dick. It's around 12 in New York now but I can't wait till morning because if I do then she'll think I'm still mad so she won't call me. Not that she should, if anything I'm the one who should be calling her asking for forgiveness. I turn my phone back on waiting for the angry messages but there aren't any. Instead I find 13 missed calls and a few messages from her. The last one was sent an hour ago. I start reading them from the first she sent after I hung up.

**Don't be mad at me it was a joke. -C**

**I love you, please call back. -C**

**Answer the phone. -C**

**I'm sorry. -C**

**Getting worried here. Just let me know you're okay. -C**

**I miss you. Please talk to me. -C**

The last message is a long one.

**I know why we are here. I agreed for a reason. But you promised me the night I agreed that you wouldn't blow us off yet here you are not answering me. What if something important happens and I NEED to talk to you? You know I was joking so just answer the phone. I don't want this to be why we dont work out or for this distance to be the start of a bigger fight that we may not come out off. I didn't want to come here because I thought that if we were away from you then you would stop seeing us as important. But these are your kids and I love you. We are a family. Just please talk to me Elliot. I miss you. Call me back. -C**

I'm definitely the biggest douche of the year. She shouldn't feel that way ever. "She's scared to lose you. In anyway possible." Andy said once. She was talking about something physically happening to me but now I see that there is more to this. She won't lose me but she doesn't know that. As far as she's concerned I'm here in Seattle having a vacation from my family when in reality I'm miserable.

Another text message comes through.

**Going to sleep. Hope you're okay. Please at least just call Isabelle tomorrow. You know how she gets. Good night Baby. -C**

I can just imagine her upset right now. If she was here she would have cornered me until I talked to her but for now I'll just keep quiet. I hate that she worries though. She shouldn't. I'll call tomorrow. I go to bed thinking about how quiet this fucking house is. Even though it's night the only noise is coming from me breathing. Lina moved a lot during the night and when she does she usually is groaning but now it's just me. And George who's in the room. I felt like a little pussy for bringing him here but I thought it might make me feel better but the damn dog snores. I'm sure if I call she'll answer but I don't want to wake her.

Somehow sleep finds me.

* * *

**Sorry for the last chapter being so short. I've been trying to do Mia and Luke's next chapter before changing things to their new story. That's for reading and reviewing. And the Rick situation will be solved soon so we can get back to all the good times for Elliot and Lina. I'm thinking we will expand their family a bit. Or the wedding not sure which first. **


	17. Chapter 17

"Well if it isn't husband of the year." Says Virginia sarcastically on the phone.

"Hello Virginia." She must have arrived earlier to the apartment with Lina.

"What did you do to my sister?" She says sternly.

"What are you talking about?" I ask even though I know what she's talking about.

"You know what. What's got her all upset?" She asks. "Seriously though I got here and she was upset she hasn't said anything but I know it's about you."

"Maybe it's not. Maybe it's about someone else." I tell her pushing off the question.

"Well first you don't deny it so it has to do with you and usually you two would be all lovey and whatnot, you would also be asking being all worried if she's okay, but instead she hasn't talked to you once and you haven't called. Until now, somethings up. Just tell me so I can help her. That's why I'm here ain't it?"

"I hung up on her and it doesn't matter I'm calling now so can I talk to her?" I don't know why I'm explaining it to her I called to apologize to Lina not her sister.

"You can but that would involve me waking her and she's pretty tired. She's still trying to get Evan used to New York time."

"Please wake her. I know your on her side of things but I need to talk to her."

"I'm on the side that makes Lina happy. We have a common goal here. It's not you against her. So yes I will wake her. Because you make my sister happy. She loves you Elliot just be gentle with her, she's sensitive." I hear as she walks around then tries to get Lina awake. "It's Elliot. No he's on the phone. He said to wake you." There's some shuffling and muffled talking.

"Hello?" She says tired.

"I'm sorry to wake you but I needed to talk to you."

"What is it?" She sounds nervous.

"Well nothing I just wanted to apologize for yesterday." That's a start. I'm not sure what else to say so I just wait.

"Oh ok." She says slowly. "Did you want to talk to Izzy?"

"No. I do but I want to talk to you first. Lina yesterday, I went to my moms and she was upset at how I sent you away. Which is what I did. That's what happened but I'm not doing it for me. I really do need you safe."

"I know. I was joking. But you just got upset so easily. And did you get my message yesterday?" All of them. They only added to the guilt.

"Yea but that's crazy Lina. You're my family, how could you even think that one day you would not matter to me. I've constantly told you how important you are. Don't be insecure about that. Have I ever given any indication that I would lose interest. You have to stop that." I hear her sigh.

"I know. I don't know why I feel that way. You never have shown interest in anyone but-"

"No buts baby. I haven't so please just know I won't leave you okay?" I wait for her to responds. "This is why I want to be married. Maybe you would be more sure of me if we were."

"I want to marry you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know you love me. I'm tying... To not be so insecure. I am."

"I know baby. I'm trying too. I shouldn't have ignored you like I did yesterday. I was upset. I'm sick of people pinning this shit on me."

"That's true. Everyone is blaming you but on some level I wanted to leave Seattle too. In my head you would have come with me but I didn't feel safe there." She's never mentioned this to me. Why hasn't she? She's not ashamed of this is she? Being scared is normal. She's the only one who went through shit but that doesn't mean that I don't feel bad about it. I'm suppose to be the father, the man of my family and I can't seem to keep my girlfriend safe in our own home. It's as if I failed her somehow. She'd never blame me but that doesn't me I don't blame myself.

"I'm sorry baby. I promise it won't happen again."

"Kay. How was your day?" She asks changing the subject. I tell her about work and a new house we are going to start building for some rich guy. I met him a few months ago but this guys is so fucking indecisive I don't know how the fuck I'm going to ever even get started. So far all we have planned is the demolishing of the current house then we can get started on the architectural of the house. Lina told me about her sister and how she and Isabelle went out for a while while Evan and Lina slept. They just got back from their outing.

"She's in the shower now but I'm sure she'll be done soon. If you wait you can talk to her. It's almost bed time for her anyways."

"No I can wait." I get comfortable on the couch.

"So how is everything with finding Rick?"

"It's okay. He took your cards and that's all we have to go on now." It's fucking ridiculous that all we can do right now is wait for him to magically appear.

"Well it's something at least. We just have to wait, be patient. He seemed to be in a hurry to find her lately so I hope he's stupid enough to use them."

"So do I. I wish we had more to go on but it's a start. Hows Evan?"

"Adorable as always. He's awake at the moment on his back playing with some toys. Evan just learned this really funny thing called pulling mom's hair which he loves. He makes that face where he scrunches his nose." I hear him blabbing in the background and I know exactly what face that is. He always uses that face when he is playing with his pacifier.

"Yes I love pulling mommy's hair too. But I only do it when mommy likes it." I hear her giggle and it makes me laugh.

"Mommy loves when you pull her hair too. Especially during sex in the kitchen, or anywhere for that matter. Mommy really needs sex right now." I groan at her. Fuck I wish I was with her now.

"Mommy needs to stop or else she'll be pregnant again in the next year."

"Mommy says she'll stick to masturbating then. Or oral."

"To what? What are you talking about. You're disgusting. Poor child you're scarring him." Shouts he sister in the background. I can't help laughing when I hear Lina laugh too.

"What he won't remember anything and it's just sex. It's how he was made made." Lina says to her sister.

"So doesn't mean you have to scar the poor kid. Let's go baby where you won't hear these nasty people talk. They're disgusting." I'm assuming they walked out because her voice fades off.

"Isabelle is out of the shower. Can you talk to her while I put Evan to sleep and give him a bath?" I tell her I can so she puts the iPad on Isabelle's room. We talk about what she did today. She's really enjoying Virginia there. I read her a bed time story until I see that she fell asleep. I sit waiting for Lina watching Isabelle sleep. She makes faces as she sleeps which are adorable. She's pretty cute if I do say so myself. That's not me being a biased parent she really is the cutest kid. "Are you just watching her sleep?" Lina whispers when she walks into Isabelle's room.

"Yea." I admit.

"I do that too. She makes funny faces. I just fed the baby so now I'm going to lay in bed and watch some tv talking to you until you hang up on me." She says sitting on the bed.

"What are you watching?" She blushes before she tells me she's watching that dating show again. "What channel? I'll watch it with you." She smiles at me knowing that I'll watch this annoying as fuck show just so it can be like in with her somehow.

Luckily Lina is a forgiving person when it comes to me. She never hates me for too long even though a majority of the time, always, deserve it.

The next few days are spent in that fashion. I call them in the morning and they tell me their plans. At night I call Lina so she and Isabelle can tell me how their plans went about. Just because they make plans doesn't mean they follow through. They were going to go ice skating with Isabelle but ended up staying in the apartment because Evan was crying.

"Is he sick or something?" I ask her.

"No I... Hold on I'm putting the phone down." There is some shuffling on the other line. "Ok sorry I have to feed him. God he eats forever so I'll be stuck here for an hour."

"Well I'm here for you. Do you want to get on Skype so you won't hold the phone?" Plus she's breast feeding. Not in a kinky way but I love watching. She says she does and in a few minutes much to Evan's impatience, we have set up the screen.

"Have you shaved?" She asks once she sees me. Fuck I forgot again. I always Skype with Isabelle but not Lina. I missed seeing her face. She has a beautiful smile, perfect teeth with full lips.

"Um no." I didn't see the point. I usually would but Lina is t here so it doesn't matter. I used to do it to impress women but now I have Lina and she's too far to care.

"Oh. I mean you don't look bad but it's different. You should at least trim the edges baby. You're hair looks darker. More I don't know." She blushes looking down at Evan.

"I'll shave soon. Since my fiancé doesn't like it." I says smiling at her.

"Your fiancé loves you no matter how you look."

"My fiancé is hot." She is. She's beautiful, sexy, smart, she's fucking perfect.

"You're fiancé says thanks."

"He's not tired is he?" Evan is fully awake just eating.

"No he's... Shit. Holy fuck." She pulls Evan off her breasts.

"What? Are you okay baby?" She scoffs looking at me.

"He bit me. That hurts." She palms her breast somewhat surprised.

"He has teeth?" This is what I get for being away from them. I'm going to end up missing a lot of Evan's firsts.

"No just with his gums. But that's a lot more painful then it looked." She continues to rub around her nipples when Evan cries again, he's probably still hungry so she moves him so he can latch on again. We talk normally until he bites her again. She moves him to the other side so that he may stop but it doesn't work. Just when i think he stopped she tell me that he's still doing it but she's just ignoring the pain. "It's okay. He still needs to eat." After a while longer she hangs up to sleep. I've been keeping her up lately but she said she doesn't mind.

"Wake up Elliot. We have to go." Someone says interrupting my sleep.

"What the fuck. Go away. It's too fucking early to be awake so early. Damn it." I say pushing who ever is next to my bed.

"Rick used the cards." That got my attention.

"Christian how the fuck did you get in here?"

"I used your key. Get up before we lose them." He says pushing me off the bed. I run around my room getting some jeans and shirt and my phone. I get some sneakers I can put in the car.

"Where is he?"

"Olympia. He used it at a mall." What time is it? It's about to be eight. Fuck I guess it's not early. "Why the fuck are you sleeping?" He says as we drive through the streets.

"Some of us don't have the luxury of sleeping in until seven am Christian which means we have to sleep early. Why the fuck are we here?" We pull into the bays of Escala.

"We are taking Charlie tango to Olympia. It's faster. It only seats five. It will be us Taylor, Luke, and Ryan. Mia doesn't know so don't answer her calls." He says as we get out.

"Sir the cards were being used all day today. Seems as if they are going on shopping trip." Luke meets us on the helipad of the building. we get in and get strapped into the seats. It's not until we have the headphones on until Taylor continues. "They were used for a large amount in a Jewelry place. They notified the card company who transferred the call to my people." I remember telling Taylor to transfer any calls from the credit card company from my phone to his when we first set out to track them by the cards.

"Ok so now what?" I ask when he's done.

"Now we have the employees stalling them in the store as much as possible. They've been there for at least half an hour from the time they called to now. So chances are low of actually finding him there."

"Why didn't they tell the police he's still a wanted man?" He did kill someone I don't get how hell just walk around like nothing is wrong.

"He wasn't there long. He was with a woman. The woman is being stalled and we don't want to cause a scene this way we can catch him quickly and quietly." I don't give a fuck about a scene I want them to find this piece of shit. We go over the plan to have Luke approach the woman because I'm too familiar. Christian is a public figure and Taylor is the boss so he's the one with a plan. Ryan is here as back up security for Christian in case something goes wrong.

"Where does Ana think you are?" I ask Christian. He stiffens and fists his hands.

"Getting drunk at your house. Guys night."

"She probably knows you're lying." I say laughing. Ana's too smart to fall for some shitty excuse as boys night. Sure Christian has been loosening up lately but boys night is stupid.

"I know she does. She also knows that but that's why she sent Ryan."

"That's cute. You're wife demands you have a body guard." I say pinch chin his cheek.

"You're girlfriend sent me." Luke says from behind me. Yeah I believe that.

"I have two kids, I need more protection than any of you. Or all of you combined."

"Fuck lelliot when did we get so old?" Christian says looking at me.

"When you met Ana." That's when our lives started changing. "It's crazy to think that two years ago we were all single. Except Taylor. Now we are looking for some psycho."

"It's better now. If we look at the general picture of our lives. Everything has gotten better." Luke says. He's starting to grow on me. I try to not be to friendly in front of Christian but that guy is good to have around in situations like this.

"I'm glad my sister has you. There are things I can live without seeing but you're good for her. You helped her grow up. Thanks for being with her. For taking care of her."

"I do it for her. And no one is going to die we don't have to go around telling each other our secrets and shit. Toughen up Elliot." Fuck I'm a pussy. I don't think anything will happen. We will all be fine.

As we start landing Taylor let's us know that a car is waiting for us even though the mall is five blocks from the landing pad we are using. The faster we get there the better.

"How's Lina?" Luke asks while we wait in the car.

"She's good. Evan started biting today. And Isabelle is having fun." He nods his head. I'm aware this is all small talk to fill the silence.

"What did he bite?"

"Lina's finger."

"He's probably teething soon. Teddy was the same way but then he started getting a fever. It was just his teeth coming in. You can see them now." Christian says. He'll take any chance he can to talk about Teddy. I'm the same way with Evan. I'm glad their close in age because Lina isn't budging on another baby. I won't dare to ask because of how emotional she was with Evan the first few months but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't want another one. Preferably soon but I'm not picky.

"Have you and Ana talked about another baby?" I ask him.

"Yes." He smirks at me. Fucking asshole. "She said to fuck off. She even asked me to get snipped. But there is no way I'm doing that. Especially not when she's so young. She will change her mind." That sounds more like Ana.

We park in a handicap spot then walk to where the jewelry store is. There are two woman who are talking with an employee. They look about 24 maybe a little older but they are on something. They have short skirts and thin low cut shirts. One of them sees us and walks out without another word. The other eyes us and turns back to the sales person. Taylor says she's the one so Rick is gone.

"We should go he isn't here. Let's find any cameras and see if we can find where he left to." I'm not leaving. No fucking way. I have to talk to her. She may know him. It's not by chance she has my cards.

"Hey." I says smiling at her. She looks at me but turns away quickly. "Where'd you get the cards?" She has a half smile then looks away.

"You can't afford me. Just walk away." Oh she is one of those girls. I thought she wouldn't be but might as well go with it. Luke stays behind and the other guys leave probably to see if there is any footage of Rick anywhere.

"You've been using my money all day. I'd say I can afford you. Ten of you." I smirk at her. She look down at how I'm dressed, she might believe Christian more.

"I don't work just anywhere." She says as she takes a step closer leaning forward.

"Then where can I meet you." I take a step closer. I hear Luke clear his throat but I don't care I need to find him. She writes down an address and puts it in the front pocket of my jeans. They give her whatever she bought as she's about to leave.

"I'll be there tonight." She says winking at me. I walk up to Luke who looks like he might castrate me.

"Do you know Stephanie?" I ask randomly. It's a long shot but I might as well try. She stops mid step and turns to face me. The color has drained from her face.

"How do you know her?" How do I know her? Technically I don't but what do I say.

"She's... We're related, cousins." I tell her.

"Then why did she send you to me?" She asks.

"She didn't. I'm looking for some one, Rick. You know him?" She looks around nervously.

"I can tell you tonight." She's probably afraid they're watching her. She's about to walk away again but stops. "How's Isabelle? Is she..."

"She's good. Very good." She smiles sadly. She definitely knew her. One step closer.

"Is steph okay?" Fuck she doesn't know.

"No she isn't." The other girl comes back and they walk away.

"You do realize she just stole like ten thousand dollars from you and you just let her leave right?" Says Luke. What the fuck?

"On what?" I ask him.

"She bought ten grand worth of stuff just now. And since you were here they approved it. Plus it's on credit."

"Let's not tell my girlfriend that got it?" I say walking to where Christian and the other guys are.

"Are you going to tell her you got some whores phone number?" He says when we finally reach them. Christian looks like he's about to hit me.

"She knows Stephanie and Rick. And Isabelle she has to know where he is. She gave me an address so I can talk to her later." I say defensively.

"Talk, right. Where are you gonna talk with her? Her bed some alley way where you can screw her." Luke says. Is he fucking joking.

"What the fuck is your problem. You don't know shit about what she said and I wouldn't cheat on Lina. So just calm fucking down." I say getting close to him.

"Dont fucking cheat on Lina. She's too good to have some shitty guy step all over her." He says getting close to me.

"I'm not stepping. All over her. You don't know one thing about me and my wife so shut it."

"She isn't you're wife she's your girlfriend." Ryan pulls him away before he has a chance to finish. Or before I knock him out piece of shit. Christian looks at us irritated.

"You're meeting a whore?"

"I'm not explaining my self to you little brother." I don't have time or patience to put up with their bullshit.

"Elliot's right though we should talk to her. But you shouldn't be the one to do it." Ryan says after he comes back with Luke.

"We said this was my issue I'm not going to let any of you do this. It's not a fucking negotiation." Funny thing is I'm taller than all these guys and they want to come and tell me what to do.

"But you also said you have two kids and a wife who need you. If shit happens you have the most to lose. And you're not a liar to Lina. How the fuck is she going to react when you tell her you're going to meet with a hooker alone. Lina trusts you but that doesn't mean she's stupid either. I'll go. I'll talk to this girl. I'm the only one who doesn't have to explain things to anyone. And I'm more qualified than you to take care of myself, sir." He adds just for good measure.

He's right. I can't push Lina's trust and I have to think of them if something happens.

"He's right Elliot." Christian says. That pisses me off though. Son of a bitch thinks I would do that. Without another word to anyone I leave and start pacing round the car.

A while later Luke comes up to me. What the fuck does he want now.

"What?" I snap at him.

"She's a good person. Somewhat naive and too forgiving. Not just to you. It wasn't my place to assume anything of you. I spoke based on what I saw."

"I wouldn't sleep around. I wouldn't do that to her." I shout at him. It's more out of frustration in the situation but he added to it.

"I know. Hell Lina would have dumped your sorry ass if she even thought you were being unfaithful. She's good but not stupid. And she would know. She's scary like that." We drive out to where the address is but Lina calls. She shouldn't be now. It's late. She should be asleep. She'd only call this late if something was wrong.

"Hey what's wrong? Are the kids okay?" I ask right as I answer.

"What no. They're fine. Nothing's wrong." Then why is she calling now. Not that I mind but it's not like her to call this late or to stay awake this late. "Well there is something wrong," fuck I knew it. I'm mentally planing how long it will take to get to New York. I'm thinking five hour flight maybe longer but by the time we get back to Seattle. So it would take what ten hours? "It's just the heater in the apartment shut off and we are literally freezing." She says chuckling. I start to laugh and everyone in the car looks at me. Christian just smirks beside me from eavesdropping. "Don't laugh seriously we are all awake because it's so cold."

"I'm sorry baby. I can get you guys a room at a hotel." I hear Isabelle in the background.

"No we can stay it's just I can't even find the thing. So we thought you might be able to tell us." Damn it's been so long I'm not even sure. I think about it for a minute before I remember.

"Yea it's in the living room behind the curtain."

"Behind... Virginia take the kids to my room. Just sleep in my bed. No I got it. Sorry Virginia is here using my kids body heat." She shuffles around a bit. "Found it. Okay thanks baby. I'll let you sleep."

"No problem. Anytime." I says hanging up. But she calls back a few minutes later.

"I forgot to tell you I love you. That and I have no idea how this thing works." She send me a picture if it so I can see what it looks like. I give her instructions and stay on the line until it's back on. "Thanks Elliot. You're a life saver. Ok goodnight. I love you. Be safe." She says just before hanging up.

"See that's why you shouldn't get into messy shit. She needs you. Not just for things like that but she depends on you. You don't see it but it's true." Says Christian next to me. I know he's right but I still want to see this through. "Ready?" He asks Ryan. He nods just as he's about to get out. Waiting is annoying as fuck. All we do is sit here we wait for him to get back.

...

I think it was an hour that he was gone. Luke and Taylor said if he dint get back within two they would go find him. But he came back. We started throwing questions at him but he wasn't saying much until we all shut up.

"She said she works for him. He comes by every Wednesday to collect. She was friends with Ms. Anderson when they worked together a few years back. She worked here after she was let go from her job because she couldn't work anymore. Anderson had already had the baby at the time she started. She came here after her relation with Mr. Grey. She didn't directly mention you but she said she came after the playroom incident so that's when she was desperate for money. She dated Rick for a few months then he forced her into this they broke up but last year they got back together. She didn't start doing drugs until she met Rick. She was pretty clean before. She said Wednesdays. So that's our best bet to find him. On Wednesday."

"So Rick isn't her father?" I ask to clarify.

"They were close but no he wasn't. She doesn't know who is but neither did Stephanie." I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not but at least we know now.

"Then we'll come back Wednesday." Christian says.

"She gave me her phone number and she has mine incase anything happens." Ryan says.

"Wednesday." Taylor says. "We'll get a team in place. But what would you like to do when we find him?" He says looking at me. truth is I have no fucking clue. I shrug my shoulders and we head back to Seattle. Back to the lonely as fuck house where there is no one waiting for me. I fall asleep easily because it's late and the next day sucks just like the rest of this week. Normally I would be happy that's it's the weekend but not now. Now I'm thinking of making plans to keep myself busy since I have nothing to do.

If everything goes well he could be caught that Wednesday and Lina and the kids will be on their way home Thursday. That's six days. Only six. Fuck it. Six is too many days.

"Last call for flight 218 to Chicago." They say in the airport. I'll be home sometime tonight. I'll take a flight from Seattle to Chicago then from there to New York. Then a taxi ride to the apartment. I sit next to a woman with a newborn who apologized in advance if the baby cried. It didn't bother me though. It just reminded me of my kid. All I thought about was finally seeing my son and daughter. A week feels too long without them.

I talked to her this morning and an hour before I decided to take this flight so she doesn't know I'm coming. I hope she isn't pissed me for not telling her.

After hours of traveling I get in the apartment I using a key from the lobby mist dead silent and I can't wait to finally sleep. Evan is sleeping peacefully in his crib while Lina's tiny frame is curled up on the bed. I take my shirt, pants and shoes off quietly just before getting in bed behind her. She shifts and looks back at me.

"Elliot?" She asks looking at me.

"Hey." I say smiling at her. She probably can't see me because it's dark though.

"What are you doing here? I've missed you." She turns on her side to face me.

"I missed you too. I came to visit you. I hope that's okay. Sleep baby. I'll be here in the morning." Because she's too tired to react she turns back over so he back is to my front.

"I love you Elliot." She mumbles sleepily. I kiss her shoulder wrapping my arm around her waist before going to sleep not worrying for the first time all week.


	18. Chapter 18

I had a pretty good view the next morning. It was of my very hot, very shirtless fiancé smiling at me. He was propped up on his elbow looking at me. I was still tired so I didn't appreciate it as much as I could have but after five minutes of having my eyes closed I could begin to smile at the sight of finally being with him again. He didn't say anything just pressed his lips against mine slowly moving them. I threw my leg over his hips pushing him back against the mattress. His hands went to my cheeks and his thumb drew circles into my skin. After a long lingering kiss I pulled back smiling at him. I had my palms on the side of his face and my hair formed a curtain around our faces.

"Hi." I said smiling shyly at him. I didn't want to get too excited.

"Hey baby. Good morning." It was a very good morning so far.

"What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would have gone to the airport to pick you up." I've missed him like crazy.

"It was a last minute decision. I knew nothing significant would happen at home this weekend so I took the first flight here. To Chicago then New York but it doesn't matter. I'm here now." He pulls my head down to kiss me again. I can't even kiss him properly because I'm smiling so much. He moves my hair to one side as I sit back. I feel his morning wood against my ass but I can't have sex while Evan's in the room that feels... Wrong.

"So tell me how's everything going?" He asks me.

"We talk every night. I tell you then. Or were you not paying attention." I raise my eyebrow at him.

"I was but it's different when we're in person. Talk to me Baby." I peck his lips just before climbing off him and lying down next to him. He gets on his side using his hand to prop up his head so he can look at me. I give him a run through of our week as he listens intently asking questions and playing with the ring on my finger. Soon enough I run out of things to say and his face becomes serious. "Do you like the ring? I can get a different one if that's what you want?" He says after minutes of moving it around.

"No I love it. It's perfect. At first I thought it was too much but I love it. "What is it?" He's thinking about some thing. I don't think it's bad but he keeps staring at my ring.

"Marry me?" He asks looking away from the ring into my eyes. I give him a questioning look. We are already engaged I don't know why he's asking this.

"Marry me? Today?" He says looking at me. Today? What brought this on. I can't even speak. I'm not sure what to think of this. He licks his lips and shifts even closer to me. "I was talking with Luke and something happened, it made me realize that we go on pretending to be married. I love you and we say that we are married. I talk about you as if you're my wife, you talk about me to people saying I'm your husband. In my head when I think about who you are, I see my wife. I'm tired of playing house with you. I want to be married to you. Lina we have family. Two amazing as fuck kids-" I reach up to kiss him so he can shut up. He's sounding hysterical. I pull back and look at him, with my best poker face I nod. I can't help but smile at him.

"Yes. Yes I'll marry you." I say. I'm tired of waiting too. I want him. Completely, fully, entirely, selfishly, all to myself. Mine. My husband. I reach for him pulling him on top of me. He doesn't expect it so his full body weight falls on me but I don't mind. Or I do mind but only because it's not close enough. I need more. I want him, last name and all.

"Wait really?" He says breaking the kiss.

"Shut up yes. Kiss me." I demand pulling him to me again.

"Lina. Really?" He says still shocked.

"Yes. I don't want to wait anymore either. I want you all to myself. Well to share with our kids but mine." I'm such a girl I'm getting teary eyed.

"God Lina do you know how much I love you." I don't know how long we stayed in bed kissing and smiling but it was long enough that we stopped when Evan woke up. We got dressed while burping or feeding him but all I could think about was being married to this crazy man in front of me.

As much as I enjoyed the moment of realization, the reality of things hit me. We were in a different state away from our house.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked when my smile disappeared.

"Elliot we need our documents to get married."

"I'm pretty sure we have our IDs baby."

"Well we need that and our birth certificate." Some how our celebration ended. "Can't you call someone to bring them. Tell Scott I'm sure he'd do it." I suggest. "He and Virginia can witness."

"Yea. Why not just Christian?" He asks.

"Because he'll tell your parents and they'll call Mia. Who will call Andy who will call my parents. Then they'll all work together and make us not do it but I want to do it. Scott and Virginia can keep a secret though."

"Smart girl. See this is why I want to marry you." He gets his phone to call Scott. And after watching the one sided conversation he finally hangs up. "He says that he will head to our house in a few minutes. The next flight leaves in less than two hours so he'll be here by then. He'll call in a bit so we can tell him where they are. Yours is in my office right? I think you gave it to me when we talked to the social worker for the adoption."

"Yea it's there. Elliot!" I sheik shaking his shoulders. He smiles just before he kisses me again. We get dressed then go to the kitchen with Evan to make our pre-wedding breakfast. He brings in my computer to see if we need anything else for our marriage license.

"What's for breakfast ?" Asks Virginia walking in. "Oh hello there random man in the fridge." She says to Elliot. "When did... When did he get here?" She asks confused. She was home late so she didn't even see him.

"Sometime last night?" I really want to tell her.

"So you guys are good now? You don't hate each other anymore?" I shake my head biting my lip. I'm secretly waiting for her to ask something so that I can tell her. I know she's going to freak out, in a good way but I need someone to be excited with me. Elliot's excited but I need girl over the top freaking out excited. "Did you finally have sex?" I eye her carefully.

"What?" Elliot asks spilling his water.

"Is that why you're all smiley? Because it's kind of creepy. It's okay like have sex, awesome. I would love more nieces and nephews." She holds her hands out in surrender. "You're munchkin is up?" I hand her Evan so I can get Isabelle up.

"Morning baby. How'd you sleep?"

"Good. Can I eat pancakes mommy?" She says groggy. With much difficulty I pick her up and she rests her head on my shoulder.

"Sure anything you want. I have a surprise for you."

"Maybe later. I'm so sleepy." She says yawning and closing her eyes.

"You'll like this surprise. Look." I set her on the counter and try to pry her off me so she can see her dad. She rubs her eyes but smiles when she sees Elliot in the kitchen.

"Daddy. Oh daddy." She says as he picks her up. I can see she's holding on to him for dear life and it's so cute to see how much she loves him. "I miss you."

"I missed you too baby. Hey don't cry I'm right here." I smile at him then get started on breakfast. Breakfast is quiet with no opportunity to tell Virginia. I wish she would ask not that she would know what to ask for but this is miserable.

"So what are you guys doing today?" She asks as she sits on the counter while I clean up.

"Scott's coming so there's that." I say casually. Isabelle leaves to clean her room. "And we um... We are getting married today.." I says smiling at her. He jaw visibly drops for a second before she starts jumping on me like a banshee.

"What? Oh my freaking god! Really? Why didn't you tell me before?" She says hugging me so my face is pressed on her chest to where I can't breathe.

"We just decided this morning. So will you be my witness?" I ask her.

"Lina. Of course. I'm so happy for you." And now she's crying. "Sorry, I'm just so happy for you. When are momma and daddy coming?"

"You know them Vee. They'll try to make me feel guilty about it."

"That's okay. Don't tell them then. God Ann's going to be pissed I'm here and she isn't. That's what she gets for being married." I roll my eyes at her.

"So Scott just left he house he has our birth certificates and will be taking off in an hour. He's going to meet us at the court-house because they close within a two-hour window of him getting here." Crap.

"No call him back!" I grab his phone before her can say anything.

"I'm on my way man relax." Says Scott in an annoyed tone.

"No it's me. I need you to get something else. In the garage there is a black box that has my papers in it I need something from there." I tell him half panicking. I give him instructions on how to find it and open it.

"Ok what do you need that you can't seem to live with out?" Elliot and Virginia are watching me intently which makes me nervous.

"There is a folder its bright orange like a neon color. It has Damien's name on it. From inside I need the death certificate. It should be one of the first pages." He says he found it and is bringing it over as well. We hang up and Virginia leaves us alone.

"Lina, are you okay?"

"It's over. That doesn't mean it's not weird for me to have someone's death certificate. And the state of New York requires it." Some part of me knows that I'll never truly be free of Damien. He'll always be a memory that will be in my mind. I'll always love him but I can't think about it now.

"Are you sure?" He takes a step toward me.

"I love you. Let's not worry about that now. Just us." I wrap my arms around his neck so he can forget about it. I don't want to talk about Damien. I kiss his lips just as something comes to me. "Virginia can you watch the kids for a bit?" She agrees so I gab Elliot's hand leading him walking backwards to our room. Once he sees what we are doing he smiles at me. He pushes me toward the bed but I don't want sex there. "Shower sex." I tell him as I remove my clothes.

There was something about this shower that when I first saw it I wanted to have sex with him here. And it was good. I mean sex with Elliot is always good but for some reason I felt so much more connected with him today. It felt as if he was doing it for us. Not just to please me or please himself.

"Aren't you getting dressed?" I asked when he was sitting watching me as I brushed my overly long hair.

"Yes. So I was in a hurry to get here so I forgot my clothes. I was about to miss he flight." He says sheepishly. So while we waited for Scott to land we were running around getting things done. We bought Elliot enough clothes for four days and a suit for the actual wedding. And I bought a simple, short ivory dress. It was a beautiful dress. Scott and Virginia took the kids out while Elliot and I went to apply for our marriage license. We were the last couple seen and it was only because the woman was nice enough to see us.

"There is a 24 hour waiting period and then the license will be valid for 60 days." She says as she hands us back our things. I couldn't stop smiling on our way to the restaurant to meet them.

"I guess we didn't get married today." I say pouting as we wait to be seated.

"No but tomorrow for sure." Elliot says as he takes Evan to follow the host. Scott is talking with Isabelle so I just follow Elliot. Who refuses to let go of my hand. He holds the chair out for me and pushes Scott when he tries to sit next to me. He's so affectionate today. Well he always is but he's doing it in a way that's appropriate for public. One we have the kids settled on either side of us he places his hand on the back of my chair. During dinner we can't seem to lose some sort of touching. It's not a sexual thing but I just want to be next to him. Even when I had to get up to take Isabelle to the bathroom I had to kiss him repeatedly before walking away.

Later in bed that day I turned to look at him.

"Elliot I still want a wedding."

"I knew this was going to happen. You would end up resenting me for this. Lina we don't have to do this. I don't want to force you." I know he was upset but I smiled at him anyways.

"I want to be your wife. I'm going to be your wife tomorrow, or later today since it's late. But later, when all this shit it over, we should have a formal wedding. Or just a party. But I'm not changing my mind. Please. Just so my parents can be there. And yours. Grace is going to hate us. Not more than Mia but still a lot." I kiss him parting my lips to give his tongue access in my mouth. "And don't ask me if I'm sure. I already said I am."

When I woke up a few hours later I walked in the kitchen to where Scott had already arrived and was talking to my sister.

"There's the bride. Aw she's the blushing bride." Scott says teasing me as my face turns red.

"Today's the day. The biggest day of your life." Virginia says giving me a cup of coffee. "At six you'll be Mrs. Elliot Grey. Are you excited?" She says jumping up and down.

"I'm very excited. We have to be at the court house at five. That's 24 hours and an hour before they close. So no bachelor parties Scott. I'm serious. And no strippers!" I point a finger at him.

"So I can't drive to Albany and see our last strip show?"

"No seriously Scott. I'm asking nicely here." Scott is like that sibling you have that never quite grows up so you have to set rules for. Over the last few months we've gotten along well, I see why Elliot loves him so much. He's a good guy to have. Not any friend would just fly across the country to give us a few pieces of paper.

"Fine mother, I will contain myself and not see naked woman dancing around a pole. No matter how much I want to." He's a bit of a player, like Elliot was. The difference is that Scott's a bit of a douche when it comes to women. Elliot was kind and at least have the decency to say he wasn't interested. Scott would just ignore someone. Blow them off, block them what ever he had to do so they would leave him alone. He was pretty loyal though. To Elliot and by default to me. I don't know if he likes me or not but he's good for Elliot he looks out for his friend's girl, which is me. I love Scott, to an extent. But if he so much as drives Elliot away more than ten miles from the court house after three I will castrate him.

"Morning." Elliot says walking in to the kitchen. He plants a soft wet kiss on my neck after wrapping him arms lovingly from behind. "You got up without me." He says nibbling on my skin.

"I thought you would sleep longer." I move my head so he has better access as he continue to place butterfly kisses along my neck then shoulders.

"Well we have a gift for you. From me and vagina. I mean Virginia." Scott says handing me a note.

"Shut up ass. A wedding present from the best man and maid of honor." Virginia punches his arm then winks at me. I guess this does make her my new MOH. I don't mind. Mia will be upset but she can be it when we have the big wedding.

I open the note to see a sentence.

"Guys you don't have to do that. We wouldn't ask this of you. You've already done so much by being here really." I say handing it off to Elliot.

"She's right we can't I mean thanks but that isn't your job."

"Give me my money." Virginia says extending her hand to Scott. He proceeds to hand her two hundred dollars. "I told him you would say that and loser pays two hundred bucks and changes Evan's diaper in the night. I win."

"Anyways. Come on it's only two nights but take it as a honeymoon thing. We can take the kids for two days. You'll be in the city so you can see them we can all go out but just leave them for the night with us. Enjoy your wedding. Work on number three." No, no number three.

"I'm more worried about my kids to be honest." Elliot says making me chuckle. I know he's joking. We trust these two with our lives which in turn are our kids.

"Think of it as my apology for last time." Scott says taking my coffee before I was able to drink it.

I look to Elliot for confirmation. It would be nice to have the night to ourselves. He nods so I guess that's okay. "Thanks Vee." I hug my sister trying to not get to emotional. I can't help it though. I'm excited. I'm also very grateful that's she's so supportive with this.

"I'm going to get Isabelle so we can get going. We can eat out for breakfast." I say turning around, wrapping my arms around Elliot's waist.

"What? We just ate breakfast?" Scott says annoyed.

"You can come too just get something small if you're not hungry. It's an open invitation." I tell him. He's such a baby.

"What are you three years old? Don't cry because they don't want to take you, you loser." These two have been bickering for hours. And they continue to do so when we go to breakfast. We manage to find an IHOP which is Isabelle's favorite a few minutes outside the city. They argue over who sits where,who carries what child. Where they sit in the car. Then we seat them together and he starts pulling her hair.

"Do you like my sister is that why you keep bugging her?" I ask when Virginia takes Isabelle to the bathroom.

"What? No! What, that's crazy she like tall and awkward. No!" He says scoffing.

"You act like that boy in Isabelle's class who pulls her hair because he has a crush on her."

"She's hot but she's not my type."

"Whore is his type." Elliot says matter of fact beside me.

"I like woman who are rated one through five only." He says smirking at Elliot from a private joke.

"Isn't that when a woman is not attractive?" I ask confused.

"She's probably a nine." Elliot says ignoring my question. I look between them. I hate when they have secret conversations in front of me.

"Daddy's so mean." I say talking to Evan who I have on my lap. He's chewing very focused on his teething ring. I turn him so he's facing me and kiss his chubby cheeks. He's so cute. I wipe the excess drool off his face but it's no use he starts again. "Not like you. You're so cute baby. Yes you are." I say making faces at him. He smiles but goes back to his little ring. I hand him to Elliot so Isabelle can sit with me for a while. She manages to eat all of her food which is good because she's too small I think so.

"Daddy is not mean." Elliot says lifting the baby in the air.

"Tell me Elliot." I grab his thigh squeezing.

"Scott and I used to rate girls one to ten. One being an easy lay. Ten being virgin till marriage. So your sister being a nine is a complement." He shrugs.

"She's more of a seven actually. But don't sleep with my sister. She's something else." Virginia despite being outgoing is one of those girls who doesn't take shit from anyone. Scott would be no exception.

"Now that you say that makes me want to screw her even more."

"Even more? So you wanted to?" I say adding to him embarrassment.

"There she is my future wife. The mother of my unborn children." He says as she comes back. He puts his arm around her but she tries to move away. They would be good together. They're very similar.

"So what's going on with the guy you're looking for?" We are waiting for it to be time to get the wedding bands before heading to the court house. We still have a few hours so we were sitting int Central Park watching Scott pick up girls with the baby. He was doing pretty well actually. But then again he always does.

Elliot clears his throat before telling us what happened. I bet Christian feels like shit. I know I would. But it wasn't his fault. She got addicted to pain meds and it started from there. There was nothing he did that triggered it. Plus it's not like she couldn't find a different job. She just got too addicted too quickly for anyone to notice. She also didn't have anyone to stop her. Then Rick came along and he didn't help her, just made it worst. Got her in that business adding insult to injury.

"So now you have a lead?" I ask him.

"Yeah." He doesn't elaborate much and he can't because Isabelle walks back. This isn't a subject we talk about with her. And to be honest all I needed to know was that there was some hope that we would be going back to him soon. This was all I could hope for. Well I could hope for a lot more but I figured I shouldn't be so demanding.

As soon as it starts getting cold we go back to the house so I can get ready. We are going to the court house then we will go out to dinner, then come back so Elliot and I can get our things so we can stay at a hotel for the night. He isn't going back to Seattle until Monday night so he can be at work Tuesday morning. Not the ideal honeymoon but still gives us time for us.

"Are you nervous?" Virginia asks while she straightens my hair.

"No. I'm excited actually." I say looking at my phone. Virginia was taking pictures of us when we were looking at wedding bands today.

"I'd be scared." She says quietly.

"Because of Damien?" I ask looking at her through the mirror.

"Yea. When I pictured you getting over or moving on from Damien I didn't think you would marry the first guy." She says shrugging.

"I dated in Nebraska and a few others after that but I didn't connect with anyone. They were so open and happy. I didn't want that. I wasn't looking really when I met Elliot. It just happened." She chuckles lightly. "What?"

"Nothing it's just you are... Intense." She smirks at me. "You have extremes. You either don't like someone at all or you fall completely in love with them. It's nice to see how much you can love."

"Well that's what I've wanted. Something all consuming. I can't love half way. You either love someone or you don't. With Elliot it was easy to love him. He's a great guy. Handsome, successful, kind, intelligent all the works but there's something about the way he is with me that really gets to me. It makes me feel like loving him the way I do is okay because I know he loves me the same way." I try to explain to her. As long as I can remember Virginia has never been in love. She had a few boyfriends but nothing worth it, or so she says.

"He's a lucky guy. You are too. I'm happy for you Lina." She finishes with my hair and helps me into the ivory lace dress I bought yesterday while waiting for Scott to arrive. It's short and stops mid thigh. I put on my matching heels as she finishes the endless buttons on the back. I'm sure Elliot's going to hate having to undo them later but it's a beautiful dress. She hands me a box before I put in my earrings. I open it to reveal her favorite pair of earring my grandmother gave to her before she passed away years ago. "It's something blue, something old, something borrowed." She says winking so I know she'll want them back. There's a knock in the door. Elliot walks in with his suit, no tie. He's not a tie kind of guy and this isn't formal. We are a bit more casual.

"Something new." He says handing me a box. I open it revealing a vine styled cuff that matches the lace on my dress perfectly. No doubt he spoke to my sister about it.

"Thank you it's perfect." I reach up to kiss his lips briefly before pulling back. I help him with the cufflinks I gave him earlier today.

"You're beautiful." He says softly looking at me while I fasten them.

I can't help but blush when he's looking at me the way he is. "Yea well, Virginia worked really hard to make me like this so thank her."

"I said you are beautiful. Not you look beautiful. I mean you do look beautiful but something about you right now."

"It's called wedding glow baby." I try to pass it off. He's about to say something but Isabelle walks in fully dressed looking damn adorable in her dress and rights. It's too cold for just the dress.

"Hey princess you ready?" He looks at the watch I got him a few months ago.

"Where we going?" She says leaning her head on my side.

"Well," I take her hand leading her to the bed so Elliot and I can talk to her. "Daddy and I are getting married today." I tell her sitting her on my lap. "We are going to this place where we will say we love each other and we want to be married. After we sign a few papers and daddy kisses me then we are going to be married."

"What about a party?" Elliot fastens the buckle on her shoes.

"We are going to have a party in a few months when we get back to Seattle. But for now, we are going to get married then we are going to a really fancy dinner." She knew we were doing something today but she didn't know what.

"Can I come too?"

Elliot answers her, "Yes you can. We are all going. We can't get married without you there." She seems content with that so she smiles.

"Okay. Is that why you are wearing a dress?"

"Yea, doesn't mommy look pretty?" She nods at Elliot then leans on my chest closing her eyes. She isn't tired though.

"It's four fifteen are you guys ready?" Scott says barging inside. I smile at Elliot then Isabelle who gets off my lap and into her room. I turn off all the lights in the house then get my black coat on over my dress. Elliot holds Evan in his car seat while I hold his other hand and Isabelle's. As we are about to step outside I place Isabelle's hat on so her head doesn't get cold. Marion opens the car door so we all get inside and head to city hall.

We wait fifteen minutes before we are called up to the officiant.

"You're doing your own vows correct?" We nod. Elliot and I decided that we would use traditional vows but pick them out ourselves so they would be somewhat original but not entirely. My creativity doesn't work that fast.

The first words he says are very traditional. "We are gathered here today to witness the matrimony of Elliot Grey and Carolina Reid." Soon enough we get to where we have to say our vows and I'm pretty sure I'm about to cry as I look at Elliot.

"Lina, today I become your husband. I will strive to give you the best of myself, while accepting you the way you are. I promise to respect you as a whole person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you in to my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change, keeping our relationship alive and exciting. And finally, with this ring I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all that I am, in the only way I know how, completely and forever, as your love and best friend." He says looking down at my hand slipping on the thin wedding band on my finger. Without letting go of his hand I take his ring from Isabelle who's holding the box and vow to him.

"Elliot, today I take you for my husband. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind, and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you. With this ring, together we will create a home, becoming a part of one another. I vow to help create a life that we can cherish, inspiring your love for me and mine for you. I vow to be honest, caring and truthful, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old by your side as your love and best friend." I place the ring on his finger before looking up at his smiling face. We look back at the officiant so he can continue.

"By the power vested in me by the great state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Without waiting for permission Elliot has his hands on my face and pulls me so he can kiss me. Mine.

"My wife." He whispers against my lips. Yes, his. I'm his and he's mine, finally.

"I love you." I tell him as he wipes away my watery eyes. My husband.

"Mrs. Grey."

"Officially." I say half laughing. Our little audience of three, and a half, clap which brings us out of the little bubble we were just in. Isabelle is looking at us smiling ready to jump on either of us so we can hold her. That girl loves the attention almost as much as we love giving it to her. I take my little boy so that Virginia can sign then Scott signs. We are given out temporary marriage certificate but the real one will arrive in a few weeks. We take a few pictures most of them are of our little family which I'll treasure forever. This ceremony was small but it was all about us. We didn't worry about the guests or the food anything really just us and the act of getting married.

We had dinner at one of the best restaurants in the city. But as much as I loved this time I wanted to be alone with my husband. They always say you're not married until you act married. Meaning until after sex.

"Okay be good for your aunt okay baby. I'll see you in the morning. Make sure you take care of Evan because he might get sad too." I tell Isabelle as they drop us off in the hotel. I've already given them a lecture and a tutorial on how to care for my kids but that doesn't mean I don't worry. It's my god given right to worry about my children as a mother. It's been a long day. After dinner we went the top of the Empire State Building because I've never been and Elliot said that I had to.

"Ok bye bye mommy. See you tomorrow." She says waving at me. I thought, hoped, she would be more upset to be away from me but I guess not.

I dont know what happened in the elevator with Elliot and I but it felt... Tense. I wasn't sexual or anything. We leaned on opposite walls just looking at each other the entire ride up. Once we got to our floor he extended his hand toward me. I willingly placed my hand in his so he could guide me to our room. He carries me over the threshold kissing my lips but once we pull apart I ask him to set me down. Its an apartment really because this room was huge. We didn't need all these things for two nights.

"Do you want something to eat? Or drink?" He said.

"Just you."

"You have me baby." Gosh why am I so nervous. We have done this a million times.

"Make love to me." I ask him without hesitation putting my fears aside. It's amazing how things happen. How even though I've been waiting for this moment, when he loves me as his wife, for months how I'm nervous. I'm excited too. Horny as always but it felt different. Once we went to the room I pushed off his jacket and began to unbutton his shirt. I pushed that off his shoulders as well. He kisses my lips exploring my mouth with his tongue meanwhile his hands moved from my hips to my back, my ass them up to tangle themselves in my hair. I unbuckled his pant belt and it slid off smoothly. That landed on the floor with a thud. He tried undoing the buttons on my dress but there were at least thirty from my neck down to my lower back.

"Turn around. I need you out of this dress." He said his breath harsh almost panting. I turn holding my hair up so it won't be in the way. After every few buttons he kisses my bare back. My lips go lower and lower each time until he has reached the final button. He pulls the straps down off my shoulders with my back to him. Once it's completely off her reaches down so I can step out off it. He takes off my shoes in the process. He stays kneeling.

"Turn around." I listen to him. He kisses and nibbles on the skin of my stomach moving higher past my belly button to between my breast my neck and finally kisses my lips again. All I can think about is how he's dressed and I'm fully naked in from of him. I undress him in the same slow process that he used with me. I need him. I can see his need for me is standing ready to take me. But we take our time. This is my husband after all I want to know him, every inch of him intimately. In ways I haven't yet. We enjoy the feel and taste of our skin. He kisses my arms and legs before tasting my most private body part but doesn't make me come. I don't want that either yet. I want the first orgasm I have as his wife when he's inside me.

So you can only image the intensity, and sensitivity I feel as he takes my hands intertwining my finger with his a pulling them above my head, while he enter me. I sigh from the delicious relief I feel. "Oh Elliot. You're all I need baby. Just like that." I say softly as he pulls out and inside my body. I move my hips so that I can match his thrusts. It's so good. So full and deep. Slow but just amazing. I can't help but bite on his lip when he's close to me. He let's one of my hands go finally and it moves to his head tugging at his hair. "God Lina. Mine. All mine." His. How can I not be his when he's like this with me all slow and breathing on my neck. His hand moves to massage my aching breast. I can feel his defines muscles allot through his back I move my hand down his back to his ass then back up applying pressure so he can be closer to me. He's going to come. I can feel it. I pull his hair so he can see that I'm ready for him to come. His blue eyes look into mine as my legs tighten on his back just before he says my name.

"Yours. Make me yours." And he does as he thrusts one more time harshly into me filling me. He groans as he's coming and I keep looking at him as my body gives out the control I had left letting go into the feeling of being worshiped by this man. My man. My husband.

"I love you Lina Grey." he says a few hours later before going to sleep. I smiled into his chest knowing that I'll spend the rest of my life loving this man.

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**Hope you all liked it. Please review. And thanks for reading. And the Rick thing will be coming to an end sooner than you think. ;) **


	19. Chapter 19

**Just so you know I still plan on doing a Mia/Luke story however my original plan was to just add the chapters I have of Mia from this story and put them on a different story. Then I thought well, somethings won't make sense if someone wants to read the Mia story and not this one. Now I'm torn between having to rewrite their chapters completely or just making a Mia chapter every so often on this story. Not sure, what do you think? But I'll at least make the next chapter something about Mia and Luke after their engagement for all of you M&L people.**

**The reason I can update so regularly is because I usually write out two or three chapters at a time then edit them as I go. Because sometimes when I start I can't stop. Then I upload them after a few days. And I hate waiting for updated from other stories. I'm sure I'm not the only one. But people have lives so I can't say too much about that. Hopefully I won't be one of those writers who spends months between updates. **

* * *

I'm not sure what Elliot put on my back. It's our last honeymoon night before he has to fly back to Seattle and I'm laying stomach down while Elliot licks something off my back. I believe he started with whip cream but this feels different. His tongue moves around the area before sucking on the skin removing whatever he decided on. I think its caramel syrup or something sticky, thicker.

"This tastes a lot better when it's off your wife." He claims that my skin is some how different now that we're married. I'm fully aware that's not true and I've told him he's crazy.

"Same skin." I mumble as he lifts my hips filling me with his length.

"It's better." It's better, right. His hands move to knead my breasts as he sucks on my neck. He continues this for I don't know how long and while he does this I can't form a real thought in my head. Luckily I regain brain function when we are sitting in bed after a nice hot shower to wash off the excess sugar on our bodies. Although Elliot claims there is no way he left any part of me untasted.

"Same skin baby." I tell him when I finish brushing my hair.

"No, now that this," he runs his hand south between my beasts to my belly button until he's cupping my sex. "Is mine. It makes it so much better."

"Yours." I say just as I push him back on the mattress.

"My wife." I sit straddling his hips as his hands move to my thighs then up to my waist. He sits up so we are eye-to-eye.

"This doesn't make sense sometimes." I confess to him.

"What doesn't?" He says running his hands through my wet hair.

"This." I motion around us. "Things are never this good, not for me anyways." I look down shyly.

"You deserve good things Mrs. Grey. Extraordinary, beautiful, kind, selfless people like yourself deserve good things. So I'd be honored to make you feel good things." He says moving his lips against mine as he speaks.

"Thank you for loving me Elliot Grey."

"Let me love you then." He says as he pushes into my ready entrance. I found a new favorite position. I crave intimacy with him and being able to see his face so perfectly yet move at such a deliciously good pace has my head spinning. Chest to chest, nose to nose, while he's inside me is so good. So breathtaking. As I move my hands on his back higher until they are tugging on his hair he does the same. He pulls hard forcing my hips into him harder making me lose control and my head falls back. His mouth moves to my overly exposed throat. It amazing that a person can love you so entirely. That that person can to make love to you. Having someone as good and kindhearted as Elliot makes it so much better. It's the way he moves his hips into mine and his hands touching me like he craves me, my body. He loves me. I don't doubt that. How could I when he's like this with me? His hands touching every inch of my skin. Love like this isn't replaceable or a lie. You can't fake this and I'm just happy that I'm the one who gets to experience this with him.

"I love you." He says pulling my face so that I look at him once again. I'm exhausted but don't want him to stop, not now, not ever.

"Don't stop please. Don't... Ever stop." I beg him as his lips move to kiss my shoulders, my arms anywhere he can reach without pulling out of me. I do the same. I love every fucking inch of him. They say there is no such thing as perfect but clearly that person never made love to Elliot Grey. "Don't. Stop loving. Me."

"Never baby. I couldn't." I can't help but smile because I know he's being 100 percent honest.

* * *

"I will see you in a few days." He says as he packs his things when we get back to the house with the kids. It's thanksgiving, our first, this Thursday and I for one can't help but be excited. I have many things to be thankful for. Starting with my family. Plus I get to go shopping with Mia and Andy the next day. "Are you going to feed the baby?" He asks me handing me our crying infant.

"Yea. I'm going to start weaning him soon." I tell him hoping he's okay with it.

"Why?" He knows how much I love being able to care for my baby all the time so me weaning him is a big deal.

"My milk isn't coming in like it used to so I think it's just time." I shrug my shoulders.

"Are you okay? You don't need a doctor or anything?" He says worried.

"No I think it's fine. Plus if I do this then by the time we go home you can do all the night-time feeding." I say with an over the top smile. He just chuckles at my facial expression. "I can still do the morning and night breast-feeding but he needs more and I'm just not making enough."

"What ever you decide baby. I'm okay with it."

"I just wanted to give you an input on this." I say looking at the baby.

"Baby it's your body."

"It's our baby."

"Right but you know I appreciate you telling me before hand."

"Can I come inside." Isabelle says yelling from outside the room. She barges in without waiting for us to reply jumping on the bed throwing her arms around Elliot. He leans back pretending that she's too heavy. They get into a tickling fight.

"When am I gonna see you?" She has her arms around his neck looking sad at the though of him leaving again.

"I'll see you Thursday morning. And you are coming to Seattle so you get to see grandma, and grandpa, Mia, Luke, Ana, Teddy, and Christian. And you get to see you're mommy's parents. We are all going to have thanksgiving dinner together."

"Mr. Grey?" She asks him.

"Yea Christian." We're not really sure why she never calls him Christian but she's just used to it now. "Do you like Christian?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes he's scary. Like he yells. But it's a little funny." He doesn't really yell at people just to them. Regardless it makes me laugh.

"I have to get going." He says looking at his watch. "Are you all coming?" He asks getting his bag.

"Just me and Isabelle. Virginia is staying with Evan. He should take his nap soon." Elliot takes him as I get mine and Isabelle's shoes on. He's asleep by the time we finish so we can leave. He takes my hand as we wait for Scott in the living room.

"Thanks Virginia." Elliot says to her.

"See you Thursday." She says. I don't know what the hell happened but next thing I know Scott has Virginia bent backward kissing her. I have to look away so I don't invade their space. I'll have to ask her about it later. They were still bickering by the time we got back this morning so I'm not so sure what is going on unless they are acting like they hate each other in front of us.

"Laters baby." He says to her as she blushes profusely. I've never seen her blush. "Let's go shorty." He puts his arm around me leading me out the door.

"My wife." Elliot says possessively taking hold of my hand.

"Fine. Come here other shorty." He picks up Isabelle. Just as we are about to get in the elevator Scott blocks me from getting in. "Let's each take our own elevator." He says winking at me. I don't have time to question it because the doors close leaving Elliot and I to wait a few minutes for the next one. It's empty just like it always is. Elliot and I get in and i watch as he puts his things down.

Oh Scott sometimes I really like the guy, like right now when my husband puts his hands on my ass and kisses me. It's one of those long fast kisses that is just taking over everything. It's one of those times when he completely claims me as his, not that it was a question before but it's more like confirmation that I am his, only his.

"Clearly an elevator ride was not long enough for baby number three." Scott says when Elliot and I don't let go. But unfortunately I do have to let go. Damn Scott for ruining the moment. Damn the universe for not allowing us one last night together.

The goodbye at the airport isn't as difficult as when we were coming to New York this time it's filled with see you soon instead of be safe. Of course we still say take care but I guess it's the whole being married that makes me feel more sure of our future. Marion drives us back to the apartment to spend a few hours talking before going to bed. I tried to get Virginia to tell me what happened with her and Scott but all I could get out of her was that she thought her was "cute". But tomorrow when I bring a few drinks over I'm sure she'll say more.

The next few days passed by slowly. Elliot talked to me and Isabelle for at least an hour each day. It's safe to say that we missed him.

"You're calling early today." I say when he calls me Wednesday afternoon.

"Yea I'm going out with Christian and Luke today so I'll be busy. Are you busy?" I wasn't. Never for him. Isabelle and I spent a few minutes talking to him but it seemed different.

"Baby I have to go. Just know I love you." He says smiling at me.

"Elliot is everything okay?" I ask worried.

"Yes baby. As long as you're safe everything is fine."

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Yea baby. I just have to go."

"Okay then. Should I call tomorrow?" I'm getting worried here.

"Yea if you want to. Just make sure you get on the plane baby. I miss my wife and kids."

"Your wife misses her husband and they miss their father." She's also curious about what he's up to but won't question it because she knows better than to.

"Later baby." _Stop worrying Lina_, I think to my self. He's fine. We hang up but I can't stop the feeling of forgetting something. My phone rings a few seconds later.

"Yes?" I say into the mic.

"Sorry baby I forgot to tell you I love you." I smile at that.

"I love you too Elliot. Be safe. Whatever you're doing." I tell him with a double meaning.

"For you baby I will." It's just a feeling, it will pass.

Since we will be back in New York in a few days we only take things we'll need for the flight. Everything else we will have at home.

"Let's go see grandpa." Isabelle says happily during the drive to the airport. Marion is going to go with us during the flight to be sure that everything goes smoothly.

"Hey Elliot. I don't know if you're still sleeping or not but I just wanted to let you know we are about to get on the plane. We'll see you in a few hours. I'll see you at the airport. Love you." It's weird that he didn't answer. He's probably busy cleaning all the mess he's made in he house from not cleaning I'm sure. Yeah right there is no way Elliot will clean the house, not to my standards anyways.

"Seriously what happened with Scott?" I ask Virginia one more time.

"Ugh fine dont say anything okay?" I nod my head, the kids are asleep so it just us awake. "When I went to your baby shower I went out to a bar with Mia and Luke they left me so I just stayed at the bar. Anyways, he bought me a few drinks and I slept with him. I didn't know he was friends with Elliot until later. " She says covering her face. I knew it! "Then at the wedding I slept with him again. And when he was here well.. You know. I don't know what's wrong with me. He was suppose to be a one night stand and I keep having sex with him. It's not normal."

"Was it good?" I didn't ask to know, just to make conversation but judging from her groan I would say it was. "Well what's the problem?"

"He's a douche. I mean you know, he sleeps with everyone. And his 'girlfriends' all say he was an ass. Which I can see happening. He's hot and amazing in bed but he's not the kind of guy I want. I told him that too."

"What did he say?"

"He kissed me and I slept with him."

"Maybe you should stop sleeping with him." I suggest the obvious.

"It's so hard though."

"It can't be that hard. Just have some control." She looks at me like I'm crazy. "Or maybe date someone else."

"Were not dating." She says stubbornly.

"Just fuck buddies then?" I says smirking. She laughs it off.

"When are you gonna tell mom about your wedding?"

"Elliot and I haven't talked about that yet. But maybe this weekend."

"What happens when they see the ring?"

"I told him he didn't have to wear it. That when we do tell them that we should be there together so for now nothing happened. Besides, I have been calling him my husband for months so it doesn't matter because they won't notice." I tell her casually. At least that's the plan.

After a few more minutes of talking I go to sleep because I figured that I'll need it since I get to see my husband tonight which means sex, lots of sex.

We arrive at sea-tac right on schedule. I'm surprised to see Maynard at the airport to pick us up and although I do like her it makes me worry.

"Ma'am may I see your phone? Both of you?" She asks without even a hello. We take out the phones from out carryon bag and she takes them.

"What the? Can I have that back?" My sister says annoyed.

"Sorry ma'am I was told to confiscate both your phones." She says apologetically.

"What's going on Maynard?" I look at my sister worried. Something must have happened. Or is happening.

"Let's get to the car please Miss Reid." Mrs. Grey I think to myself.

We silently follow her to the SUV that is parked illegally I might add, in a loading zone. As soon we settle in the car she begins to drive. After twenty minutes of her following a path on the gps I can't stand the suspense.

"Maynard where are we going?" She looks at me through the mirror but continues to drive. "Maynard?" I yell at her. "Is everyone okay? Somethings wrong isn't it?" Virginia places her hand on my shoulder from behind me. "Maynard is it Elliot? Is Elliot okay?" Just as I'm about to yell again she pulls over to a parking lot.

"Miss Reid, I was told to pick you up from the airport. Every few minutes of driving the GPS changes route so I have to follow it. I would love to tell you what's going on, where we are going but the truth is I don't know." She says turning around to look at me and my sister.

"How do you not know wouldn't they have told you what's going on?" She's equally part of Christian's team so she must know something or else why is she with us?

"Miss Reid, Lina, yesterday I was sent to Mr. Grey's house to work as their protection. While I was there, there were a few more men than usual so I knew something was happening. But Taylor told me that my only job was to take care of Mrs. Grey and Miss Grey and Teddy. When I asked him what was going on he said that he couldn't tell me, not because he couldn't trust me but because he knew that people would ask me what's going on. Mrs. Grey has been doing this thing where she threatens to fire people if they don't tell her what's going on." That sounds like Ana. "Of course she wouldn't but not listening to the boss's wife seems like a bad idea. Anyways. Taylor said he won't tell me because when people ask where they are what happened or what's going on the truth will be that I don't know." This is bad then, very bad. "So Lina, I honestly don't know."

"Who's with Ana?"

"Reynolds just got back so we should be hearing something soon."

"My parents?" My entire family was suppose to fly over to Seattle for thanksgiving, including Luke's and Ana's parents.

"Safe at Bellevue ma'am." That's good.

"Why can't we go to Bellevue or Ana's house?" She looks at me says 'I don't know'. I nod and she continues to drive. It must be an hour after we were picked up that the GPS stays on a continuous route for more than fifteen minutes so I'm hoping that this is it. Once we get to the destination she stops to wait for a call or some sign. Her phone must have been ringing because she answers it. She doesn't say anything but I know they tell her something. "Where to now?" I ask her. I'm becoming really irritated but I also know she's not to blame. She doesn't answer which doesn't surprise me but still annoys me.

Ate a few minutes of what I thought was pointless, time-wasting driving we stop at the hospital where Grace works. Not good. I close my eyes taking a deep breath so that I can relax.

"Everything is fine." Virginia says the words I'm saying in my head.

"You are to get out Miss Reid. Someone will meet you inside."

"Maynard?" My voice shaking. "Did they tell you why I'm here?"

"They said they will tell me as soon as I drop you off." I nod my head slowly.

"Can I get my phone? So I can call Virginia once I know what's going on?" I watch her reach into the glove compartment retrieving both our phones. "Thanks." I mumble. "Vee can you take care of the kids?"

"We'll all be at Bellevue in a few minutes. When you want, you can join us Miss Reid." There is a feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that whatever is going on I won't like. That going inside the building isn't safe. Physically I'm sure I'll be safe because I can see Taylor waiting behind the glass door but truth be told I'm terrified of what is going to happen. I kiss Isabelle's forehead and Evan's cheeks before I get ready to walk out. They're both sleeping which I'm glad for because I feel like Isabelle can sense my stress. It makes her irritable and needy for attention. I love her though but she's well at the moment.

"Mrs. Grey." I say turning to look at Maynard. It's never occurred to me that I don't even know her name.

"I'm sorry ma'am?" She looks confused. I give her a sad smile.

"It's Mrs. Grey now." She smiles back then Marion steps out from the passenger's side to hold my door open while Taylor meets me with an umbrella so I don't get wet. _Everything's okay_, I try to convince myself.

* * *

**What do you think happened? Thanks for reading. **


	20. Chapter 20

Mia

The months that followed the engagement were not only long but they were pretty calm for me. Luke and I were more comfortable each day with each other winch resulted in some bickering on both our parts. But no matter what happened we always worked things out. Seeing my brothers settle down and have kids made Luke feel pressured to settle down even more. His parents really didn't help when they would call weekly asking. If I was pregnant yet. He was nearly 32 and still not married. He wasn't a bitch about it but he made it known that he wanted kids. I however took advice from Lina and Ana to stick strongly to birth control. They both got pregnant because of the fact that they forgot to take it. So I made sure I took my pill religiously. He knew I wanted to wait a year before being married so that I wouldn't have to rush the wedding. After that, I was all for having kids. Maybe just two though I don't think Luke and I could handle much more. But that's what everyone says, just one or two then a third and a fourth and soon they never stop. That will be Lina and Elliot she's too much of a southerner to think that the city life is for her. Ana will be smart about it, she and Christian will start planning a family so that things are well planned and well put together.

After Teddy was born I saw how at ease Christian was with him and it made me picture Luke that way. That helped speed up the process of us getting together. So I moved the wedding to that November. But then something happened with Elliot and I moved it. Now the wedding is going to be in February. Which is three months from now. But I can't even do anything because my maid of honor, Lina is in New York.

"When is she coming back?" She left yesterday and Elliot has been avoiding everyone. I know they talk everyday and she told me they're fine but that doesn't mean this is easy for me. She's suppose to be helping me with this and now she's just gone. I have help from Ana but Ana isn't as into weddings. She is trying though.

"I don't know Mia. When she gets here." He says simply. "Is that it or can I go?" He's been trying to hang up since I called.

"Elliot, I need her, so fix whatever is going on so she can come back. Do you know how hard it is to plan a wedding for two hundred people with no help. She was the only one who helped me and now she left. We had things to do but just like always she's jumps and does whatever you want. I don't know how she does it. Or Ana for that matter. I wish you and Christian would stop being so territorial and let them breathe. When are you going to see her by the way? Maybe I can come with. That would be perfect I have to get my dress from New York everyone knows they have the most amazing shopping."

"Mia I'm going to hang up now. Just call her." He says in an irritated voice.

"But when are you going? What are you doing this weekend? Are you at the airport?" I could swear that I heard something about a flight in the background

"I'm seeing her now. Listen I'll probably go again next weekend after thanksgiving. You can come then. Bye Mia." What a jerk.

Its so strange Luke isn't home. But I see a note on the fridge saying he went to the gym with Ryan. Oh well might as well make him some dinner. Or a late snack since he'll probably be home late. If there is something I was not prepared for when I considered moving in with Luke it's the cleaning. Actually it was everything. Being with my parents, they gave me everything a car, clothes, money, everything I could possibly need or want for that matter.

"You're thinking too hard." Luke says as he comes up behind me. He's still sweaty from his work our but it just makes him look hot.

"I'm not. I'm thinking just enough. But now that you're here..." I say as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"You can stop thinking all together. Just get in the shower with me."

"I was making you dinner." He's very distracting.

"I can wait. There are other things I can't wait for though."

"Luke..." Whatever. I give in. He's pretty happy I do, not that I blame him he has a crazy sex drive. I wonder if everyone is like him but I can't seem to think so, why would they, this man is a fucking god-sent machine.

"Way better than whatever you were going to make." He says out of breath.

"I'll be sure to tell my parents that their money was wrongly spent." I joke wrapping the blanket around me.

"No you're an amazing cook, you know that. But I prefer sex over a five course meal any day. Luckily I usually get both." He says putting his hand behind his head.

"Well now I don't have time to make dinner. So pizza or Chinese?"

"Get dressed, we can go out to eat." He says sitting up. I stand and he playfully pulls the blanket so I have to walk naked to the bathroom.

"Or we can go out." I tell him. He's not a big fan of clubs but he will go to bar if I ask him.

"Sure babe." I decided on my black strapless dress with some matching wedges so that I would be more comfortable. He waited patiently for me to get ready and by the time I was ready he had already ordered a pizza.

"I told you not to distract me." I teased him. "See that's what you get for having such a high sex drive. It's a wonder why you even go to the gym when you could just have sex all day." I take his pizza and his drink. It's normal for me to just take his food without question. He steals it back. I hitch the dress up to my waist so I can straddle him as we share the food.

"That's funny because I thought that I was holding back." He says looking at my cleavage.

"Then what is not holding back?" His smirks scares me. It's not a bad smirk more like one of those smirks that is full of promises in which it may contain lots of hot sweaty sex with him.

"Would you like me to show you?" He slides his tongue over the curve of my breast. "I can. Right now if you'd like." I want him drunk. Drunk Luke has a habit of not holding back. So when we have sex he's rough and dirty, just how I like him.

"We should go out get a few drinks." I say sliding my hands down the front of his chest before pushing up. I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth but he follows me watching me as I move. It's hard to try to be sexy while brushing my teeth.

As we walk in the bar we walk by a couple who is dancing quite provocatively on the dance floor. They look completely lost in each other and I can't see, but I can tell that's she's about ready to come. Luke sees me as I look at them so his hand moves from the small of my back to my ass squeezing as I sit in the booth.

The girl takes our drink order but I make sure to hang on to Luke so she knows he's with me. After a few drinks and talking we stand so I can lead him to dance with me. I don't know if it's the alcohol but there something about today that is making me really need Luke physically. After what feels like a long time I sit down and watch as he get me a drink from the bartender. I have a few messages from Lina but once I turn back to Luke I see that he isn't alone. There is a woman with a dress that is way too short to even qualify as a dress. It's a long shirt. Is she's touching him? She is. She's leaning on the table grabbing his arm as she says something in his ear.

He looks over at me waving awkwardly. I wave back. She looks back at me and my heart sinks a little. She's not some ugly tramp. I hoped she was so that way I wouldn't be so... Angry at him for talking to her. It's not that I don't like when other women talk to him it's this one, the way she's looks at him. He's just letting her, I would understand if it was someone I knew but it's not she's probably a whore who's looking to get lucky.

Once he come back he looks at me like nothing happened. Like I'm some idiot who didn't just see that took her number. I down the shot and whatever fruity drink he brought back then ask him to move.

"Babe where are you going?" He yells over the loud music.

"I'm going to dance. You can just stay here, waiting for more girls to come hit on you so you can embarrass me further." I say before I walk into the middle of the dance floor.

I feel him come behind me, I'm tempted to just push him away but then it would be better to tease him because there is no way in hell he's getting laid tonight. I move my hips a so he has his body behind me. He seems tense though. He's not moving the way I'm used to but he has a pretty impressive boner poking my ass. I lean my head against his chest and his lips are on my neck. I open my eyes to find my suspicions right. The man kissing my neck is not my fiancé because my fiancé is standing in front of me pissed as hell. He takes my hand as gently as possible leading me out the exit into a dark street. We walk in silence until we turn into an alleyway.

"What the fuck was that?" He demands when we are somewhat alone.

"I was mad you were flirting with some girl. You took her number and everything. How is that right. You can't be mad at me." I say just as angry.

"She's my sisters friend from college. They got out of touch a few years back and she asked me to give Dina her number." Ok that is total bullshit.

"Right Luke. And she had to get all touchy with you?" I shout at him.

"She's not like that. I told her who you were she waved at you. I was going to introduce her but she was with someone. If you want I'll call Dina and you can confirm with her since you can't trust me . But I'm not sure how I can trust you when you get some stupid story in your head the first thing you do is run off with some stranger."

"I thought it was you." I said to him.

"Did you? That sounds like a load of bull shit Mia."

"Like what you said isn't bullshit." I snap back.

"He was touching you and then you let him kiss you. That's not Fucking okay with me Mia."

"Fuck you." I'm over this. If he's not going to believe me then I'm just going home. I'm not going to waste my time on him being a jerk and ignoring what I say.

"Where are you going?" He says following me.

"My parents house. I'm mad and I don't want to see you right now. So I'll just walk there. You can go home or go get some cheap sex. Do whatever you want. I don't care." We've never fought like this. Granted that we never really fought at all and this is just a stupid fight.

"I'm getting a cab. We are both too drunk to drive and you aren't walking, you want to go cry to your parents fine but at least get there safe." He says as he hails a cab. He gives the driver the address and some cash before slamming the door.

I haven't talked to him since that day. I went home a few days but he wasn't there when I was and I just keep chickening out. We just need time to cool off. Lina should be arriving sometime today but her family and Luke's is all downstairs. I have to get my clothes from my house so after saying good bye to everyone I walk out the front door but I'm stopped by some of Christian's henchmen.

"I have to go you can't just block me." I tell them when they stand I front of my car door.

"Miss grey we have to take you somewhere. Don't ask questions, Sawyer will answer you once he sees you." I don't care.

"Can I still go to my apartment after I have things to do." I say before getting in the back seat.

We arrive at Northwest hospital and I'm led to a small room where Luke is sitting getting stitches on his arm.

"What happened? Are you okay? Why didn't you call me I would have come earlier you didn't have to send an army for me. And what's going on at Bellevue, Ana hasn't arrived. Luke what happened? Are you going to be okay?" I ask frantically looking at his cut. It has to be deep for him to keep wincing.

"We ran I to some trouble when we found Rick last night." What the hell is wrong with him. Why won't he look at me.

"Found him? Who's Rick? What kind of trouble? You are keeping things from me and that's just not right Luke I know we had a fight but things like this shouldn't be a secret. I'm sorry another what happened the other night but that doesn't mean you can go out and get yourself killed." Once the stitches were done a detective came in to take Luke's statement. How did I not know about this. Four people were shot, one had died. Luke was just walking in so he didn't see who but the detective said one was definitely dead. Luke told him he would go to the station in a while to give his statement but I know he didn't do it now because I'm here. He's avoiding me or looking at me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I don't want you to have to worry Mia." He says taking my hand.

"I'm already worried." He pulled me so I was between his legs and kissed me fully on the mouth.

"Mia." He says slowly resting his head on my chest.

"Who else was shot?" I pull his head back so he can look at me.

"Was it Christian?" I ask nervously.

* * *

**Next update will be on Saturday thanks for reading.**


	21. Chapter 21

"Isabelle. Isabelle get up you have to get to school." I shout from the other side of her bedroom door. Days like this make me hate Mia for making her such a shopaholic. I make my way downstairs to where I have to get breakfast started. They have to be in school in 45 minutes so we have time but that doesn't mean they have to be late.

"Hey so I'm staying after school today for extra practice. Can I take the car?" Isabelle asks. Elliot and I agreed long before she could drive that we wouldn't buy her a car. She would have to work and buy it herself. She's almost there though. We give her everything else thought so she could work for one thing. She works as a waitress after school for one of Mia many restaurants. Christian offered her a somewhat small job with him and she could always work doing something in Grey construction but she thought that being a waitress would be best. She can work three hours a day after school and weekends. Plus she gets pretty good tips from the uber rich and snobby of Seattle. I'm really proud of her.

"Fine but remember Teddy is coming today. And make sure you called aunt Mia to tell her you aren't working today." I remind her just as she finishes her shake.

"Mom I'm not working Tuesday through Thursday anymore. I'll work in the summer and weekends but it's my senior year and I have to focus on all my classes. Aunt Mia said it was cool." She says shrugging her shoulders. I've always spoiled my only girl but that doesn't mean I didn't make sure she didn't turn into a brat. Last thing I need is a spoiled princess on my hands. "And Jake's coming over today. We have a test tomorrow." I'm well aware that their studying will turn into making out but that's why I have two boys who are more than willing to barge into her room and piss her off every so often. Of course they don't do it for free but it benefits us all. I don't need to be a grandma before I'm forty.

Evan comes down the stairs with his gym bag. He's into football much like his dad and plays with Teddy on the school team. He's so much like is father. Same nose, eyes and hair. I can already tell that he'll have the same build as Elliot. I can't help but getting teary eyed as I see him eat. "I love you mom. See you later." Isabelle says as she runs out of the house, late.

"Are you going to Teddy's?" I ask Evan.

"No. He's coming here to spend the night. That's cool with you right mom? We already cleared it with the president, First Lady, and secret service." He refers to Teddy's body guard as secret service. I think Dylan is former secret service though. He's always joking about how Teddy is followed more than the president's kids so he refers to Christian as Mr. President.

"That's fine you know that." I say to him.

"Dylan is coming too." Where Teddy goes Dylan goes.

"I'm aware. I'll set up the guest room." I tell him cleaning up the kitchen as we speak.

"You know he's two years older than you. No kids. Phoebe thinks he's attractive. Said you would make a cute couple."

"Evan no. Stop that please." He says that about any man. It's very embarrassing actually.

"Just saying. I'm getting my shoes." That means he's ready to go. So am I.

"Feed Rudolph before we go." Rudolph is the dog I got Evan a few years after George "went away to a farm".

"Hey sweetie. Time to go. Mommy's got to work and you get to go to day care." I say to my youngest son. "Come on Elliot." I pick up my angry three year old and buckle him in the car as Evan takes his things in the car.

* * *

After work I pick up the boys from practice and Elliot from daycare to head home. We make a stop at a sports store because Evan needs to order a new mouth piece which I'll pick up later. I get him and Teddy a few new socks and some shirts. Sometimes I wish they didn't like football, why couldn't they go into basket ball or tennis, a sport that didn't require me to do laundry so often. I hate laundry. Isabelle has been doing her own lately so it's less but it's the stains that are difficult. I love my kids though. Today is Friday laundry day. The boys have a very strict bed time both here and at Christian's so they are in bed by nine thirty. It's easier to fight with them at night then in the morning. Jake's parents are late to pick him up so he and Isabelle are in the living room talking with Dylan supervising. Dylan has to use headphones though so they at least get privacy in their conversations though. That doesn't stop me today though. I'm all about giving her privacy but when I heard them talking about Elliot I couldn't stop myself.

"I was five when he got me." She says to jake, her boyfriend.

"When did he..." Most people don't ask how someone dies. It's just wrong to say it. Like it will offend the person.

"About a year later. My mom, my real mom she was into drugs. She died of an over dose. Her boyfriend started looking for me and turns out he was a pimp for a few girls. Don't ask why he wanted me. Anyways, when they confronted him things went... Not how they expected. The guy shot my dad Elliot. He died a few weeks later. We don't really talk about it." Her voice soften. I lean on the wall around the corner closing my eyes.

"Was he a nice guy?" Jake asks her.

"Yes. He was amazing. He would chase me around the halls and take me for ice cream after school. He was the best. My mom loved him. Loves him." She corrects herself.

"Still does?" He asks.

"Can't you tell?"

"Well she looks kind of sad. All the time."

"She's been like that since he died. She loves him."

"We don't have to talk about it izzy."

"I want to talk about it. No one else ever does."

"Tell me. I'll always listen." I knew I should leave. That this was her conversation, but the masochist in me loved hearing a bout Elliot though. I loved the ache in my chest that made me realize that he was there. That what we had was real.

"I was there, when he died. I remember that someone carried me away after a few minutes. I think it was so mom could cry. She didn't want to cry in front of me. After he died I slept in moms room for a few months. She didn't work, barely ate. Uncle Chris tried to force feed her and she kicked him out of the house. She took really good care of us but didn't worry about herself. Then I think a year after he died she kind of blew."

"Blew?" He asks for clarification.

"Aunt Ana's birthday, her friend was at the party. The friend dated my dad and she got pregnant, not his kids, but she tried to pass it off as his. Well I'm not sure what happened but my mom had a panic attack." I remember that day. That's the day I finally woke up.

ONE YEAR TEN MONTHS TEN DAYS SIX HOURS AFTER ELLIOT.

_"I'm glad you came dear. Isabelle looks so well." Grace says as we sit in the lawn chairs. The party is finally over. I would leave but the kids are having too much fun._

_"She has a little play next week." I tell her. "Maybe... If it's not too much trouble I mean. Maybe you and Carrick could come see her." I don't want her to look in the audience and only see me there for her. I hope they come._

_"Of course dear. Saturday right?" I nod my head._

_"It's both Friday and Saturday but you dont have to come both days."_

_"We'd love to go both days." She says enthusiastically. I know I should feel happy and proud. And I am I love Isabelle more each day. But being happy takes so much energy. Energy that my body can't seem to produce._

_"Go where?" Mia and Ana say walking over. Mia is five months pregnant and hating it. Ana is carrying little phoebe in her arms. She's a beautiful baby. Just born days ago. Grace fills them in as I hug my knees giving them room on the chair._

_"I'll go Saturday. Ana can you go Friday?" Mia says. They talk animatedly about how she'll look and what she'll say. Little do they know my baby is the star of the play. It's because she's so good. That's not me being a mom. It's true. It's not her first play so she knows what she's doing._

_"Lina yes?" They said something about dinner. I nod so they go back to their talking. A little boy runs up to Ana and she picks him up. He hasn't been here all day. It's Kate's kid. I've seen them a few times come play with Teddy but never her. I once overheard Mia and Ana say that Kate hates me now, more than before._

_"Sorry we're late. I had a huge story to cover." Kate says walking in with her tight jeans and accented designer top and jacket. Looking perfect, as usual. Grace and Mia are still at odds with her but at least she's civil. Or she was until that day._

_"Peepee mommy." Evan says walking up to me. I potty trained him early. It wasn't easy. He's still not there but it's progress. Usually he tells me Peepee because it's too late but surprisingly his diaper is dry._

_"Luke?" I walk up to Luke who without question follows me._

_"Let's go buddy. We can go like big boys." Luke, whenever we see him, is the one who's been teaching Evan how to use the bathroom standing up. It's just another thing I can't do. Another thing Elliot will miss out on._

_"Did you wash your hands?' I ask smiling at my two year old. He shows me his still wet hands smiling._

_"Good boy. What do we say to uncle Luke?"_

_"Thank you." He runs off before I can say anything else._

_"No problem." He says. "He seems to be getting the hang of it. Maybe I can take him on a Saturday so we can practice all day. Maybe I could take him to the mariners game this Saturday."_

_"That would be great. Thanks Luke."_

_"Anytime." I walk back to where Grace is taking a seat next to her._

_"I remember Elliot and I when we went to aspen..." Said Kate. I wanted to punch her. She likes to reminisce about Elliot when I'm around. As if she has some right to do it. But she doesn't. He is my husband. I scoff at her so she stops to glare at me. Grace glares at her but she doesn't see it. "What, you think what we had wasn't real?" I shake my head looking away at Isabelle who is chasing the little kids. She and Sophie are "it" apparently._

_"You're a bitch. Everyone likes to walk around saying that you were in love with him but you know that isn't true." That got my attention._

_"Kate stop. Leave her alone." Ana says._

_"No for the past year she's been mopping, pretending that she ever gave a shit about Elliot. Did you all forget what she did to her first husband." That definitely got my attention. I've never heard any one say that before. Not about Elliot._

_"Fuck off." Mia says._

_"Mia!" Grace no matter what is not a fan of that language._

_"How much money did you get this time? Your net worth keeps growing doesn't it? Ever since you came into his life it turned to shit. And he couldn't just walk away because you got pregnant. Then there's the other little shit you forced into his life." Not Isabelle. My babies are perfect little angels. That I won't stand for._

_"You don't know anything. Not about me or about Elliot. Especially not our kids. You'll always be that crazy girlfriend who lied because she was so desperate to stay with someone. We only put up with you because we love Ana. So you talking to me is a waste of my time. Don't try to act like you were different for him. And you don't get to critique my kids. You know nothing about them. I didn't force him into anything he wanted her. He dumped you because you didn't as far as I'm concerned it was your fault. But him dying that isn't on me. It's not on me. Not... My ...fault." I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even focus on something. I got up walking inside. The air was too cold outside. Inside it was no different. It's as if the walls were closing in. I think I tripped. I don't know. I just know I'm on the floor. There's someone talking in front of me but I can't hear them. It's just their mouths. It's Isabelle I think. "Get daddy." I tell her even though I'm suffocating. She leaves and is replace by Sophie. They have to get Elliot. He'll know what to do. Elliot is the only one who can help me._

_I woke up after 38 hours. I had a panic attack is what they say. I don't remember but some where between yelling at Kate and when Isabelle found me I had take too many aspirins for the headache I had after yelling at her. That and my panic attack is what got me admitted to northwest hospital's psychiatric ward on suicide watch at the hospital. The kids stayed with Mia while I was there. Once I regained sanity or some of it I asked to meet with Christian._

_"I want to see Isabelle's play. I should be there. I'll come right back I promise. I'll do whatever you guys want me to do but I don't want her to think she lost all her parents. Please Christian." He looked torn about the subject but I couldn't stop. She needed me there. I don't know how or what he did but he got the hospital to release me for three hours Friday and Saturday. She cried when she saw me after the play. It was only for a few minutes but she saw me._

_After that is when I started to see again. I walked into the bathroom followed by my nurse to see that I had lost a lot of weight. I was under one hundred pounds. I shouldn't do this. Elliot would be so disappointed in me. I was so disappointed. Things changed after that day. I was forced into going to a support group for widows. I was forced to live with Grace and Carrick for the first month after my stay so they could keep an eye on me. I know it was partly because they didn't trust me with the kids but I don't blame them. I didn't trust myself to take care of them the way they deserve. I wouldn't hurt them. I haven't but I was slowly losing myself. After that month all the family, mine and Elliot's, agreed I could care for the kids but only if I had a nurse or some other adult. So I hired me a personal "Taylor", my Taylor came in the form of Maynard. I stole her from Christian. She was always my favorite. She basically kept an eye on me and the kids. Watched the grounds of the house and on occasion cooked for us. Well she ordered for us._

"So it got better after that?" Jake asks her as she retells what happened. Of course she wasn't as detailed because she was only seven at the time but times like that are engraved in our memory.

"Yea. My uncle Scott he showed her the ropes of running dad's company. So she took over. He says people were really sexist toward her at first some still are but she tried to do things the way daddy did them so they respect that. Not her but the way things didn't change. She took a few classes to get used to somethings but uncle Scott says she learned fast."

"That's good then. I don't see the problem."

"She lives in his shadow. Everything she does is for daddy." She tells him.

"Babe you're the same way. Isn't that why you are going to Washington state? You got into Harvard?" I know she would never leave me but hearing it come from someone else stings. I didn't know she applied to any school out of state.

"She needs me jake. And I need her." I'll always be here for her. Even if she left she'll be my baby.

"Just saying."

"You'll be here so that's a bonus." She says happily. They have been together for more than a year so I like him. He makes her happy.

"So little Elliot..." He asks. She chuckles lightly.

"We went on vacation a few years ago. Mom just kinda bonded with him. Then she found out his name and she wouldn't leave him. She also wouldn't let us go so our week vacation turned into three months that summer. We still had to fly back and wait for the process to finish though. Six months after meeting him mom became his foster parent and then the adoption was easy because the parents signed away their rights to her. Or I think that's what happened all I remember was being in Tennessee for a few months watching my mom fall in love with this newborn who was given up for adoption."

SEVEN YEARS SIX MONTHS FIFTEEN DAYS AFTER ELLIOT.

_IF there is something I learned from my five years of being a social worker it's that not everyone is as lucky to have a family. So today Isabelle and I are going to a group home in Tennessee to give the kids somethings. I like to remind her that not everyone is as lucky as us to have parents._

_I didn't expect to fall in love. Not with a newborn. He was born a few days ago. "His parents were a couple of young kids. Said they couldn't do it. They wanted to but they wouldn't be able to. So sad for that poor little thing." This was our last day on vacation and I couldn't seem to let go. Isabelle was playing dolls with some girls on the yard of the home. There were about fifteen kids here. She came inside and asked to hold him. I don't know why I didn't think of it before but I just couldn't leave him, so I didn't. I was somewhat related to The Christian Grey CEO of Grey Enterprise and Holding after all. Of course he made it happen. I know he thought I was crazy but I didn't. After I was granted temporary custody of little Elliot, I took him back to Seattle. God did I need a good lawyer to make that happen. But my parents and the Grey's made it happen. Then Christian found- stalked-the real parents and politely asked for them to sign away their rights, which they did after meeting me. That and an agreement that they could fly in to Seattle once a year to see him on his birthday. Little Elliot would know them as my distant cousins and once he started speaking I became mommy._

"So you're mom has never dated?" He asks Isabelle.

"She goes on dates just to shut our family up but not really. I'm the only one who doesn't push her though. I saw up close and personal what she and daddy had. She's not miserable anymore. She just loved him too much." And I did. God knows how much I still love Elliot.

"How did he die? Or were you there?" There was a silence followed by her sniffles. "I'm sorry you don't have to talk about it." Just then Dylan walks around the corner and sees me. And no matter how much I try or how long it has been I'm still just as in love with my husband as I was ten years ago. I can't help but sob silently until Dylan pulls me toward him and lifts me taking me to my office, Elliot's office, where I can cry in peace. Dylan has become a friend of mine but it will always be Elliot. He knows there would be no hope for us no matter how much he asks me out or how much my son and every other person insists it's okay to move on. "I'm going to go wait for Jake's parents. Go to bed. Everyone else has already gone to bed." He says before walking out. Once I regain control of my breathing I walk to our bedroom. I lay in our bed alone. I miss him so much.

"Mommy?" Isabelle says walking in my room as I'm about to lay down. I can see that she's been crying and she sees that I have too. I smile sadly at her and lift the covers. She gets in bed next to me and starts crying. We do this every once in a while. We try not to but it's harder some days than others.

"I miss him so much." She says between shaky breaths.

"I know you do baby. It's okay. I'll take care of you." I repeat the words that Elliot so often said to us. She has her head under my chin and I have my arms around her shaking body. I don't care what those other woman in the support group said to me it doesn't get easier. Dealing with a teenage boy is not easy. Having three kids is not easy. Holding your seventeen year old as she cries because she misses her father even after all this time isn't fucking easy. Watching the love of your life die in front of you is not easy. It's just not. Nothing will ever be easy. Even falling asleep is not easy. But like all other things in life must get done so we do.

Evan comes into my room the next morning to just lay in bed with us. It's Saturday. Him coming into my room waiting for me to get up is his way of saying "mom get up and make me breakfast". So it's the three of us just looking at the ceiling. Evan keeps twitching though. He can never stay too still. Just like his father. When Teddy barges in and lays with us I know it must be late. Teddy is like a third son to me and he is just as comfortable laying on my bed on Saturday mornings. We've been doing this since the kids were in diapers so it's normal. But now that they are getting bigger it's not as comfortable.

"Not to be a buzz kill but I'm kinda hungry aunt Lina." He says effectively killing the "buzz" as they call it.

"What do you guys want?" I ask them still laying down.

"Ugh finally I'm starving." "God I could eat a few cows." "I was getting kind of bored there." They all say getting up waiting for me. I put my shoes on and wake up Elliot on our way down.

"You know what?" I say mid step. They all stop to look at me bumping into each other. "Let's just go out to eat I don't feel like cooking. Plus we have to get Isabelle ready." The all turn back to their room to get dressed. "Boys can you help with Elliot?" I ask them walking in to Evan's room.

They take him inside while I change. Once I'm done I go back. "He has better aim now." Teddy says. Elliot loves Teddy and Evan. It's easy for me to ask them to help him pee standing up when we have another boy in the house. Evan took a little more practice.

"Did you go bathroom?" I ask him holding his hand.

"Like Teddy. And I go eat with Evan and Teddy?" He asks looking at me.

"Yea we're all going. You can get some pancakes. Are you gonna sit with me or the boys?" I ask picking out some jeans and a long sleeve t shirt.

"I'm boy. I sit with boys." He says matter of fact as I change his shirt.

"Ok. Want to sing me the abc song?" I listen to him sing his song as I tie his shoes. I place a sweater over his head and he sings it again as we walk down stairs. I give the kids a warning that I'm leaving and they all beat me to the car including Elliot who does everything his brother does. If Elliot was here he would be copying Elliot but Evan is the next best thing.

After breakfast we get home to the hair and makeup lady at our doorstep. It's prom day today. Isabelle decides on some loose curls and a natural look for her make up. She has flawless skin. In middle school when she first got her period she had acne but it cleared up last year and since then she has pretty perfect skin. Her eyes are a lot lighter than they used to be and really stand out with her now darker blonde hair. She got some highlights last week with me and her aunts so she's pretty excited. That was the first time I let her color her hair. She's getting her nails done here. She also volunteered our house to be used as the major location where her and all her friends will take pictures. The entire grey clan comes over too for a quick meal. She's going with her friends before the dance actually starts but we just want a moment with our little Izzy.

"Christian?" I ask walking up to him as he's playing with the boys outside.

"Yes Lina?" He asks stepping aside. The boys look at me worried but everything is fine.

"I wanted to ask you something. I know every time I talk to you I'm asking something but it's because you seem to do things so well and I can't do this." I say nervously playing with my wedding band.

"What do you need?" He asks. He acts like I'm going to ask him to jump over a train.

"Evan is getting older. He's at that age when ...he's you know older... He probably has a lot of question about himself and his... Body's self." God this shouldn't be so weird. "I... Can you talk to him. I know I'm his mom and I should be doing this but there are things that concern him and his ...body that I can't answer. So if you could fill in the gaps? I'll tell him what I can but I feel it would be easier with someone like him." I take a deep breath. "It's just Elliot should be the one doing this but he isn't. And I'm his mom and plenty of moms raise boys but I just... Without Elliot I'm not sure what to say." I says sadly. I feel like I've failed Evan as a parent.

"Yea I can give him the talk. I talked to Teddy and he told Evan, who had question but didn't want to ask you. I was going to tell you this later today. Carolina, he's my family. I promised you years ago that I would help with anything that I can." He says looking down at me. He has helped so much. With me, the kids. Everything.

I get called inside because Isabelle is ready and is getting dressed. Everyone else goes to wait for her too but only I'm allowed upstairs. I wanted to do the whole dramatic thing when she comes down the stairs. I walk into the room and she's wearing a black strapless dress that has vine crystal patterns all along the bodice. She's not a busty girl so she looks elegant and not trashy like I've seen other girls. She's freaking tall though she passed me when she was 13. I can't help the tear that rolls down my face as I see my baby all grown up. Well almost. Elliot should have been here. As if she reads my mind she smiles.

"Do you think daddy would like it?" She asks me.

"I think he would demand that you wear a sweater." She giggles turning back to get her earring as I zip it up the last bit.

"I wish he was here. I know I'm not getting married but while I was getting ready I kept thinking about how I'll have to walk alone." She says sadly.

"You'll never be alone baby. I'll always be here. And you have plenty of men to chose from to walk you down the aisle when the time comes. I wish he was here to see you too. He would be so proud. Not just of today but always. I'm lucky enough to see u today but he did love you more than anything. More than life itself." I say to her. I dab her eyes with a tissue.

"He gave his life for me." She says. He did. He would do it over and over just so she could live.

"He lost his life. Things just happen sometimes sweetheart." I don't want her to feel guilty. I feel enough guilt for the both of us.

"It's not fair though." She looks down.

"No it's not." I agree with her.

"I have to get my bracelets from my room." She says turning around. I grab her hand before she can take another step.

"I have something that would match your dress if you want to see it." She nods her head at me. I go into my jewelry box and take out the vine inspired cuff that Elliot gave to me on our wedding day. It's a pretty funny thing that it matches her dress so perfectly. She sees what it is and smiles at me. She's been wanting to use this for years but I always said no.

"Really?" I nod my head. We fit it on her wrist and she looks perfect. I help her into her shoes and hand her the matching clutch.

"Thank you mommy. For everything." Gosh she's so tall. She easily towers over me in those shoes, always but especially now.

I make my way down stairs with my camera and snap a picture of jake sitting in his tux sitting down being watched by Christian, Evan, Teddy, Carrick, Luke, Taylor, Ryan, Reynolds, and Scott. He's looking nervously at the courage in the box. His parents are somewhere in the kitchen. He's nervously playing with Elliot who is using some toy cars on the floor. It's very amusing. Isabelle will be so embarrassed. When they see the flash they all get up walking to the stair case. I pat jakes back gently.

My little girl is beautiful. Always has been.

"Can I spend the night at uncle Christian's?" Evan asks me. Christian nods confirming that he is indeed invited and didn't just invite himself.

"I go grandpa?" Elliot says to me. I really want to say no. But the look he and Grace have is winning me over.

"Sure baby lets get you a bag." This is the first time I'm alone in months. Despite having my wonderful kids I feel alone. It's only when I'm with them that I feel complete that I have someone. I get a beer from the fridge and head up to my room.

"This is Evan's first bath." Elliot says from behind the camera. Again the masochist in me appears wanting to feel pain from watching my husband. Just for added pain I find my engagement ring and put it on. Still fits. I watch videos of when I'm with Evan as a new born and our engagement. I'm so glad we documented so much of Elliot. But it makes my heart heavy. Our only Christmas, birthday. We only celebrated one of everything.

::::::::::

FIVE MINUTES BEFORE ELLIOT

Failing. His organs are shitting down and he's going to die. He been in a coma for weeks and this is it. I knew it was coming but I didn't expect it to be so hard. It felt sudden. He just didn't wake up. Some times that happens I guess. Here was my strong handsome husband on the verge of death and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't stop him from getting on a motorcycle. I couldn't tell him not to go. This is it.

"Grace? There has to be something." I says looking at her. Grace the perfectly composed, well put together woman that I've know is in her sons hospital room crying.

"Oh sweetheart." She says taking his hand. I sit on the side of his hospital bed holding his other hand. She leans forward kissing his face until she moves away, only to be replaced by an equally teary Christian. Mia is here too. Everyone is. Except the kids. Christian is holding Ana's hand for dear life but for the sake of it, is failing epically at keeping the tears away. This is his brother after all. Mia picks up his hand holding it to her face. She's pulled away by Luke when her crying becomes uncontrollable. She's crying loudly. Ana does too but Christian doesn't comfort her. He can't. He's too busy trying not to break down. I wish I could say something.

"We got married." I whisper to them. "In New York. We got married three days before he was shot." I rub circles over his hand.

"Mommy?" Isabelle says walking in being chased by Virginia.

"Come here." They try to tell me not to but she's my child. This is my husband. Her father. She deserves a chance. "Remember how you're mommy Stephanie had to go to heaven?" She nods her head. We have been telling her that Elliot is sick and probably won't be getting better so I think she's prepared. "Well you're daddy is very sick. Sometimes people get really, really sick."

"He can take some medicine." She suggest. I wish it was so easy.

"No baby he can't. Because sometimes medicine doesn't work. And you're daddy is the sick kind that doesn't get better."

"What's going to happen?"

"He's going to go to heaven. And he'll take care of us from there."

"Are we gonna see him?" I take a deep breath.

"No baby. This is the last time. But just because... He's not here ...doesn't mean he doesn't love us. Daddy loves us so much and we love him too." So much.

"He's going to die?" She looks back at me.

"Yes baby. He's going. To die." I tell her.

"Like the other man when you were a princess?" Oh god it is just like that. Again. This is happening again.

"Just like Damien." Ana walks out. Mia kisses her brothers head and walks out too. Luke is not far behind.

"Why can't he stay with us?"

"I don't know."

"I wish he didn't die." She says sadly taking his hand. So do I. I would tell her that but I can't talk. My voice is gone. His monitors start making noise and we can't move. Everyone is in place.

Code blue. They call a code. Charge. Charge again. The doctor looks at Grace. Charge again. Grace walks out. So does Carrick. Charge again. "Time of death 16:17". They say those oh so familiar words and I can't think. Even the time is the same. Or maybe I'm thinking too much. We sit back on the bed with Elliot. Or what's left of him. I know Isabelle is sad but she doesn't fully understand. A squeak comes out of my mouth. I look back at my sister. My body is shaking.

"Can you ...please?" I don't have to continue she steps forward. Christian beats her to it though. He places his hand on Elliot's body then picks up my daughter. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. He's dead. Really dead. My body leans forward as I finally sob into his empty body's chest. He's my husband. My husband. One hand is intertwined with his and the other is gripping the hospital gown.

What do I do now? He's just gone and I can't do anything about it. I'll always be here alone.

I must have stayed there a long time. But my cries didn't stop. They didn't quiet down.

"Little girl?" Someone is touching me. No! I'm not moving. I cant leave him. He needs me. I love him. I vowed forever. He's my husband. "Little girl they need to move him." She doesn't understand. She's had daddy for more than thirty years. I had this man for thirty fucking minutes and I lose him. It just isn't fair.

"Lina," says Andy. "I'm so sorry." She gets eye level to me. I have my head on his chest but can't stop shaking. No one understands. If they really cared about me they would all leave me alone so I can be with my husband. He loves me. I just need more time with. Just more time. But they keep trying to move me. Why can't they see I love him? Why can't they just let me spend more time here?

"Lina." Andy says moving my arm so they can take me off. I think people from the morgue are here. They won't touch me right? They can't force me to leave my husband. He's my husband after all right?

"Lina." Then again I'm a pretty small person. To actually force me to do something isn't that hard.

"Lina." Andy keeps calling me. But she doesn't seem to get that I don't want to leave him.

"Lina."

"Lina."

"Lina."

"Lina."

"Lina."

"Lina."

The more she says it the more her voice is changing. Sounding more like Christian each time.

Suddenly I wake with a jump. Just a dream. It was just a dream. "You really should eat. Elliot would want you to eat." He says handing me a container with food. I'm in Elliot's room and he's alive. Barely but still has a heart beat. I use my napkin to very loudly blow my nose. "Bad dream?" He asks handing me a bottle of juice.

"Nightmare would be more accurate." I mumble.

"Yea I've had some of those lately. Woke up Ana many times last night." He says almost embarrassed.

"He has to get better Christian." I say more to myself.

"He has to." He says agreeing with me. And regardless of the fact that it was just a dream I burry my head in my hands crying because that fucking dream was too damn real to be just a dream.

"Please get better baby. We need you."

* * *

**Thanks for reading. **


	22. Chapter 22

**First of all I'm sorry for the wait. I know you've all been wanting this chapter but I didn't know what to write about. I thought about doing Elliot POV on what happened but I wasn't feeling it. I wrote this chapter different ways but then decided you've waited enough. I'm glad you all like the last chapter it was my favorite to write. It's easy to write sad hints when you're having a bad day. Im sorry to everyone for killing off Elliot**.

"Lina?" Virginia asks walking into the room. I must have fallen asleep again. Christian wakes up from the chair across from me wincing at the pain from his arm. He was one of the unlucky ones that was shot but his was in the arm and it was a through and through. He had the bullet removed hours before I arrived.

"Yeah sorry I must be tired from the plane. What is it?" I look at Elliot who's still laying unmoving in the hospital bed in front of me. I haven't let his hand go. I guess even unconscious, I feel as if I let go then I'll lose him. I can't lose him.

"He's hungry. I would give him the breast milk but he already finished it Lina. I'm sorry I know you need to be with Elliot but he's hungry." My sister says looking afraid. Without another word I take my baby who is fussing on the verge of crying from my sister's hands. She sets the diaper bag on the table next to the couch across from the bed. It's really an extravagant room, I'm assuming it's Christian's doing. I'm not complaining though because when they finally decide on calling everyone to let them know what's going on everyone will rush here. Besides Virginia no one knows. I disobeyed orders and told her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize how late it was." I move my hair ready to feed him when I remember Christian is still here.

"I think I'll call everyone now. There isn't much more to do. Do you need anything Lina?" He walks toward the door cautiously. _For Elliot to wake up_, I think to myself. Instead I shake my head.

My poor baby must have been starving because he's sucking like his life depends on it, which it does but I shouldn't have forget about his feedings.

"Lina, what happened?" Virginia asks me sitting across from me. Truth is I dont really know. I mean they told me but my mind feels cloudy or foggy. I close my eyes taking a shaky breath. "I'm sorry Lina you don't have to tell me. I just, I don't know what to do." She bites her trembling lip.

"Someone wanted to come after Isabelle and do somethings to her. They said something about how they found him and he had people in case something like that were to happen. There was some shooting Christian in his arm, Elliot in his abdomen and his side."

"He had surgery?" She asks skeptically.

"Yea for the bullet in his abdomen. The other one was removed but the abdomen one was tricky."

"But he's okay?" She asks like she needs to know.

"I don't know. He hasn't woken up." I look at him hoping that some miracle happens. "Where's Isabelle?" I ask suddenly.

"She sleeping in the car with some Reynolds guy." She hands me something from the bag to clean Evan up. "Have you told anyone about the wedding?"

"No. Elliot and I were going to do it together tomorrow. I guess we can't now." I'm afraid to tell them because if feel like if I do then I'll upset him. We should do it together. A doctor comes into the room just as I'm about to continue talking. They have to take him for some tests. But we at least get to stay in the room. I finish feeding Evan just in time for Christian to come back.

"Where is he? Carolina where the fuck is my brother?" Christian says yelling in a panic.

"He had to get some tests done. We can wait for him to come back." Says my sister.

"If he comes back." I didn't mean to say it out loud I'm just nervous.

"Lina he's gonna come back. He'll be fine and you shouldn't be so negative." She lectures me.

"You don't know that. He could die. There a very real possibility that he could die. That doesn't mean I want that to happen because you know I don't but he could die. And then what. What the fuck am I suppose to do with all this false hope? That I spent his last moments fantasizing about how he'll wake up and we can walk out of here freaking happy. What do you expect me to do?" I snap at her.

"He loves you Lina. He'll get through this. You just have to hope for the best." She says weakly.

"I did that okay? I did that with Damien and you know what happened?"

"Yes."

"He died. He died right in front of me now you weren't there so you didn't see his bloody face or his body. You didn't see what I saw. And you weren't the one who held her baby for an hour waiting for her to die as doctors and everyone just watched. I had hope then and look what happened after. I want him to live but I can't have hope when all I can think about is the fact that things don't turn into happily ever after for me. He could die! And then what? What about me when he dies? Do you think I can do this again? Because I sure as he'll don't know what happens then. Is that what I'll be. The girl who's bound to be a widow forever. Is at fair? It's not fair." I take a breath calming Evan. I startled him. I didn't want to though. I don't know what's going on with me I just want him to live but I keep remembering that fucking dream. It's like it's haunting me.

"Christian!" Grace looks at me. I guess everyone saw that. Now I feel like that crazy girl that everyone has to watch for. Grace looks at me like she wants to say something but her biggest concern is Elliot.

"Is this Mr. Grey's family?" Asks the doctor. Christian had some hotshot doctor flown in for Elliot so he didn't know anyone. I saw him briefly but he left just as I was going in. We all answer yes. "I'm going to need consent for surgery. Mr. Grey has some internal bleeding. We have to preform exploratory surgery to identify the source and stop the bleeding." He says handing a clipboard to Christian. He signs it immediately and just like that walks away. Another surgery? That's his third. Is it even safe?

By some miracle Evan had fallen asleep in the few minute window that it took for me to shut up and for the doctor to leave. He looked so peaceful. Before I found out about Elliot's condition that's how I felt, completely at peace with everything. Now it like my life was going through hell. The only thing that made sense were the kids. I knew that they were safe. Suddenly it's like I was in one of those big family movies where they are having dinner and even though they are talking, they are yelling so you're not very sure if they like each other or not. The family, the one here at the hospital wasn't really yelling but they were talking loudly or else the other person wouldn't hear. It's annoying honestly. I noticed Evan shifting in my arms. He should get to sleep not be disturbed.

"Can you all just ...shut up. Or yell somewhere else, Evan is sleeping." I said loudly. I don't know why I'm so mad at them. I'm just mad at everything really.

"Little girl why don't I take him off you hands for a bit. You can go home, I'll make you some tea sweetheart." I'm tired. I was sleeping on the chair just now but I need to sleep. I've been stressed and I just have to get better or else I won't be able to deal with anything.

"I can do it. I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry. I'm just going to wait for him to get out of surgery."

"Why don't we go out to dinner. I'm sure Isabelle is hungry." She probably is. We went to a small restaurant down to he street. I didn't want to stay far from the hospital. Besides Isabelle I didn't really talk to anyone they made me nervous about being here. It's like they were all watching me waiting for something to happen to me, a moment when I would snap.

He was in surgery for about four hours until we saw the doctor again. I was crying even before he told us what happened, not because his face said it all but because either way it was a situation that was testing my limits of sanity.

"He's fine. We found the source and it's fixed." He went on about how he'll be fine and some other nonsense but I was waiting for was the part where I could see him. I needed to see him. They led me back to his room when he was still sleeping before closing the door. It was selfish of me to forget everyone outside who has been so supportive but I needed to be with Elliot. He didn't look much different then when they took him away a few hours ago.

I was looking at his monitor waiting for whatever happened in my dream to happen again. In a second I looked away to find his eyes twitching but really he was opening his eyes. I stood up to look at him better because if this is some joke from god or whatever it is a cruel joke that I don't find funny at all. But it wasn't. Soon enough I was looking in to his eyes but he shuts them tightly. I let his hand go for a second to dim the lights in the room.

"Elliot?" He won't answer but that doesn't mean that I can't try. "Elliot?" Please wake up.

"Hi." He says groggily. As if it's the most amazing thing ever I smile at him as he slowly opens his eyes. It really is amazing though. I didn't think he would.

"Hi." My voice is a mess. He's looking at me but he looks in pain.

"Hi." He repeats.

"Hi." Because I don't know what else to say. But then it hits me that he might need something. "Can I get you anything?" I offer ready to do anything just so he stays awake.

"Water." I help him drink through a straw but I must look like an idiot smiling as I do such a simple task.

"I have to get the nurse. Stay okay? Stay with me. You can't sleep yet please. Just for a minute stay awake for me." I kiss his hand because that's the only place that looks safe to move on his body. He nods looking at me like I'm crazy.

I get the nurse and she and a different doctor check on Elliot while I stand far away in the corner. He's fine. They tell him the surgery went well but his face shows that he has no idea what's going on. And he doesn't seem to remember much but they say that's to be expected many patients don't remember. Once they leave I stay in the corner.

"Come here." He says to me.

I shake my head looking at the floor. "I have to go ...tell your parents. Grace is beside herself she wants to see you. I should go tell them you're okay." Even thought the truth is I want to do the opposite. I just want to curl up next to him but I don't want to hurt him.

"Baby." He says to me in that voice he uses with Isabelle. It's like he feels sorry for me.

"I'll be right back." Without another word I turn the corner and see Grace leaning on Carrick. "He's okay. He's awake. He okay." She and a few others walk past me to see him but I stay in place finally breathing. I felt like I was suffocating but finally being able to say that he is really going to be fine is a sense of relief. I lean forward the rush to the nearest trashcans throwing up my forced dinner.

"He's okay Lina. It's going to be fine." My siblings had apparently stayed behind and were the only ones to witness this. I nod my head.

"I thought... I thought he was going to die. I thought..." Noah crushed me into his chest resting his hands on my back.

"Hush. It's alright. He's stronger than you have him credit for little girl. Ain't got to worry about him. It's okay now." I couldn't help the tears that just rolled down my face so easily. I couldn't help it. After a few minutes when I finally regained composure, I walked with them back to his room. I don't know what they were takin about and to be honest I couldn't even look at Elliot. It wasn't a bad thing I just wanted to know he's okay.

"Are you staying?"

"What?" I ask Grace. I didn't know they were talking to me.

"Are you staying the night with Elliot?"

"If Virginia can take the kids another night." My mom jumps in and offers to do it before anyone can respond. Everyone chuckles at how eager she is. She's almost as relieved as I am for Elliot being okay. As they say their goodbyes my brother and sister promise to be back in as hour with clothes for me and Elliot. I have to feed Evan again so they'll bring him back from Bellevue where he is being watched by Gail and Ann.

The silence between Elliot and I speaks volumes. I don't know what to say.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him.

"They're bringing something back." I nod my head. "Lina, come here." He says again. This time I step forward and fall on the chair closest to him.

"I love you." He cups my cheeks sweetly running his thumb over the skin.

"I love you too. I'm glad you're okay."

"If I could move I would ask you to get in bed with me. It's been too long." He says looking up at me. I'm standing next to him thinking about what is going on here. I put my fears aside and lean forward to kiss him. I catch him by surprise but he responds to me instantly. I tilt my head to get better access to his mouth even though there is only so much that can happen now. I just want to kiss him and be able to stay like this with him. Unfortunately someone clears their throat. I peck his lips one more time before backing away.

Virginia brought the kids so I can say goodbye because I'm not leaving Elliot tonight. Isabelle wasn't really into it because she was walking half asleep so she mostly nodded and tried to stay awake even though the minute she laid her head back on to he chair she fell asleep. My brother Noah was the one that brought all the things we would need but as soon as I told him I had to feed Evan he ran promising to be back in a few minutes. Once Evan was ready to be burped Elliot asked for him and I couldn't deny him this. I rested our baby on his chest then moved so that I could pump milk for the night. It's still strange to do this in front of Elliot but it doesn't bother him. Once I'm done I text Noah who was waiting outside. I kiss Elliot before walking out with my brother since he will have his hands busy with Isabelle.

"Thanks for taking them Noah."

"You don't have to thank me. Anyone really, we do this cuz we're your family. I'm glad he's okay. He's ain't so bad not that I thought he was before today but I just think you should know we all really like him. He's good to you." I could say he almost looks embarrassed by admitting this to me. My brothers are very bad at showing love to us girls so when they say or do something nice for us it seems like a huge deal.

Once I'm back in Elliot's room I set up our late night dinner just before he has to sleep. My cot is ready in the corner of the room so we just have to eat.

I'm staring at him. I should stop and just worry about my own food but I m just looking at him.

"Lina." I jump in my seat startled by his voice.

"Sorry. Just been a weird day that's all." I grab the remote from the tv and turn it on to watch some comedy shows.

"So I was told you haven't left the hospital since you got here." I just shrug my shoulders.

"I couldn't leave until I knew you were okay. I'm you're wife, I have a right to worry about my husbands well being which is more important than going home." I tell him.

"Well wife, can you please close the blinds, turn off the lights and get in bed with me so we can watch some tv."

"I'll do everything except get in bed. I will sit next to you. Until you're in a bigger bed I'm not going to lay with you. But I do love you dear husband." I place a soft kiss on his lips but I'm surprised when he pulls me forward and I land on his side with more weight than I should have making him wince. I see his pain and step away covering my mouth. That's the last thing I need to have him back in surgery because of me. "I'm sorry. I'll get the nurse." He holds my hand preventing me from leaving.

"It's gonna pass stay here." He says even though he's clearly in pain.

"Please let me get a nurse. Just to be sure." He looks at me confused then drops my hand. He's fine though I'm just overly worried. Once we're alone again I sit on the edge of his bed.

"Lina. I'm okay. Everything's fine baby." Despite what I said earlier I move so I'm on the bed with him resting my head on his shoulder. I might be on the edge and about to fall off but this is better than that chair.

"I didn't imagine our first week married would be like this. Not that this is bad but I'm sure we could have thought of better more romantic honeymoon places." He chuckles for a second before wincing from pain I assume.

"We can have a late honeymoon in a few months. Just sleep Baby I'm sure you're tired." I'm not sure what happened after that but I'm assuming I feel asleep because I was women up the next morning by the familiar giggling of Isabelle. As quietly as possible I got off the bed to hug her making sure she stayed quiet.

"Morning. You don't have to stay. They can stay for a few hours. Go shopping or something. Really you've done so much."

"This is your way of getting rid of me isn't it. You just want some alone time with your family?" Virginia says handing me a sleeping Evan. I'm surprised he isn't fussing he usually does this time in the mornings.

"Kind of. But I know you like to go out. Taking care of my kids isn't your idea of a good time."

"Ok. She ate breakfast before we came. I'll come back in a few hours. If you need anything just call me or mama. I had to kidnap the kids she wouldn't leave them alone. Laters Lina." She walks out of the room quietly closing the door behind her.

"Did you have fun with my mommy?" I ask her when she's sitting on the couch of the room coloring in her book.

"She was nice. She made me turkey cookies that taste like the ones you make. And we had turkey because we didn't have a thanksgiving. Am I gonna go to school again? I wish I could go back and see my friends." She says without looking at me.

"We can have thanks giving in a few days baby. For now we have to worry about daddy. But you know maybe you can go back to your school when daddy can go home." She looks at me excited. I have to remind her to keep quiet because I could tell from her face that she was about to start her little shrieking thing she does.

"No New York?" She asks clamping her hands together. I shake my head she starts jumping up and down as quietly as possible but it's still manages to wake Evan who starts whimpering which in turn wakes Elliot.

Things went well concerning Elliot's health after that. When he was released from the hospital a few weeks later I can tell I was getting on his nerves with my constant "are you okay? do you need something? You should be resting" lectures but he was not having it. He went so far as too ignore me for a few hours until I saw he was in pain and he hadn't taken his medication because the medicine was downstairs and it would take him at least twenty minutes to get it. The bright side of Elliot being home was that since he was confined to sitting he was constantly caring for Evan who was also limited in movement. That gave me time to run around the house and do errands around the house. I didn't mind it thought because if I wasn't then I would just be hovering over Elliot which would piss him off. He was trying very hard to be patient though.

It wasn't until the third day he got home that I learned what really happened that night. Turns out the people who were shot were Elliot, Christian, someone with Rick, and Cindy who was the girl that told Reynolds about Rick. Cindy was found practically beaten to death but managed to stay alive and call for help. From what they say Ryan has been with her since she got out of surgery.

I was raised not to be an evil person. I grew up going to church with my family when I was little. And although I don't attend mass much anymore I still believe in some morals taught by the church. So for me to be glad that some one has died is practically going against everything I have ever believed in. But when you become a mother things change. And my priority is my daughter. So I am glad he can't hurt her yet I didn't want him dead. In jail yes but I can't wish someone dead. Not even a sick man like Rick. Once they could get his finger prints they were able to tie him to the burning of Elliot's house and the murder back in my office based on partial prints that had been left behind.

Cindy wasn't the only girl who worked for him. Once they all found out they fled so no one could catch them. Christian wanted to help them. When I talked to Ana she said it had something to do with redeeming himself for Stephanie and his birth mom. He was helping one girl. He and Ana decided to pay for housing, schooling and counseling for the girl. I say girl because she was only 17 years old her birthday was in January. They weren't adopting her but they wanted to give her a chance to be more than an object used for sex. I only met her once in the month following the "hospital stay" which is what we are referring the shooting incident as.

Elliot was worried about me. I've become distant physically and never went farther than a touch of the lips. He was still recovering. He had major surgery, twice. He's hinted at us having sex in some form but I'm just not into it right now. We do do stuff together but it's never intimately us.

"Where were you?" Elliot asks as I walk back to our room. I had another dinghy are and fell asleep in the couch downstairs after checking on the kids.

"I fell asleep on the couch." I say quietly. He oats the space next to him and I get on the bed facing him.

"I want another baby." What? I look at him but he's serious. Is he crazy. We can't have another baby. The one we have now isn't even six months old. No. "I'm kidding. I just wanted to get tour attention. You've been so out of it lately. What's going on?"

"I thought you were going to die." I admit.

"But I didn't."

"You can't do shit like that. Put yourself in danger, that can't happen. What am I suppose to do without you El? I now you're okay now, I see that but I was so scared of losing you baby." I relax my shoulder a minute before letting the stress take over. I don't know what snapped. Maybe it was that I said it out loud to him but I can't stop crying. I'm relieved and mad at him for scaring me the way he did. I feel his hand pull me toward his body and I go willingly sobbing into his chest for what seems like forever.

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**Did you really think I could kill Elliot? Thanks for reading. **


	23. Chapter 23

**I'm sorry about the wait and the short chapter but school and work have started and now I have no time to write. I'll try to write again soon. **

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"Elliot I can do that. You have to take it easy you know what the doctor said. And you're not suppose to be up anyways. What happened to bed rest?" I get he wants to help with Evan but he's suppose to be healing from surgery instead I find him rocking the baby at three am.

"Lina it's not a big deal I can do this since you won't let me do anything else." He mutters.

"It's not that you can't it's that you shouldn't. Go to bed please." He's been out of the hospital for a few weeks and all he does is go against what he's suppose to. I'd much rather do everything around the house than have him strain himself. I extend my hands so he can give me Evan but he just turns away. "At least sit down." He must have had to go downstairs to get the milk that was in the fridge. He rolls his eyes at me but does what I ask.

"You're hovering." He says when I don't take my eyes off him. "Do you think I'm going to drop him? Is that why you don't want me to do this?" Now I roll my eyes at him.

"No I trust you with our son you know that. I just want you to get better baby I don't think that's so wrong." I sit down in front of him on the floor. I hug my knees looking at them trying to get it out of my head that he's going to die. I have a right to be scared because he almost did. But he's right I am hovering, not just now but lately with everything. I'm babying him and he hates it but I can't seem to help myself. I want him safe so I have to make sure that he does everything he's suppose to just to get better. I don't know why he's rushing healing will take months.

The other night when he said he wanted a baby I thought he'd gone crazy. It's no time for a baby. We already have a baby. He said he was joking but what if he wasn't. Elliot and I, actually I am not ready for another one, the ones we have now are more than enough.

"You're acting like my mother Carolina." He says rolling his eyes at me. "Seriously I'm with you all day but you've been so distant. When I try to spend time with you you push me away. It's becoming how it was when you first had Evan." I can tell from his voice it's hurting him. It's not my intention. I'm not doing it on purpose I just want him safe. Which he is here. So I don't see why I'm making a big deal. He's getting better.

"Can I?" I motion for him to give me the baby. I kiss Evan's cheek and lay him in his crib just before sitting down on Elliot's lap as carefully as possible and knotting my finger so his head is around my arms. As I bury my face in the crook of his neck I feel him relax slightly and use his hands to hold me tighter against his body. "Is this what you want?" I ask him. I know this is what I want.

"Yes baby. I want you. Anyway I can get you." I understand the double meaning behind that. "You're wearing your ring?" He notices my finger only has the wedding band.

"Is that bad? That I'm wearing it?" His scent is too intoxicating to move my head to see him. I'd much rather be like this.

"Never. I just though we weren't going to wear them until we told our families about eloping. Unless you told everyone." I shook my head. I was getting tired. I know if I stayed here longer I'd fall asleep on his lap but that wouldn't be comfortable for either of us.

"I didn't. I took the engagement ring off to take Evan a bath I don't want to scratch him. When should we tell them?" Before I know it he picks me up and starts walking out. I'm tempted to tell him to put me down but I don't want Evan or Isabelle to wake up so I just let him. But once he sets my on my side of the bed I'm ready to remind him of his surgery.

"Are you my wife or my mother?" He asks looking down at me.

"I'm your wife." I smile at him. It's still a joy to say that.

"Then be my wife. Don't lecture me about my health right now, just get in bed shut up about me." I watch him walk around to his side getting under the covers and moving my pillows just how I like them.

"Maybe we should just let them figure it out. Just wear our rings and see if they notice." I tell him after laying my head on the pillow next to his.

"Your fathers gonna kill me when he finds out." I chuckle at him.

"No he knows how much you mean to me. I can't lose you. I'm sure Grace will be upset more than anyone."

"She will. Lina it scares me sometimes when you say things like that. Baby if something happens to me, you have to-"

"Shut up. I don't want to talk about that." I nuzzle my head into his chest.

"Baby." He tries to pulls my face to look at him but I resist.

"Please don't. I don't even want to think about that. You're here. Let me enjoy you and not worry about all the shit that can go wrong. Please. Not yet anyways for now let me just be with you." I must have fallen asleep because I don't remember much of what the movie he put on was about.

For the next week I prepared to have my family over for the weekend. My parents and sister were all flying in for a few days since I wouldn't be going to Tennessee for Christmas again, not that they're surprised but they still were disappointed.

The first day was very good. They came and mom and I did some last minute Christmas shopping Friday because the next day would be our Christmas Eve since they wouldn't be here the actual day. We made moms usual Christmas Eve dinner while the guys were at home watching some games. I told my dad not to force Elliot to do any difficult activities but they both ignored me.

It was nice to have a day where it was just my mother Isabelle and I. It's never happened before and I got to see the progress that Isabelle and my mom were making. My father also made progress with her.

"It's nice if y'all to invite us here." Mama says during dinner one day.

"I'm glad you came mama. Maybe one day we can all spend a holiday together. Not in the hospital. Do you want me to do that?" She was next to Isabelle who was a messy eater so my mom has spent a majority of her time cleaning up after her.

"No baby I got her."

"So Elliot what's with the ring?" Asks my dad casually. I can see it in Elliot's face that he's tempted to lie about it and to be honest I'm thinking about it. Elliot is looking at me for too long with outlying anything which means that now is a good time to say it.

"Actually daddy about that..."

"I asked him Carolina." Crap he knows exactly what's going on. Elliot takes my hand pressing his lips to my wedding finger before speaking.

"Sir, Lina and I decided to get married sir. While in New York. I didn't want to wait much longer so we decided it would be best to just get married in the court house there. Besides our witnesses no one was there. Of course Lina still wants to have a formal ceremony and reception but I couldn't wait that long for her to be my wife." I squeezed his hand waiting for my father to respond.

"Daddy he loves me. Be happy for us." He's clearly upset. Mama is too. Or maybe they're disappointed but this is what I wanted.

"What about your mother. She, hell no one was a part of this wedding does that's seem fair? We want you happy and you say he makes you happy yet you cut us out from your life. We're happy for you always will be but don't we make you happy anymore or have you forgotten about us. I'd like to think we are still a part of your family but if we're not let us know Lina." That stung. Daddy always had a way with words and I promised myself I wouldn't feel guilty about marrying Elliot, I still don't but I do regret hurting my mother. I watch as daddy stands from the table toward the back and mama follows him.

They can't do this make me feel bad when I haven't done anything wrong. I kiss Elliot quickly before stepping out after my parents.

"I'm sorry it hurt your feeling that I got married and didn't tell you. And I'm sorry for leaving you out of my life. But I'm trying here you know I am. If you want I'll visit more. I'll a stay in Nashville but I'll make more of an effort I didn't want to waste time you know somethings don't go our way and all we can do is enjoy now. But I love him and I need you to be happy for me because I'll think I made a mistake and marrying Elliot is not a mistake. So I'm sorry but I'm not." I expected them to say something but when they didn't I went inside to my little family to finish feeding my kids and sit with my husband.

Elliot tried to apologize but he didn't need to. Why would he it's not like I was forced into the marriage I was all in.

The four of us were all in Evan's bathroom as I gave him a bath. Isabelle was sitting on the counter handing me things to help with her brother. It was very cute to see how she loved being involved.

"Did you know that I love being married to your daddy?" I asked Isabelle when I noticed Elliot was being too quiet. She nodded her head. "Do you know why?"

"Because he gives you kisses?" She asks cocking her head to the side.

"That is true. I love when he kisses me even though you think it's gross." I say wrinkling my nose how she does.

"And he says I love you to you." She suggests.

"I love being married to him because he is a good daddy. He loves you and Evan so much. You know what else?" She shakes her head.

"Being married to him is the best. He's always nice to me and he's my husband so I love him lots. Even when he thinks I don't." Elliot doesn't say anything. I thought he was going to walk out but he just places a kiss on my shoulder before taking Evan wrapping him in a towel then walking out to change him.

"Please don't be angry at me for my parents. I wanted to marry you baby. They're upset which I understand and if Isabelle pulls shit like we do I'll be pissed but I couldn't wait any longer." I tell him in our bedroom later. He quickly grabs my face in his hands moving my head up so I can see him my lips parting involuntarily.

"You don't regret it right. Because if you want we can-"

"It's done. I love you. I love being Mrs. Grey." I had to practically beg him to drop it. It doesn't matter to me what they think. Well it does matter but there is nothing they say that can make me regret doing what I did. I spoke to my mom the day before they were set to fly back to Brooks and although she was upset she was trying to be happy for Elliot and I. My father was too but he tried harder to hide it. I know him and Elliot spoke about it and neither were telling me what happened during their conversation. I think me telling my parents that we still planned on having a full ceremony with everyone there made them feel better about it. Or that's what I'm hoping for because I don't want them to leave while they are still angry.

And a few days later when Christmas Eve can around Elliot and I sat down with his parents to tell them.

"Well you have us here what is so important dear." Grace says sitting in a table across from us.

"While Lina was in New York I flew in for the weekend and we thought that waiting to actually plan things was not really our thing. I mean Evan just happened and Isabelle too so we thought you know? Why not?" He says trying to joke about it. I'll admit the joking is a bit funny but I'm sure his parents aren't enjoying the joke to much mostly because they don't understand it.

"We went to city hall and-"

"You got married?" Carrick says just as I'm about to.

"Yes."

"Without us?" Grace asks.

"We didn't want to wait. We still want to have a full ceremony and then every will be there." I tried to make them understand.

"That was a month ago. Why are we just now hearing about it? Who else knows?" Grace asks upset.

"There was so much going on. We didn't want to add on to the already ongoing stress of things. And it was just us my sister and Scott." I can see from Grace's facial expression that she is getting frustrated even though I know we somewhat deserve it I don't want to feel like a child by everyone for the decisions i made. I'm 27 years old, married with two kids I don't need to be lectured by everyone. But this is grad and Carrick so I'm trying to be respectful here.

"When is the second ceremony taking place?" She asks looking pissed. Elliot looks at me while squeezing my hand.

"I'm not sure I was going to ask Mia if she would help me plan it but seeing as she doesn't know either I would say she is going to be pretty upset that she was kept out of this. Besides the people that were there and our parents who we told a few days ago and now you, no one knows."

"Well you're right in assuming that. But I would love to help you and your mother too just not anytime soon. Mia has my hands full with her and Luke's wedding which is turning out to be quite the spectacle." I smile at that. I know all about Mia's crazy wedding plans and how Luke is so easily letting her do whatever she likes. Not that he could every reign her in but he loves her enough to put up with it.

After that I try to move the conversation to Mia because hopefully they'll forget about Elliot and I enough so that they won't be upset about our wedding.

Later that night as I lay on Elliot's bare chest touching his scar from the surgery I have a chance to actually think about us.

"I'm glad we got married. Even though everyone seems to think it was such a bad idea I'm glad we did it."

"I love you Mrs. Grey." He says just as I'm about to fall asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Very sorry for the wait. I'll Try to get something up but the end of the week but if I don't I'm sorry.**

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"Am I gonna die?" asks Isabelle as Elliot holds Evan and I take a look at her mouth.

"No sweetie it might bleed a little but once it's out you can put the tooth under your pillow at night and the tooth fairy will visit you." I tell her sitting her on my lap. I give Elliot a look telling him to help me with our daughter. He leaves Evan on his rug on the floor and kneels in front of me. He places a light kiss on my lips just before kissing Isabelle's cheek.

"You have to get these teeth to fall out baby or else you wont get your big girl teeth so don't be scared, but if you are a little scared just know that you can come to us anytime right?" she nods her head just before leaning into me. "Why don't we all watch some TV before bed?" I notice Isabelle smile slightly just before Elliot grabs her spinning her in circles. Once I had the movie set and the snacks made we set one of our air mattresses on the floor so we could just spend the night together in the living room. Isabelle fell asleep about ten minuets into the movie so we changed it to something that Elliot wanted meanwhile I put Evan in his side cot. I didn't want to crush him even though he's getting so big. I thought he was teething before but it's nothing like it is now. After the holiday season was over his need for attention grew much like it was when we first brought him home.

"Lina what's this stuff on his head?" Elliot asks me when I'm putting Evan's laundry away after doing it for three hours.

"What stuff?" I'm slightly irritated because for the past few days he comes home and asks me detailed questions on what the kids and I did. Plus I'm PMSing so I just want to go to bed.

"He has scales or some shit like that. What the fuck is that? Should we take him to the doctor?" He asks worried. I can't help but smile at how worried he is, even though I'm annoyed I love seeing elliot care so much about our children.

"He's fine Elliot he just has baby dandruff. It is normal. I'll make sure I clean it tomorrow," I say going back to what I was doing.

"Why not now?" He asks impatiently.

"Because now is his bedtime. That and the fact that there is nothing wrong with that, it happens to every baby. And to be honest Elliot I'm tired. Are you joining me in our bedroom or would you like to stay and watch him some more?" I say teasing him

"If you're tired I can do it." He looks back at the baby. I really don't want to wake him up.

"But he's sleeping," I point out.

"That's fine I can stay with him until he's asleep after I take care of this."

"You really don't have to I'll make sure I do it tomorrow." He wouldn't budge though. He insisted that I didn't have to stay up with him as he put our baby to sleep after we bathed him for a second time that day. I loved watching Elliot with our baby, especially because elliot looked so big compared to our son. The baby dandruff didn't come off completely which worried elliot but I assured him that we could do this again tomorrow and it would be better by then. In the end Elliot slept in the rocking chair and I fell asleep on the floor, which wasn't so bad because the carpet was thick. He must have carried me to bed though because I woke up in our room in his arms. I almost lost him, and that still scared the crap out of me but I just make sure I enjoy him as much as I can.

"Thanks for doing this Mia. I promise when you two have kids I'll return the favor." I tell her as I'm walking out of her apartment leaving behind my boy in her care for a few hours.

"Its good practice for me. Luke keeps talking about kids so I know he's hinting that he wants one soon but that doesn't mean I don't want to be prepared. I at least want to be able to say that I have spent more than a few minutes with an infant." Before I have a chance to respond Luke comes and kisses her in an incredibly indecent fashion for my eyes. I simply walk away leaving them to care for Evan who will no doubt interrupt them when things get good just as he does with Elliot and I.

"Isabelle, are you ready baby?" I ask her walking into her room. We told her to dress for snow so she has been in her room for far too long looking at her clothes. I give her a five minute warning then head down to Elliot's office to see what he's up to. "El, we are leaving in ten minutes so you better finish whatever it is you're doing," I warn him. I stand next to his desk crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know I was just checking something. Since my wife won't let me go anywhere unsupervised I have to rely on others to see how work is going. See you might not know this but I do have a family that needs to eat but I can't feed them if I can't work," he says sarcastically. I just wanted him to take a full day for Isabelle. I smile tightly at him before leaning forward to kiss his lips. It was supposed to be short but the next thing I know he is pulling me on his lap.

"We promised Isabelle today would be completely about her," I remind him.

"But for two minutes my life will be about you. Specifically, it will be about kissing you." It was way longer than two minutes. It was enough that Isabelle actually had to come break us up.

"What if I fall?" she asks me as Elliot does the laces on her skates.

"Then you get back up and try again," I tell her when I see that she's more than a little scared to get on the ice.

"Have you tried this before?" She asks looking at Elliot.

"Yes, we tried this out a few weeks ago. It was fun and don't worry about a thing we are going to hold your hand so you won't fall okay?" She nods her head but as soon as she gets her skates on the ice she begins to cling to us for dear life.

"I'm a little bit scared," she notifies us. She really didn't need to I can see by the look on her face that this is really not her favorite thing to do but I feel that as her parents Elliot and I have to be willing to show her that trying things that are new to us can be fun.

"Well, was it bad?" I ask her as we sit on the same bench Elliot and I were at last year. We thought this would be a fun thing for us to do to have some quality time with Isabelle. It was either this or shopping and I for one am not very patient with her lately in the shopping department.

"No, I liked it. When Evan is bigger can we bring him too? Or maybe just aunt Mia and Ana because they are super fun and don't cry a lot like Evan does and sometimes ti's not fun to be with him all day," she says honestly. I hear Elliot chuckle at her. He's never around when she complains about Evan's crying even though I know that she is very bothered by it. After driving back to Seattle we took her out to eat at a fancy restaurant that Mia took her once. Elliot and I aren't really to particular on what kind of food we eat but Isabelle is, plus she loves the experience of being able to go to a nice place to dress up.

"Do you like your food?" I ask her during dinner. She is sitting next to Elliot and I'm across from them. Elliot usually only likes to sit next to me but she insisted she sit next to him and I can't deny her this small thing.

"Yup. When are we gonna go back to New York?" she asks between bites?

"Never." Elliot says hugging her.

"But it was fun," she says teasing him.

"Am I not fun?" he asks looking at her seriously. I love her giggle, I especially love it when it's caused by my husband.

"Super fun," she responds happily.

"I'm glad you're having funny baby. I missed being with you, you never spend time with me all you do is spend time with your aunts or grandma. You don't love me anymore?" I tease her. I watch as she stands up and walks to where I am wrapping her little arms around me as much as she can. Before I know it she is seated in my lap with her arms clinging to my shirt. "tired?" I ask her when she keeps her eyes closed. She nods her head.

"Are my girls ready to go home?" Elliot asks us while getting the check. I kiss her forehead not focusing on anything other than her for a minute before Elliot takes her so he can carry her to the car even though she is more than capable of walking herself there. I place my hand on the crook of his arm as we walk back to the car enjoying the calm that we seem to have lost for a while and grateful that its back.

**EPOV**

"That was a good day baby." I tell Lina as I watch her nurse our son.

"What?" She asks tearing her eyes of him.

"That I'm glad we spent today with her." She's so preoccupied looking at Evan that she isn't even paying attention to me. She either pays too much attention or not enough.

"Yeah she had fun. I think we should do it more often. Next thing you know she won't even want to be with us. Have to make her like us while we can." She's just a kid I'm not even thinking about that possibility

"You're overthinking it. Just worry about today." I say wrapping my arms around her as she places Evan in his crib.

"Well, yeah I guess that's true. But now that we did a day for her I was thinking that we could do a day for just us." She says turning around. This is new. She never suggests for us to leave the kids willingly.

"Really?" I ask suspiciously.

"Yea. I was thinking we could leave them in Brooks for a few days and I could show you what I had in mind for our wedding." She says shyly.

"Wedding? You're planning it finally?" Even though I told her we could have a whole wedding again I honestly didn't think she would. She would just have excuse after excuse on why she hasn't planned it yet.

"I have a few ideas and if you can get like a four day weekend I can set it up. We could go on Valentine's Day spend time in Florida or somewhere in the East coast." I pull her closer to me kissing her passionately. I only let her go when I hear her start to moan as I massage her ass through her jeans. Why does she do this to me? Why the fuck does this woman have to wear such tight clothing that give me a hard on just thinking about what's underneath.

"Sure baby. So you want to leave the kids at your parents?" What's going on with her?

"What you think they can't take care of them?" She asks offended.

"No, I know they can but I just haven't ever heard you talk about the possibility of them ever doing it. But if that's what you want then I'm all for it." Anything to get her alone for a few hours. I need to get laid. It's been over two months and even though I got the all clear from the doctor to have sex she's too afraid that something will hurt me. The only fucking thing thats hurting is the serious case of blue balls that she is unwilling to cure.

"Yeah and we can have a few days to ourselves." I move her hair behind her ear then moving my hand so that its at the nape of her neck sot I can tug lightly on her hair. "I love you." She says closing her eyes. She's so close to me all I have to do is reach forward and I can kiss her, I can do a lot of things to her that I want to do. Her lips part and I feel her warm breath over the skin of my neck.

"Daddy?" Isabelle says walking into our room.

"Yea?" I ask as calmly as I can possible sound because inside I'm frustrated and a bit ticked off.

"Can you sit with me a little while?" I look down at my wife who is biting her lip trying to contain her laughter.

"Sure let's go." I say just before giving Lina a lingering kiss. I had planned I could just lay with Isabelle until she fell asleep then coming back to our room hoping to seduce my wife. Lina must have thought the same because when I finally did go back I saw that she was wearing a very see-through outfit that just barely covered her ass. But she was a mom first and a wife second so instead I found her asleep on our bed. She still looked fucking hot but I couldn't find it in me to wake her. Maybe in the morning I'll try again.

After coming home from work a few days later I expected to find Lina and the kids in the kitchen but they must have gone out because they weren't there when I got home. I don't think this has ever happened. I did find dinner on the table but it wasn't the same when I was alone.

I didn't think I would be that guy who is outside waiting for his family to get home from wherever they went for twenty minutes. But turns out I am that guy.

"Let me get her, I don't want to have to wake her up." I tell Lina as she starts waking Isabelle up to get her to walk inside. "Hey baby," I tell Lina kissing her when she leans up to kiss me.

"Thanks for helping me," she says smiling as always. Why the fuck does she always thank me? Isn't it my job to help her do shit like this?

"You're… welcome," I say slightly distracted when she starts stripping in front of me.

"Sorry I didn't tell you before we left I was in a hurry," she says removing her bra. My attention has now shifted. Those breasts are perfectly round that's what happens when she hasn't nursed in too long. I want to just push her on the bed and sick her nipples but I know she won't let me. She removes her pants and walks toward my dresser in just her panties. I must be staring too hard at her because she kisses my lips chastely before turning her attention back on finding clothes. She better find clothes if she isn't going to have sex with me.

"Its fine I just want to know that you are safe baby," I tell her.

"Yeah I am I just had a doctors appointment." Now my attention turned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just got off birth control but now I'm back on it so we should be fine after a few weeks but until then it's condoms," she makes a face at me. She knows how much I hate those things. She hated them too so that makes me feel at least a bit better that we are both suffering from the lack of contact, however thin it may be. She assures me that it is safe for Evan as she gets dressed.

"Whats the point of it though?" I say without thinking.

"What? El? You know i'm not ready for another baby right?" she gets fully dressed before turning back to look at me. That's news to me. I didn't know she had decided for us what would happen to our family.

"What I don't get a say in it?" I sound a little more harsh than I intended to making her wince at my words. I don't want to hurt her feeling like I did last time but I should get a say in things.

"You do but it's my body," she says putting her hands on her hips.

"Its mine too."

"But I… Elliot? Are you serious right now?" I won't get mad at her, I say to myself.

"Forget it Lina, let's just go to bed," she's had a long day I don't feel like seeing her upset right now.

"I don't want to go to bed if you're angry with me," she says softly. I should have known this shit will happen. I get mad she forces me to talk about it, we go through this routine every fucking time. I'm not mad about the routine because when she doesn't force things out of me then a fight can go on forever but that doesn't mean I want to talk about this now. "if that's what you want, we can have another baby but i'm just not ready for one now elliot. I want to wait at least another year. Maybe then we can try for another on, if you want." I see that she's fidgeting with her hands just like she does every time she has something important to say to me.

"Wait so you want another baby?" I thought she meant no more at all.

"No, not yet anyway. I just think that waiting for evan to get a little bigger would be best."

"No, I agree. I thought you meant we wouldn't have kids ever again. Because that I wouldn't be okay with. We could adopt if you don't think you can carry another baby. I just don't want to be left out of such a big decision," I tell her.

"You're not. I'm sorry if I made it seem like I did." I kiss her forehead before getting in bed next to her.

"Hello I'm calling from Seattle Academy, Can I speak to Elliot Grey?" says someone calling me at my office phone.

"This is Elliot Grey."

"Hello I'm Marie Sanders I was calling to see if you can come pick up your daughter from school." She says in a matter of fact voice.

"Is she okay?" I ask her. Why the fuck is she calling me though? I don't mind going but Lina is listed as her first contact and I'm second.

"She's fine Mr. Grey she had a small indent and we thought it would be best if someone from her family could be with her since she seems frightened." Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She must have panicked like she did all those other times. Without another word I let her know that I'm on my way and head to her school. I try calling Lina a few times but I get sent straight to voice mail. She's either ignoring me or Mia has her phone. I don;t think I've done anything to piss her off so hopefully she isn't mad am me for something. I'm hoping it's Mia. They were supposed to get some wedding shit planned today so they're supposed to be together all day. Or at least until I get home. Lina always try to be home when I am. something about how she has all day to go out and I deserve her time. I don't mind her staying out with friends but she likes our family dinners.

They guide me to the nurses office where Isabelle is crying holding something against her mouth. She throws her arms around me as I kneel in front of her.

"What's wrong baby?" I ask her but she isn't talking clearly enough for me to understand what she's saying to me. "I'm just going to take her home." These idiots can't even tell me what is wrong with her. "You want to tell me what's wrong?" I ask her as I buckle her in to my truck. She shakes her head but hangs on to my hand not letting me go. We must have been sitting in the back for at least half an hour until she finally calmed down enough to say something. I wanted to call Lina and ask what to do but I should be able to at least calm down one little girl.

"You said I wouldn't die," she says whispering into my now wet shirt.

"You won't. What are you talking about Isabelle?" She finally looks up at me and now I see why she was so worried.I really want to laugh but I shouldn't make fun of the situation. "What happened?" I ask looking at the space between her teeth that is now empty.

"I was playing and it fell and it doesn't stop bleeding. Can we go see grandma?" She was crying over a tooth. And the teachers couldn't calm her down because of one small tooth?

"Isabelle? That's why you're upset?" I ask looking at her tear stained face. She nods her head pouting at me. "Isabelle it's going to be okay. Why didn't you tell me sooner baby? I could have told you that it is nothing to be scared of. That stuff happens to everyone you know?"

"But why is it bleeding?" she asks confused.

"I don't know but that happens. Why don't we go out and get some ice cream? Will that make you feel better?"

"Maybe."

"We could take some ice cream to your grandpa I'm sure he would love to see you baby."

"And mommy?"

"I don't really know where she is but we can get some o take her for the house if you want. But lets just go us two." I sit her back in her chair and put on some radio station that she and Lina listen to so much. It's fucking annoying but it keeps her well entertained. A tooth. She had to be taken out o school because of a tooth. Fuck, she's getting so big. We talked to her about this a few weeks ago but I didn't think it would happen so soon. This kid need to stop growing.

We each got two different flavors and she picked a weird flavor out to take to dad. Luckily he would be in the office all day so he made time to see us.

"Well, this is a surprise." He says looking at Isabelle. She leaves the cup on his desk and gets on his lap to finish her ice cream.

"Yeah, Isabelle had a bad day so she wanted to see her grandpa," he smiles happily at her even though she's paying him no attention. He won't admit it but he feels a special bond to her. No one really knows why but Isabelle just gravitated toward him before anyone else.

"It fell and I was going to die." She says taking out her tooth that was in her pocket. I didn't know it was in her pocket. I take the tooth wrapping it in a napkin because I'm sure Lina, my overly emotional hoarding wife, will want to keep it.

"What that's why you've been upset. That's no reason you should be glad. That means you're growing up. If you grow up then maybe you can come to my house more often. You can get away from you father more often. And I'm more fun right?" I hear her giggle and look at me. "Where's Lina?"

"With Mia I think. She hasn't answered her phone."

"How is she?" he asks looking cautiously at Isabelle.

"Still shaken from all the shit that went down. She checks on the kids during the night. And checks the locks every time she can." I noticed she's been very paranoid lately but it's just from what happened. She'll snap out of it when she's ready.

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"Yes. It just makes her more upset. I'm hoping that her going out with Mia will get her to feel more relaxed."

"You almost died in front of her son. She was worried. We all were."

"I was worried about Isabelle more than anything. Everyone is fucking crazy if they think I was going to just sit and wait for things to magically go away. He's gone now. She is safe." Isabelle smiles at me even though she isn't paying attention to what we are saying. She has successfully eaten the ice-cream off both of our cups.

"She is but your wife isn't. Talk to her."

After staying a few more minutes we left to walk around the mall for a bit since Lina wasn't home. We did get home late but Lina wasn't upset. Instead I found her and evan in bed asleep.

"Hey baby." I say as I slip in next to her wrapping my arm around her stomach from behind. She pushes me away before moving back to me. She curls her body around me. "You okay baby?" she nods her head but stays silent. "Lina what is it?" I pull her chin up to look at me. I see her eyes are watering from tears but she pulls back closing her eyes.

"I just want to sleep. I want to sleep and tomorrow it will be better I hope." Something is definitely wrong with her. i can tell because she's crying. She shouldn't be crying.


	25. Chapter 25

"This one. You have to get this one Mia." I said tasting my tenth flavor of wedding cake. I shifted in my seat trying to ignore the slight pain in my stomach. The last thing I want is to take away from Mia's day.

"That's what you said about the last four cakes. You are no help." She says to me. She has a tone that says she's frustrated but I can tell that she is more entertained than anything. Today is wedding-planning day. Evan is at Andy's house for the day since she and Mark are expecting and they think that they are out of touch on how to care for a child under the age of two. I wasn't going to complain because I owe it to Mia to spend at least a few hours with her wedding considering that she spent weeks on mine practically by herself. That and I had a fever last night so I didn't need a sick infant.

"Maybe we need to try some more." The girl working at the bakery shop just smiled and brought back even more options. I was in heaven for the moment. At least until we went to the catering company and did the food tasting. The good thing about her parents giving her no budge for the wedding is that she was able to hire just about anyone and we are figuring out the food today. Not really, we are choosing the top three and taking those to Luke so he can decide. After this we are going to look at flowers and meet with the wedding planner about the room set up. Then there is the guest list that has to be complete. There is so much that goes into weddings but Mia loves it.

"How's Luke?" I ask her as we drive somewhere else.

"He's doing well. We got in a fight Thanksgiving Day but we made up at the hospital. It was stupid; I was being insecure and he was not being understanding. I honestly don't even remember what it was about but I'm just glad that it's over you know? So after the wedding we are going to start looking at houses. Well, I think we should just buy a house but he's set on having it built. He's suppose to talk to Elliot about it. Maybe buy one and then continue to build on it. Like Ana and Christian did but I'm not there's the baby issue."

"What issue I thought you wanted kids too." I know it will likely cause a big ordeal with her and luke if she tries to put off having kids for too long. That's what happens when you marry someone who is ten years older than you.

"I do but he wants them tomorrow and I'm not sure I want them so soon. Or maybe just one and then wait for another. But he wants me to be a baby making machine you know?"

"Just tell him that. Take it one at a time but he really does one kid soon." I tell her as we sit down for lunch. "So speaking of baby making machines," I start off smiling I know it's soon to share the new but I can't help my self and I need her to surprise Elliot.

"Hurry and eat we only have like an hour to get to the dress fitting for the bridesmaid." She says eyeing my food.

"Don't say anything to anyone because I haven't told Elliot yet but I'm pregnant." I say casually.

"What?" She drops her fork to look at me. I have a serious face on so she thinks I'm joking but I'm not. "How? When did you find out?" she says loudly. Luckily we are outside and it is deserted since it's a weekday.

"So turns out I'm not the best when it comes to remembering to take my pill. I went in yesterday to get on the pill because I stopped taking it after the hospital stay and they gave me a prescription but then they called back and told me not to take it since I was pregnant. It was a new nurse that messed with my test results. I don't know how that happened but once they called yesterday I went to the drug store and took an at home test. Well I took a few actually but yeah."

"That's great. Are you happy I mean you literally just had a baby like five months ago How far along are you?" she asks still looking shocked.

"Its funny because Yesterday I was arguing with Elliot about how I didn't want another baby for at least another year but that didn't work out. I mean I'm happy how can I not be. It's a lot to take in but I'm happy about it. And I won't even show for your wedding since it's coming up." That's what I was really worried about, how I would look in the bridesmaid dress she picked out for us.

"Why doesn't Elliot know yet?"

"Because I found out this morning. But I don't think he'll be upset you know he wants a lot of kids. Unless he does get upset and then I won't even know what to do with myself. I'm more excited because I know he'll be happy but It hasn't really hit me yet. I mean I'm happy but nervous too. It will be fine." I say to both of us.

"It will, you guys are so crazy to have kids so close together but if someone can do, it it's you two. Because honestly you two are obsessed with the kids more than anyone I have ever seen. But you have to be excited, it's a baby, you two love babies." She is right I do love my kids and as much stress as I had when Evan was born seeing him grow up these last few months has been incredible.

All I kept thinking about the rest of the day was our baby. When we were looking at table arrangements all I could think about was setting up a new nursery for our new baby. With every minute that passed by I became more and more excited about all the possibilities of what it could look like. Maybe this baby will be a girl. I could see me and Isabelle having so much fun going out with her and shopping for things for my girls.

"How are you going to tell him?" Mia asks interrupting my daydream.

"Oh, I'm not sure yet but I want to do it big this time since last time was a surprise. This is a surprise too but last time I was worried because we weren't married but since now we are it doesn't feel like such an ordeal."

"You're what?" she asks looking at me surprised. Shit I didn't mean for that to slip out. I didn't want to tell her until Elliot was with me.

"Pleas don't be angry at me." I say putting my hands up

"You got married?" she shrieks out. Good thing we are still in the car because if we weren't then people would have been staring at her for being so loud.

"Yes."

"When?" She stops to face me as much as she can considering that she is still sitting in the car.

"When he went to visit me in New York. Besides Scott and my sister no one was there and our parents didn't find out until about a month after. I'm sorry Mia."

"Do you know how much that sucks. If there was someone who was more excited to see you two get married than me let me know because I can honestly say that I was so happy to see him get married. How could you not invite me or even tell me about it?" She was genuinely hurt by what I did. A lot of people were upset by it especially my mom but Mia was a close second.

"Mia I'm sorry but I just didn't want to wait. I love your brother and I was scared that something would separate us. And we almost did. He almost died. If he had died then i would have regretted it knowing that we could have been married but we didn't because of what? Because I wanted a cake and all those things? I'm not trying to offend you or anything because I wanted a wedding like you're having but I was scarred of losing him and I almost did Mia!" I look forward not being able to look at her directly. "You don't know what it is like to almost lose him. We have kids and we had plans and in a second all of that could have been wiped away." I take another shaky breath still unable to look at her. "I …You don't know what it is like to have to live with all these what ifs spinning in your head." I close my eyes leaning back on the seat.

"I just wanted to be there. To see you and my brother have your first dance and wear a bridesmaid dress and walk with Evan down the aisle unless that you wanted to have your mom do that. I wanted to be a part of that like you are doing for me." she says simply.

"You still can. I want to do a reception for all the family to be there. Maybe like a vow renewal type of thing. But after this baby because I don't want to be pregnant for the pictures. Last time I wanted it soon because I wanted to be married before the baby but now we are married." I really hope she can understand because I don't need Mia to be mad at me especially since I haven't told Andy or Ana. Ann knows because of my mother so that's no worry.

"Fine but I'm telling you now that I won't have any part in planning that since you didn't include me in this wedding." she warns me. She isn't completely pissed off but Still hurt.

"Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Of course I would be pissed if you asked someone else." She held it against me throughout the rest of the day. I didn't expect her to let it go so easily but I had hope.

"Are you coming?" She asks getting out of the car.

"Give me a minute I have bad cramps right now." I tell her.

"Are you okay?" I didn't want her to worry. I didn't want anyone to have to worry unnecessarily about me.

"Yeah. I thought I wasn't pregnant because I still got my period this month but it was just some bleeding. I already freaked about it to the doctor over the phone and she said it was normal so I don't want to have to worry. Why don't you go ahead. I'll go to the bathroom for a minute and catch up." Before she could say anything i walked off to the bathroom of the venue, which was quite extravagant. No way Luke has seen this or else he wouldn't be so damn calm.

It's just a little bleeding, I though to my self as i walked weakly to the bathroom. The bleeding has been happening the last few days but to this degree. I quickly changed my pad and as I was walking back to where mia was the pain intensified. And i could feel the bleeding increase too. Okay time to panic. Well, no, not panic because I can't have Mia panic but now it's time to visit a doctor.

"Hey Andy says she has to do something so I have to pick up Evan." I lied to her. In reality I texted Andy telling her to take care of my baby a little longer than we had planned not that she minded. I took a taxi that drove me to Northwest Hospital in a record 45 minutes considering traffic and the fact that we were at least an hour away if the driver wasn't driving like an animal. Once I was there I was admitted and wheeled into one of their rooms. I thought about calling Elliot but he has been under so much stress with going back to work that I don't need to add to it unless I know what is going on.

"I see it's Mrs. Grey now." I nod smiling despite the fact that things are far from good.

"Yes we got married a few months ago."

"So I'm assuming this is a honeymoon baby?" she says joking. It probably is considering that I haven't had sex in about two months, but maybe less.

"Yeah I guess so." I say stoically.

"Are we waiting for Mr. Grey?" I thought about it for a second. Although I know that Elliot should be here for any appointment I have concerning our future child, I think that I don't want to wait. If we wait he may take too long then he'll be rushing here and I really don't need him to get in an accident.

"No, I think I would much rather call him later."

"Okay why don't we get this started. It will be just like the first ultrasound you had with your other baby so I'll come back in a few minutes to see if everything is alright." Her lack of urgency is getting to me and is starting to piss me off until I think that well, if she isn't worried neither should I. After all she knows why I came and what my concerns are, right? "this is Doctor Edwards she's going to be doing the ultrasound." I know that hey have to teach their interns and all but it's honestly scaring the crap out of me knowing that someone with so little experience is the one doing this. I have to keep my mouth shut though. I have to be respectful at least.

"Have you had any bleeding?" Doctor Edwards asks me as she inserts the tube into me.

"yes but I was told it was normal. It was light bleeding. I had bleeding in my other pregnancy and i was told it was just stress." I say more for my own peace of mind. I watched the screen waiting for something to happen but the only thing that did happen wa doctor torres taking the place of Edwards.

I can't say that I remember exactly what they said but it was something about how there was a fetus. Was. I had a choice to make. I could either let it pass or get it removed. I didn't really understand what they meant until I had to ask to get things cleared up.

"But you said i was pregnant?" I couldn't really think or move but i needed things to be cleared up.

"Right but we aren't seeing a heart beat. It's very common in the first few weeks of pregnancy. We have to perform a pelvic exam to make sure."

"But you could be wrong. It's possible that I'm not miscarrying and this is all some mistake right?" They exchange a look and i can automatically see the answer.

"Maybe you want to call someone Mrs. Grey?" I can't call Elliot. He would be so disappointed in me for letting this happen. He'll be upset and angry I don't need him to hate me for something I couldn't control. There is also the fact that he doesn't even know about the pregnancy. I should have just told him last night when they called me. I should have known I was pregnant.

The knock on the door surprised me. The two doctors had just left saying they will give me a few minutes alone but within seconds they were knocking again.

"Lina dear?" God why do I have to come to the same hospital that my mother-in-law works at? She looks at my chart before I have a moment to respond and her usual smile fades quickly as she reads. "Oh Lina." That's all she can say. That's all anyone can say. Not that I blame her. How do I explain this to her? "I didn't know you were pregnant."

"I found out last night." I play with my wedding band slowly unable to look her in the eyes.

"What did Elliot say?"

"I haven't told him. I… I don't think… I don't think I should. I don't want to disappoint him Grace. Please don't say anything to anyone." This is a terrible way to start a marriage but I just can't face him right now. I can't do this just yet.

"Dear he deserves to know." always the voice of reason.

"I know that but I want to be the one to tell him and for now I don't know what to say."

"We can do it together Lina."

"Not yet. Please just give me sometime to get used to this myself." I can't even think right now much less talk about it. I can't help but feel responsible for what happened. Maybe If I would have known about it sooner then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe If I actually took my birth control like I was suppose to this whole thing could have been avoided.

"I will tell him Grace Just not now."

"Would you like me to stay dear?" she asks kindly.

"Yes." I'm suppose to wait. I could have a procedure to get the fetus removed but I couldn't do it. All I can do is just wait for it to pass. I was sent home an hour later and I would come back in a few days to make sure that everything was okay. I was set on going home alone to pick up Evan but Grace wouldn't hear of it. I just wanted to lay down and not think. Not move hoping that if I stayed completely still that today wouldn't have happened. I was getting so excited making plans for my three kids and my husband and so suddenly things changed. I was knowingly pregnant for a total of one day. I want to say I am glad that it was only one day because if it had been more I would have been so much more upset. As soon as I got home with Evan and Grace I went straight to my bedroom for a change of clothes. I just wanted to sleep.

"Lina I have to get home is there anything you need?" Grace asked me as she walked into the room where Evan and I were resting. I should have made more of an effort to be grateful but I couldn't. I'll apologize tomorrow. Elliot let me know that he and Isabelle were together and I was grateful for being semi alone. I tried staying up and waiting for them to get home but sleep got the best of me so i slept. It wasn't until later that day when Elliot cam home and put his arms around me that the numbness disappeared. His hand went over my stomach and all I could think about was that there was a dead baby inside me.I usher his hand away but i felt even more cold with out him so instead i moved so that my face was buried in his chest. I tried to contain my tears so he wouldn't know I was upset but it was too much. I felt empty. His grip on me tightened as he tried to make me feel better and he didn't even know what was wrong. How could he when I'm the terrible wife that can't even be honest. I so don't deserve him. If anything I deserve what happened for being such a crappy person.

"Sleep baby, I'm right here." he said to me pressing his lips to my forehead.

Isabelle lost her first tooth yesterday and I was so caught up on something that happened that I didn't even notice until she woke up the next day to her being excited that the tooth fairy did visit her. Daddy promised her the fairy would show up and he didn't forget. She was really upset about it and told me in detail over breakfast what she and her dad did yesterday.

"Daddy said you didn't call on the phone." she says eaten her sandwich.

"Yeah I'm sorry baby I was just a little busy."

"It's okay." She looks so honest just smiling at me.

"why don't we get going I don't want you to be late." As I took her to school all i kept thinking about was how it could "pass" at any minute I was waiting to feel it but I didn't.

It wasn't until late saturday night when Elliot and I were in the middle of watching a movie that I felt it. We were in our bedroom and he was leaning back against the bed frame. I sat between his legs resting my back on his chest. I hoped that it was just bleeding but this felt different. It was thicker in a sense. My back was still aching so Elliot kept having me lean forward just enough so that he could massage my shoulders but he didn't know why. Obviously the pain wasn't in my shoulders but having him touch me was soothing enough.

"Any better?" He asked referring to my back pain. I felt his hands rest lightly over my stomach so that i was completely wrapped in him. My own human blanket.

"Yes. Thank you." i angled my head to look back at him. His hand moved from where it was on my stomach traveling up wards cupping my breast and continuing north until it rested on my jaw. I closed my eyes waiting for him to press his lips against mine, which he did after a second. There was no movement just his lips touching mine. "I love you." I said pulling back just enough so that I could look at him.

Just think about the movie. I said to myself. It was an action movie. I really don't care for them but it's his turn to pick what we watch considering that he puts up with my shows during the week. I know I promised I would stay awake but its boring me so I'm slipping into sleep. Until I wasn't.

"where are you going? It just got good?" He says pausing it to follow me. I was hoping that he would be so distracted by the movie that he wouldn't but I was wrong. I have been acting distant with him physically that he was taking today to use the movie as an excuse to be as close to me as possible. I didn't mind it of course but i felt somewhat dirty. Because I was a liar.

"Give me a minute." I walked to the bathroom and closed the door just before he walked in.

"Lina open the door." I carefully pulled my pants to see that "it" had passed.

"One minute." I shout back with a shaky voice. I hear him curse from the other side of the door then I hear rattling with the door knob. I wash my hands as he opens the door and looks at me through the mirror.

"What the fuck happened? Why did you run out?"

"I'm Pregnant." I tell his slowly turning around.

"Baby that's-"

"It's not great. I'm having a miscarriage." He looks down between my legs unsure of what to say.

"What?" I give him a run through of the past few days and I see his face change with every word I say. I feel guilty for telling him now. I tell him how I am just suppose to wait for it to pass or have a procedure. When he asks why I decided to not have a procedure.

"I don't know I just thought this was better."

"When were you going to tell me?" he asks his forehead creased from both worry. Or maybe he's just hurt.

"I was going to tell you tonight and every other night this week but i was scared that you wouldn't… I don't know why. I just was scared."

"You should have told me."

"I'm sorry." I look down at my hands waiting for his wrath but it doesn't come. "I don't know what to do. You can be mad and hate me because I deserve it. Can you help me though?" He doesn't say much and i can't move. I'm afraid to move or breathe. After a few minutes Grace arrives and she tells us what to do.

I couldn't really focus so I'm not sure on the details of what happened. We must have just thrown it away i guess. That's just what happens. As soon as Grace left and i took a shower I got in bed closing my eyes. I felt the bed dip next to me as Elliot joined me a few minutes later. I should apologize again.

"I was happy for five seconds I was happy." He says once he's laying down.

"I told Mia the other day. I wanted to tell her so that I could do this big surprise for you when I told you." i admitted turning on my side to face him. He made no effort to move or look at me. "I hoped for a girl. I think Isabelle would want a sister." like I had growing up.

"How long did you know?"

"A few hours really. But i got my hopes up so easily."

"You should have told me the minute you weren't feeling well. I don't want a surprise. I want you to be okay Lina. Nothing else matters."

"But you were so disappointed. I want to give you kids many of them and to see your face just now…"

"You already gave me kids."

"What if we… I can't have kids anymore?"

"Then we will only have two. That's all that means." He moves to face me and grabs my hand kissing my ring. "With this ring I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all that I am, in the only way I know how, completely and forever, as your love and best friend."

"Your love and best friend." I repeat after him.

"Marriage is hard." he says pulling me closer to him.

"Worth it with you though."

"We'll make it baby. We can have another baby. Later we can try."

"I'm so in love with you. After all the shit that I still have you."

"Always baby." Always.


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry for the long wait. Life is hectic. But I though I could split this in two so you wouldn't have to wait too long for another chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing. And no Elliot did not die. Things just moved on.**

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Mia POV

How is everyone still asleep? It's so late and I asked them as nicely as I could to please be awake by six. I don't think that is me being difficult. I just want today to be perfect. Today will be one of the best days of my life. As I fidgeted with my engagement ring for five minutes I figured well, I'm the bride. I was staying at Lina's for two days and She had said that if I needed anything all I had to do was ask. Well, I'm asking.

I barged into her and elliot's room to find them intertwined in a way that looks far too uncomfortable than possible. I wonder if that is how Luke and I sleep. Or maybe that happens after a while. Not that they have been together so long. I have been with Luke for a few months longer then them yet they seem to have everything figured out in their lives. They have two kids, soon to be three and they look, happy.

"Can I help you?" Elliot says without moving. I shrug still looking at how peaceful Lina looks next to him.

"Why are you watching us sleep?"

"I'm not."

"What are you doing Mia? Why are you in our room?" Our room, they share the room. So do Luke and I but it's different when he says it about them. It's not just his room but it's their lives. Their lives are completely intertwined in every aspect possible that it makes it impossible for them to ever separate. Or I guess they could but I know that they both would be in a hell of a lot of pain if something happened. Not just them but the kids too, how do they do it? How is it possible for them to love each other so easily yet so entirely and have no sense of self preservation? Christian too, he and Ana have committed so easily that makes me question how they can give up control of their hearts with no second thoughts. They married so quickly that they must not have thought about it. Not that I think they would divorce, they are so perfect for each other.

"Mia," he says startling me from my train of thought. "you okay brat?" He still hasn't moved. If he even moves an inch then Lina will have to reposition herself so she will probably wake up.

"Are you comfortable?" I ask him curiously.

"What? Are you okay Mia?" I can see he's worried but not enough to wake up Lina.

"Are you comfortable?" I look at how he's laying down and he rolls his eyes at me.

"I'm okay she sleeps like this sometimes." Her body is almost completely on his.

"But you aren't comfortable. Why don't you tell her or just move her? Will she really wake up?"

"Sometimes she wakes up when I move in my sleep but I won't move if I can help it."

"Luke moves me if he's uncomfortable." I know this because I'm a light sleeper and I wake up when he moves.

"Well, she's small and she's the one that takes care of Evan at night. And you drool he told me."

"I do not drool!" I shriek making Lina shift. She turns to her other side but Elliot is still holding her somehow.

"Feel free to make us breakfast. But if all you want is to stare well carry on but I'm going back to sleep. We had a long night."

"Thank you for ruining my appetite." I say sarcastically.

"You are the one on a diet. I'm just trying to be supportive here." Jerk.

"I need to wake her up though." I say eyeing Lina.

"No. go away Mia she's asleep and exhausted."

"I'm the bride Lelliot." I pout at him in the way that has almost always worked on him.

"She is my wife. That is more important then a bride."

"I'm you sister. I have done so much for you over the years. Remember that time when I helped you get that girls number when I acts like I was deaf and you did some fake sign language. I could have just ignored you but I didn't."

"Lina gives me blow jobs. She trumps getting a number."

"You're disgusting. And unappreciative." I say just before walking out. We really do have to start getting ready. Today is a big day. Why is this house not full of people running around like crazy? That is really frustrating me that there is no sense of urgency. I go back to my room to take a shower and change into my outfit because I am not doing my hair today I have an appointment for 11.

I did make them breakfast though. Not surprisingly, Isabelle was the first to get up but only because Evan woke her up. I took the baby needing some practice. Isabelle showed me where his milk was so I got him quiet quickly which I'm grateful for because I have no idea how I would have done it without her.

"Why don't you have a baby?" Isabelle asks me when I'm sitting across form her.

"why?"

"Because mommy has a baby and daddy. And Mr. Grey and Ana have one and grandma has my daddy. But you don't have one. You cant get one in you're belly?"

"I can but first I have to get married remember?"

"Mommy didn't get married. She did but that was a really long, long time after she had a baby. B first she had evan then she had married. Did you know that?"

"yes, I did. But me and Luke are getting married first then a baby." I try to explain to her.

"Oh okay."

"Morning." Lina says walking into the kitchen. She takes Evan from me and kisses him like she hasn't seen him in weeks. Then she does the same to Isabelle meanwhile elliot just watches her move grinning from the other side of the island.

"Hey. How'd you sleep?"

"Good ready for whatever it is you have planned for us. Let me just make them breakfast and we can get going." I see that she is dressed in jeans and boots and her jacket it on the couch armrest. I watch as she makes elliot breakfast even though he keeps bothering her by making her dance to the music on the radio. "Baby I love you, but you are going to make me and Mia late for her appointment." I get the door letting in the man who is going to set up the tent outside for the dinner portion of the night. Elliot leaves Lina to deal with it.

"Okay first we have to pick up Ana then my mom. Unless mom is already on her way or at christian's maybe I should call. And after we have to go to the hotel where Luke's mom is staying to pick her up and his sister hasn't arrived yet. God why did I do this so soon most people have their rehearsals day before the wedding so now half my bridal party is missing. My wedding is going to be ruined."

"Okay first of all relax, it is not ruined. I will make sure that his sister knows the order of how the ceremony will go. Second of all this is perfect because that means that we can have your bridal shower after." Elliot comes back in takes the carton of juice from the fridge only to be yelled at and poked by Lina until he stops.

"Have you told him about what we were talking about when we went to the cake testing?" I watch her face fall before nodding. "Well, aren't you excited? It's another baby this is great news right?"

"I had a miscarriage." Oh. Shit great. "Anyway, this is ready so I'm trusting you to feed Isabelle and keep them alive for a few hours on your own. I love you," she kisses Elliot briefly before we step out.

"I am so sorry I didn't know I just wanted to see if you had and you tell me that. Why didn't you call me I would have been here for whatever you needed Lina?"

"its fine. Grace was there when I was at the hospital. It sucks but we moved on I guess. For now we are just trying to get through Evan's first year without thinking about expanding our family at all. He's only six months. To be honest he is such a handful I don't know how the hell I think I can have another kid anytime soon. Things are getting good with us so I think we will just stay the way we are right now."

"So I talked to Luke about the kid situation." I tell her. I'm not sure if now is the best time to mention it but I seriously need to say it. I already told Ana but I want to get Lina's input on things.

_"Your'e home early." He's never here early, not before me anyway. He's sitting on the couch with papers thrown everywhere._

_"Yeah I thought I would come home and have sex with my fiancée but she wasn't home."_

_"well, I'm here now." I drop my purse on the floor and remove my jacket as I walk toward him. He starts to remove the papers on the couch setting them on the table. I remove my boots and socks just before my legs go on either side of him._

_I lean forward to kiss him and he responds by moving his hand to my cheek cradling my head in his hands. I expect things to be easy and I'm hoping that we can have a quick fuck just before I have to make dinner but something happens when he pulls back to look at me. I feel his lips move slower but his right hand moves from the nape of my neck to my back the into my jeans to touch my ass._

_"Mia I need to talk to you about something before we keep going."_

_"We can talk later," I say kissing down his neck._

_"We can have a baby." I keep my hands on his shoulder but sit back on his thighs. "I love you Mia and I'm ready to marry you have a baby and a family. But I need to know that you want that too."_

_"I do, you know I do."_

_"But?" He asks when I don't keep talking._

_"That's all I had to say," he smirks at me. He knows me too well to think that al I have to say are a few words._

_"Because you are Mia I know that there is way more that you have to say so can you please just tell me the conditions you need to place for us to have a baby."_

_"But I don't want them all at once we can have one." His smile is beautiful and I'm not even done talking. How could I even resist telling him no at anything when it's so easy to make him this happy? "Stop smiling I'm not done." He tries to stop but he doesn't he just smiles without showing his teeth._

_"Two?" he suggests._

_"One and then just wait a while until we have anymore. Because I know that a baby ill be a lot of work and having to be married to you will be hard. Not because you are difficult but because we are going to be married and I know marriage takes work but just One for now and I want to build myself professionally. I was talking with christian and we went over the restaurant plans. He put it in my name." I say out of breathe._

_"He what?" Luke sits up holding my thighs so I don't fall back._

_"The restaurant, he bought a space downtown and he set me as the primary owner. And I met with the person who he wants to manage it because it's a trusted guy and he can show me the ropes of things I guess. I don't know it's just too much no? Or do I sound ungrateful?"_

_"No, Mia it is a lot to take in on one day. But hey you should be happy baby."_

_"We are steering off topic but I just wanted to tell you over dinner. I ordered something so it should be here soon."_

_"How soon? Do we have time to celebrate?" He says moving his hands up my thighs._

_"Let me get dressed and we can finish this when we eat." I kiss his lips and scramble off his lap before he has a chance to think. Since I will probably be undressed within the next hour I put on some shorts and a loose t shirt. I love getting home and just taking off my bra they are honestly such a hassle. I can't wait for our honeymoon when I can go two weeks without one, nothing but Luke and I for two weeks._

_"You started without me?" I ask pretending to be hurt._

_"sorry." I don't mind really. I get the other fork and eat from his plate. I don't think it bothers him but he hasn't said anything so I'll assume he doesn't._

_I tell him about how I'm meeting with the design team the week after we get back from our honeymoon about how the restaurant will operate. It ridiculous that I'm getting this huge job handed to me just because christian thinks that I deserve it. I'm well aware that I have everything I want and it has all been handed to me on a silver platter but that doesn't mean that I deserve it. It makes me nervous seeing Christian do all of this for me because if this fails it will all fall on my shoulders alone._

_"I just don't want to fail, not at this, or being your wife or being a mom."_

_"Is that what your'e scared of? That you will be a bad mom Mia?" he asks shifting so that he is sitting facing me instead of just next to me._

_"Of course, Aren't you scared?"_

_"Sure but we can figure it out Mia. We have to because I want this and You do too. I know I'mm rushing you into it but this is what I want baby. I can't say that I'll be okay if we never have kids because it won't. I love you but that isn't negotiable."_

_"I know. I would say the same if you didn't want to have kids with me but I'm just scared. But just one kid Luke, for now."_

_"Should we start now?" he asks lustfully._

_"We could." He looks back at me._

_"We could," he says hinting at whats on his mind._

_"I want to." I say looking right at him so he knows that I am serious about this. And like that the food much like the rest of the world is forgotten as he starts to remove his shirt then mine. He cradles me carrying me to our bedroom while I rest my head on his chest as he walks down the small hallway into our bedroom. He kissed my forehead before he sets me down on the bed so I can watch him remove his pants which is followed by his boxers and that leaves him completely nude in front of me._

_I know that from one night I wouldn't get pregnant. Not because I think it would take a long time but because I was still on birth control. After having two surprise nephew I panicked and have been taking It religiously every two and a half months. I had the shot and so far I have not missed an appointment since I was with Luke. But now I can._

"So that's it your are just going to let it happen or are you going to actually try?" She asks looking at me as we sit.

"Is there a difference?" I ask.

"Yeah didn't you hear Andy and how crazy she was getting when she started getting frustrated that she couldn't get pregnant?" That's true, all she thought about was getting pregnant ad she wouldn't even focus on life. I was a bit extreme but considering I'm okay with waiting then it just shows that I wont go crazy like her, not yet anyway.

"what are you thinking about?" Christian asks me as I am waiting outside where the ceremony place will be. We are going to start the rehearsal soon but I haven't gone in yet.

"It's been a stressful day I think." I say quietly.

"Getting cold feet? Because you know I am more than willing to drive the getaway car. Nothing agains Luke but if you aren't ready that's okay."

"One in two marriages end in divorce. Did you know that?" O ask him shifting my ring around my finger.

"Yes, but that is just a statistic." He says his eyebrows scrunching together.

"That means that out of us and elliot only one will actually stay marriage and then they say that it takes a full two yeas for you to actually get to know someone. And you have to have things in common with someone because if you don't then you could end up divorced. Well, Luke, I love him and he's amazing and he loves me but if all of that is true well, we don't like the same music and when we were talking about the house we want to buy I said that I wanted it to have more than four bedrooms and he said we wouldn't need them. And we can never agree on what to watch either he picks or I do and then if I"m the one to choose he gets upset. That's a sign right that we might be one of those couples. And it's so annoying that when he works on things at home he leaves all his crap everywhere. I don't clean. Or not enough I think. IT just feels like I'm going to marry him and we are so good together but what if in a few years we aren't Should I even be marrying him Christian?" I take a breath and wipe my tears.

"Do you want to marry him?" Christian asks me.

"Yes, but I don't want to fail at marriage. How do I do that? How can I marry him and trust that he won't break my heart? I have always had that in my head but I just want him to love me forever. I trust him but Im scared Christian. How do you do it with Ana?"

"Mia." Christian looks at me for a second before looking behind me. I turn to see Luke watching me. Crap please tell me he didn't hear.

"We are ready to start," he says walking forward so he can put his arm around me. "Do you need a minute?" Thank god he didn't hear.

"Yes. We just need to talk." Christian says for me.

"All right, we can start when your ready."


End file.
